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Dealing with a Tragic Death

Everyone is talking about the tragic death of singer and actress Aaliyah. Her recent death in a plane crash is really sad. Even if you didn't follow her career or know the words to her songs, her beauty and maturity really caught your breath.

There is also the sting when someone young dies, because in that instant life breaks down from freedom to finality. To be able to live and breathe is a freedom and a gift that we all take too lightly. The finality of death may leave you overwhelmed and hopeless.

When something unexpectedly tragic happens it really can catch you off guard. You may question the value of your own life, or wonder how someone deserved what they got. You may think what's up with God if you believe or may not if you don't. But understand that tragic events that you see, read or hear about can affect you and how you feel.

First you may be in denial. Words like "I can't believe this is happening" may reply over and over in your mind. It's as if you're dreaming and can't wake up. You might find yourself talking over and over about what happened. Don't worry - that's natural.

Secondly, you may be angry. You may blame other people or yourself. Anger too is a natural stage that can be worked through.

Thirdly, you may try to make a deal or bargain. You know ya tell yourself "If I'm good so-and-so will happen." You may pray and say that you'll start going to church if this comes through...

Fourth, you may feel really sad or depressed. It may be hard for you to sleep or eat; you may feel hopeless and want to be alone. Everything that you do may be a bad reminder.

The last stage is acceptance. Acceptance doesn't mean that you are glad that someone died, but you are able to move on. In time you will come to terms with the fact that your life will go on without this person. Time heals everything.

We learn about ourselves and other people from what we experience. It's not all good. Take the time to talk to your buds about how they feel about Aaliyah or maybe someone else who has passed on. You can support each other and at the same time feel better.

Aaliyah is gone but will not be forgotten. Think about your own life and what contribution you make to people living around you. You don't have to be famous to make a difference to yourself, your family and your community. Live your life standing for something!

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What to Do with Your Body After Death?

  • I want my ashes sprinkled somewhere special.
  • I want to be buried with loving words on my tombstone.
  • I'd love to be buried in a pyramid.
  • I'd like to be put in beautiful mausoleum.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

PuppyLover242
Hmm, okay! Its just that I Love all this new modern things, cute things, chibi stuff, anime pics... and no one else agrees with me? I am like the black sheep or something?
reply about 1 hour
Autonomy
Autonomy posted in Family Issues:
"StarrChild" wrote: Two years ago my parents broke up. I was never really the same after that point. My mother she began to just not care about anything. She would go out clubbing every Friday and would yell at me for my attitude towards it. Why would I be okay with her doing that??? I didn't really realise it but I began feeling kind of depressed. Of course we didn't fight all the time but when we did I would always end up crying alone in my room. And it would be really painful. One time I cried every night for a week because of her. A week ago, I felt really sick at school so I went to the sick bay but my Mum refused to believe I was sick. She thought I was lying and being over dramatic as usual. I felt really horrible after that, that the teacher sent me to the guidance councellor and almost immediately I burst into tears. I didn't even know why I did but the councellor did a little test on me and came to the conclusion I was slightly depressed and had anxiety. It wasn't really surprising but hearing it out loud just felt really weird. Even after knowing that fact my mother doesn't really act any different. She's not a bad person I swear but she can just be really horrible at times. Anyways, that's technically whats been happening in my life lol. Nothing really interesting Oh dear, that sounds like a dreadful situation. I've lived through similar difficulties in my own life, and my heart goes out to you, truly. May I offer you some advice? I don't have the cure to your problems or a magic wand that can make them disappear, but I do believe that some good can come out of your living situation. The first thing I'd like to make note of, is that everyone makes mistakes. As human beings, we have to make mistakes. There's no way around it; it's how we learn and grow. And as we get older, we don't stop making mistakes. Your parents are no exception. Although we look to our parents for guidance, and direction, and support, we have to understand that they aren't perfect people, and they make mistakes. They may not always lead us in the right direction. They may not always set a good example. They may not always be there for us, to encourage us and support us when we need them most. And that's okay. Everyone makes mistakes, and we have to accept that. But we can't let allow other people's mistakes to hurt us, my dear. And I know it hurts. Your mum might not understand how her actions make you feel. You said you haven't been the same since your parents divorced, and I know how challenging that can be to go through. But you know, some of the brightest, wisest, and happiest people I've met, are people who have dealt with difficult problems in their lives, and used them to grow as people. You can let your parents' mistakes get to you, and make you upset and depressed; or, you can accept that they aren't perfect people, accept that they make mistakes, and accept that their mistakes don't have anything to do with you. So here's what you do, friend: you can't stop your mum from going clubbing, and that's okay. Don't try to. Don't fight with her about it. You can let her know how it makes you feel, but don't get into an argument. Accept the situation for what it is. Your mother is her own person, and she is accountable for what she does; you aren't. Next time you start to get in a fight or an argument with her, just step back, and withdraw yourself. Try it, see what happens. Once you decide not to let other peoples' failings affect you--and you do have the power to do this--then you'll find a sense of peace you probably haven't felt before. And you'll learn from your mistakes, and the mistakes of your parents, and everyone around you, and you'll be a better person. Press on.
reply about 12 hours
Dounuts
Dounuts posted in Family Issues:
Go to your neighbor's house and ask him/her to call to police.Everything will be just fine.
reply about 18 hours
RavenClawRaina
my ex is going through the same thing. Call the police now. Things will get out of hand. My brothers friend has been living with us for about 2 weeks becuz his dad punched him in the face. Call 911 now. They will help you. Just say you have been abused by your family member and they will take it from there. If you want, add me and we can talk
reply about 19 hours
XxRuby_PhoenixxX
If you are getting abused to the point where you bleed, call the police immediately. This isn't acceptable behavior.
reply about 19 hours