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When Can I?

I've received a ton of letters from members asking when is the right age to have sex? Well, quite honestly I have been thinking a lot about that question. I look at in two ways. The first is this: maybe you aren't aware but it against the law for a minor (someone between age 12 and 16) to have sexual contact. Bet you didn't know that, huh? So if you are younger than 16, there you go. It's not legal.

Now, here's another way to look at the question. That is, how do I know that I'm NOT ready to be involved in a sexual relationship? Here's a quick checklist for you.

I Am NOT Ready For A Sexual Relationship If:

  • I don't pay rent.
  • I don't have a real job.
  • I don't have my own health insurance.
  • I haven't graduated from high school.
  • It is against my religious beliefs.
  • I don't have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • I am not informed about my own health or birth control options/practices.
  • I haven't talked to my mother or an adult about how I feel.
  • I am not prepared for the consequences of getting pregnant, getting a sexually transmitted disease or raising a child.
  • I am feeling pressured into doing it.

If you answered yes to any of the above, you need to back up and really stop and think. I know it's confusing when you like someone, but you're not sure how to show them. Having sex with them isn't the best way to show your feelings. Sex complicates things and it doesn't teach you what having a loving, respectful, relationship is all about.

Don't get fooled by the videos and your friends talkin' - cuz talk is cheap. You are not. Your body is a temple. It is up to you to make the right decisions about it. AIDS, other diseases and babies are all serious stuff that they don't put in videos. Don't be in such a rush to grow up. Now is your time to learn as much as you can in school, get hip to yourself and support people around you.

There will be plenty of time for fun and games. You can have tons of fun without slacking away from your values and goals. So the answer to the question "When can I?" is not right now. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Don't let anyone push you around.

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When Is the Right Time to Have Sex?

  • When you are married.
  • When you know you're definitely in love.
  • Not until you are no longer a teenager.
  • I'm not sure.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
This is a really weird situation... Maybe she's feeling sorry for you?
reply 1 day
AnneS12
AnneS12 posted in Family Issues:
Well That is your choice who you want to stay with.Nobody can force you about it.When your parents see a family<a data-cke-saved-href=" lawyer, then he will ask you whom do you want to stay with and jury will decide.So dont worry .
reply 2 days
worldqweencc
worldqweencc posted in Friends:
I'm not quiet sure what's a real friend and what's a fake one anymore. I know when there's a friend who's only a school friend rather than an 'outside' friend as well, but at the same time it makes me so confused. Here's my story: There's a girl named Xian. We had a unique way of becoming friends ... but it clicked. For the whole year I've been trying to keep in contact with her ... but she's not very willing to try and put in any effort to stay in contact with me. Her personality is beyond sweet, and her skills at art are even better. If she was to have an award, it would be a giant trophy with her face plastered on it and big bold letters listing 'Nicest Girl In The World!' ... Its just ... she lied to me.  I was all about this friendship. I was ... i'll admit ... sort of a lost puppy following around her owner.  So, I got her this T-Shirt she really wanted for her birthday, and not long her birthday was mine, April First. I was expecting at least a letter, or maybe even something cheap. It didn't really matter to me.  But on my birthday she didn't even come to school. Nor when she got back did she ever say sorry, or give me any be-lated gift of any sort.  That should have been my first clue. Even my mother started catching on. My second clue was she even told me she was oblivious and wasn't good at keeping in contact. I thought she was joking. How could a friendship so sweet be tossed out just like that? My third one was near the end of school, one of her friends in elementary was bragging about the plushies she got from Xian. Apparently she had four from her.  Xian had originally told me it was AGAINST her religion to give out gifts to other people. I knew she wasn't lying about her religion in general, because I met her mom on a field trip and she was quiet ... different. But I didn't understand why Xian had gotten so many small plushies for her, and yet not a single small stamp for me? My last clue was the last day of school. She didn't even try to say good-bye or even hang out with me for that matter. I know what you're thinking. "Girl, you've gotta be kidding me if you can't see that she has no intention of being your friend!" But this girl was the nicest to me. She stood next to me during harsh times, and comforted me when I was down. She told me I was important.  And you don't get many friends to do those special things to you. It was rare to have a friend make me feel so tall and worthy.  ... So ... I can't understand ... why'd she do all that .... and suddenly ... just ... walk away ...
reply 3 days
catsandpizza
catsandpizza posted in Style:
American Apparel croptop, Juicy Couture velvet sweatpants and Uggs
reply 3 days
Heyyyyy_
Heyyyyy_ posted in Friends:
"donteatcarrots" wrote:I dunno, looks like something more than being friends is going on here. It's probably best to ask her face-to-face though, before jumping to conclusions. ^^^
reply 3 days

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