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Dear Dish-It: How To Break Up Nicely

Dear Dish-It,

I need to know how do i breakup with my bf without hurting his feelings.

heartbreaker

Dear heartbreaker,

Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.

Wait until you’ve cooled down. Many relationships end during a fight; it’s too easy to say “it’s over” when you’re angry. Wait until you’ve cooled down to make sure that you really are ready to break up. If you do break up in the middle of a fight, it can be very hard to make things right afterwards.

Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve determined that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.

Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.

Do it privately. Never break up with someone in front of their friends or other people. Break up nicely in person, not through texting or email, or over the phone. This personal discussion should not take place with an audience. The considerate thing to do is to wait until both of you have a chance to talk in person alone. Wait until you both have adequate time to deal with it; breaking up on a holiday or just before they have to go to work or another obligation will make it much harder.

Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.

Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for. Being around them immediately after the breakup can send mixed signals and offer them hope that you will be together in the future, and it will make it harder for them to move on and meet new people.


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Secret Nickname asks: I have no idea how to break up with my bf without hurting him. Any help??
F1109701531750

Best Way to Break Up With Someone?

  • Tell them face to face.
  • Get a friend to do it for you.
  • Send them an email or text message them.
  • Just ignore them. They'll get the message.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I'm an older sister to a 13 year old brother. Neither of us really agree on much, either. I prefer this, he prefers that. I prefer that, he prefers this. It's natural regarding age differences. Even just a years worth can hold plenty. It's best to meet in the middle with things. Like, my brother and I for instance don't really agree on anything. But, it's good to meet somewhere with things to do together whether its agreeing on a movie to watch or playing a video-game together. Even drawing or helping each other out with something. Just keep in mind, when it comes to this, you won't always want to do what they want.
reply about 2 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I understand this situation. Personally, you can tell your sister if you're completely sure on what happen. But, make sure she stays quiet about it until you both come to an agreement on when you should confront your parents about what you saw.
reply about 2 hours
Sophieex_
Posts: 21 3 minutes ago I think I'm bi, too. And thanks for the words of wisdom @rainbowpoptart 
reply about 6 hours
Sophieex_
Here's something to think about @IlikeGUYS20, I can say this about myself, and I'm sure, from this post, you'd agree. I'd love to have a girlfriend, and I'd also love to have a boyfriend. I'd be open to date any gender that my romantic partner would claim. We should just see what makes us happy before we label ourselves. Thanks! :)Have a wonderful day!:rainbow ❤
reply about 6 hours
rainbowpoptart
You should grow comfortable with yourself before you come out. If you're not certain if you are indeed bi, then you shouldn't slap that label on yourself yet. Take some time to really think about how you feel, but don't worry too much about it. Your sexuality isn't everything. You have plenty of time to discover yourself as person. Don't rush it.
reply about 13 hours