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When Can I?

I've received a ton of letters from members asking when is the right age to have sex? Well, quite honestly I have been thinking a lot about that question. I look at in two ways. The first is this: maybe you aren't aware but it against the law for a minor (someone between age 12 and 16) to have sexual contact. Bet you didn't know that, huh? So if you are younger than 16, there you go. It's not legal.

Now, here's another way to look at the question. That is, how do I know that I'm NOT ready to be involved in a sexual relationship? Here's a quick checklist for you.

I Am NOT Ready For A Sexual Relationship If:

  • I don't pay rent.
  • I don't have a real job.
  • I don't have my own health insurance.
  • I haven't graduated from high school.
  • It is against my religious beliefs.
  • I don't have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • I am not informed about my own health or birth control options/practices.
  • I haven't talked to my mother or an adult about how I feel.
  • I am not prepared for the consequences of getting pregnant, getting a sexually transmitted disease or raising a child.
  • I am feeling pressured into doing it.

If you answered yes to any of the above, you need to back up and really stop and think. I know it's confusing when you like someone, but you're not sure how to show them. Having sex with them isn't the best way to show your feelings. Sex complicates things and it doesn't teach you what having a loving, respectful, relationship is all about.

Don't get fooled by the videos and your friends talkin' - cuz talk is cheap. You are not. Your body is a temple. It is up to you to make the right decisions about it. AIDS, other diseases and babies are all serious stuff that they don't put in videos. Don't be in such a rush to grow up. Now is your time to learn as much as you can in school, get hip to yourself and support people around you.

There will be plenty of time for fun and games. You can have tons of fun without slacking away from your values and goals. So the answer to the question "When can I?" is not right now. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Don't let anyone push you around.

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When Is the Right Time to Have Sex?

  • When you are married.
  • When you know you're definitely in love.
  • Not until you are no longer a teenager.
  • I'm not sure.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

CoolAsalah
my grandma passed away 2 months ago. I cant stop crying. i miss her so badl.everything reminds me of her.she was so sweet ad loving. how can i stop crying/thinking about her??
reply 1 day
AVENGERSASSEMBLE
I hardly ever get to see my bff anymore and she lives less than 5 mins up the road :( :( :(
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guppiGirl443
 [s:p/1s1e] :thumbsup :angel Hey people its lssy, i have been struggling with helping my best friends with there parents that are violently fitting and where just lost and so confused . im trying so hard to keep up everybody's mood up .i just want them to be positive even though its hard i want them to realize that there are pros and cons to this . so all people out there maybe going through things like this just know there are a billion kids like u out there so when we grow up lets be nothing like our parents, lets be there better version, lets be our better version.! PS: what are somethings i can do to help them out????
reply 3 days
orlibird
I totally feel the same way. The one guy I thought was interested friend-zoned me, so I've been kind of closed to relationships. One thing I've learned is not to jump into a relationship just because everyone else is. Just think, in 20 years they'll have all these bad memories of their many relationships, and you'll learn from their mistakes. Wanting to be in a relationship doesn't make you desperate either. You just feel a little left out. Trust me, I've been there. Don't feel alone. Being single, well, sucks, but don't worry, we've got your back, and I just know there's someone out there waiting to meet you.
reply 4 days
orlibird
orlibird posted in Family Issues:
Hi everyone! I'm starting at a new school next year and I'm wondering if you have any tips. The thing is, it's my first ever year at a public school. I'm joining the 8th grade, so I'm so scared that everyone already knows eachother and I won't make any friends... :( If you have ANY advice or tips, I'd really appreciate it!
reply 4 days