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Dear Dish-It: How To Break Up Nicely

Dear Dish-It,

I need to know how do i breakup with my bf without hurting his feelings.

heartbreaker

Dear heartbreaker,

Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.

Wait until you’ve cooled down. Many relationships end during a fight; it’s too easy to say “it’s over” when you’re angry. Wait until you’ve cooled down to make sure that you really are ready to break up. If you do break up in the middle of a fight, it can be very hard to make things right afterwards.

Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve determined that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.

Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.

Do it privately. Never break up with someone in front of their friends or other people. Break up nicely in person, not through texting or email, or over the phone. This personal discussion should not take place with an audience. The considerate thing to do is to wait until both of you have a chance to talk in person alone. Wait until you both have adequate time to deal with it; breaking up on a holiday or just before they have to go to work or another obligation will make it much harder.

Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.

Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for. Being around them immediately after the breakup can send mixed signals and offer them hope that you will be together in the future, and it will make it harder for them to move on and meet new people.


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Secret Nickname asks: I have no idea how to break up with my bf without hurting him. Any help??
F1109701531750

Best Way to Break Up With Someone?

  • Tell them face to face.
  • Get a friend to do it for you.
  • Send them an email or text message them.
  • Just ignore them. They'll get the message.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

lordoflego
i also had a friend how is a girl, she liked me and all i had to was ask her out! now we are dating. :)
reply 1 day
Cutepandicorn
Umm...If she is the kind of girl that likes to talk a lot and tells everybody what is going on then the whole school will know when she finds out you like her.  I say who cares if the whole school knows you like her.  I like it if a boy tells me he likes me and ask me out.  I don't like boys trying to be sneaky coz they stink at it and end up looking stupid.  If you want to be sneaky about it you can ask her if she can help you with your homework or ask her if she wants to hang with you and your friends at the mall or you can look at her and smile and see if she smiles back at you.
reply 1 day
Jojo132
well, as a girl i know that i like it when boys are up front with there feelings. girls like to know that they can trust you to tell them the truth no matter who's watching you.  that may show that you really do like her. if you need to do it privately, then mabey if you do any after school activities and she does then ask her then. jojo(: 
reply 1 day
Epicryan2
How would I ask her if she likes me without the entire school knowing? I like her too. Please answer I want to know by today
reply 1 day
zoomzoomkitty
zoomzoomkitty posted in Style:
Erm, my casual clothes are black and grey. 
reply 2 days