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Dear Dish-It: How To Break Up Nicely

Love & Dating Advice
Love & Dating Advice

Dear Dish-It,

I need to know how do i breakup with my bf without hurting his feelings.

heartbreaker


Dear heartbreaker,


Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.


Wait until you’ve cooled down. Many relationships end during a fight; it’s too easy to say “it’s over” when you’re angry. Wait until you’ve cooled down to make sure that you really are ready to break up. If you do break up in the middle of a fight, it can be very hard to make things right afterwards.


Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve determined that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.


Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.


Do it privately. Never break up with someone in front of their friends or other people. Break up nicely in person, not through texting or email, or over the phone. This personal discussion should not take place with an audience. The considerate thing to do is to wait until both of you have a chance to talk in person alone. Wait until you both have adequate time to deal with it; breaking up on a holiday or just before they have to go to work or another obligation will make it much harder.


Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.


Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for. Being around them immediately after the breakup can send mixed signals and offer them hope that you will be together in the future, and it will make it harder for them to move on and meet new people.


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Dear Dish-It in the forums

scarlet177
scarlet177 posted in Friends:
According 2 me..... a perfect friend should be..... kind towards all, loving, funny, helping, and some times silly ( a friend shounldn't be ALWAYS serious!) friendly ( of course ), and..................... AWESOME!!!! :D !! I do have friend with all these qualities..... her name is ******  and she has ALL these qualities!!!!!!!! so she is AWESOME, COOL AND A PERFECT FRIEND!! :D :)
reply about 6 hours
scarlet177
scarlet177 posted in Friends:
My BFF is awesome!!!!!!! I know that cuz, she is the only person whon can understand my feelings when my enemies or some other friends tease me badly or when those ppl be rude to me....... :(  . I can share all my secrets to her........ she is Awesome cuz, she is being herself . Her name is ****** ....... and she is my WORLD'S BEST FRIEND!!!!! :D
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Alexis7343
Alexis7343 posted in Friends:
I think its really great you posted this, cause a lot of people need it. Adults don't notice children problems. When I was in 2ed grade i was bullied by teens that were like 16. Not only that, teachers can bully kids too. My mom always puts people who try to kill them selves down in awful ways. Every time she says that stuff I am very offended by it cause she knows I have emotional problems but she still like to dig into it. Someone who feels they need to kill themselves needs someone to trust and talk to. I'm so happy you posted this. Cause it is so true!
reply about 16 hours
GaaraOfTheSand
GaaraOfTheSand posted in Friends:
I GONNA go draw
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jordand08
jordand08 posted in Friends:
Same. c:
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