Dear Dish-It: I'm So Stressed!

Dear Dish-It,

I’m not uber popular but I’m not a loser at school, either. Let’s just say I’m the average girl who likes to stay out of trouble. Well, that all changed when I started Grade 7. There are so many projects, book reports … plus all my rotary homework! Then there’s this guy who likes my best friend, which really sucks :( And the sad part is that I’m not even in high school yet! If I can’t handle all this love, homework and stress now, how will I handle it in Grade 8?!? Please, please help!

so confusing!!

Dear so confusing,

Sounds like you’ve got a lot of stuff on your plate and it’s really stressing you out! It’s totally normally, though – pretty much everyone gets stressed now and then. The difference is that different people handle stress in many different ways. Here are five steps you can take when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed that should help you deal with the feeling and relax.

Step 1: Get Support

Secret Admirer

Reach out to the people who care about you. Talk to your mom or dad, a school counselor or a coach. And don't forget about your friends. They might be worried about the same test or have some good advice for you.

Step 2: Don’t Freak Out!

Secret Admirer

It's easy to let your feelings go wild when you're upset. Notice your feelings and name them; for example, "I am so angry!" And say or think about why you feel that way. Then, find a way to calm down and get past the upset feelings and find a way to express them. Do breathing exercises, listen to music, write in a journal, play with a pet, go for a walk or a bike ride, or do whatever helps you shift to a better mood.

Step 3: Don’t Take It Out On Yourself

Secret Admirer

Sometimes when kids are stressed and upset they take it out on themselves. That's not a good idea. Remember that there are always people to help you. Don't take it out on yourself. Be good to yourself and ask for the helping hand or pat on the back that you need to get you through a tough situation.

Step 4: Try To Solve The Problem

Secret Admirer

After you're calm and have support from adults and friends, it's time to get down to business. You need to figure out what the problem is. Even if you can't solve all of it, maybe you can begin by solving a piece of it.

Step 5: Stay Positive & Know It’s Gonna Get Better Soon

Secret Admirer

It may not seem like it when you're in the middle a stressful situation, but stress does go away, often when you figure out the problem and start working on solving it.

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    How Do You Beat Stress?

    • I go for a jog or play a sport.
    • I watch a funny movie and zone out for awhile.
    • Chocolate. Lots of chocolate.
    • I talk to a friend about what's stressin' me.

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
    reply about 14 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
    reply about 14 hours
    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
    reply about 14 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    This is gonna be long:   I have this 'friend' Amelia. She and I bonded really fast last year and we've become inseparable.   But lately she's blowing me off and my other best friend Belen told me: Amelia is actually using you. She does this to new kids at school, especially from foreign countries. She thinks because you're Chinese and the Chinese teacher's daughter, you'll help her. She's also using you as a backup friend - a substitute. There's this new girl Daniela, who Amelia thinks is her new best friend. She thinks that when Daniela stop hanging out with her, she'll have you.   The thing is, Daniela is pretty nice and she probably doesn't know all the trouble she's causing. Belen's old 'best friend' Andrea is doing the same to her.   I also learned that Amelia is seemingly the 'most popular girl in school' because she's mean to everyone. She always passes by the little kids' classrooms and hugs them & stuff. They seem to love her, but now I know it's because they think if they're nice they won't get bullied.   Maybe she WAS using me but I dunno. Belen says that each kid in the entire school has a bad story about Amelia and something she did to them. I said, "Then how was she so nice to me last year?" Then Belen was all like, "She was using you."   I don't know if she's telling the truth. She and Amelia are deadly enemies and she might be making up the whole Amelia story just to get back at her. Although Amelia has been dropping a few signs that she IS using me as a substitute friend.   Sometimes when I walk in, she'll be like "OOOOHHH! CASSANDRA! HI! HOW ARE YOU! C'MON, LOOK AT THIS! WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOOOO MUCH FUN TOGETHER ..."   And other times I'm like, "Hey, Amelia!" and she says, "Oh. Huh? Yeah, hi ..."  Once during PE we had to sit down and on the way to the gym, she was chatting with me in a BBBBFFFF way. But then when we had to partner up she said with Andrea, Daniela and someone else who I forgot.   I don't know what to do. It's just so weird. Even though now I know she MIGHT be using me (I'm not sure if she really is) it just seems WEIRD. Even for a supposed ##### she was my possibly fake best friend for the whole of last year. It's WEIRD to suddenly switch.   I don't even know if this should be happening. We've only just started 5th grade. Doesn't this WEIRD #### start happening around middle school? Thank you, everyone who will help in advance. P.S. Please include flirting advice. - A Girl Who Might Just Lose Her Possibly Fake Best Friend
    reply about 15 hours
    Okay I have school today and my hair is not sitting how I want it to. But my mum says it is sitting fine WHEN ITS NOT! SHE IS NOT LISTENING what do i do?
    reply about 16 hours

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