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Dear Dish-It: They Don't Like My Music

Dear Dish-It,

At my school everyone is always talking about who their favorite singers are and I am scared to tell them mine because I am afraid that they might make fun of me or something. What should I do?

MJLOVER


Dear MJLOVER,


In your question you talk about your musical tastes, but the same advice can apply to anything about yourself that you feel ashamed of or that you think, by revealing to others, will put you in a position where you’ll be made fun of, picked on or bullied. The first and most important thing you need to know is that no one has the right to make fun of you or make you feel bad just because what you think or do or like or don’t like is different from what they think or do or like or don’t like. The second thing is, unless you join in the conversation at school about music and singers, how will you ever really know how your friends will feel about your opinion? By not saying anything, you’re actually excluding yourself (rather than being excluded by others). I think this may be an issue of self-confidence that has everything to do with you and nothing to do with the kids at your school.


Be Proud Of YOU!

If you don’t like yourself – and everything that makes you YOU and unique – then who will? Everything about you – from your taste in music to the way you treat other people – makes you a special person in the world, unlike any other. So be proud of what you are – and be proud of what you like! If you feel like joining in on the conversation at school about music, go right ahead! Maybe you’ll find there are other kids who like the same songs and artists that you do, and you’ll make some new friends? And if anyone does make fun of your preferences, well, there’s something wrong with them, not you, and it’s not something you need to worry about.


Kids Can Be Cruel

For some reason (maybe it’s due to the pressure at school to fit in, or maybe it’s because your own personality and sense of self is still forming and very fragile when you’re young), kids have a bad reputation for being mean to each other. Not that some adults are any better, but lots of times as you grow up and learn to love yourself more and more you become more tolerant and accepting of other people and the differences you may have with them. That is, between two adults a difference in musical taste is usually not a big deal or something that will get someone made fun of, but between kids it does seem like a bigger deal in terms of being accepted in the group. Just remember, we all eventually grow up and learn these lessons; if the kids at your school do end up making fun of you for the music you listen to, try being the bigger (more adult) person and: a) don’t let it get to you, b) don’t retaliate or be mean to get back at anyone and c) don’t apologize or make excuses for what you like. If you do, the other kids will use your lack of confidence to put you down. Take what they say as a fact, not an accusation. So instead of reacting to "You really like that singer?" with a long-winded explanation, simply say, "Yes, I do!" You don't need to apologize for who you are. You'd be surprised at how far a little confidence can go. Good luck, and listen to what you want!



My final point is this: there will always be someone who wants to make a big deal out of the differences between you and him or her. If you think differently, you're singled out. If you dress differently, you're singled out. If you're like everyone else, however, you blend right in. So it's up to you. Do you want to be like everyone else? Do you want to follow only what is popular? Or do you want to be you? Do you want to be happy listening to the tunes you love? If the answer is yes, tell the bullies to leave you alone. It doesn't matter what they say – you're not going to change who you are! They're just wasting their breath. Maybe they'll still tease you. Just remember that being different, being who you are, will always be under scrutiny. The key, I think, is to find friends like you so that you know you are not alone. Be strong! Blast your music in your bedroom and know that no one in this world can change you. Besides, you're already perfect. And by that I mean perfection is being just who you are – and loving every little thing about you.


More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • What’s A Bully?
  • The Bully Factor
  • I’m Having Problems At School
  • I’m Getting Picked On


  • 4 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    partydiva01
    partydiva01 posted in Friends:
    Dear dish it, my friend first met eachother on the first day of kindergarten we sat next to one another and we became close. we were BFF's throughout 1st to 2nd grades. then, the second grade teacher realized there were alot of kids in the class. and same w the 3rd grade teacher. so, we had to have a split class. my friend was in the split. I was not. It all seemed like the teachers were doing somthing... weired. all the girls (well, almost there were only 6 girls on one half) were in the split. and all the boys were in regular . AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WAS WEIRED! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( all the boy BFF's and the girl BFF's were SPLIT. me and my friend,kids named Nia & Georgia, Isaac& Ethan, and more. it was so sad for all of us.2 months later, I got homschooled. 2 years later im back in public with my 4th grade self. everything had changed. a bunch of people were obsessed w\ a girl my age named kassidy. im neighbors w\ kassidy and she is REALLY cool and nice. but the whole I  [s:sm3/1jw1] kassidy crew got mean. if I asked them to play they would say. "If Kassidy is playing I will" or I would want to be parteners with kassidy on something and they would freak out. anyway jasmine NEVER invited my to anything, and I am trying to be nice to her ( ice cream money, homework help, comfort when sad, ect.) And not to mention I invited her to 3 things!!! on the bright side she came to 2 :thumbsup :thumbsup she also embarassed me by saying that she was moving I freaked out  because I cared about her and I would cry all the time. I even held onto her and said sadly, "PLEASE DON'T GO!!  :sad :sad . later i found out that she was not moving, she was going to CA for a vacation. even the teacher was in on it!! :mad :mad anyways, my parents told me that i should just let go of her. But i am not ready. HELP??? :e :e :e :e :e
    reply 4 days
    PittsburghPenguinsFanatic
    When I was a child I wanted glasses SOO bad, cuz I wanted to copy my mom and sister. And also, I thought they looked cool. I wear glasses now. I have had them for 2 years and honestly I don't mind them. Although, this year I am gonna pry get contacts for swimming better and stuff like that. But if you don't need glasses I wouldn't recommend wearing them. They're not bad, but trust me after a while you will pry not like them as much. But hey, that's my opinion. If you want to do it I'm not gonna stop you. Do what makes you happy in the long run. And tell your friends that they are non prescription if you don't need them, but still get some.
    reply 4 days
    Bratayley_Fan_7
    She is not. I have faced this problem before so I know. You should make a new friend!
    reply 4 days
    ValenciaRose
    ValenciaRose posted in Friends:
    I agree I was afraid of that first too. Eventually I just began inviting my friends over and they don't use it/practically obsess over it like I do but they understood why I use kidzworld and not many other forms of social media. 
    reply 4 days
    ValenciaRose
    ValenciaRose posted in Friends:
    "btw_sports_rule" wrote:I really like a guy and people think he likes me. I like him but im really scared to tell anyone. I really need help but i don't know who to talk to. I can't talk to parents. They would put me in trouble for falling in love. They believe I can't date until age 20. Aw, well, my advice for you would be to talk to your parents about it. There's no point trying to sneak around like those films and it is better for your mind if you talk to them about it. It can be super difficult I know but if you and your parents get along really well then you guys can talk about it and make it work. On the other hand, if your parents ban you from falling in love as you put it, then I think it's better just to stay as friends with him. 
    reply 4 days