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Dear Dish-It, My Parents Are Ruining My Life!

Dear Dish-It, My Parents Are Ruining My Life!

My parents are totally ruining my life! I’m 12 years old and I just moved to a new school. Well I was pretty nervous about starting a new school but I found a girlfriend and now she is my whole world. I really love her and we tell each other all the time. I call and talk to her every night and I even talk to her mom on the phone sometimes. Well my mom is totally spazzing out about this. My girlfriend’s mom invited me to come over to their house and my mom and dad said no. The her parents invited me to spend the weekend and my parents again said no way! They are not being fair. My mom told me I had to break up with her and just be friends and that I can’t date until 9th grade. The she texted my girlfriend and told her I can’t date her anymore! I don’t know why my parents try to ruin my life all the time? Any advice cause I plan to be her boyfriend whether my parents like it or not. What they won’t know won’t hurt them.

Matty_12

Well, Matty, you really are in a jam, aren’t you?! While you sound like a really mature 12-year-old, I think maybe your parents are right in that it’s a pretty young age to be dating anyone seriously. I’m glad you’re fitting in well at your new school. That’s important, and now that you feel accepted by your new girlfriend and her parents, it sort of makes things even better, doesn’t it? I understand that your parents not being able to accept your girlfriend and her family is coming between you guys, but you do have to remember that your mom and dad have your best interests in mind.


Here’s my advice: sit down with your parents and talk to them without becoming emotional. That means staying cool and calm, no matter what you discuss. Emotion is a big way that parents decide how mature you are, so be sure not to lose your temper when you have this talk with them – you want to prove to them that you are old enough to talk things out in a calm, mature way. Explain to your mom and dad that your girlfriend and her parents add to your feelings of fitting in and that your parents’ failure to be happy for you makes you feel like they want you to be left out. Try and see if there is some way the three of you (you, mom and dad) can come to an agreement. Maybe they’ll still let you see your girlfriend and visit her home if it’s a “family night” and they’re invited, too. Or see if they would feel more comfortable inviting her and her parents to come over to your house.


Like I said, I think 12 may be too young to be doing any really serious dating, so I understand why your parents wouldn’t want you spending nights or weekends at your girlfriend’s house. Instead of being angry and blowing up at them (which won’t get you anywhere), it’s better to ask them (calmly) why they are worried and to try and understand where they are coming from. It’s always better to try and meet in the middle, so you get something rather than nothing.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
"SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? It's really nice that your mother supports it, that always helps!! I'm glad that your family enjoys his company as well. Being 16 while he's 20 is alright. It's a slight odd age gap. But, I think as long as you both are ready, it's alright. Make sure you're mature and safe with your choices though. Personally, I think you should wait until you're closer to at least, 17. But, as long as you two are smart about what you're doing, it should be alright when it come around to it.
reply 3 days
fitta
"Shygirl15" wrote:I really like this boy in my second period class but i dont know how to tell him because he knows that im transgender do whatever makes you feel comfortable or just wing it and tell him and if he tells you something because you're trans forget about him! He doesn't deserve you. But it's totally okay if you want to play it safe and not go up to him. You do you. :3 
reply 3 days
fitta
"SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? i suggest you wait i mean you are going to be 16 that's way too young to be dating someone who is 4/5 years older than you,no? You can still talk to him when it comes to your anxiety attacks and all of that because I have those too every night so I know how it feels, but maybe you should wait. But at the end of the day it's your decision I'm just here to give advice 
reply 3 days
SatanslilDemon
Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice???
reply 3 days
SmartSunnyShadow
I feel like that too. My best friend will always hang out with her 'new friends' that I have a really bad opinion about. My friend will treat me rudely all the time and sometimes make fun of me with her friends. But, when I needed her the most in my life, she was there for me, and I told her how I felt. She says that she just wants to hang out with more people and apologized, people can be a little teasy at times.  Also, after seeing each other for a long time, people make new friends and start hanging out with them more, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like you.  This may be different for you, but just tell her about it, she will have to know you feelings at one point.  Hope I helped you. 
reply 3 days