Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: They Don't Like My Music

Dear Dish-It: They Don't Like My Music
Dear Dish-It: They Don't Like My Music

Dear Dish-It,

At my school everyone is always talking about who their favorite singers are and I am scared to tell them mine because I am afraid that they might make fun of me or something. What should I do?

MJLOVER


Dear MJLOVER,


In your question you talk about your musical tastes, but the same advice can apply to anything about yourself that you feel ashamed of or that you think, by revealing to others, will put you in a position where you’ll be made fun of, picked on or bullied. The first and most important thing you need to know is that no one has the right to make fun of you or make you feel bad just because what you think or do or like or don’t like is different from what they think or do or like or don’t like. The second thing is, unless you join in the conversation at school about music and singers, how will you ever really know how your friends will feel about your opinion? By not saying anything, you’re actually excluding yourself (rather than being excluded by others). I think this may be an issue of self-confidence that has everything to do with you and nothing to do with the kids at your school.


Be Proud Of YOU!

If you don’t like yourself – and everything that makes you YOU and unique – then who will? Everything about you – from your taste in music to the way you treat other people – makes you a special person in the world, unlike any other. So be proud of what you are – and be proud of what you like! If you feel like joining in on the conversation at school about music, go right ahead! Maybe you’ll find there are other kids who like the same songs and artists that you do, and you’ll make some new friends? And if anyone does make fun of your preferences, well, there’s something wrong with them, not you, and it’s not something you need to worry about.


Kids Can Be Cruel

For some reason (maybe it’s due to the pressure at school to fit in, or maybe it’s because your own personality and sense of self is still forming and very fragile when you’re young), kids have a bad reputation for being mean to each other. Not that some adults are any better, but lots of times as you grow up and learn to love yourself more and more you become more tolerant and accepting of other people and the differences you may have with them. That is, between two adults a difference in musical taste is usually not a big deal or something that will get someone made fun of, but between kids it does seem like a bigger deal in terms of being accepted in the group. Just remember, we all eventually grow up and learn these lessons; if the kids at your school do end up making fun of you for the music you listen to, try being the bigger (more adult) person and: a) don’t let it get to you, b) don’t retaliate or be mean to get back at anyone and c) don’t apologize or make excuses for what you like. If you do, the other kids will use your lack of confidence to put you down. Take what they say as a fact, not an accusation. So instead of reacting to "You really like that singer?" with a long-winded explanation, simply say, "Yes, I do!" You don't need to apologize for who you are. You'd be surprised at how far a little confidence can go. Good luck, and listen to what you want!



My final point is this: there will always be someone who wants to make a big deal out of the differences between you and him or her. If you think differently, you're singled out. If you dress differently, you're singled out. If you're like everyone else, however, you blend right in. So it's up to you. Do you want to be like everyone else? Do you want to follow only what is popular? Or do you want to be you? Do you want to be happy listening to the tunes you love? If the answer is yes, tell the bullies to leave you alone. It doesn't matter what they say – you're not going to change who you are! They're just wasting their breath. Maybe they'll still tease you. Just remember that being different, being who you are, will always be under scrutiny. The key, I think, is to find friends like you so that you know you are not alone. Be strong! Blast your music in your bedroom and know that no one in this world can change you. Besides, you're already perfect. And by that I mean perfection is being just who you are – and loving every little thing about you.


More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • What’s A Bully?
  • The Bully Factor
  • I’m Having Problems At School
  • I’m Getting Picked On


  • readers voted!

    Comments

    BellePrincessxoxoHoran_2101630
    U must not care what other people think! music is the way to express our feelings! be proud to say who u like!
    commented: Fri Apr 20, 2012

    raerae bodge

    raerae bodge wrote:

    I think just hold your head up high and say what ur fav singer is if they make fun of u say who ccares every 1 has a fav singer anyway
    commented: Sat Apr 07, 2012

    CookieAngel

    CookieAngel wrote:

    If Someone Says 'You Have No Taste', That's Stupid. Everyone Has Their Own Style
    commented: Thu Jun 09, 2011

    there are 4 more comments

    Please login or register to add comments


    like this article?
    Sign up now to get more just like it!

    latest videos

    F1001977856676

    What Kind of Music Do Ya Dig?

    • Rock or alternative is my fave.
    • Pure pop baby!
    • Electronica is my kinda groove.
    • I'm into country - yee ha!

    related stories

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    Sakura-Usagi
    This would be quite odd behaviour, especially if this is the first time he's done it. You should talk to someone, like your mom? Or report it to a child safety website?
    reply 23 minutes
    AquaBubblez
    If this contuines call KIDS HELP LINE right away, because that is not right. Adults should respect kids how they want you to treat them
    reply about 1 hour
    jordand08
    Hi so many of you know me, because I'm mostly trying to help others, but I just need help. I'll try to explain best I can. Okay, yestrday I came home from work, and went over to my neighbors. I wasn't in my room long enough for a minute until my dad came busting in, extemely mad, and um, #####. Not even explaining himself, he just went on a rampage and threw away a lot of my stuff, while I was in the shower. I've never seen his anger like this, not to me at least. And, I just don't know what to do, because I hate to admt it but I'm scared... So.. any suggestions? thanks.
    reply about 15 hours
    Kirsteeeeen
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    Cyberbullying is just as serious as bullying offline. You should report them, block, and ignore. But if it's a continuous thing you should talk to an adult about it! It doesn't matter if you're on the other side of the world, there are many things law enforcement, even worldwide, can do to take steps in making sure it stops and doesn't happen to anyone else.
    reply about 17 hours
    Jelly3
    Jelly3 posted in Style:
    One braid :p 
    reply about 21 hours

    play online games

    Valantine-day-crossword-thumb

    Valentine's Day is almost here! Time for candy, hearts, flowers, love and, of co...

    Goodgameempire-thumb

    Goodgame Empire is a great strategy title by Goodgame Studios. Build your own ca...

    Black-history-month-crossword-pre

    Black History Month is a time to celebrate the amazing contributions of African ...

    Big-farm-thumb

    Uncle George has left you his farm, but unfortunately it’s in pretty bad shape. ...

    Candy-cash-thumb

    Candy's got her candies into a terrible mess, can you help her to sort them out?

    Candy-100

    A great online version of the famous Candy Crush. This is the best game launched...

    _thumb_100x100

    Bloons 2 is here! A worthy and awesome sequel at last to our original Bloons gam...

    Frostbox_100x100

    Explore the world or hang out with friends in your own condo. Get a unique look,...