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Dear Dish-It: He Cheated On Me Twice

Dear Dish-It,

my boyfriand hase cheated on me twice and i dont kno wat to do?

emochik1214


Dear EC1214,


Ditch him. You’re wasting you’re time with someone who doesn’t care about you – time you could be spending enjoying your life, your family, your friends or potentially finding someone who will treat you with more respect. Plus, there’s always that old saying you can think about: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” That means the first time your boyfriend betrayed you, it was possible for you to accept him back into your life. But the second time it happens, if you accept him back again, you only have yourself to blame – because he will likely do it to you again.


I know it’s easier said than done. I hear it all the time (I’ve even heard myself say it!). But you love him and there’s history there – it’s hard to just give all your feelings for this guy up and leave him. Trust me, those are just excuses – excuses because you’re likely scared to move on into the unknown. I remember feeling like I’d never meet anyone else if I left my boyfriend, no matter how badly he was treating me. Well, I’m here to tell you that’s simply not true. There’s always someone else. And, more importantly, you’ll always have yourself. That may not seem like much, but it’s actually everything in the world.


10 Tips On Dealing With A Cheater

  1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings of anger, sadness and disappointment over the betrayal.
  2. Don't blame yourself for his actions. Remember that you can't be responsible for anyone's behavior other than your own.
  3. Try to set aside your emotions and look at the situation from an outsider's point of view. What advice would you give to your friend?
  4. Evaluate whether his behavior has permanently destroyed your trust in him and in your relationship. Do you believe he won't repeat his actions in the future?
  5. Confront your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you feel about his actions. Let him know that cheating is not acceptable behavior in your relationship.
  6. If you feel you need to know why he cheated on you to obtain closure for yourself, listen to his explanations about his behavior. Remember that listening does not mean you condone, agree with or accept his behavior.
  7. Don't allow him to manipulate your feelings with sweet words of apology or promises never to cheat on you again. Be realistic. Do you honestly believe this was a one-time event, or do your instincts tell you that he'll probably cheat on you again in the future?
  8. Ask yourself if you would be better off with him or without him. Can you continue to enjoy the relationship, knowing about the betrayal?
  9. Find a constructive outlet for your emotions of disappointment and anger.
  10. Give yourself time to grieve over the betrayal. Whether you stay with him or not, forgive him for his actions so you can heal and move on with your life.

More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • Dumped Before Valentines Day
  • Cheating Ex Dating BFF
  • Am I Cheating?
  • I Know He’s Cheating


  • 95 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Abbergrl
    Abbergrl posted in Family Issues:
    My mom can be that way too. There's nothing like that, you're exagerating, you dont even know what you're talking about. When all tthaat time I was going through it. She didn't have a clue honestly.
    reply about 18 hours
    StarrChild
    Two years ago my parents broke up. I was never really the same after that point. My mother she began to just not care about anything. She would go out clubbing every Friday and would yell at me for my attitude towards it. Why would I be okay with her doing that??? I didn't really realise it but I began feeling kind of depressed. Of course we didn't fight all the time but when we did I would always end up crying alone in my room. And it would be really painful. One time I cried every night for a week because of her. A week ago, I felt really sick at school so I went to the sick bay but my Mum refused to believe I was sick. She thought I was lying and being over dramatic as usual. I felt really horrible after that, that the teacher sent me to the guidance councellor and almost immediately I burst into tears. I didn't even know why I did but the councellor did a little test on me and came to the conclusion I was slightly depressed and had anxiety. It wasn't really surprising but hearing it out loud just felt really weird. Even after knowing that fact my mother doesn't really act any different. She's not a bad person I swear but she can just be really horrible at times. Anyways, that's technically whats been happening in my life lol. Nothing really interesting
    reply about 19 hours
    Froggers
    theres this guy that i really REALLY like, im not sure if he likes me back. i put my mobile # on a piece of paper and slipped it in his locker, he hasn't texted or called me yet. Today at lunch i asked his friend to ask if he likes anyone but his friend keeps lying to me and won't tell me if he said anything. The guy and I were best friends in 5th grade but now that we're in different classes we don't talk much anymore. My friends said that i have a chance with him and that we have a lot in common, but im pretty sure he likes this other girl but im also pretty sure he likes me. I want to make a move but i don't wanna end our friendship i don't know what to do.
    reply 1 day
    LUCYQWERTY123
    LUCYQWERTY123 posted in Friends:
    it can be anyone u want but it should be someone who has the true friendship qualities and trust-worhtiness :) :)
    reply 1 day
    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    It's good to have both to talk too about things. But, what's the point of being with someone if you can't trust them enough to even tell them things?
    reply 1 day