Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: I'm A Better Writer Than My BFF

Dear Dish-It,

I’ve been writing since I was three so now I am in the highest level in English. I have finished two books I have been writing so far, with one still on the go, which is about a renegade who doesn't know who his sister or father is and when he finds out his dad dies. My problem is that my BFF says I should write about happy things instead of broken families. Plus she says I shouldn't brag about being in the highest level, even though I don’t! The closest thing I’ve ever done to that is try and give her tips on how to make it up to the same level, but that didn’t go over too well. What should I do?

Free Spirit


Dear Free,


In terms of your best friend telling you what you should and shouldn’t write about, that’s an easy problem to solve. You can:

  • stop discussing your writing with her;
  • tell her you appreciate her opinion (and then do what you want with her advice); or
  • take her advice to heart and try writing something different than you normally do.

  • My personal vote is for the third option. You see, I happen to be a writer, too. My love for reading and writing when I was young has led me to my dream job. So when I give you this advice you have to understand that I really know what I’m talking about, as a professional writer. It’s great that you’re in the advanced English class, but in order to become a truly versatile and multifaceted writer, you’re going to have to start stepping out of your comfort zone once in a while. Trust me, trying to write about a topic or theme you normally would never consider is a good exercise and can really help you to advance your skills and grow as a writer. So your BFF is actually helping you become better at what you do, whether she meant it in a mean way or not.


    Now on to your second issue. If your friend doesn’t like getting help, simply stop helping her. I wasn’t there, so I don’t know how you offered your advice to her, but my feeling is she either took it the wrong way or you used a tone of voice or said it in a way that made her feel like you thought you were superior to her in your writing ability. I’m not saying you meant to be mean, but the fact is she took it badly. So, like I said, you may just want to back off in the advice department when it comes to writing. Or, try approaching her as an equal rather than someone who just happens to be at a lower skill level than you. Besides, you seem smart. Writing is totally arbitrary. I could read a published novel and love it, and you could read the same book and think it’s a piece of trash. Does that make the writer good or bad? Everyone writes differently and, in my opinion, most people write decently. Sure, there are rules of spelling, grammar, voice, syntax, consistency, etc. that may have to be learned or acquired, but everyone’s got a unique and active imagination that, when written down on paper or a computer, can become a pretty good tale for some readers.


    Finally, I’ll say this. If you truly want to help your friend, you should be conscious enough to know that giving advice only works when you’re willing to take it from other people, too. When she offers you her opinion on how you can evolve in your own ability as a writer (i.e. taking a shot at trying to writer a happier story), take it and thank her for being such a caring friend. Maybe that way she’ll be more open to taking advice from you.


    If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


    More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • Resume Help
  • Kidz Poems
  • Robbie Burns Day

  • 4 Comments

    latest videos

    F1132015417734

    Who's Your Fave Author?

    • Lemony Snicket.
    • J.K. Rowling.
    • Ann Brashares.
    • Louis Sachar.

    related stories

    Inspired by the real-life story of Kelly Weil, Zink is the story of one girl's emotional s...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    prettypinkgirl333
    rumours are not good
    reply about 1 hour
    hugebear
    hugebear posted in Friends:
    So basicall, i am changing. Your changing.. so possibly the way you view your friendship is changing too.. I am going into middle school. I am worried if my best freind is becoming a jerk.He has harrased me for not hanging out with him every recess. If you hung out with him before in every recess hes probably feeling like your moving away from him.. and you are since your following statement is He has been ungrateful everytime i did him a favor. Friends doesnt count favours - and what kind of favours do you think your doing for him that he doesnt and hasnt done for you over the years you has been best friends? He even went to do "magic" with his neighbor when i was over. He is also the type that could probably get in trouble the first day. Your making judgements about him and why does you think he is the type that is gonna get in trouble?  Your his friend.  Talk to him... Do you think I should ditch him?. No. Hes growing and changing too.  If he really is your best friend - talk to him.. tell him how your feeling and say what is bothering you and sorts it out. Good luck :love
    reply about 3 hours
    Maiiin_Chick4u
    Maiiin_Chick4u posted in Style:
    jeans cause leggings show everything
    reply about 8 hours
    Delancey
    Delancey posted in Friends:
    Ditch? Absolutely no. And..You should talk to him and ask him what's going on and why he's doing it. But you should ask him calmly or he will feel bad. All the best!!
    reply about 11 hours
    iluvme4ever
    This is not something that I am at all proud of... I hate myself more everytime I look or even think about it... My wrist My Father My Depression My tears My scissors ......... That's all that I can think about...... All that's going through my head.... I've been dealing with depression ever since I can remember it's not at all something I am proud of....Espically since I get bullied and harassed a lot by classmates and others .......and ever since I've moved and changed schools my life has became my own hell...... And the only way I thought I could control my hell was to escape it...... Just for a while at least ......So I took the green scissors from the dresser and I took my right wrist and left.........I had disappeared.....My heart poured out as well as the blood from my wrist......And after I was finished....I asked for a bandaid ......and I cried harder knowing that no one cared......Oh I don't know where they are.......No why ifs or buts.........And they are the ones who say I was the crazy one as my eyes pleaded with them to understand how hurt I truly was behind those eyes ....The black eyes that disappeared to find help in her pain....... But they know now what I've done at least she knows .....he'll find out when he comes home .......heart broken he'll be .....he's tried several times to make me laugh smile be happy.......But I know he knew we both knew this wasn't working......When he asks to see the scars I'll show him....Knowing painfully Knowing I'm breaking the man who loves me the most...heart.....I guess I wait ...untill he shows ......there's nothing left to do but wait....... [s:sm3/1jw0]
    reply about 14 hours

    play online games