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Dear Dish-It: My Dad Hits Me

Dear Dish-it,


I have no idea what to do. My dad hasn't hit me since I was four and all of a sudden he started hitting me again. I was doing my homework and I asked him to help me with it and he told me to figure it out myself, so sarcastically I said, "Gee, thanks a lot." Then all of a sudden he grabs the back of my hood and pulls it hard. I could barely get a breath out. I was so annoyed and frustrated that he did that so I said, "Was there a point to that?" Then he pulls my sweater, dragging me across the room. I don’t know what to do so I just sit there listening to him cursing at me and calling me fat and ugly. I now have a small cut on one side of my neck, then a bruise on my arm and neck. I'm too scared to call the police because he said that if I do he would take my little brothers and sisters who live with my mom, and that he would take them away from my mom. Please help me!


kjm64


Dear kjm64,


I’m sorry that this is happening to you. Grownups, especially our parents, are supposed to be there to help and encourage us kids and to show us the right way to act. Truthfully, most adults do treat kids well. But some adults hurt kids rather than help them. Another word for this is abuse.


Verbal & Physical Abuse

Hitting and constant yelling are both types of abuse, and it sounds like you may be experiencing them with your dad. Physical abuse is when someone hits you hard with their hand or an object like a belt, especially hits that leave cuts and bruises. Shaking, pushing, choking, painfully grabbing and kicking can also be physical abuse.


Verbal or emotional abuse can happen if someone yells at you all the time, calls you mean names or threatens to leave you or have you adopted. All kids deserve to have adults in their lives who love and support them as they grow up. It's common for parents to get angry with their kids once in a while, but if there's yelling, punishing and threatening too much of the time, you can start feeling really bad about yourself. And just like with physical forms of abuse, it's a good idea to tell a trusted adult this is happening.


Tell Right Away

If you think you’re experiencing abuse, you need to tell another adult that you trust right away. This can be hard because, as in your case, the abuser may threaten or frighten you into keeping quiet. No matter what the abuser says, abuse is ALWAYS wrong, and there are different ways you can ask for help and get it.


How to Tell

  • Talk to an adult you trust in person.
  • Talk to an adult you trust on the phone.
  • Write a note or send an e-mail or a letter to an adult you trust who can help you.
  • Tell someone at school: a counselor, nurse, teacher or coach.
  • Tell a friend’s mom or dad.
  • If you can’t think of any other adult that you trust, you can call a helpline (like 1-800-4-A-CHILD).

The way you tell someone about what’s happening at home with your dad is up to you. The most important thing is that you do tell someone what’s happening and how it makes you feel. You need to try and protect yourself by getting the abusive behavior to stop happening. It takes a lot of courage to talk about this, so thank you for telling me. Your next step is to get the courage to tell someone close to you who can help. It’ll feel really good when you take the steps needed to keep yourself and your brothers and sisters safe.


More Advice:

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

labimba
labimba posted in Style:
Neko girl I have to get back in shape for September if u want we can be training buddies!  :)  
reply about 12 hours
animallover468
animallover468 posted in Style:
EndlessDream is right. Skipping breakfast and lunch can result in stomach ulcers and sudden weight gain (had personal experience...), ESPECIALLY skipping breakfast! You have to incorporate exercise in your daily routine. Stomach and body fat is mostly caused by lack of exercise, and maybe that means you need to do toning exercises. Try doing simple exercise videos like the 3-mile powerwalk on YouTube (trust me, I sweat like crazy when I do those workouts). Anything that gets you sweating, is the kind of exercise you need to do.  I hated working out when I first started my weight loss journey too. I would always start wheezing every time I started working out. But after pushing through everyday, I think working out is one of the best stress busters I've ever had!  If you want to lower your appetite though, I suggest eating a full lunch and breakfast and skipping your dinner. If you can't skip dinner, then at least try aiming for an early dinner, around 5:30 or 6:00. Your body needs time to digest at least 4 hours before you sleep. I started gaining weight around puberty when I was 12, it could be the same for you too.  But honestly, there's nothing wrong with having consciousness about your weight. Now starving yourself and dieting is BAD, but there's nothing wrong with changing your lifestyle in order to be fit. It's a good thing that kids start caring about their health, and the earlier you start, the better off you are. 
reply about 13 hours
EndlessDream
EndlessDream posted in Style:
You need breakfast and lunch. Starving yourself, even if you aren't hungry, makes you loose energy to the point you could pass out from not eating. Keep your diet healthy. For breakfast, at least have yogurt, fruit, and juice. Drink at least 4 full glasses of water a day. Trim down on the snacks. Everyone has different bodies and build. You may just be large-boned. And that's not bad! That makes you stronger and higher ability to gain muscle. Loosing weight doesn't happen over night. It can take months. 
reply 1 day
Nekogirl101
Nekogirl101 posted in Style:
For years my parents would tell me I'm skinny but compared to other people, my waist was bigger and I would always hide it. Though it was obvious I weighed more, I've only been doing this for a week and I didn't ever tell anyone what I was doing until my parents found out. I would skip lunch and breakfast and say I was full. I only ate a big dinner every night. Once my parents found out, they said it was unhealthy and if I didn't  stop, I would develop an eating disorder. I obviously listened to them, but I've tried as best as I can so far. I have barely lost any weight from exercise and my parents won't let me go on a diet because I already 'eat healthy enough'. I want to lose weight without exercising being 3/4s of my lifestyle. I know, I'm a lazy idiot for saying all this.
reply 1 day
rainbowpoptart
Yes, purely for the fact that you should not "hate" your sister (or anyone, for that matter).  I'm guessing by "get in trouble for her", you mean she does something wrong and the blame is all put on you? Yeah, little siblings tend to do that a lot. My brother did for the longest time, until my parents found out how much a liar he is. She, hopefully, will grow out of this eventually. Either that, or your parent[s]/guardian[s] will eventually see through her. You lose your friends to her? By this do you mean your friends want to hang out with her and they want you to tag along and you don't? Or do you mean your friends chose your sister over you? If it's the latter, then perhaps you shouldn't have ever referred to those people as friends. You'll find friends who'll prefer you over your sister, I'm sure of it. The only thing I can tell you to do is try to get along with your sister. Every group of siblings has their cats and dogs moment in life, but they grow out of it (most of the time; there are, of course, circumstances where it doesn't work out that way). Please be grateful for your sister, even if you two fight a lot. You never know how much you need something until it's gone.
reply 2 days