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Dear Dish-It: He Cheated On Me Twice

Dear Dish-It,

my boyfriand hase cheated on me twice and i dont kno wat to do?


Dear EC1214,

Ditch him. You’re wasting you’re time with someone who doesn’t care about you – time you could be spending enjoying your life, your family, your friends or potentially finding someone who will treat you with more respect. Plus, there’s always that old saying you can think about: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” That means the first time your boyfriend betrayed you, it was possible for you to accept him back into your life. But the second time it happens, if you accept him back again, you only have yourself to blame – because he will likely do it to you again.

I know it’s easier said than done. I hear it all the time (I’ve even heard myself say it!). But you love him and there’s history there – it’s hard to just give all your feelings for this guy up and leave him. Trust me, those are just excuses – excuses because you’re likely scared to move on into the unknown. I remember feeling like I’d never meet anyone else if I left my boyfriend, no matter how badly he was treating me. Well, I’m here to tell you that’s simply not true. There’s always someone else. And, more importantly, you’ll always have yourself. That may not seem like much, but it’s actually everything in the world.

10 Tips On Dealing With A Cheater

  1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings of anger, sadness and disappointment over the betrayal.
  2. Don't blame yourself for his actions. Remember that you can't be responsible for anyone's behavior other than your own.
  3. Try to set aside your emotions and look at the situation from an outsider's point of view. What advice would you give to your friend?
  4. Evaluate whether his behavior has permanently destroyed your trust in him and in your relationship. Do you believe he won't repeat his actions in the future?
  5. Confront your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you feel about his actions. Let him know that cheating is not acceptable behavior in your relationship.
  6. If you feel you need to know why he cheated on you to obtain closure for yourself, listen to his explanations about his behavior. Remember that listening does not mean you condone, agree with or accept his behavior.
  7. Don't allow him to manipulate your feelings with sweet words of apology or promises never to cheat on you again. Be realistic. Do you honestly believe this was a one-time event, or do your instincts tell you that he'll probably cheat on you again in the future?
  8. Ask yourself if you would be better off with him or without him. Can you continue to enjoy the relationship, knowing about the betrayal?
  9. Find a constructive outlet for your emotions of disappointment and anger.
  10. Give yourself time to grieve over the betrayal. Whether you stay with him or not, forgive him for his actions so you can heal and move on with your life.

More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • Dumped Before Valentines Day
  • Cheating Ex Dating BFF
  • Am I Cheating?
  • I Know He’s Cheating


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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    Dear Dish-it, i always wanted to be in a band but my parents are saying you should forget about that, you should get a real future. I have fought my case by they just get it.  Please help me Bye
    reply about 11 hours
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    Maybe he likes you, as a friend or as more.
    reply 1 day
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    Friends grow apart as we grow up and change at different rates. It's fine to stop being friends, but it doesn't have to be in a mean way. The best thing to do is talk to her (nicely). You don't have to tell her she's being childish or you feel as if you've matured more. That would be terrible. Talk about things you guys like to do in common or make plans to try new things together. Or don't mention it at all, but don't just begin ignoring her. Eventually the friendship will fade the less time you spend together. 
    reply 1 day
    Amalegend20 posted in Friends:
    You should be nice to her. If you have to break the news gently don't make her feel bad just talk to her about and see what she says  
    reply 1 day
    hugebear posted in Friends:
    My bff and I were best friends but weve grown apart im getting older and she still wants to do kid stuff I have new friends now I feel like im being mean to her but like doesn't she get the memo I feel both guilty and mad:} Gosh.... put the shoe on  the other foot and see how would you feel if your bff done this on you. You has been bffs for the long time [Im guessing] and your maturing faster than her.  I agrees you are being mean to her if you doesnt discuss how your feeling with her and ignoring / avoiding her or whatever your doing.    She has been the good friend to you and she deserves to understand if you is growing up faster than her.  I really feels sad for how she could be feeling right now. She didnt do anything wrong.  You changed. Not her. Please be nice to your friend/ex friend and let her down gently [if you really has to] ^^ Me opinion  
    reply 2 days

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