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Dear Dish-It: How To Break Up Nicely

Love & Dating Advice
Love & Dating Advice

Dear Dish-It,

I need to know how do i breakup with my bf without hurting his feelings.

heartbreaker


Dear heartbreaker,


Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.


Wait until you’ve cooled down. Many relationships end during a fight; it’s too easy to say “it’s over” when you’re angry. Wait until you’ve cooled down to make sure that you really are ready to break up. If you do break up in the middle of a fight, it can be very hard to make things right afterwards.


Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve determined that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.


Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.


Do it privately. Never break up with someone in front of their friends or other people. Break up nicely in person, not through texting or email, or over the phone. This personal discussion should not take place with an audience. The considerate thing to do is to wait until both of you have a chance to talk in person alone. Wait until you both have adequate time to deal with it; breaking up on a holiday or just before they have to go to work or another obligation will make it much harder.


Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.


Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for. Being around them immediately after the breakup can send mixed signals and offer them hope that you will be together in the future, and it will make it harder for them to move on and meet new people.


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Dear Dish-It in the forums

jordand08
I'm really sorry you have to do through this and that you think you have to go through this alone. But I'm here. Maybe you should move with your dad. It would be safer for you there then with your mom. People say, that the people who you love are the one's who hurt you the most. But not in this case, your parents and the one's around you should be the reason you want to live. They should encourage you to do better, and not get mad when you don't succeed the first time. I understand what you're going through, and if you ever need me, I'm here. I am willing to talk, and sometimes, talking is all it needs to brighten someone's day. So please, come and talk to me. Just.. talk to your dad and see if you can move now, explain to him what's happening.
reply about 1 hour
Anime_
Anime_ posted in Family Issues:
There are millions of things that she does to me to hurt me. She hits a lot for no reason, she always says I'm 'talking back' when I'm just trying to explain in a polite way. She takes sides. When I yell at my 5 year old sister, She freaks out and grounds me it even worse hits me. When my sister yells at me or hits me, all she says is 'sweetie don't hit that brat'. And I'm not exaggerating cause she always does these things. The list can go on and on. When My mom calls me names or hurts my feelings and then I start crying, she calls me 'bratty' and other mean words, and she wonders why I have low self-esteem. I mean, people have feelings too. She thinks the world revolves around her. And when she's sad or angry, she wants me to comfort her. She hurts my feelings so bad that I just want to die. And shell probably be mad at me for dying. I can't take it. Ugh. And I have to deal with her for one more year, then im moving with My dad. Not like she'll miss me.
reply about 1 hour
viti
viti posted in Style:
i like all hairstyles
reply about 5 hours
jordand08
jordand08 posted in Style:
Pj bottoms, and a shirt. 
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Mentally_Hilarious
Clothes.
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