Dear Dish-It: Four-Year Crush

Dear Dish-It,

OK, so, last year, everybody thought this one dude and I would make a cute couple. This has been said since 3rd grade, I'm in 7th now. And guess what? I finally like him! But I don't know if he likes me, so I have no idea what to do! I recently broke up with my bf because of this, but I really don't know what I should do. Please help!


Dear BB,

I think what you’re asking me is whether you should reveal your feelings to your crush (or ask him out) or not. Well, everyone has their own opinion about whether you should reveal your true feelings to your crush or not and how to do it or not to do it. But if your crush is single, free and available and you wouldn’t be hurting anyone by telling him you like him, then there's nothing to say you shouldn't let him know how you feel.

At the same time, try not to put all your hopes on him giving you a positive response (be it that he’ll go out with you or that he likes you back) – there’s a chance he doesn’t feel the same way about you that you feel about him. If that’s the case, try not to feel bad about it when you hear it. Remember, a relationship should be equal. The person you’re dating should think you're as great as you think they are, and they should want to be with you as much as you want to be with them.

Your feelings are nothing to be ashamed of. Having crushes is a normal part of being a human being, especially when you're growing up. However, while it might be hard to see this right now, these feelings you have for your current crush that seem so overwhelming nearly always fade with time. The reason your crush feels so intense is that you're basing your emotions on a fantasy version of how a relationship with him could but may not actually be in real life.

If you do decide to reveal your feelings to your crush, you have to be ready ahead of time to deal with him reacting in a way you may not like or expect. Hopefully he says he likes you back and then the two of you can decide where to take your relationship from there. But if he says he doesn’t feel the same way about you, even though it might seem very hard, you will have to try and move on by enjoying all the things in your life that you enjoyed before you had a crush on him. Have fun with your friends, go out and meet other people.

In time, your feelings won't seem so overwhelming. And, while you're getting on with enjoying life, you might end up meeting someone who really likes you and who you can have a great relationship with. Remember, you deserve someone who really wants to be with you, whether it’s the person you’re currently crushing on or someone else!

More Great Dish-It Advice:

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