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When Can I?

I've received a ton of letters from members asking when is the right age to have sex? Well, quite honestly I have been thinking a lot about that question. I look at in two ways. The first is this: maybe you aren't aware but it against the law for a minor (someone between age 12 and 16) to have sexual contact. Bet you didn't know that, huh? So if you are younger than 16, there you go. It's not legal.

Now, here's another way to look at the question. That is, how do I know that I'm NOT ready to be involved in a sexual relationship? Here's a quick checklist for you.

I Am NOT Ready For A Sexual Relationship If:

  • I don't pay rent.
  • I don't have a real job.
  • I don't have my own health insurance.
  • I haven't graduated from high school.
  • It is against my religious beliefs.
  • I don't have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • I am not informed about my own health or birth control options/practices.
  • I haven't talked to my mother or an adult about how I feel.
  • I am not prepared for the consequences of getting pregnant, getting a sexually transmitted disease or raising a child.
  • I am feeling pressured into doing it.

If you answered yes to any of the above, you need to back up and really stop and think. I know it's confusing when you like someone, but you're not sure how to show them. Having sex with them isn't the best way to show your feelings. Sex complicates things and it doesn't teach you what having a loving, respectful, relationship is all about.

Don't get fooled by the videos and your friends talkin' - cuz talk is cheap. You are not. Your body is a temple. It is up to you to make the right decisions about it. AIDS, other diseases and babies are all serious stuff that they don't put in videos. Don't be in such a rush to grow up. Now is your time to learn as much as you can in school, get hip to yourself and support people around you.

There will be plenty of time for fun and games. You can have tons of fun without slacking away from your values and goals. So the answer to the question "When can I?" is not right now. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Don't let anyone push you around.

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When Is the Right Time to Have Sex?

  • When you are married.
  • When you know you're definitely in love.
  • Not until you are no longer a teenager.
  • I'm not sure.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

AimeeJury
AimeeJury posted in Style:
i'm ginger sadly i had brown hair when i was born though
reply about 10 hours
6thBeatle
6thBeatle posted in Style:
Black. I'm a Filipino.
reply about 11 hours
6thBeatle
Don't worry too, you'll grow up too and live on your own, I noticed that my aunt is unfair to children (except to her child) and I can't wait to be an adult (she's afraid to adults). And when you grow up, don't make revenge to your parents, I know that you still love them. Trust me, things would get worse if you make revenge.
reply about 11 hours
6thBeatle
I understand you, but those things are worse than my experience. I am a very lonely nerd and I don't have friends. When my mom goes to work she leaves me with my unfair aunt. My aunt is so unfair, she always blames me and ignores my explanations, she always defends my 5 year old cousin even though she's wrong. She's so unfair I wanted to drink bleach or hang myself but I realized that there are more people who love me. When I was months old or maybe 1 year old my dad broke up with my mom because our family doesn't like him because he hurts my mom physically, called my grandpa a liar even though my dad knows how honest he is, and he always blamed things on me when I was a baby. I met him a month ago (maybe), and we were supposed to talk about important thing like if why he left me and other stuff like that, but instead he boasted about being the best pilot in the airport, he did nothing but boast. I never want to meet him again. My problem with my mom is that she hurts me horribly like jumping on my back, and she says hurtful things like she wanted me to die and that she loves her boyfriend (who is a jerk) more than me. I have to admit, I'm the one who started the mess, but that's no way to discipline your child. I apologized to her, but she is still pulling my hair. After we relaxed for about 40 minutes, she apologized. That's it, but my mom is really hard working and is very patient to me (but when it's too much, she gets crazy). There's always a good side of someone. I hope that there are more of your relatives and friends who love you, my advice is to write a letter to your parents, and if it didn't work well, you could always talk to the guidance in your school or your teacher, that's the only one I could think of.
reply about 11 hours
QveenAvi
QveenAvi posted in Family Issues:
The way they are doing it is wrong,however it sounds like your parents really love you and really want the best for you. they have faith in you. when you get a 3 if they know that you can get a 4 so they address you want it. not that they don't love you.Your parents were the ones who raised you and introduced you to this life so you should always respect them and think them as your god.
reply about 21 hours