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Dear Dish-It, My Dad Beats Me and My Stepmom Doesn't Care


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

My dad hits me all the time with his belt and threatens to break my arms and stuff. He also says that I'm going to wish that I'm dead when he's done with me. My stepmom doesn't care, so she just sits there and watches. She snoops through my things and found this personal and private letter that I had written to my friend as a joke, but it never got sent. My dad is super mad about what I wrote in the letter and he is going to beat me till I pass out. What should I do if I don't want to call the police or child services?
loveistheway


Dear loveistheway,

I'm sorry to hear that things at home are so bad. I'm sure you could try staying over at a friend's house for awhile, but that won't solve your problems. I understand that you don't want to call the cops on your dad, but when a situation is as serious as yours, you can't keep it a secret cuz you're only continuing to put your life in danger. If your dad is being abusive and your stepmom isn't helping you out, you need to turn to someone who will put your best interests first. Is your real mom around to talk to? Can you go to her for help? Maybe she can make arrangements for you to stay with her from now on. But if she's not available, you should make an appointment right away to talk to your school counselor, or call an anonymous hotline like the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD. It's available 24 hours a day, so I suggest you call them ASAP to get local information on what you can do and where you can go for help. Take care and let me know how things turn out.


That is what you need to do. If he doesn't stop, call social services and they will put you in a better environment.
Username: Anonymous


I agree with Dish-It! When I first read this, it made me want to cry! You need to go to a family relative, a trusted friend, anyone that really cares about you and your safety. Call a hotline! Anyone that wants to help!
Username: Anonymous


I feel so sad for loveistheway! :-( please loveistheway, I want to wish you good luck because it happens to me sometimes too. Let's just hope God or Jesus is watching you! :-)
Username: Anonymous


If I were you, I would have called the CPS (Child Protective Services).
Username: Anonymous


I'm sorry to hear that, but you need to be strong and try to get out of this one way or another. And don't you have someone who you can trust to talk to?
Username: Anonymous


loveistheway! I grew up in a lifestyle similar to yours when I was younger. My dad is an alcoholic and my mom is a druggie. I was raised by my father, and I raised my brother by myself. In the past few years, I have moved in with my grandparents. Life couldn't be any greater! I have an amazing boyfriend. But as for your situation, all I can SAY is get out NOW!! Go stay with someone... or you should definitely call CPS! It sounds bad... but if your father really does scare you, it would be all worth the effort! I promise.
Username: Anonymous


I feel so bad for you. I'm 11 turning 12 and whenever I was at my real dad's house, he would beat me too. As a girl, it hurt a lot. Until i turned about six, I kept it a secret. I finally told my mom and what she told me was shocking... he was beating her too. So my mom took me and left him. Now I have a really cool stepdad. I think it's sad your stepmom doesn't do anything.
Username: rainbird2323


Girl, tell somebody your dad will hit you until you die. You can't be in this situation.
Username: Anonymous


Wow girl! Seriously, you NEED to call someone. I know you love your dad, but I am sure you also love yourself and yourself needs some help! And girl, don't feel guilty about calling for help, it will help you and your dad at the same time. Good luck girlfriend!
Username: Anonymous


I know what you mean. My stepdad is like that, but yeah you should call the police no matter how much it hurts. I did it and my stepdad is in full recovery and I am so happy.
Username: Anonymous


I really think you should call your old mom, but if your dad catches you, call the police THAT VERY SECOND!!!!
Username: Anonymous


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    AlphaT
    AlphaT posted in Family Issues:
    "Sabbie_luv" wrote:I hate when people say suicide is selfish. The people who say that its selfish don't realize how much it hurts. I mean, my life is horrible! I feel like I am getting an anxiety attack everytime someone tries to talk to me (i have not been diagnosed with social anxiety)! They don't know how bad it is. People say that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Well, suicide is the light at the end. I have attempted suicide twice but I always chicken out. I need someone to kill me. Please. As someone who has friends who were suicidal, and having been suicidal at one point in my life, It's the other way around. The people who are suicidal don't often realize how selfish taking their own life will be, because of the suffering they're experiencing. More directly to your case, though, anxiety causes control-seeking behavior. The taking of ones' own life can be seen as a way to escape the feelings which hurt us, and so we seek to control the situiation by taking ourselves out of the equation. It's like someone who falls ill when they get anxious at school.They know that falling ill will get them out of school, so someone who is anxious can actually have a physical illness as a result of wanting to escape the situation which makes them feel that way. Suicide works a lot in the same way, it's just that instead of getting out of school, we're getting out of life.  The only difference is that the person who gets out of school gets to experience that relief of the anxiety going away, the return of normal breathing as they're able to finally clam down their body and their mind. They start to feel comfortable again. Someone who commits suicide gets none of this, as they'll never again feel anything. There's no possibility of that feeling of relief, there's no longer a person.  In my view, feeling nothing at all is worse than feeling pain. At least when you can feel, you have a chance of feeling better. Life is too, well, lively...especially in such a time like this. I mean, they're making phones which could make their own power for goodness sakes!
    reply 22 minutes
    Hoellu
    Hoellu posted in Family Issues:
    Yup.. Pretty agreeBut we don't know If he has already died..! :/I know someone who are going to kill himself bcs of me.. /o\ It's not necesary telling why.  No matter. I'm just trying to stop him..  It's so difficult with so much stress..! /o\"I just know that dieing is not the solution., bcs he is not going to get his objetive anyways.... Conclusion: If something is breaking your life.. Change it!  It doesn't have to be the end!
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