Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: My Ex Is Racist

Dear Dish-It,

I found out my crush told people that he hates white people just to get a rep and get popular. He wasn’t always like this – he used to be sweet. I thought we had something special – I’m crying right now just thinking about him. I'll never get over him. I just know it. I'm pretty sure I love him. Please tell me what to do. My soul has been crushed.

Heartshaddered


Dear Heartshaddered,


You forgot to mention in your question whether you broke up or stopped liking this guy because he told people he was racist but if that’s the case I have good news for you – you are a much, much better person than he is. Not only that, but you did the right thing and there are good things coming your way in the future.


Racism is no joke. Pretending to be racist to get attention or gain popularity is equally as bad as actually being a racist and having real feelings of hatred toward other people and doing racist acts just because of the color of their skin or the country they were born in or the religion they chose to practice. I am so happy that you are no longer with this person. He is a very confused guy and trust me, nothing good would come out of having any kind of relationship with him. It takes someone very sick to pretend to be something as horrible as a racist. I think your friend needs help or counseling.


As for you, I want you to believe me when I say this: YOU WILL GET OVER HIM. It doesn’t matter if you loved him or not and it doesn’t matter whether he used to be sweet or not and it doesn’t matter if you think you still have feelings for him or not. I know nothing anyone says and none of the normal advice and reassurance your friends and family give you after a break up can make you feel any better – they’re just words, and your feelings go much deeper than that. But you have to have faith and believe in a couple of things: that time will heal all wounds and that better things (including crushes, boyfriends and relationships) are just around the corner.


And, of course, you have to have more faith in yourself. You need to tell yourself over and over again, every time you think about this guy, every time you hear a song that reminds you of him and every time you find yourself crying over him – “I did the right thing. I am a better person for doing the right thing. Racism is wrong, no matter what shape or form it takes. It would have been a terrible disaster and mistake for me to keep being with a person like that. I believe in myself and I love myself. I am a good person and the universe always makes sure that good people get rewarded for their actions. It’s just a matter of being patient and it’s just a matter of time.”


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • Does Race Matter?
  • Understanding Islam
  • Unlikely Friendships
  • Black History Month
  • 6 Comments

    latest videos

    F1070667674359

    Do You Pray? Vote!

    • Yes, but only when I'm really scared or want something.
    • Yes, I pray all the time.
    • No, I don't believe in God.

    related stories

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    Everybodydotheflop
    At home I tend to talk a LOT, but  the complete opposite at school, this is the reason I have little to no friends, I used to have a best friend but she moved.
    reply about 4 hours
    lirescar789
    lirescar789 posted in Friends:
    Dear dish It: What'll should you do to be able to catch up with up with their topic cause when they'll ask, you're answering nonsense.. 
    reply about 17 hours
    IndigoTiger19
    Thanks so much delancy
    reply about 19 hours
    Delancy
    Delancy posted in Family Issues:
    Dear Friend, I am really sad about your matter. Ignore them. Yes, I do understand your feelings. You care for your family, everyone does. But Family isn't always right. If you pay attention to them you may get addicted to alc*hol too. It's normal for every person to care for their family, kith and kin. But not every person whom you care is good. I am totally not talking anything bad about your mom or you sister. But I've experienced this in my own family. Hope my message helped you out. It was a pleasure to help you out :) Thanks, Siyali (Delancy)
    reply about 19 hours
    IndigoTiger19
    I grew up around violence, dr*gs and alc*hol and my mum was always fighting and on dr*gs she stopped ages ago but still drink's sometimes and these days I still think she is doing dr*gs still. My sister is addicted to dr*gs (but I wont' say what kind ) and is using them nearly every day. I know I shouldn't be getting into my mum's/sisters business but I am really worried. The other day we went and picked up my sister (who is 22 just to let you know) to go and get something for here down the street and before she got out of the car she said to my mum have u got any dot and I knew what it meant I am really worried about them and don't know what to do.
    reply about 20 hours

    play online games