Dear Dish-It, My Parents Are Ruining My Life!

Dear Dish-It, My Parents Are Ruining My Life!

My parents are totally ruining my life! I’m 12 years old and I just moved to a new school. Well I was pretty nervous about starting a new school but I found a girlfriend and now she is my whole world. I really love her and we tell each other all the time. I call and talk to her every night and I even talk to her mom on the phone sometimes. Well my mom is totally spazzing out about this. My girlfriend’s mom invited me to come over to their house and my mom and dad said no. The her parents invited me to spend the weekend and my parents again said no way! They are not being fair. My mom told me I had to break up with her and just be friends and that I can’t date until 9th grade. The she texted my girlfriend and told her I can’t date her anymore! I don’t know why my parents try to ruin my life all the time? Any advice cause I plan to be her boyfriend whether my parents like it or not. What they won’t know won’t hurt them.


Well, Matty, you really are in a jam, aren’t you?! While you sound like a really mature 12-year-old, I think maybe your parents are right in that it’s a pretty young age to be dating anyone seriously. I’m glad you’re fitting in well at your new school. That’s important, and now that you feel accepted by your new girlfriend and her parents, it sort of makes things even better, doesn’t it? I understand that your parents not being able to accept your girlfriend and her family is coming between you guys, but you do have to remember that your mom and dad have your best interests in mind.

Here’s my advice: sit down with your parents and talk to them without becoming emotional. That means staying cool and calm, no matter what you discuss. Emotion is a big way that parents decide how mature you are, so be sure not to lose your temper when you have this talk with them – you want to prove to them that you are old enough to talk things out in a calm, mature way. Explain to your mom and dad that your girlfriend and her parents add to your feelings of fitting in and that your parents’ failure to be happy for you makes you feel like they want you to be left out. Try and see if there is some way the three of you (you, mom and dad) can come to an agreement. Maybe they’ll still let you see your girlfriend and visit her home if it’s a “family night” and they’re invited, too. Or see if they would feel more comfortable inviting her and her parents to come over to your house.

Like I said, I think 12 may be too young to be doing any really serious dating, so I understand why your parents wouldn’t want you spending nights or weekends at your girlfriend’s house. Instead of being angry and blowing up at them (which won’t get you anywhere), it’s better to ask them (calmly) why they are worried and to try and understand where they are coming from. It’s always better to try and meet in the middle, so you get something rather than nothing.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
My friend problem: Get ready 'cause this'll be long. Problem = ... Okay, so I know this girl, Amelia. Last year when I was new at school she invited me to sit with her and her friends on the second day. Since then, we've been 'best friends'. Throughout the whole of last year she was really great. Now, it's been a few weeks since the first day of school - 5th grade. On the first day she was really happy to see me and we did all that normal BFF stuff. We even traced one of each of our hands and wrote 'BFFs' at the top. It all started with this.                                                   HOW IT HAPPENED One day we were sitting in the cafeteria. Her: Hey, what should we do during recess today? Another Friend Who Doesn't Like Amelia: Hey, do you want to do ______________? Me: Ummmmmmmmmmmm ......... errrrrrrrr .............. Me: (Thinking of Plan) Me: Eureka! Me: Hey, Amelia, I have this idea. Since you don't like Belen .... (this is other friend's name)  and you don't like her, I was thinking: Maybe on Monday I could hang out with you and Tuesday with her ... etc. Her: Cool. Well ... okay. Note: Well, I was feeling pretty bad, because she'd been a really great friend, but then I thought: Hey, it's only one day! It's not like I told her "Hey, I'm going to ditch you!" So then I went off with Belen. Well, the next day, or maybe a few days later - I don't remember - she told me during recess again: Her: Hey, do you want to go hang out with them over there? Points Me: Sure ... why not? Then we went on over there. During the whole of that recess, she didn't pay much attention to me. That was when I got suspicious. Now, it's been, like, 4 weeks since the first day of school. I decided to hang out with Belen during recess on Friday. Tomorrow is Monday, btw. Belen: Are you going to hang out with me during recess today? Me: Yeah. I would've wanted to go off with Amelia, but she was blowing me off lately. Last year a lot of people weren't her friends and she wasn't that social. Now, I see her flirting with _ _ _ _ _ _ easily and everyone (even people who left her out of their groups last year) is crowding around her while she talks about her big party. Last time, she even asked me if I wanted to go away with Belen, because she wasn't there either. Maybe I'm overreacting and she's just getting to be friends with a lot more people. I dunno. Should I be happy for her? Like I said, Belen and Amelia kinda hate each other, which is pretty inconvenient because they're both my best friends. So, you know that 'big party' Amelia is hosting? Belen's not invited and I don't know about myself, either. During yet ANOTHER recess Belen was talking about planning her birthday party. Now it's October 4th and her birthday is actually on January 21. Weird. I think she means this as a revenge party, because she is NOT inviting Amelia. Am I overreacting and taking this too seriously? Maybe I'm not and Amelia really isn't a good friend. But if I go to Belen's party and have an awesome time, Amelia (if I was overreacting) would be really upset. Then she would ditch me - FOR REAL. If I AM invited to Amelia's party, then what if she started blowing me off there? I don't want to look like a pesky little 'friend', clinging onto her. I NEED HELP. P.S. I have another problem caused by the first problem. I am crushing really hard on My Crush. I'm sure boys like fun, bouncy, happy, perky girls. He usually sees me during recess, where Amelia is usually blowing me off. Then, I start acting really sluggish and moody. Basically downright not-in-the-fun-mood. What would he think? Thank you for your help. P.P.S. PLEASE DO help me. This is an emergency. Thank you very much for your help (if you do help, that is.)
reply 17 minutes
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
Perfect Friend: Someone who will support you when you fail. Someone who encourages you. Someone who sticks with you. Someone who comforts you when things go wrong. Someone who is funny and makes you laugh. Someone who tells you the answers in class ... Someone who would wait for you after detention. Someone who would buy you great presents for your birthday. Someone who you know you can always count on. Someone nice (obvious). Someone who never fights with you. Someone who would always be a good friend, even if you weren't. Someone who is loyal. Someone who'd never go off with some other person. Someone who would read all this stuff without telling me they were bored.
reply about 1 hour
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
This thing happened in kindergarten ... too embarrassing to even talk about it now ... so bye.
reply about 6 hours
"CountessElectra" wrote:The loss of my grandad was horrible. I felt so sad at the time. I felt like i would never stop crying when my parents told me. It still makes me sad today... aww. i hope everything's okay :(
reply about 7 hours
"hugebear" wrote:This is the awesome thread and thank you for posting it manu [stickied] :) thank you huge :) 
reply about 7 hours

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