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When Can I?

I've received a ton of letters from members asking when is the right age to have sex? Well, quite honestly I have been thinking a lot about that question. I look at in two ways. The first is this: maybe you aren't aware but it against the law for a minor (someone between age 12 and 16) to have sexual contact. Bet you didn't know that, huh? So if you are younger than 16, there you go. It's not legal.

Now, here's another way to look at the question. That is, how do I know that I'm NOT ready to be involved in a sexual relationship? Here's a quick checklist for you.

I Am NOT Ready For A Sexual Relationship If:

  • I don't pay rent.
  • I don't have a real job.
  • I don't have my own health insurance.
  • I haven't graduated from high school.
  • It is against my religious beliefs.
  • I don't have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • I am not informed about my own health or birth control options/practices.
  • I haven't talked to my mother or an adult about how I feel.
  • I am not prepared for the consequences of getting pregnant, getting a sexually transmitted disease or raising a child.
  • I am feeling pressured into doing it.

If you answered yes to any of the above, you need to back up and really stop and think. I know it's confusing when you like someone, but you're not sure how to show them. Having sex with them isn't the best way to show your feelings. Sex complicates things and it doesn't teach you what having a loving, respectful, relationship is all about.

Don't get fooled by the videos and your friends talkin' - cuz talk is cheap. You are not. Your body is a temple. It is up to you to make the right decisions about it. AIDS, other diseases and babies are all serious stuff that they don't put in videos. Don't be in such a rush to grow up. Now is your time to learn as much as you can in school, get hip to yourself and support people around you.

There will be plenty of time for fun and games. You can have tons of fun without slacking away from your values and goals. So the answer to the question "When can I?" is not right now. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Don't let anyone push you around.

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When Is the Right Time to Have Sex?

  • When you are married.
  • When you know you're definitely in love.
  • Not until you are no longer a teenager.
  • I'm not sure.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

ThePaleWalker636
So, my brother is kind of a jerk. I won't go into details about him, but now my mom has officially given up on him. She no longer gives him rules or punishes him as long as he isn't interfering with anyone else in my family. Now, it's entirely on my dad's shoulders to make sure he even goes to bed at all. I don't know how I could help, but I'm worried about what will become of my brother when he gets older. He's mean to me, but I really care about him, and I don't want him on the streets. Is there even anything I could do?
reply about 2 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
"classicalmusicisepic" wrote: "SmartSunnyShadow" wrote: Hello everybody! Please help me! So I am in grade 6, and I have none of my best friends in my class. It sucks so bad, and when I first came I had no friends either.  Now, though I'm over that and I have made some new "friends." They are really nice and helpful to me, well at least I thought. I think they are just like that because I'm smart. So I made 4 friends.  I'll give their fake names; Camila, Socccer Gal,Bubbly Princess, Harry Potter Fan123, and Shy Flower. So, today I got an A+, and Harry Potter Fan123 got an A++ since she did extra bonuses that I had no idea about. Whatever, I'm over that.  HERE IS THE REAL PROBLEM! So I have a guy in my class that I hate like hell, and my friends Camila, Soccer Gal, and Bubbly Princess told him that I  like him, and I was like EWWWWWWWWWW!!! Well then I blew out and made a racist comment that I am so sad about and my friends were like crazy! I have no idea what to do. Then, my friends started bullying me, and I was like so shocked, I told them to shut up. WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!?!?!   what you're going through right now is actually a part of life, and I think a lot of people have been in similar situations, including myself. everyone is actually bound to come across fake friends in their life, and sometimes it gets quite difficult to manage. if you've said something particularly offensive, I would probably say sorry. I mean, at least you have your original best friends? If they're caring and supportive, they'll try and help you as much as they possibly can. But if you feel like you're not being cared about by these girls in your class, and if you feel inferior to them, I would try to drift away, they're nothing but bad energy for you. I hope I've helped in some way. Good luck! Yes, it's very lonely in my class without any close friends. I am going to say sorry, and thanks a lot! You've helped me a bunch! 
reply about 2 hours
classicalmusicisepic
"SmartSunnyShadow" wrote:Hello everybody! Please help me!So I am in grade 6, and I have none of my best friends in my class. It sucks so bad, and when I first came I had no friends either.  Now, though I'm over that and I have made some new "friends." They are really nice and helpful to me, well at least I thought. I think they are just like that because I'm smart. So I made 4 friends.  I'll give their fake names; Camila, Socccer Gal,Bubbly Princess, Harry Potter Fan123, and Shy Flower. So, today I got an A+, and Harry Potter Fan123 got an A++ since she did extra bonuses that I had no idea about. Whatever, I'm over that.  HERE IS THE REAL PROBLEM!So I have a guy in my class that I hate like hell, and my friends Camila, Soccer Gal, and Bubbly Princess told him that I  like him, and I was like EWWWWWWWWWW!!! Well then I blew out and made a racist comment that I am so sad about and my friends were like crazy! I have no idea what to do. Then, my friends started bullying me, and I was like so shocked, I told them to shut up. WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!?!?! what you're going through right now is actually a part of life, and I think a lot of people have been in similar situations, including myself. everyone is actually bound to come across fake friends in their life, and sometimes it gets quite difficult to manage. if you've said something particularly offensive, I would probably say sorry. I mean, at least you have your original best friends? If they're caring and supportive, they'll try and help you as much as they possibly can. But if you feel like you're not being cared about by these girls in your class, and if you feel inferior to them, I would try to drift away, they're nothing but bad energy for you. I hope I've helped in some way. Good luck!
reply about 2 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
"-Oracle-" wrote: "SmartSunnyShadow" wrote: Okay, thanks but will anyone else help me???  If they're as good friends as you're making them out to be then I'm sure they'll forgive and forget. Try not to over think the situation. Okay, thank you so much! 
reply about 2 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
"AnnaOfExquizurd" wrote:In the part where you said they started bullying you... what were some of the things they specifically said?If they were just calling you insensitive or racist, tell them it was an accident. You can apologize about the racist comment. If you show you really are sad about it, they'll know you mean it.I hope everything goes well and gets better ^-^ Thank you! They were bullying me about how I was so stupid and how no one liked me. I shall apologize, thank you again! 
reply about 2 hours