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Dealing with a Tragic Death

Everyone is talking about the tragic death of singer and actress Aaliyah. Her recent death in a plane crash is really sad. Even if you didn't follow her career or know the words to her songs, her beauty and maturity really caught your breath.

There is also the sting when someone young dies, because in that instant life breaks down from freedom to finality. To be able to live and breathe is a freedom and a gift that we all take too lightly. The finality of death may leave you overwhelmed and hopeless.

When something unexpectedly tragic happens it really can catch you off guard. You may question the value of your own life, or wonder how someone deserved what they got. You may think what's up with God if you believe or may not if you don't. But understand that tragic events that you see, read or hear about can affect you and how you feel.

First you may be in denial. Words like "I can't believe this is happening" may reply over and over in your mind. It's as if you're dreaming and can't wake up. You might find yourself talking over and over about what happened. Don't worry - that's natural.

Secondly, you may be angry. You may blame other people or yourself. Anger too is a natural stage that can be worked through.

Thirdly, you may try to make a deal or bargain. You know ya tell yourself "If I'm good so-and-so will happen." You may pray and say that you'll start going to church if this comes through...

Fourth, you may feel really sad or depressed. It may be hard for you to sleep or eat; you may feel hopeless and want to be alone. Everything that you do may be a bad reminder.

The last stage is acceptance. Acceptance doesn't mean that you are glad that someone died, but you are able to move on. In time you will come to terms with the fact that your life will go on without this person. Time heals everything.

We learn about ourselves and other people from what we experience. It's not all good. Take the time to talk to your buds about how they feel about Aaliyah or maybe someone else who has passed on. You can support each other and at the same time feel better.

Aaliyah is gone but will not be forgotten. Think about your own life and what contribution you make to people living around you. You don't have to be famous to make a difference to yourself, your family and your community. Live your life standing for something!

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astucieuse331
astucieuse331 posted in Friends:
I've always felt the same way. My one best friend gossiped behind my back, used me, all that girl stuff. She took me for advantage and we had a bunch of fights because of her finding a new friend and completely acting as if I didn't exist, and I told her to give me at least some attention every once in a while if she can't even continue to talk to me daily. And.. I lost her. Well, she lost me. We both lost each other. But then I realized.. it's the people that you least expect to be nice to you you'll find kindness in. Why? Based on personal experience, and I'll tell you the story: For my gym class, me and my peers were supposed to make a group for a dance. This was when my best friend had found a new friend already, and the time at which we had a few fights because of that. Of course, I relied on my best friend to count me in her dance group. At lunchtime, I sat together with my best friend, and we ate our lunches in silence. All of a sudden, I brought up the dance groups and asked her straightforwardly: "Can I join your group?" No reply. "Kelly, can I join your group?" No reply. "I mean, since our class is uneven, I found it fair that there'd be a group of five, you know?" None at all. Kelly ignored me straight off the bat, leaving me speechless. My mind raced with thoughts, and I thought, maybe it's not worth having Kelly as a friend. A few days later, we were playing Dodgeball for gym. I was on Kelly's team, and overheard her talking with her new friends about who to pick for the dance group. One of her friends mentioned me, and Kelly said: "Oh no, we shouldn't pick her because _____ (I don't know what she said then)." I was shocked, but was anticipating it, so when the time came to choose groups, I saw my friend, Luke, ask two girls, Cher and Bridgette, to join their group. Surprisingly, Cher and Bridgette actually accepted him, and so I thought, "Wow, if they accepted Luke, they might accept me aswell!" and so built up the courage to ask them if I could join. Even though Cher and Bridgette were mean to me sometimes, I knew that I had to risk it and see what'd happen. Afterall, rejection is just another opportunity to find a better group. Little did I know, it'd be the best choice of my life. They were so happy, and even thanked me for joining them! I was speechless once more; I never knew that the peers that I thought I would never be friends with would actually be my friends!  So yeah, that's what I learnt, and I never regretted learning that fact. Ever since then, though, I've learnt not to trust people as much as I used to anymore. I learnt that independency is what works for me, what I was meant for in terms of socializing or working. But, other things may work for you. If you still want a friend, you can be independent and wait for the right person. However, if you still want a real friend, you can wait, but still mingle (hang out) with other people! I I'm not going to make fun of you because I know how you've felt, just as I stated in my past problem before. But you can move on from those friends, they're not worth your time and certainly don't deserve you as a friend. Trust me, if it's meant to be, you'll definitely find a true friend. But if it's not, you may become like me, finding happiness in my own way. I want to remind you though-- you don't need someone to stay happy, or keep you company. This may sound silly, but you can even have your own invisible friends! I've had one, but that's very rarely for me. It's not silly though if you see the general idea; usually these friends are made from different dimensions of your personality or just because of will. There's a lot more fish in the sea, though, so I'm sure you'll find a true friend that's meant for you  :) Take care, and I hope you'll find a true friend soon!
reply about 6 hours
ts01
ts01 posted in Friends:
im so sorry you girls feel that way.true friends are there, its just easier to find users because they are more plentiful. dont give up, you will find real friends eventually
reply about 7 hours
lolflowergirl
lolflowergirl posted in Friends:
i feel alone too
reply about 9 hours
kayme123
kayme123 posted in Friends:
i know the feeling. but i got taken off a website instead of my friends. i can assure you they probably feel the same and are missing you, BUT its not worth dwelling over it. friends come and go without any choice in life and trust me, i lost the love of my life and my two of the best friends in the world. The thing is, you have to move on, because they wouldent want you feeling sad over them right? they'd want you to be the happy person you were when you were with them! for starters, i'll be your friend so your not scared to make some new ones. To be honest, i went through the exact same thing as you did and it DOES hurt very bad. But once you find some people that are willing to make you feel better, you know you've chosen the right friends again
reply about 18 hours
Irene_love
Irene_love posted in Style:
"1.am.3m0" wrote:Hey. Im also turning 15 soon. So dont worry you arent alone hahah. Start dressing for your shape and also find whats comfortable.  Because if you wear something that is uncomfortable you wont be happy and happiness is the best look :) Most of the time I wear jeans with a graphic tshirt or singlet and a cardigan or light jacket. Hoodies are great for winter. And I wear combat boots like doc martins and converse. Hope I helped somehow! :)
reply about 19 hours

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