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When Can I?

Dr. Janet Taylor

Sex

I've received a ton of letters from members asking when is the right age to have sex? Well, quite honestly I have been thinking a lot about that question. I look at in two ways. The first is this: maybe you aren't aware but it against the law for a minor (someone between age 12 and 16) to have sexual contact. Bet you didn't know that, huh? So if you are younger than 16, there you go. It's not legal.

Now, here's another way to look at the question. That is, how do I know that I'm NOT ready to be involved in a sexual relationship? Here's a quick checklist for you.

I Am NOT Ready For A Sexual Relationship If:

I don't pay rent.

I don't have a real job.

I don't have my own health insurance.

I haven't graduated from high school.

It is against my religious beliefs.

I don't have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend.

I am not informed about my own health or birth control options/practices.

I haven't talked to my mother or an adult about how I feel.

I am not prepared for the consequences of getting pregnant, getting a sexually transmitted disease or raising a child.

I am feeling pressured into doing it.

If you answered yes to any of the above, you need to back up and really stop and think. I know it's confusing when you like someone, but you're not sure how to show them. Having sex with them isn't the best way to show your feelings. Sex complicates things and it doesn't teach you what having a loving, respectful, relationship is all about.

Don't get fooled by the videos and your friends talkin' - cuz talk is cheap. You are not. Your body is a temple. It is up to you to make the right decisions about it. AIDS, other diseases and babies are all serious stuff that they don't put in videos. Don't be in such a rush to grow up. Now is your time to learn as much as you can in school, get hip to yourself and support people around you.

There will be plenty of time for fun and games. You can have tons of fun without slacking away from your values and goals. So the answer to the question "When can I?" is not right now. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Don't let anyone push you around.