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When Can I?

I've received a ton of letters from members asking when is the right age to have sex? Well, quite honestly I have been thinking a lot about that question. I look at in two ways. The first is this: maybe you aren't aware but it against the law for a minor (someone between age 12 and 16) to have sexual contact. Bet you didn't know that, huh? So if you are younger than 16, there you go. It's not legal.

Now, here's another way to look at the question. That is, how do I know that I'm NOT ready to be involved in a sexual relationship? Here's a quick checklist for you.

I Am NOT Ready For A Sexual Relationship If:

  • I don't pay rent.
  • I don't have a real job.
  • I don't have my own health insurance.
  • I haven't graduated from high school.
  • It is against my religious beliefs.
  • I don't have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • I am not informed about my own health or birth control options/practices.
  • I haven't talked to my mother or an adult about how I feel.
  • I am not prepared for the consequences of getting pregnant, getting a sexually transmitted disease or raising a child.
  • I am feeling pressured into doing it.

If you answered yes to any of the above, you need to back up and really stop and think. I know it's confusing when you like someone, but you're not sure how to show them. Having sex with them isn't the best way to show your feelings. Sex complicates things and it doesn't teach you what having a loving, respectful, relationship is all about.

Don't get fooled by the videos and your friends talkin' - cuz talk is cheap. You are not. Your body is a temple. It is up to you to make the right decisions about it. AIDS, other diseases and babies are all serious stuff that they don't put in videos. Don't be in such a rush to grow up. Now is your time to learn as much as you can in school, get hip to yourself and support people around you.

There will be plenty of time for fun and games. You can have tons of fun without slacking away from your values and goals. So the answer to the question "When can I?" is not right now. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Don't let anyone push you around.

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When Is the Right Time to Have Sex?

  • When you are married.
  • When you know you're definitely in love.
  • Not until you are no longer a teenager.
  • I'm not sure.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

CoolerThanMyself
I'm a 12 year old girl with really strict parents! I do chores( even handling BLEACH sometimes) , I take care of my little brother, I'm in top set for all my classes- even on the gifted and talented register and I've only ever had 1 detention- and that was their fault anyway bc I was late( they drive). But, I'm still NEVER allowed out with my friends! My friends are all in top sets as well, are well behaved and all we literally would do is window shopping. I mean, there are my age smoking shisha and doing #####- they should be lucky I'm not a delinquent! But my parents always say I can't hang out. Not because they're worried about my safety, they just dont want me to go out.! Even sleepovers, my parents always say no because they ' haven't met the parents" but they make NO effort to do so. I'm losing out on knowing my friends better and whilst they're all making best friends, at school I'm just the person in the background- the left out friend. It hurts and most of the time I wish I was fostered or something. How can I make them loosen up? ( don't say anything about sneaking out because I chose life)
reply 1 day
Corps
Corps posted in Style:
Thank You Mate :)
reply 1 day
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Is there a particular reason or situation causing you to feel this way? I can't provide much advice other than talk to them about it. Communication is important.
reply 2 days
Arenl
Arenl posted in Friends:
He is a jerk, but then what ?? He is your best friend . Maybe you should tell him to sleep for an extra hour. It may be a lack of sleep.
reply 2 days
KittyCheshire
KittyCheshire posted in Friends:
My BFFEL (best friend for eternal life) is being a jerk after we have been friends for a long time. What should I do?
reply 2 days