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Dear Dish-It: He's Too Popular To Like Me

Dear Dish-It,

I have a really huge crush on this boy in my class. But he is so much more popular than me. He just got dumped by his girlfriend, smiled at me at least twice and asked me to sing. What should I do? I really like him and don't know what to do!


Orange Crush


Dear OC,


I get a lot of crush questions like yours, and I think I have the problem pretty much figured out. If you keep thinking the way you’re thinking – that some people are more popular or, in effect, “better” than you, you’ll miss out on having the wonderful, exciting, fulfilling like that you (and every single person born on this earth) deserve!


It’s a problem of low self-esteem. You may not think you suffer from it – you may even think you like yourself a whole lot and are confident in your personality, abilities and even physical looks. But as long as you say or think things like “Oh, he’s more popular than me. There’s no way he could ever like me,” you’re totally selling yourself short.


The secret to getting the things you want in life, including the love and admiration of someone you really like, is to constantly think and say to yourself that you deserve it! Whether you say the words out loud to friends, repeat them over and over in your head or write them down in a letter to me, you need to believe in yourself in order to make your dreams come true – no matter how big or small they are.


If you believe you’re lousy in math and you constantly tell yourself so, chances are you’ll get totally frustrated, nervous or stressed out to the point that you won’t be good at it. But if you have confidence and faith in yourself and believe you can do whatever you set your mind to doing (even tricky trigonometry!), my guess is you’ll find total success!


As for your immediate question about liking this guy: if all the things you’re telling me are true (he’s been smiling at you and complimenting your singing abilities), all signs point to the fact that he likes you back. It seems to me the only thing stopping you from getting what you want is yourself – your own mind telling you who you are and who you aren’t and what you can or can’t have or do. Trust me OC, negative thinking is the worst form of sabotage – you wouldn’t do it to anyone else, so why do it to yourself?


Starting right now, erase the negative thoughts and constantly tell yourself you’re an amazing person. Tell yourself any guy – including this one – would be lucky to be with you (this is vanity or conceit – you DO deserve it, just like everyone else does). Take responsibility for building up your own confidence and believe in yourself. In no time, your positive attitude and self-esteem will shine through, and you may find this boy asking you out without you having to do much other than be yourself. Or, you may end up feeling so good about yourself that you’ll be able to march right up to him and let him know how you feel! And the best part is, you’ll love YOURSELF so much at that point, it won’t matter how he reacts – whether his response is positive or negative, you’ll be able to walk away knowing you still have your biggest and most important fan – YOU.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • If You Think You’re Ugly, You're Selling Yourself Short
  • I Have Low Self-Esteem
  • Miss Teen USA On Confidence
  • Plastic Surgery = Low Self-Esteem?

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

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    "SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? It's really nice that your mother supports it, that always helps!! I'm glad that your family enjoys his company as well. Being 16 while he's 20 is alright. It's a slight odd age gap. But, I think as long as you both are ready, it's alright. Make sure you're mature and safe with your choices though. Personally, I think you should wait until you're closer to at least, 17. But, as long as you two are smart about what you're doing, it should be alright when it come around to it.
    reply 3 days
    fitta
    "Shygirl15" wrote:I really like this boy in my second period class but i dont know how to tell him because he knows that im transgender do whatever makes you feel comfortable or just wing it and tell him and if he tells you something because you're trans forget about him! He doesn't deserve you. But it's totally okay if you want to play it safe and not go up to him. You do you. :3 
    reply 3 days
    fitta
    "SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? i suggest you wait i mean you are going to be 16 that's way too young to be dating someone who is 4/5 years older than you,no? You can still talk to him when it comes to your anxiety attacks and all of that because I have those too every night so I know how it feels, but maybe you should wait. But at the end of the day it's your decision I'm just here to give advice 
    reply 3 days
    SatanslilDemon
    Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice???
    reply 3 days
    SmartSunnyShadow
    I feel like that too. My best friend will always hang out with her 'new friends' that I have a really bad opinion about. My friend will treat me rudely all the time and sometimes make fun of me with her friends. But, when I needed her the most in my life, she was there for me, and I told her how I felt. She says that she just wants to hang out with more people and apologized, people can be a little teasy at times.  Also, after seeing each other for a long time, people make new friends and start hanging out with them more, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like you.  This may be different for you, but just tell her about it, she will have to know you feelings at one point.  Hope I helped you. 
    reply 3 days