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Dear Dish-It: He's Too Popular To Like Me

Dear Dish-It,

I have a really huge crush on this boy in my class. But he is so much more popular than me. He just got dumped by his girlfriend, smiled at me at least twice and asked me to sing. What should I do? I really like him and don't know what to do!


Orange Crush


Dear OC,


I get a lot of crush questions like yours, and I think I have the problem pretty much figured out. If you keep thinking the way you’re thinking – that some people are more popular or, in effect, “better” than you, you’ll miss out on having the wonderful, exciting, fulfilling like that you (and every single person born on this earth) deserve!


It’s a problem of low self-esteem. You may not think you suffer from it – you may even think you like yourself a whole lot and are confident in your personality, abilities and even physical looks. But as long as you say or think things like “Oh, he’s more popular than me. There’s no way he could ever like me,” you’re totally selling yourself short.


The secret to getting the things you want in life, including the love and admiration of someone you really like, is to constantly think and say to yourself that you deserve it! Whether you say the words out loud to friends, repeat them over and over in your head or write them down in a letter to me, you need to believe in yourself in order to make your dreams come true – no matter how big or small they are.


If you believe you’re lousy in math and you constantly tell yourself so, chances are you’ll get totally frustrated, nervous or stressed out to the point that you won’t be good at it. But if you have confidence and faith in yourself and believe you can do whatever you set your mind to doing (even tricky trigonometry!), my guess is you’ll find total success!


As for your immediate question about liking this guy: if all the things you’re telling me are true (he’s been smiling at you and complimenting your singing abilities), all signs point to the fact that he likes you back. It seems to me the only thing stopping you from getting what you want is yourself – your own mind telling you who you are and who you aren’t and what you can or can’t have or do. Trust me OC, negative thinking is the worst form of sabotage – you wouldn’t do it to anyone else, so why do it to yourself?


Starting right now, erase the negative thoughts and constantly tell yourself you’re an amazing person. Tell yourself any guy – including this one – would be lucky to be with you (this is vanity or conceit – you DO deserve it, just like everyone else does). Take responsibility for building up your own confidence and believe in yourself. In no time, your positive attitude and self-esteem will shine through, and you may find this boy asking you out without you having to do much other than be yourself. Or, you may end up feeling so good about yourself that you’ll be able to march right up to him and let him know how you feel! And the best part is, you’ll love YOURSELF so much at that point, it won’t matter how he reacts – whether his response is positive or negative, you’ll be able to walk away knowing you still have your biggest and most important fan – YOU.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


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  • 11 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    Austin312
    Austin312 posted in Friends:
    So okay, there are two guys in my class and both of them have a crush on me. Both asked me out and i dont know what should i do. same thing as what happened to you shygirl03 
    reply about 7 hours
    toripizza
    last friday, i was home alone, my dad went to am AA meting and chiz, so i was alone for a couple og hours, i mean yeah i'm depressed, i cut, i have suicidal thoughts daily.......it's hard hurting inside..and just to see everyone pass you by like you're nothing, people judging you without knowing you. i also have social anxiety, and it really bothers me at school, so i try to walk fast in the halls, and i'm tense a lot. people criticize me once in a while.... ive been through some stuff, i've seen my mom abused infront of me thousand of times..........it's just hard...life. i'm scared to deal with it. so i made a noose, tried to attempt. long story short, my friend called the police, i got sent to the ER......my dad doesn't trust me alone for a mere 3 seconds, cause he thinks as soon as he turns his back i'll cut myself, or hang myself
    reply about 9 hours
    hugebear
    hugebear posted in Friends:
    So there's this guy in my class and he sits next to me. Correction he HAS to sit next to me, So my classroom as a table with 2 desks connected to make a huge desk but separated holders things to put our stuff in. So this guy is really the class clown of the class and he can be a jerk when he wants to be but sometimes can be a really nice guy. He likes to talk to me and he "Occasionally" Touches my hand or arm in a friendly way.. I think :3 but anyways he teases me ... A LOT but he sometimes insults me but when he sees my face not cracking into a smile. he instantly says sorry or didnt mean it like that kind of way and i smile. So does he like me? Or he just being a regular guy?  Ello and I thinks he likes you and feels your the close enough friend what he can joke around with. He doesnt want to offend you or upset you and that shows he cares about your feelings. Me advises is take your time and see how your friendship develops.  If it feeels natural to ask him does he like you then ask him and theres no rush :) Good luck :love
    reply about 12 hours
    hugebear
    hugebear posted in Friends:
    Ello and your boyfriend is with you cos he likes you over everyone else.   Jealousy is horrible and honestly i would gets over the jealousy thing and trusts him and has confidendence in yourself that he likes you cos of you.. This is me advises on this :) and good luck :love
    reply about 12 hours
    AhleyM
    AhleyM posted in Friends:
     My best friend is: Kate Rubio.
    reply about 16 hours

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