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Dear Dish-It: He Cheated On Me Twice

Dear Dish-It,

my boyfriand hase cheated on me twice and i dont kno wat to do?

emochik1214


Dear EC1214,


Ditch him. You’re wasting you’re time with someone who doesn’t care about you – time you could be spending enjoying your life, your family, your friends or potentially finding someone who will treat you with more respect. Plus, there’s always that old saying you can think about: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” That means the first time your boyfriend betrayed you, it was possible for you to accept him back into your life. But the second time it happens, if you accept him back again, you only have yourself to blame – because he will likely do it to you again.


I know it’s easier said than done. I hear it all the time (I’ve even heard myself say it!). But you love him and there’s history there – it’s hard to just give all your feelings for this guy up and leave him. Trust me, those are just excuses – excuses because you’re likely scared to move on into the unknown. I remember feeling like I’d never meet anyone else if I left my boyfriend, no matter how badly he was treating me. Well, I’m here to tell you that’s simply not true. There’s always someone else. And, more importantly, you’ll always have yourself. That may not seem like much, but it’s actually everything in the world.


10 Tips On Dealing With A Cheater

  1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings of anger, sadness and disappointment over the betrayal.
  2. Don't blame yourself for his actions. Remember that you can't be responsible for anyone's behavior other than your own.
  3. Try to set aside your emotions and look at the situation from an outsider's point of view. What advice would you give to your friend?
  4. Evaluate whether his behavior has permanently destroyed your trust in him and in your relationship. Do you believe he won't repeat his actions in the future?
  5. Confront your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you feel about his actions. Let him know that cheating is not acceptable behavior in your relationship.
  6. If you feel you need to know why he cheated on you to obtain closure for yourself, listen to his explanations about his behavior. Remember that listening does not mean you condone, agree with or accept his behavior.
  7. Don't allow him to manipulate your feelings with sweet words of apology or promises never to cheat on you again. Be realistic. Do you honestly believe this was a one-time event, or do your instincts tell you that he'll probably cheat on you again in the future?
  8. Ask yourself if you would be better off with him or without him. Can you continue to enjoy the relationship, knowing about the betrayal?
  9. Find a constructive outlet for your emotions of disappointment and anger.
  10. Give yourself time to grieve over the betrayal. Whether you stay with him or not, forgive him for his actions so you can heal and move on with your life.

More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • Dumped Before Valentines Day
  • Cheating Ex Dating BFF
  • Am I Cheating?
  • I Know He’s Cheating


  • 95 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Kirsteeeeen
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    I hope you don't mind that I moved this to friends, but I thought it'd be more fitting since your question seems mainly friendship based. :) Do you mind being younger than your classmates? Do you feel it inhibits your school experience? I think you should do what feels best to you, whether that be staying behind because friendship has a big impact, or continuing ahead if you prioritize academic growth. Only you know what's right for you. :p If it's any help, I left high school early and went to college. I was already used to being the youngest in my class so it wasn't a huge jump socially, and I found a lot of friends of all ages. :D With that being said, I do still miss being with people my age but it's too late to go back and I wouldn't trade my experience for the world.
    reply about 9 hours
    YassenGregorovich
    I'm 13 and will be going on to 9th grade. I skipped kindergarted  :p and 5th grade. So I'm a lot younger then most of my classmates will be. I'm thinking of repeating 8th grade so I will be more of the same age as the other people in my class. But I'm not sure if I should because I got a B+ or A- average in 8th grade. I need some advice on this. Sorry if this is the wrong section for this I just thought general was the right place. Thanks!  :D
    reply about 24 hours
    aftershock
    aftershock posted in Style:
    Thanks all of you guys for your responses. It seems many of you don't share pics to get help from friends when you're choosing. Thats OK. If anyone does want to go on the VIP list to be the first to try the new app then feel free to complete the info form here: http://goo.gl/forms/FOiKWa4DoAQHxtOx1 
    reply 1 day
    CoolerThanMyself
    I'm a 12 year old girl with really strict parents! I do chores( even handling BLEACH sometimes) , I take care of my little brother, I'm in top set for all my classes- even on the gifted and talented register and I've only ever had 1 detention- and that was their fault anyway bc I was late( they drive). But, I'm still NEVER allowed out with my friends! My friends are all in top sets as well, are well behaved and all we literally would do is window shopping. I mean, there are my age smoking shisha and doing #####- they should be lucky I'm not a delinquent! But my parents always say I can't hang out. Not because they're worried about my safety, they just dont want me to go out.! Even sleepovers, my parents always say no because they ' haven't met the parents" but they make NO effort to do so. I'm losing out on knowing my friends better and whilst they're all making best friends, at school I'm just the person in the background- the left out friend. It hurts and most of the time I wish I was fostered or something. How can I make them loosen up? ( don't say anything about sneaking out because I chose life)
    reply 2 days
    Corps
    Corps posted in Style:
    Thank You Mate :)
    reply 3 days