Meet New Friends!

Recommended friends are based on your interests. Make sure they are up to date.


Dear Dish-It: I'm Crushing On My Teacher

Dear Dish-It,

I have a mega-crush on my history teacher. I'm 14 and he's 26. I know nothing can happen between us. I think he kinda likes me – as a student, of course. I work hard in his lessons and do my best at the homework. I really, really like him, but I bet he won't ever find me even the slightest bit attractive. I wear a headscarf, you see, and girls like me… well, we're not really thought to be that… attractive. I can't ever admit I like him, because I'm afraid my friends will turn on me and it will change what my classmates think of me. Still, I always try to think of some sort of excuse to talk to him, but I don't overdo it. He’s taking my geography class on a four-day trip next year; I'm desperate to go but my parents won’t let me, no matter how much I ask them. I'm really confused, and don't know what to do! I go to a girls' school and I'm not allowed to talk to boys, so I can't "crush on boys my own age…" Any advice?


Dear Nova,

Sometimes I try to answer the questions I get from kids like you by going back to similar experiences I had when I was younger and trying to remember how I got through them. Unfortunately, sometimes there was no “answer,” and I got through those situations simply with the passing of time.

I remember having a HUGE crush on my camp counselor when I was about your age. It felt so great to be around him and to have him pay attention to me but, at the same time, it felt terrible because I knew the situation could never turn out the way I wanted it to in my daydreams. The age difference between us was just too big and it would have been extremely inappropriate for anything to happen considering the fact he was an adult in charge of kids, including me.

So I’m glad to see that in your letter you acknowledge the fact that nothing can ever transpire from this situation and your feelings for your teacher. And you know what? It has NOTHING to do with who you are or how you look or whether you wear a headscarf or not. TRUST ME. The ONLY reason nothing can happen is the fact that it would be extremely inappropriate for someone in a position of authority (like your teacher) to interact romantically with one of his students. It’s also inappropriate and ILLEGAL for someone over the age of 18 to have any sort of intimate contact or a romantic relationship with a girl who is under 18. He could get in BIG trouble for crossing this line.

The more you can come to terms with the fact that your relationship with your teacher must remain strictly professional – that is, a normal, appropriate student-teacher relationship – and nothing more, the more your feelings for him may fade. And, like I said of my own, similar experience with a camp counselor, time will pass and you will forget this feelings and move on to feel similarly about someone more appropriate who is closer to you in age. I promise.

It sounds like you’re worried that, because you don’t have anything else to distract you in terms of relationships and boys, you won’t be able to get your mind off your teacher. Well, there are several things you can do to help with that. I understand you go to an all-girls’ school, so there are no boys to interact with there. But is it possible to join an after-school and out-of-school group of some sort, something that interests you, where you could interact with some boys closer to your own age? Is there a sports team you can join? An art class? Photography lessons? A religious youth group of some sort?

You didn’t mention whether you and your family are very religious, and whether or not this is the reason you go to an all-girls’ school, wear a headscarf and are not allowed to go on overnight trips with your school. However, if this is the case, then I think what you need to do is continue to follow your religion and beliefs and respect your parents’ wishes. It sounds like you’re a good student and a very smart girl. If you continue doing your best in everything you do, including being a wonderful daughter, then I promise good things will come to you and life will bring you loads and loads of happiness and joy, including the joy of love when you are a bit older and more independent. For now, I’m afraid that going against your parents wishes will only cause you more pain and trouble. But with the passage of time comes change – all you need to do is continue doing your best, be patient and keep your hope and faith alive that someday all your dreams will come true.

Finally, I want you to stop being so hard on yourself. Having a crush on someone you admire, like your teacher, is a perfectly natural part of growing up – we ALL go through it. And wearing a headscarf doesn’t make you unattractive or un-anything for that matter. It’s a part of who you are and a part of your belief system (I think), and that makes it a perfectly acceptable and attractive part of who YOU are as a person. Just believe in yourself and you’ll see all the amazing things that unfold in your life.

If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.

More Advice From Dish-It:

  • Skipping Gym Class
  • All About PE Teachers
  • Brush Up On Your Study Skills
  • Biology Faux Pas


    latest videos


    Do You Have a Favorite Teacher?

    • Yeah, I have a favorite teacher.
    • No, I don't like any of my teachers.
    • I like all my teachers.
    • I'm home-schooled.

    related stories

    I am 14 and I really like my teacher who is 26. How can I act towards him to show t...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    bluehawk posted in Friends:
    You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it. Keep powering through it and stay strong. 
    reply 1 day
    hugebear posted in Friends:
    hello dish-it i hope i not bothering you.im rita im 16 year old and i have autism.i get bullyed a lot. this has been happening online.this girl said that i was crazy and that freddie mercury (queen lead singer) wouldnt love me cause i have autism.i am queen and freddie mercury's #1 fan.the girl said no body would believe me and it made me so upset i had a autistic meltdown.what do i do,please help.   That person what said that to you is the mean bully and she doesnt deserve your emotions.  I feels sorry for that girl that she has to make herself feel better by being nasty.  Gosh. If it was me I would say thank you very much for saying what you think and say thankfully I doesnt care what your sorry little opinions is.  The turn around and walk away and dont look back. You has the beautiful personality  and your loved.
    reply 2 days
    hugebear posted in Friends:
    I agrees with Kirsten and what does he say when he gives you the presents?
    reply 2 days
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    I've been there but I was lucky. This girl Amelia invited me to sit with her and her friends ................ Yeahbutnowshe'signoringallthetimeandsometimesblowsmeofftohangoutwiththisothernewgirldaniela andthenifoundoutshewasjustfakefriendingme Whatever. You could just try to say hi to someone who looks nice. Although I know how hard it is.
    reply 3 days
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    Tell that girl that she looks so horrible she makes roadkill look beautiful. Clap your hands really loud with nobody looking and then say "HEY WHY'D YOU HIT ME?" (Don't thank me thank Diary of a Wimpy Kid) Tell someone. Tell a teacher or somebody Or ignore that excuse for a person and get on with your life without her I mean, it.
    reply 3 days

    play online games