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Dear Dish-It: He Cheated On Me Twice

Dear Dish-It,

my boyfriand hase cheated on me twice and i dont kno wat to do?

emochik1214


Dear EC1214,


Ditch him. You’re wasting you’re time with someone who doesn’t care about you – time you could be spending enjoying your life, your family, your friends or potentially finding someone who will treat you with more respect. Plus, there’s always that old saying you can think about: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” That means the first time your boyfriend betrayed you, it was possible for you to accept him back into your life. But the second time it happens, if you accept him back again, you only have yourself to blame – because he will likely do it to you again.


I know it’s easier said than done. I hear it all the time (I’ve even heard myself say it!). But you love him and there’s history there – it’s hard to just give all your feelings for this guy up and leave him. Trust me, those are just excuses – excuses because you’re likely scared to move on into the unknown. I remember feeling like I’d never meet anyone else if I left my boyfriend, no matter how badly he was treating me. Well, I’m here to tell you that’s simply not true. There’s always someone else. And, more importantly, you’ll always have yourself. That may not seem like much, but it’s actually everything in the world.


10 Tips On Dealing With A Cheater

  1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings of anger, sadness and disappointment over the betrayal.
  2. Don't blame yourself for his actions. Remember that you can't be responsible for anyone's behavior other than your own.
  3. Try to set aside your emotions and look at the situation from an outsider's point of view. What advice would you give to your friend?
  4. Evaluate whether his behavior has permanently destroyed your trust in him and in your relationship. Do you believe he won't repeat his actions in the future?
  5. Confront your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you feel about his actions. Let him know that cheating is not acceptable behavior in your relationship.
  6. If you feel you need to know why he cheated on you to obtain closure for yourself, listen to his explanations about his behavior. Remember that listening does not mean you condone, agree with or accept his behavior.
  7. Don't allow him to manipulate your feelings with sweet words of apology or promises never to cheat on you again. Be realistic. Do you honestly believe this was a one-time event, or do your instincts tell you that he'll probably cheat on you again in the future?
  8. Ask yourself if you would be better off with him or without him. Can you continue to enjoy the relationship, knowing about the betrayal?
  9. Find a constructive outlet for your emotions of disappointment and anger.
  10. Give yourself time to grieve over the betrayal. Whether you stay with him or not, forgive him for his actions so you can heal and move on with your life.

More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • Dumped Before Valentines Day
  • Cheating Ex Dating BFF
  • Am I Cheating?
  • I Know He’s Cheating


  • 95 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    @country_girl19, I agree with Athena. She might not realize how she's making you feel and it's best to talk to her about it, if not it could get worse. If nothing changes after talking with her, then I think you should rethink things. @WatermelonCurlz, I don't really think you should hang around them that much. They don't listen to you or seem to really care about the fact that you've talked about getting different friends. I'm not saying to just cut them off all together, but I wouldn't stray from the idea of slowly distancing yourself.
    reply about 16 hours
    JazzyRox
    JazzyRox posted in Friends:
    "WatermelonCurlz" wrote:OMG! OK so, I have a group to 3 friends (not including me) and they love this video game that I'm not allowed to play. And they know that, so they talk about it purposely around me. Omg, ikr.When I ask to talk about something else the ignore me. So I say, I'm going to go find real friends, and they say, OK, like me care. And that's all they want to talk about, at recess, lunch, secretly in class, you name it thye do it. How do I get them to stop?   You should probably just stop talking to them and stuff. don't sit by them at lunch and don't hang out with them at recess. they sound like they are not good friends. if it gets worse, just tell your parents if they don't already know. idk how good i am at advise. hope this helped.  ~JazzyRox
    reply about 16 hours
    WatermelonCurlz
    OMG!OK so, I have a group to 3 friends (not including me) and they love this video game that I'm not allowed to play. And they know that, so they talk about it purposely around me. Omg, ikr.When I ask to talk about something else the ignore me. So I say, I'm going to go find real friends, and they say, OK, like me care. And that's all they want to talk about, at recess, lunch, secretly in class, you name it thye do it. How do I get them to stop?
    reply about 17 hours
    Abbergrl
    Well I strongly agree with you all. It's like, wow I never knew so many people had this problem!
    reply 2 days
    Abbergrl
    Abbergrl posted in Friends:
    A perfect friend is one who respects your feelings and doesn't make fun of them but helps you feel better, who can drive you only slightly insane, and who will try to save you from embarrassing situations by making you see the funny side. :) :D
    reply 2 days