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Dear Dish-It: How To Break Up Nicely

Love & Dating Advice
Love & Dating Advice

Dear Dish-It,

I need to know how do i breakup with my bf without hurting his feelings.

heartbreaker


Dear heartbreaker,


Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.


Wait until you’ve cooled down. Many relationships end during a fight; it’s too easy to say “it’s over” when you’re angry. Wait until you’ve cooled down to make sure that you really are ready to break up. If you do break up in the middle of a fight, it can be very hard to make things right afterwards.


Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve determined that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.


Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.


Do it privately. Never break up with someone in front of their friends or other people. Break up nicely in person, not through texting or email, or over the phone. This personal discussion should not take place with an audience. The considerate thing to do is to wait until both of you have a chance to talk in person alone. Wait until you both have adequate time to deal with it; breaking up on a holiday or just before they have to go to work or another obligation will make it much harder.


Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.


Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for. Being around them immediately after the breakup can send mixed signals and offer them hope that you will be together in the future, and it will make it harder for them to move on and meet new people.


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Secret Nickname asks: I have no idea how to break up with my bf without hurting him. Any help??

Dear Dish-It in the forums

Emma40
Emma40 posted in Friends:
So I like this guy in school. But I don't know if he likes me. How can I tell if he likes me? Does he like me?
reply about 2 hours
Bunnoo
Bunnoo posted in Friends:
(There is no such thing as perfect.) Someone who loves you is perfect enough.
reply about 11 hours
Peppy.San
Peppy.San posted in Friends:
"Emma40" wrote:So my BFF is dating this guy that is so hot. He is so sweet and so is she I don't want too get in the middle of thier relationship.AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!What should I do?:love :love You don't want to cause drama, I think is what you're saying. I wouldn't worry about getting "in the middle of their relationship". If he makes a pass at someone else (you?) then that's HIS problem, not yours... and he probably wasn't worth your friends' time in the first place. Sorry, but you can't fix other people's stupid. And if it's you who's chasing, remember: friends are more important than some stupid/angsty short-term fling. Trust me-- I lost a few friends that way, and those relationships doesn't last very long afterwards. #TeenageWisdom
reply about 11 hours
shae508
shae508 posted in Friends:
I rather you tell them the truth.....It's better to get help during times like this.. But if you wanna go down THAT road. (which includes lying, deep guilt, and possibly more scars...just a warning.) Here's how. 1. Hide them, wear bracelets long sleeves, whatever. just do it. 2. LIE. say you cut your self from glass of a REALLY bad paper cut...anything. 3. STOP!. Don't cut, easiest thing to do. At least let the scars fade... Like I said, I don't really want to help you with this stuff. TALK to someone. I cannot stress this enough. Good Luck....
reply about 11 hours
daredog
daredog posted in Family Issues:
Thanks for being supportive also for not dissing me!! :D :D :D :D :D :D love your profile pic btw!! :D :D :D :D :D
reply about 12 hours

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