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Dear Dish-It: He Cheated On Me Twice

Dear Dish-It,

my boyfriand hase cheated on me twice and i dont kno wat to do?

emochik1214


Dear EC1214,


Ditch him. You’re wasting you’re time with someone who doesn’t care about you – time you could be spending enjoying your life, your family, your friends or potentially finding someone who will treat you with more respect. Plus, there’s always that old saying you can think about: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” That means the first time your boyfriend betrayed you, it was possible for you to accept him back into your life. But the second time it happens, if you accept him back again, you only have yourself to blame – because he will likely do it to you again.


I know it’s easier said than done. I hear it all the time (I’ve even heard myself say it!). But you love him and there’s history there – it’s hard to just give all your feelings for this guy up and leave him. Trust me, those are just excuses – excuses because you’re likely scared to move on into the unknown. I remember feeling like I’d never meet anyone else if I left my boyfriend, no matter how badly he was treating me. Well, I’m here to tell you that’s simply not true. There’s always someone else. And, more importantly, you’ll always have yourself. That may not seem like much, but it’s actually everything in the world.


10 Tips On Dealing With A Cheater

  1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings of anger, sadness and disappointment over the betrayal.
  2. Don't blame yourself for his actions. Remember that you can't be responsible for anyone's behavior other than your own.
  3. Try to set aside your emotions and look at the situation from an outsider's point of view. What advice would you give to your friend?
  4. Evaluate whether his behavior has permanently destroyed your trust in him and in your relationship. Do you believe he won't repeat his actions in the future?
  5. Confront your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you feel about his actions. Let him know that cheating is not acceptable behavior in your relationship.
  6. If you feel you need to know why he cheated on you to obtain closure for yourself, listen to his explanations about his behavior. Remember that listening does not mean you condone, agree with or accept his behavior.
  7. Don't allow him to manipulate your feelings with sweet words of apology or promises never to cheat on you again. Be realistic. Do you honestly believe this was a one-time event, or do your instincts tell you that he'll probably cheat on you again in the future?
  8. Ask yourself if you would be better off with him or without him. Can you continue to enjoy the relationship, knowing about the betrayal?
  9. Find a constructive outlet for your emotions of disappointment and anger.
  10. Give yourself time to grieve over the betrayal. Whether you stay with him or not, forgive him for his actions so you can heal and move on with your life.

More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • Dumped Before Valentines Day
  • Cheating Ex Dating BFF
  • Am I Cheating?
  • I Know He’s Cheating


  • 94 Comments

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    KeepOnSmiling
    KeepOnSmiling posted in Friends:
    There is this guy at my school know my best friend likes, the problem is I like him as well and I think he may have been flirting with me. My friend says its okay but I don't think she's being honest. He's the first guy that I've liked that actually notices me. I like him but I don't want to lose my best friend. What do I do?
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    KeepOnSmiling
    KeepOnSmiling posted in Friends:
    There is this guy at my school know my best friend likes, the problem is I like him as well and I think he may have been flirting with me. My friend says its okay but I don't think she's being honest. He's the first guy that I've liked that actually notices me. I like him but I don't want to lose my best friend. What do I do?
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    Alexis7343
    Alexis7343 posted in Friends:
    Yes, both online and in person. It sucks when they say i did it its just they bullied me and I got back at them just 10x harder! I'm a nice person but I can be a real stuck up B!^** if you wanna mess with me. If I get back at you your gonna get it bad.
    reply about 8 hours
    GlimmeringSky16
    Not really throughout my life but I guess since bullying is repeated teasing, once in fifth grade these kids made up the joke that my name(Su for those you that don't know) stood for StupidUgly, which I mean wasn't THAT bad but I was like what, 10 xD I mean I let it roll off but did end up crying in the shower once. My mom caught me and made me explain everything and made it better. So really, instead of hiding it I recommend talking to an adult about it if you're ever bullied, even tho keeping it a secret may seem like a good idea.  Ever since then I've never been bullied. I'm thankful fo that c;
    reply about 9 hours
    ha1l13
    ha1l13 posted in Friends:
    YEs I have been bullied. A lot. People who I think are my friends are back stabbers. They suddenly just like turn on me. I've had rumoursspread about me and I was so sad. I hated being bullied. But the best thing to do if you are being bullied is to hold your head high and not cry. Because if you show a single tear that is what the bully wants And it will take you as an easy target and will bully you more and more and more and more. And bullies won't stop until you stand up to them.
    reply about 9 hours

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