Dear Dish-It, My Flaws Caused the Break-Up
Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".
My boyfriend and I were going out for a really long time, when we broke up due to some personality clashes and the fact that he wanted to see other girls. (He said that since we are both so young, he wasn't ready for a monogamous relationship.) Aware that my flaws were what caused the break-up and many other problems in my life, I offered to make a positive change. He agreed that if I could make that change, he would give me another chance. Well, I made that change (and it feels great) and like promised, he gave me another chance. But he won't tell his parents that we are back together. He thinks his dad is going to make fun of him because he didn't stick to his word that he was breaking up with me. I feel like this could have really harmful effects on my relationship with him, pretending that I am only his friend when around them... when I'm not. He is a strong person, and I have only seen him lie once or twice... and usually over really stupid things. But I feel like I am deceiving his parents by going along with this. What should I do?
First things first. Good goin' girl! It sounds to me like you were listening. You heard what your boyfriend was saying, then you looked to yourself and recognized there was room to grow... and to make some positive changes. So right off, you are a winner! Pleeze, most peeps (Rents included) have a pretty rough time sorting through their own weaknesses. But the ability to do what you have done - it's the stuff that makes great people!
That said, I see some flags-a-wavin'. Your boyfriend pulled the monogomy ace. Hmmm, that one's always sketch, so keep your eyes peeled. On the other hand, maybe he (misguidedly) thought he was sparing your feelings. Regardless, you have to tell your boy that in today's world, monogamy is the simplest and safest answer. So be real or be gone. You don't need to hang with someone who isn't totally dedicated to you - emotionally and physically. So what's the final word - If anything about his relationship with you is cause for him to lie, then he just isn't dedicated. Either he comes clean with his Rents, or it's over.
Liar, you need to trust your instincts... you know deep down that it isn't respectful to you (or your boy's parents) if he's not being real. So love yourself and kiss him off! You can and will do better!
So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .