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Dear Dish-It: How To Break Up Nicely

Love & Dating Advice
Love & Dating Advice

Dear Dish-It,

I need to know how do i breakup with my bf without hurting his feelings.

heartbreaker


Dear heartbreaker,


Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.


Wait until you’ve cooled down. Many relationships end during a fight; it’s too easy to say “it’s over” when you’re angry. Wait until you’ve cooled down to make sure that you really are ready to break up. If you do break up in the middle of a fight, it can be very hard to make things right afterwards.


Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve determined that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.


Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.


Do it privately. Never break up with someone in front of their friends or other people. Break up nicely in person, not through texting or email, or over the phone. This personal discussion should not take place with an audience. The considerate thing to do is to wait until both of you have a chance to talk in person alone. Wait until you both have adequate time to deal with it; breaking up on a holiday or just before they have to go to work or another obligation will make it much harder.


Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.


Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for. Being around them immediately after the breakup can send mixed signals and offer them hope that you will be together in the future, and it will make it harder for them to move on and meet new people.


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Best Way to Break Up With Someone?

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Secret Nickname asks: I have no idea how to break up with my bf without hurting him. Any help??

Dear Dish-It in the forums

wellhereweareagain12
There is someone in my class and she makes a comment about everything the teacher says and she always feels the need to make everything about her. I can't stand her. I hope I won't have any classes with her next year.
reply 4 minutes
UMadOrNaw
I would reccoment getting in touch with a family theripist and have him/her come over to your house and talk with your family.
reply 9 minutes
samkitty214
samkitty214 posted in Friends:
Dear UnknownPoster,     Hello, hope you're enjoying your day! i suggest you step up to the home plate and ask," is there chemistry in this so called relationship"? let her answer, if it is yes. than build a STRONG relationship. if its NO than just say "sorry i asked" and say that you'd like to continue as friends!!!!                                                         -best of luck 
reply about 2 hours
JezDaNerd
Dear Dish-It, My little sister, Sydney, ruins EVERYTHING! She spills secrets, messes up auditions, and even feeds bits of homework, to the FISH!  Once, my crush came over while my parents weren't home. I was babysitting Sydney when I forgot we had to finish a school project, me and my crush. When he got to my house, My sister told him about how i use to have BRACES and a bright pink TEDDY BEAR! How can i try to cooperator with her, when i just want to strangle her! (my crush still is friends with me by the way) From, Jez {}
reply about 3 hours
rebelfeminist
rebelfeminist posted in Style:
Well you won't want to volunteer because that's unpaid.  Your profile says you're 11 which means you can't get a real job but you can babysit (you'll need first aid training for this), or you can pet sit or do yard work. Those are good jobs to have at your age.
reply about 7 hours

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