Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: How Do I Ask?

Is This Party Supervised?

Dear Dish-It,

I need help, obviously. My best (guy) friend said he'll probably invite me to his end-of-the-school-year party this June. I don't know when it is, but I've heard it's at his BFF's house -- a guy I don't like and my mom doesn't know (she'd never let me go to party if there are no parents there). How do I ask my friend if there will be adults there or not without sounding lame?

Soccerstarr22


Dear Soccerstarr22,


Great question! I bet a lot of kids your age would like to ask the same thing. I remember when I was younger my mom felt the exact same way that your mom does about parties I was invited to -- she'd only let me go if she knew that there would be adults around in case anything happened. At the time I thought that was really lame, but now that I think about it I know she was right to worry about something like that. If something bad did happen at one of those parties or if one of the kids who were there needed help, the rest of us wouldn't know what to do -- we were just too young. We'd need a responsible adult who knew what to do in case of an emergency.


Basically, this is a case of better safe than sorry.


Besides, I don't really see anything in your letter that indicates you are not OK with your mom's rules. It seems like asking her for her permission to go and making sure she is OK with the circumstances and the situation is important to you. I totally respect that and you are 100% right for being so responsible and respectful of your mom's wishes.


So in terms of how to find out whether or not there will be adults at your friend's BFF's end-of-the-school-year party, there are several things you can do. The first is to simply ask your friend to ask his friend what the deal is. I think you feel like asking straight out would be lame or would make your friend or his friend feel a certain way about you, but you may be surprised. It's a perfectly legitimate question and, depending on how you ask it, the guys may not even realize you're asking because you need to relay the information back to your mom.


Why not just ask, "Hey? Do you think there will be any parents or adults at the party?" If you ask casually, you don't even need to mention your mom. It could sound like a simple question out of the blue. If your friend replies with, "Why do you want to know?" you could choose to tell the truth ("My mom will only let me go if there are parents there"), leave out the part about your mom ("I'll only be able to go if there are parents there") or be a little more vague ("I don't know, I'm just asking").


If you really can't approach your friend with this question, why not try to find out through what we call "the grapevine?" That is, ask someone else you know is going to the party or keep your ears open to any conversation about the party among your friends that could reveal more info to you. However, if the only person who can tell you the truth or if the only person you are able to ask is your friend, then you're going to have to take a deep breath and just do it.


Whatever you do, don't betray and go against your mom's wishes. I know this from personal experience -- once your parents lose trust in you it's very hard to earn that trust back. If you lie to your mom and go to the party without telling her there won't be any adults there she won't believe you the next time you want to go to a party where parents will be present. It will become hard for her to believe anything you say if you lie to her about this.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • My Parents Are Ruining My Life
  • My Parents Are Crazy
  • My Parents Just Won't Listen
  • My Parents Are The Worst
  • >
    >

    readers voted!

    Comments

    BuzzJuzz

    BuzzJuzz wrote:

    This article is very obvious..like it!
    commented: Fri Aug 30, 2013

    mahtaby

    mahtaby wrote:

    I've never thought abt it!!
    commented: Fri Aug 23, 2013

    JennyD

    JennyD wrote:

    good
    commented: Tue Aug 06, 2013

    there are 16 more comments

    Please login or register to add comments

    share with your friends


    Twitter Facebook Myspace Digg


    like this article?
    get more just like it in your email

    Poll-1

    Parents - Strict or Laid-Back?

    • Laid-back - they let me do just about anything.
    • Strict - they monitor me all the time and are always on my case.
    • Somewhere in between. My parents like to know what I am up to, but aren't annoying.
    • They're always on my case cuz I'm always getting caught doing things I shouldn't.

    related stories

    latest videos

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    tanaj952
    tanaj952 posted in Friends:
    I think we all go through it,  I am right now. Keep your chin up, smile on, and remember that to be mean these girls have to sink pretty low, and if they are bullying you, YOU ARE ABOVE THEM!!!!! Keep your friends close, never forget to be who you are (as cheesy as it sounds, thats what I did and now I am really happy with loads of friends. I also told a teacher, she sorted it all out pretty quick to.) . Last thing-tell a teacher. I did, and she talked to the mean girl. Now everyone knows I'm not afraid to do it, either. Bad times will pass, and good ones will come. Look after yourself. Xx. *virtual hugs*
    reply about 5 hours
    rainbowloomer13
    rainbowloomer13 posted in Style:
    somewhere in between. because I like sports and going outside. but I do care about the way I look sometimes.  
    reply about 8 hours
    Kirsteeeeen
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
    Sure, I wear them a lot.  As long as you're not wearing the really tight kind, which should go with a dress or skirt or something, it's totally cool.
    reply about 11 hours
    Kirsteeeeen
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
    Robotics t-shirt and yellow floral shorts.
    reply about 11 hours
    OverTheMoon
    OverTheMoon posted in Style:
    leggings
    reply about 12 hours

    play online games

    Candy-100

    A great online version of the famous Candy Crush. This is the best game launched...

    1515_gl_kidzworld_100x100_jpg_fz

    Intriguing planets, weird and wonderful characters; challenge friends and find a...

    100x100_ra_logo_girl

    Uncle George has left you his farm, but unfortunately it’s in pretty bad shape. ...

    _thumb_100x100

    Shoot blobs with different properies to merge yellow blobs. Your blobs can be re...

    _thumb_100x100

    We have all played the famous game Sudoku, now play it online with this Classic ...