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Dear Dish-It: How To Break Up Nicely

Dear Dish-It,

I need to know how do i breakup with my bf without hurting his feelings.

heartbreaker


Dear heartbreaker,


Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.


Wait until you’ve cooled down. Many relationships end during a fight; it’s too easy to say “it’s over” when you’re angry. Wait until you’ve cooled down to make sure that you really are ready to break up. If you do break up in the middle of a fight, it can be very hard to make things right afterwards.


Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve determined that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.


Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.


Do it privately. Never break up with someone in front of their friends or other people. Break up nicely in person, not through texting or email, or over the phone. This personal discussion should not take place with an audience. The considerate thing to do is to wait until both of you have a chance to talk in person alone. Wait until you both have adequate time to deal with it; breaking up on a holiday or just before they have to go to work or another obligation will make it much harder.


Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.


Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for. Being around them immediately after the breakup can send mixed signals and offer them hope that you will be together in the future, and it will make it harder for them to move on and meet new people.


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Best Way to Break Up With Someone?

  • Tell them face to face.
  • Get a friend to do it for you.
  • Send them an email or text message them.
  • Just ignore them. They'll get the message.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

CoolerThanMyself
I'm a 12 year old girl with really strict parents! I do chores( even handling BLEACH sometimes) , I take care of my little brother, I'm in top set for all my classes- even on the gifted and talented register and I've only ever had 1 detention- and that was their fault anyway bc I was late( they drive). But, I'm still NEVER allowed out with my friends! My friends are all in top sets as well, are well behaved and all we literally would do is window shopping. I mean, there are my age smoking shisha and doing #####- they should be lucky I'm not a delinquent! But my parents always say I can't hang out. Not because they're worried about my safety, they just dont want me to go out.! Even sleepovers, my parents always say no because they ' haven't met the parents" but they make NO effort to do so. I'm losing out on knowing my friends better and whilst they're all making best friends, at school I'm just the person in the background- the left out friend. It hurts and most of the time I wish I was fostered or something. How can I make them loosen up? ( don't say anything about sneaking out because I chose life)
reply about 15 hours
Corps
Corps posted in Style:
Thank You Mate :)
reply about 21 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Is there a particular reason or situation causing you to feel this way? I can't provide much advice other than talk to them about it. Communication is important.
reply 1 day
Arenl
Arenl posted in Friends:
He is a jerk, but then what ?? He is your best friend . Maybe you should tell him to sleep for an extra hour. It may be a lack of sleep.
reply 1 day
KittyCheshire
KittyCheshire posted in Friends:
My BFFEL (best friend for eternal life) is being a jerk after we have been friends for a long time. What should I do?
reply 1 day