Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: How To Break Up Nicely

Love & Dating Advice
Love & Dating Advice

Dear Dish-It,

I need to know how do i breakup with my bf without hurting his feelings.

heartbreaker


Dear heartbreaker,


Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.


Wait until you’ve cooled down. Many relationships end during a fight; it’s too easy to say “it’s over” when you’re angry. Wait until you’ve cooled down to make sure that you really are ready to break up. If you do break up in the middle of a fight, it can be very hard to make things right afterwards.


Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve determined that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.


Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.


Do it privately. Never break up with someone in front of their friends or other people. Break up nicely in person, not through texting or email, or over the phone. This personal discussion should not take place with an audience. The considerate thing to do is to wait until both of you have a chance to talk in person alone. Wait until you both have adequate time to deal with it; breaking up on a holiday or just before they have to go to work or another obligation will make it much harder.


Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.


Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for. Being around them immediately after the breakup can send mixed signals and offer them hope that you will be together in the future, and it will make it harder for them to move on and meet new people.


>
>

readers voted!

share with your friends


Twitter Facebook Myspace Digg


like this article?
Sign up now to get more just like!

latest videos

F1109701531750

Best Way to Break Up With Someone?

  • Tell them face to face.
  • Get a friend to do it for you.
  • Send them an email or text message them.
  • Just ignore them. They'll get the message.

related stories

Secret Nickname asks: I have no idea how to break up with my bf without hurting him. Any help??

Dear Dish-It in the forums

Babe_wolf
Babe_wolf posted in Friends:
Find a new friend, and dont talk to her then
reply about 1 hour
samkitty214
say to your grandmother," i understand and acknowledge that you are allowed to dislike ANY of your grandchildren but for you to favor thats completly out of the question and completely unfair. i just wanted to be loved equally by somebody as important to me as you are. but if aren't willing to do so then i will turn to my grandfather and my parents."
reply about 2 hours
samkitty214
samkitty214 posted in Friends:
I say that if they verbally hurt you that way they are NOT your true friends the may POSE  as your friends, but they're not. now, they may pretend because you have something they want or you give them free stuff. if you feel like crying. go out and find friends that'll make you feel like you flying OVER your old mean friends. real friends treat you with respect, check in on you, and talk to you when NOBODY will. trust me i know. if you have fallen down and need help you can easily seperate your true friends from the POSERS.
reply about 2 hours
jayceeb
jayceeb posted in Style:
What u mean
reply about 4 hours
jayceeb
jayceeb posted in Style:
I know right that what I would say :)
reply about 4 hours

play online games

Candy-100

A great online version of the famous Candy Crush. This is the best game launched...

1515_gl_kidzworld_100x100_jpg_fz

Intriguing planets, weird and wonderful characters; challenge friends and find a...

157262_(2)

When you go back to Candyland, you’ll wonder why you ever left in the first plac...

100x100_ra_logo_girl

Uncle George has left you his farm, but unfortunately it’s in pretty bad shape. ...

_thumb_100x100

Shoot blobs with different properies to merge yellow blobs. Your blobs can be re...