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Dear Dish-It, My Dad Beats Me and My Stepmom Doesn't Care


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

My dad hits me all the time with his belt and threatens to break my arms and stuff. He also says that I'm going to wish that I'm dead when he's done with me. My stepmom doesn't care, so she just sits there and watches. She snoops through my things and found this personal and private letter that I had written to my friend as a joke, but it never got sent. My dad is super mad about what I wrote in the letter and he is going to beat me till I pass out. What should I do if I don't want to call the police or child services?
loveistheway


Dear loveistheway,

I'm sorry to hear that things at home are so bad. I'm sure you could try staying over at a friend's house for awhile, but that won't solve your problems. I understand that you don't want to call the cops on your dad, but when a situation is as serious as yours, you can't keep it a secret cuz you're only continuing to put your life in danger. If your dad is being abusive and your stepmom isn't helping you out, you need to turn to someone who will put your best interests first. Is your real mom around to talk to? Can you go to her for help? Maybe she can make arrangements for you to stay with her from now on. But if she's not available, you should make an appointment right away to talk to your school counselor, or call an anonymous hotline like the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD. It's available 24 hours a day, so I suggest you call them ASAP to get local information on what you can do and where you can go for help. Take care and let me know how things turn out.


That is what you need to do. If he doesn't stop, call social services and they will put you in a better environment.
Username: Anonymous


I agree with Dish-It! When I first read this, it made me want to cry! You need to go to a family relative, a trusted friend, anyone that really cares about you and your safety. Call a hotline! Anyone that wants to help!
Username: Anonymous


I feel so sad for loveistheway! :-( please loveistheway, I want to wish you good luck because it happens to me sometimes too. Let's just hope God or Jesus is watching you! :-)
Username: Anonymous


If I were you, I would have called the CPS (Child Protective Services).
Username: Anonymous


I'm sorry to hear that, but you need to be strong and try to get out of this one way or another. And don't you have someone who you can trust to talk to?
Username: Anonymous


loveistheway! I grew up in a lifestyle similar to yours when I was younger. My dad is an alcoholic and my mom is a druggie. I was raised by my father, and I raised my brother by myself. In the past few years, I have moved in with my grandparents. Life couldn't be any greater! I have an amazing boyfriend. But as for your situation, all I can SAY is get out NOW!! Go stay with someone... or you should definitely call CPS! It sounds bad... but if your father really does scare you, it would be all worth the effort! I promise.
Username: Anonymous


I feel so bad for you. I'm 11 turning 12 and whenever I was at my real dad's house, he would beat me too. As a girl, it hurt a lot. Until i turned about six, I kept it a secret. I finally told my mom and what she told me was shocking... he was beating her too. So my mom took me and left him. Now I have a really cool stepdad. I think it's sad your stepmom doesn't do anything.
Username: rainbird2323


Girl, tell somebody your dad will hit you until you die. You can't be in this situation.
Username: Anonymous


Wow girl! Seriously, you NEED to call someone. I know you love your dad, but I am sure you also love yourself and yourself needs some help! And girl, don't feel guilty about calling for help, it will help you and your dad at the same time. Good luck girlfriend!
Username: Anonymous


I know what you mean. My stepdad is like that, but yeah you should call the police no matter how much it hurts. I did it and my stepdad is in full recovery and I am so happy.
Username: Anonymous


I really think you should call your old mom, but if your dad catches you, call the police THAT VERY SECOND!!!!
Username: Anonymous


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


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  • 56 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    rainbowpoptart
    Goodness... I see where your mother is coming from: if you eat too much, no matter how healthy the food is, and don't work off the calories, you're going to gain weight. But she's being very obsessive and dramatic about it. There is nothing wrong with eating pizza or a cookie every now and then, and there's nothing wrong with relaxing from time to time either. As long as you aren't constantly eating junk and not burning the calories, then you do not have a problem. Eating unhealthy things every now and then does not make you fat. EATING every now and then does not make you fat. Try explaining this to her, calmly and patiently. Tell her that you don't want to be forced to do all of this exercising - being forced to exercise makes it a lot less interesting. Do not take "This is for your own good" for an answer; if you do not want to do it, it is NOT for your good. (This, of course, would be a different story if you were actually fat.) ALSO tell her that exercising too much and not satiating your cravings is JUST AS UNHEALTHY AS BEING FAT IS. If you were to not eat healthful meals and not snack every now and then, no matter how healthy or unhealthy the food is, plus exercise so frequently, you would not be healthy.  Eating is good for you, even if the food isn't. Eating too little and eating too much is not healthy. Exercise is good for you. Not exercising enough and exercising too much is not good for you. If you talking to her doesn't help, try telling another adult how you feel, and maybe they can help get it through to her. Regardless of what happens, take care of yourself. Moderate how much you eat, but don't limit yourself to less than you feel you need. Exercise, but don't do something you don't want to; working out should be fun. Good luck with everything. I'm really sorry that she makes you feel so badly about this.
    reply 1 day
    jake495
    jake495 posted in Family Issues:
    Make sure she knows its your body not hers In a respectful way of course
    reply 1 day
    ThePaleWalker636
    I'm perfectly happy with myself. I'm around 5'6" and somewhere between 140-150 pounds, and I don't feel fat. But my mom is constantly telling me that I am, or, at least, that I'm going to be. She forces me to go to exercise classes because I don't like many sports, tries making me go on diets, but I don't want to. She tells me that if I continue the way I am, having an extra cookie once in a while and only eating cereal for breakfast, that I'll end up fat, and she makes sure to emphasize how horrible that is for a person to live with. She rolls her eyes and sighs whenever she sees me getting a snack, and just in general makes me feel awful for eating the things I like and for relaxing. I've told her that I don't want to do these things and that she makes me feel bad when she says things like that, but she swears it's for my own good and that I should never want to be fat, that it ruins people's lives. How should I deal with this?
    reply 1 day
    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    "NS12" wrote: I meet this guy at a festival and we have been talking for the whole week and my mum has noticed I keep texting someone and I know I need to tell her but I don t know how I am going to tell her, I doubt she ll get angry or anything but he lives about 4/5 hours away from me. I know I need to tell her as I don t like keeping secrets from her. I know this was a bit ago, but I truly hope that you were able to be open with your mother. If you feel as if they won't get mad at you, then chances are that your guardian will not. Honesty is the best policy, and if you feel guilt keeping a secret, then it is one you probably shouldn't be keeping.
    reply 2 days
    drowning
    I agree with @rainbowpoptart. You really shouldn't worry about relationships that much given your age. I promise, they're better things to worry about than boys and more secure romances occur later on in life anyways. But, given the situation, you shouldn't worry about either. The boy is unfaithful and so is your friend. If your best friend really valued your friendship, she would not have put it in a position that could end it. Don't waste your time on those who will not put you first just as you do for them; better people will come into your life and they are the ones who you should really worry about.
    reply 3 days