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Dear Dish-It: He's Too Popular To Like Me

Dear Dish-It,

I have a really huge crush on this boy in my class. But he is so much more popular than me. He just got dumped by his girlfriend, smiled at me at least twice and asked me to sing. What should I do? I really like him and don't know what to do!


Orange Crush


Dear OC,


I get a lot of crush questions like yours, and I think I have the problem pretty much figured out. If you keep thinking the way you’re thinking – that some people are more popular or, in effect, “better” than you, you’ll miss out on having the wonderful, exciting, fulfilling like that you (and every single person born on this earth) deserve!


It’s a problem of low self-esteem. You may not think you suffer from it – you may even think you like yourself a whole lot and are confident in your personality, abilities and even physical looks. But as long as you say or think things like “Oh, he’s more popular than me. There’s no way he could ever like me,” you’re totally selling yourself short.


The secret to getting the things you want in life, including the love and admiration of someone you really like, is to constantly think and say to yourself that you deserve it! Whether you say the words out loud to friends, repeat them over and over in your head or write them down in a letter to me, you need to believe in yourself in order to make your dreams come true – no matter how big or small they are.


If you believe you’re lousy in math and you constantly tell yourself so, chances are you’ll get totally frustrated, nervous or stressed out to the point that you won’t be good at it. But if you have confidence and faith in yourself and believe you can do whatever you set your mind to doing (even tricky trigonometry!), my guess is you’ll find total success!


As for your immediate question about liking this guy: if all the things you’re telling me are true (he’s been smiling at you and complimenting your singing abilities), all signs point to the fact that he likes you back. It seems to me the only thing stopping you from getting what you want is yourself – your own mind telling you who you are and who you aren’t and what you can or can’t have or do. Trust me OC, negative thinking is the worst form of sabotage – you wouldn’t do it to anyone else, so why do it to yourself?


Starting right now, erase the negative thoughts and constantly tell yourself you’re an amazing person. Tell yourself any guy – including this one – would be lucky to be with you (this is vanity or conceit – you DO deserve it, just like everyone else does). Take responsibility for building up your own confidence and believe in yourself. In no time, your positive attitude and self-esteem will shine through, and you may find this boy asking you out without you having to do much other than be yourself. Or, you may end up feeling so good about yourself that you’ll be able to march right up to him and let him know how you feel! And the best part is, you’ll love YOURSELF so much at that point, it won’t matter how he reacts – whether his response is positive or negative, you’ll be able to walk away knowing you still have your biggest and most important fan – YOU.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • If You Think You’re Ugly, You're Selling Yourself Short
  • I Have Low Self-Esteem
  • Miss Teen USA On Confidence
  • Plastic Surgery = Low Self-Esteem?

  • 11 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    partydiva01
    partydiva01 posted in Friends:
    Dear dish it, my friend first met eachother on the first day of kindergarten we sat next to one another and we became close. we were BFF's throughout 1st to 2nd grades. then, the second grade teacher realized there were alot of kids in the class. and same w the 3rd grade teacher. so, we had to have a split class. my friend was in the split. I was not. It all seemed like the teachers were doing somthing... weired. all the girls (well, almost there were only 6 girls on one half) were in the split. and all the boys were in regular . AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WAS WEIRED! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( all the boy BFF's and the girl BFF's were SPLIT. me and my friend,kids named Nia & Georgia, Isaac& Ethan, and more. it was so sad for all of us.2 months later, I got homschooled. 2 years later im back in public with my 4th grade self. everything had changed. a bunch of people were obsessed w\ a girl my age named kassidy. im neighbors w\ kassidy and she is REALLY cool and nice. but the whole I  [s:sm3/1jw1] kassidy crew got mean. if I asked them to play they would say. "If Kassidy is playing I will" or I would want to be parteners with kassidy on something and they would freak out. anyway jasmine NEVER invited my to anything, and I am trying to be nice to her ( ice cream money, homework help, comfort when sad, ect.) And not to mention I invited her to 3 things!!! on the bright side she came to 2 :thumbsup :thumbsup she also embarassed me by saying that she was moving I freaked out  because I cared about her and I would cry all the time. I even held onto her and said sadly, "PLEASE DON'T GO!!  :sad :sad . later i found out that she was not moving, she was going to CA for a vacation. even the teacher was in on it!! :mad :mad anyways, my parents told me that i should just let go of her. But i am not ready. HELP??? :e :e :e :e :e
    reply 4 days
    PittsburghPenguinsFanatic
    When I was a child I wanted glasses SOO bad, cuz I wanted to copy my mom and sister. And also, I thought they looked cool. I wear glasses now. I have had them for 2 years and honestly I don't mind them. Although, this year I am gonna pry get contacts for swimming better and stuff like that. But if you don't need glasses I wouldn't recommend wearing them. They're not bad, but trust me after a while you will pry not like them as much. But hey, that's my opinion. If you want to do it I'm not gonna stop you. Do what makes you happy in the long run. And tell your friends that they are non prescription if you don't need them, but still get some.
    reply 5 days
    Bratayley_Fan_7
    She is not. I have faced this problem before so I know. You should make a new friend!
    reply 5 days
    ValenciaRose
    ValenciaRose posted in Friends:
    I agree I was afraid of that first too. Eventually I just began inviting my friends over and they don't use it/practically obsess over it like I do but they understood why I use kidzworld and not many other forms of social media. 
    reply 5 days
    ValenciaRose
    ValenciaRose posted in Friends:
    "btw_sports_rule" wrote:I really like a guy and people think he likes me. I like him but im really scared to tell anyone. I really need help but i don't know who to talk to. I can't talk to parents. They would put me in trouble for falling in love. They believe I can't date until age 20. Aw, well, my advice for you would be to talk to your parents about it. There's no point trying to sneak around like those films and it is better for your mind if you talk to them about it. It can be super difficult I know but if you and your parents get along really well then you guys can talk about it and make it work. On the other hand, if your parents ban you from falling in love as you put it, then I think it's better just to stay as friends with him. 
    reply 5 days