Dear Dish-It, My Parents Are Ruining My Life!

Dear Dish-It, My Parents Are Ruining My Life!

My parents are totally ruining my life! I’m 12 years old and I just moved to a new school. Well I was pretty nervous about starting a new school but I found a girlfriend and now she is my whole world. I really love her and we tell each other all the time. I call and talk to her every night and I even talk to her mom on the phone sometimes. Well my mom is totally spazzing out about this. My girlfriend’s mom invited me to come over to their house and my mom and dad said no. The her parents invited me to spend the weekend and my parents again said no way! They are not being fair. My mom told me I had to break up with her and just be friends and that I can’t date until 9th grade. The she texted my girlfriend and told her I can’t date her anymore! I don’t know why my parents try to ruin my life all the time? Any advice cause I plan to be her boyfriend whether my parents like it or not. What they won’t know won’t hurt them.


Well, Matty, you really are in a jam, aren’t you?! While you sound like a really mature 12-year-old, I think maybe your parents are right in that it’s a pretty young age to be dating anyone seriously. I’m glad you’re fitting in well at your new school. That’s important, and now that you feel accepted by your new girlfriend and her parents, it sort of makes things even better, doesn’t it? I understand that your parents not being able to accept your girlfriend and her family is coming between you guys, but you do have to remember that your mom and dad have your best interests in mind.

Here’s my advice: sit down with your parents and talk to them without becoming emotional. That means staying cool and calm, no matter what you discuss. Emotion is a big way that parents decide how mature you are, so be sure not to lose your temper when you have this talk with them – you want to prove to them that you are old enough to talk things out in a calm, mature way. Explain to your mom and dad that your girlfriend and her parents add to your feelings of fitting in and that your parents’ failure to be happy for you makes you feel like they want you to be left out. Try and see if there is some way the three of you (you, mom and dad) can come to an agreement. Maybe they’ll still let you see your girlfriend and visit her home if it’s a “family night” and they’re invited, too. Or see if they would feel more comfortable inviting her and her parents to come over to your house.

Like I said, I think 12 may be too young to be doing any really serious dating, so I understand why your parents wouldn’t want you spending nights or weekends at your girlfriend’s house. Instead of being angry and blowing up at them (which won’t get you anywhere), it’s better to ask them (calmly) why they are worried and to try and understand where they are coming from. It’s always better to try and meet in the middle, so you get something rather than nothing.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

EndlessDream posted in Friends:
Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
reply about 10 hours
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
reply about 10 hours
EndlessDream posted in Friends:
Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
reply about 10 hours
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
This is gonna be long:   I have this 'friend' Amelia. She and I bonded really fast last year and we've become inseparable.   But lately she's blowing me off and my other best friend Belen told me: Amelia is actually using you. She does this to new kids at school, especially from foreign countries. She thinks because you're Chinese and the Chinese teacher's daughter, you'll help her. She's also using you as a backup friend - a substitute. There's this new girl Daniela, who Amelia thinks is her new best friend. She thinks that when Daniela stop hanging out with her, she'll have you.   The thing is, Daniela is pretty nice and she probably doesn't know all the trouble she's causing. Belen's old 'best friend' Andrea is doing the same to her.   I also learned that Amelia is seemingly the 'most popular girl in school' because she's mean to everyone. She always passes by the little kids' classrooms and hugs them & stuff. They seem to love her, but now I know it's because they think if they're nice they won't get bullied.   Maybe she WAS using me but I dunno. Belen says that each kid in the entire school has a bad story about Amelia and something she did to them. I said, "Then how was she so nice to me last year?" Then Belen was all like, "She was using you."   I don't know if she's telling the truth. She and Amelia are deadly enemies and she might be making up the whole Amelia story just to get back at her. Although Amelia has been dropping a few signs that she IS using me as a substitute friend.   Sometimes when I walk in, she'll be like "OOOOHHH! CASSANDRA! HI! HOW ARE YOU! C'MON, LOOK AT THIS! WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOOOO MUCH FUN TOGETHER ..."   And other times I'm like, "Hey, Amelia!" and she says, "Oh. Huh? Yeah, hi ..."  Once during PE we had to sit down and on the way to the gym, she was chatting with me in a BBBBFFFF way. But then when we had to partner up she said with Andrea, Daniela and someone else who I forgot.   I don't know what to do. It's just so weird. Even though now I know she MIGHT be using me (I'm not sure if she really is) it just seems WEIRD. Even for a supposed ##### she was my possibly fake best friend for the whole of last year. It's WEIRD to suddenly switch.   I don't even know if this should be happening. We've only just started 5th grade. Doesn't this WEIRD #### start happening around middle school? Thank you, everyone who will help in advance. P.S. Please include flirting advice. - A Girl Who Might Just Lose Her Possibly Fake Best Friend
reply about 11 hours
Okay I have school today and my hair is not sitting how I want it to. But my mum says it is sitting fine WHEN ITS NOT! SHE IS NOT LISTENING what do i do?
reply about 12 hours

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