Dear Dish-It: I Don't Want To Move

Don't Wanna Move

Dear Dish-It,

I’m 13 and I live with my Grandma. My mom is getting married in June and she wants me to move to her town this summer but I don’t want to lose my awesome friends. I’ve lived with my Grandma for 6 years. I do want to live with my mom again but I don’t want to leave my friends. What do I do?

blonde

Dear blonde,

Sounds like you’re caught smack-dab in the middle of being a kid and being an adult. The kid in you wants to stay with your friends, but the adult in you realizes it may be best to move back in with your mom and try being a family again. This is a really tough decision, and I don’t blame you for feeling so upset about it.

I guess what it comes down to is making a choice between staying a kid or turning into an adult. Sure, you could stay with your Grandma and your friends, but it sounds to me like maybe you know that moving in with your mom (even if that means relocating to a new town) is the right decision at this point. If that’s the case, then I think you know what you need to do.

However, if I’m wrong, and moving in with your mom isn’t really that big a deal (meaning, your Grandma doesn’t mind you staying with her for a little longer and your mom doesn’t care where you live as long as you’re happy), then I guess you can stay put and keep all your old friends. But if everyone, including your mom and your Grandma (and your heart, which sounds like the case) is giving you good reason why it would be better for you to be with your mom now, then it’s time to grow up and make a grown-up decision: it’s time to move.

That being said, you are totally allowed to have feelings about moving, and you don’t have to pretend that you’re not upset about leaving your old friends behind. Be honest with your mom – tell her you feel sad about leaving your friends and nervous about starting over in a new home and a new town. Give yourself a chance to feel what you’re feeling. Just don’t attack your mom or make her feel guilty – that won’t solve anything. It will just make a tough situation tougher.

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