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Dear Dish-It: Four-Year Crush

Dear Dish-It,

OK, so, last year, everybody thought this one dude and I would make a cute couple. This has been said since 3rd grade, I'm in 7th now. And guess what? I finally like him! But I don't know if he likes me, so I have no idea what to do! I recently broke up with my bf because of this, but I really don't know what I should do. Please help!


Bron-Bron

Dear BB,


I think what you’re asking me is whether you should reveal your feelings to your crush (or ask him out) or not. Well, everyone has their own opinion about whether you should reveal your true feelings to your crush or not and how to do it or not to do it. But if your crush is single, free and available and you wouldn’t be hurting anyone by telling him you like him, then there's nothing to say you shouldn't let him know how you feel.


At the same time, try not to put all your hopes on him giving you a positive response (be it that he’ll go out with you or that he likes you back) – there’s a chance he doesn’t feel the same way about you that you feel about him. If that’s the case, try not to feel bad about it when you hear it. Remember, a relationship should be equal. The person you’re dating should think you're as great as you think they are, and they should want to be with you as much as you want to be with them.


Your feelings are nothing to be ashamed of. Having crushes is a normal part of being a human being, especially when you're growing up. However, while it might be hard to see this right now, these feelings you have for your current crush that seem so overwhelming nearly always fade with time. The reason your crush feels so intense is that you're basing your emotions on a fantasy version of how a relationship with him could but may not actually be in real life.


If you do decide to reveal your feelings to your crush, you have to be ready ahead of time to deal with him reacting in a way you may not like or expect. Hopefully he says he likes you back and then the two of you can decide where to take your relationship from there. But if he says he doesn’t feel the same way about you, even though it might seem very hard, you will have to try and move on by enjoying all the things in your life that you enjoyed before you had a crush on him. Have fun with your friends, go out and meet other people.


In time, your feelings won't seem so overwhelming. And, while you're getting on with enjoying life, you might end up meeting someone who really likes you and who you can have a great relationship with. Remember, you deserve someone who really wants to be with you, whether it’s the person you’re currently crushing on or someone else!



More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • My Friend Tells My Crush All My Secrets
  • What Should I Do About My Crush?
  • I Have A Cyber Crush
  • My Crush Sees Me As A Sister
  • 10 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    drowning
    "SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? It's really nice that your mother supports it, that always helps!! I'm glad that your family enjoys his company as well. Being 16 while he's 20 is alright. It's a slight odd age gap. But, I think as long as you both are ready, it's alright. Make sure you're mature and safe with your choices though. Personally, I think you should wait until you're closer to at least, 17. But, as long as you two are smart about what you're doing, it should be alright when it come around to it.
    reply 1 day
    fitta
    "Shygirl15" wrote:I really like this boy in my second period class but i dont know how to tell him because he knows that im transgender do whatever makes you feel comfortable or just wing it and tell him and if he tells you something because you're trans forget about him! He doesn't deserve you. But it's totally okay if you want to play it safe and not go up to him. You do you. :3 
    reply 1 day
    fitta
    "SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? i suggest you wait i mean you are going to be 16 that's way too young to be dating someone who is 4/5 years older than you,no? You can still talk to him when it comes to your anxiety attacks and all of that because I have those too every night so I know how it feels, but maybe you should wait. But at the end of the day it's your decision I'm just here to give advice 
    reply 1 day
    SatanslilDemon
    Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice???
    reply 1 day
    SmartSunnyShadow
    I feel like that too. My best friend will always hang out with her 'new friends' that I have a really bad opinion about. My friend will treat me rudely all the time and sometimes make fun of me with her friends. But, when I needed her the most in my life, she was there for me, and I told her how I felt. She says that she just wants to hang out with more people and apologized, people can be a little teasy at times.  Also, after seeing each other for a long time, people make new friends and start hanging out with them more, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like you.  This may be different for you, but just tell her about it, she will have to know you feelings at one point.  Hope I helped you. 
    reply 2 days