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Dear Dish-It: How To Break Up Nicely

Dear Dish-It,

I need to know how do i breakup with my bf without hurting his feelings.

heartbreaker


Dear heartbreaker,


Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.


Wait until you’ve cooled down. Many relationships end during a fight; it’s too easy to say “it’s over” when you’re angry. Wait until you’ve cooled down to make sure that you really are ready to break up. If you do break up in the middle of a fight, it can be very hard to make things right afterwards.


Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve determined that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.


Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.


Do it privately. Never break up with someone in front of their friends or other people. Break up nicely in person, not through texting or email, or over the phone. This personal discussion should not take place with an audience. The considerate thing to do is to wait until both of you have a chance to talk in person alone. Wait until you both have adequate time to deal with it; breaking up on a holiday or just before they have to go to work or another obligation will make it much harder.


Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.


Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for. Being around them immediately after the breakup can send mixed signals and offer them hope that you will be together in the future, and it will make it harder for them to move on and meet new people.


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Secret Nickname asks: I have no idea how to break up with my bf without hurting him. Any help??
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Best Way to Break Up With Someone?

  • Tell them face to face.
  • Get a friend to do it for you.
  • Send them an email or text message them.
  • Just ignore them. They'll get the message.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

StephRox
StephRox posted in Family Issues:
Sometimes you feel annoyed with a sibling and you just don't know the RIGHT way to deal with it. I'm telling you right now that all that tension, the trouble, the annoyance can stop. But it's up to you.  LITTLE SIBS  [s:p/1koi] My BEST trick is to ignore. Act like  you have no problem with them. And move on, they'll EVENTually give up, TRUST ME. I've tried on my littles sisters.  BIG SIBS  [s:p/1jmr-en] They can be a bit... SASSY I am one anyway but you need to NOT mess with t hem. Even if this is coming from one herself, act like you have NO problem and be kind to them, surprise surprise! They might listen.   [s:p/1kka] Ya friend and Advisor
reply about 2 hours
StephRox
StephRox posted in Style:
If you've ever thought your style wasn't right or you needd a style change think about how YOU want the new you to be like. It YOU anyway. What do you ENJOY wearing? What do you think will be most trendy? And maybe your parents might be like mine and might not APPROVE of your outfit. Think about you. Don't try to change to someone else but the new you  [s:p/1kk9] Your friend and advisor, 
reply about 2 hours
lion2a3
lion2a3 posted in Family Issues:
Well I say don't deal with your friend I mean comfort her and all but if she's doing all that I would leave her alone let her parents deal with it you guys are just kids ending your life isn't the solution and you seem like a really caring person but ####### help from the internet isn't to answer Tell her parents or let her see to see an therapist or something But don't let other people drag you down into depression 
reply about 18 hours
TJStar234
TJStar234 posted in Friends:
everybody at my school don't really like me! :( 
reply 1 day
cocopanda200
cocopanda200 posted in Friends:
I have 3 close friends at school. Outside of school I have one. I'm soon going up to Secondary school. 2 of my friends, Kathryn and Sophie, are quite mean to me and others in the class. They call me names and push me around. I don't like it but afraid to tell them. They are also quite rude to teachers. When it's just me and Kathryn it's fine and I am wondering if it's just Sophie making an impression. I go to a small school (81 pupils) and making friends is hard for me. Please help!!
reply 1 day