Dear Dish-It: My Dad Hits Me

Dear Dish-it,

I have no idea what to do. My dad hasn't hit me since I was four and all of a sudden he started hitting me again. I was doing my homework and I asked him to help me with it and he told me to figure it out myself, so sarcastically I said, "Gee, thanks a lot." Then all of a sudden he grabs the back of my hood and pulls it hard. I could barely get a breath out. I was so annoyed and frustrated that he did that so I said, "Was there a point to that?" Then he pulls my sweater, dragging me across the room. I don’t know what to do so I just sit there listening to him cursing at me and calling me fat and ugly. I now have a small cut on one side of my neck, then a bruise on my arm and neck. I'm too scared to call the police because he said that if I do he would take my little brothers and sisters who live with my mom, and that he would take them away from my mom. Please help me!


Dear kjm64,

I’m sorry that this is happening to you. Grownups, especially our parents, are supposed to be there to help and encourage us kids and to show us the right way to act. Truthfully, most adults do treat kids well. But some adults hurt kids rather than help them. Another word for this is abuse.

Verbal & Physical Abuse

Hitting and constant yelling are both types of abuse, and it sounds like you may be experiencing them with your dad. Physical abuse is when someone hits you hard with their hand or an object like a belt, especially hits that leave cuts and bruises. Shaking, pushing, choking, painfully grabbing and kicking can also be physical abuse.

Verbal or emotional abuse can happen if someone yells at you all the time, calls you mean names or threatens to leave you or have you adopted. All kids deserve to have adults in their lives who love and support them as they grow up. It's common for parents to get angry with their kids once in a while, but if there's yelling, punishing and threatening too much of the time, you can start feeling really bad about yourself. And just like with physical forms of abuse, it's a good idea to tell a trusted adult this is happening.

Tell Right Away

If you think you’re experiencing abuse, you need to tell another adult that you trust right away. This can be hard because, as in your case, the abuser may threaten or frighten you into keeping quiet. No matter what the abuser says, abuse is ALWAYS wrong, and there are different ways you can ask for help and get it.

How to Tell

  • Talk to an adult you trust in person.
  • Talk to an adult you trust on the phone.
  • Write a note or send an e-mail or a letter to an adult you trust who can help you.
  • Tell someone at school: a counselor, nurse, teacher or coach.
  • Tell a friend’s mom or dad.
  • If you can’t think of any other adult that you trust, you can call a helpline (like 1-800-4-A-CHILD).

The way you tell someone about what’s happening at home with your dad is up to you. The most important thing is that you do tell someone what’s happening and how it makes you feel. You need to try and protect yourself by getting the abusive behavior to stop happening. It takes a lot of courage to talk about this, so thank you for telling me. Your next step is to get the courage to tell someone close to you who can help. It’ll feel really good when you take the steps needed to keep yourself and your brothers and sisters safe.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
My friend problem: Get ready 'cause this'll be long. Problem = ... Okay, so I know this girl, Amelia. Last year when I was new at school she invited me to sit with her and her friends on the second day. Since then, we've been 'best friends'. Throughout the whole of last year she was really great. Now, it's been a few weeks since the first day of school - 5th grade. On the first day she was really happy to see me and we did all that normal BFF stuff. We even traced one of each of our hands and wrote 'BFFs' at the top. It all started with this.                                                   HOW IT HAPPENED One day we were sitting in the cafeteria. Her: Hey, what should we do during recess today? Another Friend Who Doesn't Like Amelia: Hey, do you want to do ______________? Me: Ummmmmmmmmmmm ......... errrrrrrrr .............. Me: (Thinking of Plan) Me: Eureka! Me: Hey, Amelia, I have this idea. Since you don't like Belen .... (this is other friend's name)  and you don't like her, I was thinking: Maybe on Monday I could hang out with you and Tuesday with her ... etc. Her: Cool. Well ... okay. Note: Well, I was feeling pretty bad, because she'd been a really great friend, but then I thought: Hey, it's only one day! It's not like I told her "Hey, I'm going to ditch you!" So then I went off with Belen. Well, the next day, or maybe a few days later - I don't remember - she told me during recess again: Her: Hey, do you want to go hang out with them over there? Points Me: Sure ... why not? Then we went on over there. During the whole of that recess, she didn't pay much attention to me. That was when I got suspicious. Now, it's been, like, 4 weeks since the first day of school. I decided to hang out with Belen during recess on Friday. Tomorrow is Monday, btw. Belen: Are you going to hang out with me during recess today? Me: Yeah. I would've wanted to go off with Amelia, but she was blowing me off lately. Last year a lot of people weren't her friends and she wasn't that social. Now, I see her flirting with _ _ _ _ _ _ easily and everyone (even people who left her out of their groups last year) is crowding around her while she talks about her big party. Last time, she even asked me if I wanted to go away with Belen, because she wasn't there either. Maybe I'm overreacting and she's just getting to be friends with a lot more people. I dunno. Should I be happy for her? Like I said, Belen and Amelia kinda hate each other, which is pretty inconvenient because they're both my best friends. So, you know that 'big party' Amelia is hosting? Belen's not invited and I don't know about myself, either. During yet ANOTHER recess Belen was talking about planning her birthday party. Now it's October 4th and her birthday is actually on January 21. Weird. I think she means this as a revenge party, because she is NOT inviting Amelia. Am I overreacting and taking this too seriously? Maybe I'm not and Amelia really isn't a good friend. But if I go to Belen's party and have an awesome time, Amelia (if I was overreacting) would be really upset. Then she would ditch me - FOR REAL. If I AM invited to Amelia's party, then what if she started blowing me off there? I don't want to look like a pesky little 'friend', clinging onto her. I NEED HELP. P.S. I have another problem caused by the first problem. I am crushing really hard on My Crush. I'm sure boys like fun, bouncy, happy, perky girls. He usually sees me during recess, where Amelia is usually blowing me off. Then, I start acting really sluggish and moody. Basically downright not-in-the-fun-mood. What would he think? Thank you for your help. P.P.S. PLEASE DO help me. This is an emergency. Thank you very much for your help (if you do help, that is.)
reply 17 minutes
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
Perfect Friend: Someone who will support you when you fail. Someone who encourages you. Someone who sticks with you. Someone who comforts you when things go wrong. Someone who is funny and makes you laugh. Someone who tells you the answers in class ... Someone who would wait for you after detention. Someone who would buy you great presents for your birthday. Someone who you know you can always count on. Someone nice (obvious). Someone who never fights with you. Someone who would always be a good friend, even if you weren't. Someone who is loyal. Someone who'd never go off with some other person. Someone who would read all this stuff without telling me they were bored.
reply about 1 hour
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
This thing happened in kindergarten ... too embarrassing to even talk about it now ... so bye.
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"CountessElectra" wrote:The loss of my grandad was horrible. I felt so sad at the time. I felt like i would never stop crying when my parents told me. It still makes me sad today... aww. i hope everything's okay :(
reply about 7 hours
"hugebear" wrote:This is the awesome thread and thank you for posting it manu [stickied] :) thank you huge :) 
reply about 7 hours

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