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Dear Dish-It: He's Too Popular To Like Me

Dear Dish-It,

I have a really huge crush on this boy in my class. But he is so much more popular than me. He just got dumped by his girlfriend, smiled at me at least twice and asked me to sing. What should I do? I really like him and don't know what to do!


Orange Crush


Dear OC,


I get a lot of crush questions like yours, and I think I have the problem pretty much figured out. If you keep thinking the way you’re thinking – that some people are more popular or, in effect, “better” than you, you’ll miss out on having the wonderful, exciting, fulfilling like that you (and every single person born on this earth) deserve!


It’s a problem of low self-esteem. You may not think you suffer from it – you may even think you like yourself a whole lot and are confident in your personality, abilities and even physical looks. But as long as you say or think things like “Oh, he’s more popular than me. There’s no way he could ever like me,” you’re totally selling yourself short.


The secret to getting the things you want in life, including the love and admiration of someone you really like, is to constantly think and say to yourself that you deserve it! Whether you say the words out loud to friends, repeat them over and over in your head or write them down in a letter to me, you need to believe in yourself in order to make your dreams come true – no matter how big or small they are.


If you believe you’re lousy in math and you constantly tell yourself so, chances are you’ll get totally frustrated, nervous or stressed out to the point that you won’t be good at it. But if you have confidence and faith in yourself and believe you can do whatever you set your mind to doing (even tricky trigonometry!), my guess is you’ll find total success!


As for your immediate question about liking this guy: if all the things you’re telling me are true (he’s been smiling at you and complimenting your singing abilities), all signs point to the fact that he likes you back. It seems to me the only thing stopping you from getting what you want is yourself – your own mind telling you who you are and who you aren’t and what you can or can’t have or do. Trust me OC, negative thinking is the worst form of sabotage – you wouldn’t do it to anyone else, so why do it to yourself?


Starting right now, erase the negative thoughts and constantly tell yourself you’re an amazing person. Tell yourself any guy – including this one – would be lucky to be with you (this is vanity or conceit – you DO deserve it, just like everyone else does). Take responsibility for building up your own confidence and believe in yourself. In no time, your positive attitude and self-esteem will shine through, and you may find this boy asking you out without you having to do much other than be yourself. Or, you may end up feeling so good about yourself that you’ll be able to march right up to him and let him know how you feel! And the best part is, you’ll love YOURSELF so much at that point, it won’t matter how he reacts – whether his response is positive or negative, you’ll be able to walk away knowing you still have your biggest and most important fan – YOU.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • If You Think You’re Ugly, You're Selling Yourself Short
  • I Have Low Self-Esteem
  • Miss Teen USA On Confidence
  • Plastic Surgery = Low Self-Esteem?

  • 11 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Misunderstood15
    I like this guy and he never tells you if he likes you back or not. He told me that he doesn't want to do long distance but flirts with me 
    reply about 9 hours
    Treyonna12
    Well i had a crush but now he is my boyfrann and he wasn't really my rush sooo i mean  WHATEVER  buttt yea he is the best boyfrann someone could have he DOESN'T CHEAT like some of yall or he DOESN'T TEXT OTHER GIRLS OR BOYS (just saying) but yeah bye i'm in school
    reply about 9 hours
    XDragonicKingX
    I'll try to be as simple as possible. You should really keep an eye him.I'm not telling you to stalk him in a weird creepy way,I'm just telling you to watch him so you can learn and do things he would like people to do.Act nice towards him,and try not to make it awkward.Remember,you should always learn his interests.If so,you can talk about them,thus making it easy what to speak about.If you don't feel comfortable with just telling him you have a crush on him,or feel nervous,don't do it.Wait.People with patience always get the best fruit.If you feel like your friend might be better for him,let it be.You might get another person instead. I know it's not that easy to just let go of your feelings,so there is another way.A way kinda using force,you might say.You'll have to convince your crush to let go of your friend somehow WITHOUT letting her know that you were the cause of all of this,or you can convince your friend to let your crush go.It's hard to do so,but I guess there might be no other choice,if you would look from the perspective I'm looking from.
    reply about 10 hours
    babe017
    "babe017" wrote:I have  a crush and now he is my boyfriend
    reply about 11 hours
    Error44
    Go for him, make a nice situation to understand what he feels about you, if he loves you and you are sure about him so go for him and dont lose him . Though I think such a friendship for you is too soon and it will be broken but it is worth trying .Soory, if I speak frankly , it is just my opinion nothing more.
    reply 1 day