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Dear Dish-It, My Dad Beats Me and My Stepmom Doesn't Care


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

My dad hits me all the time with his belt and threatens to break my arms and stuff. He also says that I'm going to wish that I'm dead when he's done with me. My stepmom doesn't care, so she just sits there and watches. She snoops through my things and found this personal and private letter that I had written to my friend as a joke, but it never got sent. My dad is super mad about what I wrote in the letter and he is going to beat me till I pass out. What should I do if I don't want to call the police or child services?
loveistheway


Dear loveistheway,

I'm sorry to hear that things at home are so bad. I'm sure you could try staying over at a friend's house for awhile, but that won't solve your problems. I understand that you don't want to call the cops on your dad, but when a situation is as serious as yours, you can't keep it a secret cuz you're only continuing to put your life in danger. If your dad is being abusive and your stepmom isn't helping you out, you need to turn to someone who will put your best interests first. Is your real mom around to talk to? Can you go to her for help? Maybe she can make arrangements for you to stay with her from now on. But if she's not available, you should make an appointment right away to talk to your school counselor, or call an anonymous hotline like the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD. It's available 24 hours a day, so I suggest you call them ASAP to get local information on what you can do and where you can go for help. Take care and let me know how things turn out.


That is what you need to do. If he doesn't stop, call social services and they will put you in a better environment.
Username: Anonymous


I agree with Dish-It! When I first read this, it made me want to cry! You need to go to a family relative, a trusted friend, anyone that really cares about you and your safety. Call a hotline! Anyone that wants to help!
Username: Anonymous


I feel so sad for loveistheway! :-( please loveistheway, I want to wish you good luck because it happens to me sometimes too. Let's just hope God or Jesus is watching you! :-)
Username: Anonymous


If I were you, I would have called the CPS (Child Protective Services).
Username: Anonymous


I'm sorry to hear that, but you need to be strong and try to get out of this one way or another. And don't you have someone who you can trust to talk to?
Username: Anonymous


loveistheway! I grew up in a lifestyle similar to yours when I was younger. My dad is an alcoholic and my mom is a druggie. I was raised by my father, and I raised my brother by myself. In the past few years, I have moved in with my grandparents. Life couldn't be any greater! I have an amazing boyfriend. But as for your situation, all I can SAY is get out NOW!! Go stay with someone... or you should definitely call CPS! It sounds bad... but if your father really does scare you, it would be all worth the effort! I promise.
Username: Anonymous


I feel so bad for you. I'm 11 turning 12 and whenever I was at my real dad's house, he would beat me too. As a girl, it hurt a lot. Until i turned about six, I kept it a secret. I finally told my mom and what she told me was shocking... he was beating her too. So my mom took me and left him. Now I have a really cool stepdad. I think it's sad your stepmom doesn't do anything.
Username: rainbird2323


Girl, tell somebody your dad will hit you until you die. You can't be in this situation.
Username: Anonymous


Wow girl! Seriously, you NEED to call someone. I know you love your dad, but I am sure you also love yourself and yourself needs some help! And girl, don't feel guilty about calling for help, it will help you and your dad at the same time. Good luck girlfriend!
Username: Anonymous


I know what you mean. My stepdad is like that, but yeah you should call the police no matter how much it hurts. I did it and my stepdad is in full recovery and I am so happy.
Username: Anonymous


I really think you should call your old mom, but if your dad catches you, call the police THAT VERY SECOND!!!!
Username: Anonymous


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    labimba
    labimba posted in Style:
    Neko girl I have to get back in shape for September if u want we can be training buddies!  :)  
    reply 1 day
    animallover468
    animallover468 posted in Style:
    EndlessDream is right. Skipping breakfast and lunch can result in stomach ulcers and sudden weight gain (had personal experience...), ESPECIALLY skipping breakfast! You have to incorporate exercise in your daily routine. Stomach and body fat is mostly caused by lack of exercise, and maybe that means you need to do toning exercises. Try doing simple exercise videos like the 3-mile powerwalk on YouTube (trust me, I sweat like crazy when I do those workouts). Anything that gets you sweating, is the kind of exercise you need to do.  I hated working out when I first started my weight loss journey too. I would always start wheezing every time I started working out. But after pushing through everyday, I think working out is one of the best stress busters I've ever had!  If you want to lower your appetite though, I suggest eating a full lunch and breakfast and skipping your dinner. If you can't skip dinner, then at least try aiming for an early dinner, around 5:30 or 6:00. Your body needs time to digest at least 4 hours before you sleep. I started gaining weight around puberty when I was 12, it could be the same for you too.  But honestly, there's nothing wrong with having consciousness about your weight. Now starving yourself and dieting is BAD, but there's nothing wrong with changing your lifestyle in order to be fit. It's a good thing that kids start caring about their health, and the earlier you start, the better off you are. 
    reply 1 day
    EndlessDream
    EndlessDream posted in Style:
    You need breakfast and lunch. Starving yourself, even if you aren't hungry, makes you loose energy to the point you could pass out from not eating. Keep your diet healthy. For breakfast, at least have yogurt, fruit, and juice. Drink at least 4 full glasses of water a day. Trim down on the snacks. Everyone has different bodies and build. You may just be large-boned. And that's not bad! That makes you stronger and higher ability to gain muscle. Loosing weight doesn't happen over night. It can take months. 
    reply 2 days
    Nekogirl101
    Nekogirl101 posted in Style:
    For years my parents would tell me I'm skinny but compared to other people, my waist was bigger and I would always hide it. Though it was obvious I weighed more, I've only been doing this for a week and I didn't ever tell anyone what I was doing until my parents found out. I would skip lunch and breakfast and say I was full. I only ate a big dinner every night. Once my parents found out, they said it was unhealthy and if I didn't  stop, I would develop an eating disorder. I obviously listened to them, but I've tried as best as I can so far. I have barely lost any weight from exercise and my parents won't let me go on a diet because I already 'eat healthy enough'. I want to lose weight without exercising being 3/4s of my lifestyle. I know, I'm a lazy idiot for saying all this.
    reply 2 days
    rainbowpoptart
    Yes, purely for the fact that you should not "hate" your sister (or anyone, for that matter).  I'm guessing by "get in trouble for her", you mean she does something wrong and the blame is all put on you? Yeah, little siblings tend to do that a lot. My brother did for the longest time, until my parents found out how much a liar he is. She, hopefully, will grow out of this eventually. Either that, or your parent[s]/guardian[s] will eventually see through her. You lose your friends to her? By this do you mean your friends want to hang out with her and they want you to tag along and you don't? Or do you mean your friends chose your sister over you? If it's the latter, then perhaps you shouldn't have ever referred to those people as friends. You'll find friends who'll prefer you over your sister, I'm sure of it. The only thing I can tell you to do is try to get along with your sister. Every group of siblings has their cats and dogs moment in life, but they grow out of it (most of the time; there are, of course, circumstances where it doesn't work out that way). Please be grateful for your sister, even if you two fight a lot. You never know how much you need something until it's gone.
    reply 3 days