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Dear Dish-It: My Dad Hits Me

Dear Dish-it,


I have no idea what to do. My dad hasn't hit me since I was four and all of a sudden he started hitting me again. I was doing my homework and I asked him to help me with it and he told me to figure it out myself, so sarcastically I said, "Gee, thanks a lot." Then all of a sudden he grabs the back of my hood and pulls it hard. I could barely get a breath out. I was so annoyed and frustrated that he did that so I said, "Was there a point to that?" Then he pulls my sweater, dragging me across the room. I don’t know what to do so I just sit there listening to him cursing at me and calling me fat and ugly. I now have a small cut on one side of my neck, then a bruise on my arm and neck. I'm too scared to call the police because he said that if I do he would take my little brothers and sisters who live with my mom, and that he would take them away from my mom. Please help me!


kjm64


Dear kjm64,


I’m sorry that this is happening to you. Grownups, especially our parents, are supposed to be there to help and encourage us kids and to show us the right way to act. Truthfully, most adults do treat kids well. But some adults hurt kids rather than help them. Another word for this is abuse.


Verbal & Physical Abuse

Hitting and constant yelling are both types of abuse, and it sounds like you may be experiencing them with your dad. Physical abuse is when someone hits you hard with their hand or an object like a belt, especially hits that leave cuts and bruises. Shaking, pushing, choking, painfully grabbing and kicking can also be physical abuse.


Verbal or emotional abuse can happen if someone yells at you all the time, calls you mean names or threatens to leave you or have you adopted. All kids deserve to have adults in their lives who love and support them as they grow up. It's common for parents to get angry with their kids once in a while, but if there's yelling, punishing and threatening too much of the time, you can start feeling really bad about yourself. And just like with physical forms of abuse, it's a good idea to tell a trusted adult this is happening.


Tell Right Away

If you think you’re experiencing abuse, you need to tell another adult that you trust right away. This can be hard because, as in your case, the abuser may threaten or frighten you into keeping quiet. No matter what the abuser says, abuse is ALWAYS wrong, and there are different ways you can ask for help and get it.


How to Tell

  • Talk to an adult you trust in person.
  • Talk to an adult you trust on the phone.
  • Write a note or send an e-mail or a letter to an adult you trust who can help you.
  • Tell someone at school: a counselor, nurse, teacher or coach.
  • Tell a friend’s mom or dad.
  • If you can’t think of any other adult that you trust, you can call a helpline (like 1-800-4-A-CHILD).

The way you tell someone about what’s happening at home with your dad is up to you. The most important thing is that you do tell someone what’s happening and how it makes you feel. You need to try and protect yourself by getting the abusive behavior to stop happening. It takes a lot of courage to talk about this, so thank you for telling me. Your next step is to get the courage to tell someone close to you who can help. It’ll feel really good when you take the steps needed to keep yourself and your brothers and sisters safe.


More Advice:

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
I hope you don't mind that I moved this to friends, but I thought it'd be more fitting since your question seems mainly friendship based. :) Do you mind being younger than your classmates? Do you feel it inhibits your school experience? I think you should do what feels best to you, whether that be staying behind because friendship has a big impact, or continuing ahead if you prioritize academic growth. Only you know what's right for you. :p If it's any help, I left high school early and went to college. I was already used to being the youngest in my class so it wasn't a huge jump socially, and I found a lot of friends of all ages. :D With that being said, I do still miss being with people my age but it's too late to go back and I wouldn't trade my experience for the world.
reply about 9 hours
YassenGregorovich
I'm 13 and will be going on to 9th grade. I skipped kindergarted  :p and 5th grade. So I'm a lot younger then most of my classmates will be. I'm thinking of repeating 8th grade so I will be more of the same age as the other people in my class. But I'm not sure if I should because I got a B+ or A- average in 8th grade. I need some advice on this. Sorry if this is the wrong section for this I just thought general was the right place. Thanks!  :D
reply about 24 hours
aftershock
aftershock posted in Style:
Thanks all of you guys for your responses. It seems many of you don't share pics to get help from friends when you're choosing. Thats OK. If anyone does want to go on the VIP list to be the first to try the new app then feel free to complete the info form here: http://goo.gl/forms/FOiKWa4DoAQHxtOx1 
reply 1 day
CoolerThanMyself
I'm a 12 year old girl with really strict parents! I do chores( even handling BLEACH sometimes) , I take care of my little brother, I'm in top set for all my classes- even on the gifted and talented register and I've only ever had 1 detention- and that was their fault anyway bc I was late( they drive). But, I'm still NEVER allowed out with my friends! My friends are all in top sets as well, are well behaved and all we literally would do is window shopping. I mean, there are my age smoking shisha and doing #####- they should be lucky I'm not a delinquent! But my parents always say I can't hang out. Not because they're worried about my safety, they just dont want me to go out.! Even sleepovers, my parents always say no because they ' haven't met the parents" but they make NO effort to do so. I'm losing out on knowing my friends better and whilst they're all making best friends, at school I'm just the person in the background- the left out friend. It hurts and most of the time I wish I was fostered or something. How can I make them loosen up? ( don't say anything about sneaking out because I chose life)
reply 2 days
Corps
Corps posted in Style:
Thank You Mate :)
reply 3 days