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Dear Dish-It: I Don't Want To Move

Dear Dish-It,

I’m 13 and I live with my Grandma. My mom is getting married in June and she wants me to move to her town this summer but I don’t want to lose my awesome friends. I’ve lived with my Grandma for 6 years. I do want to live with my mom again but I don’t want to leave my friends. What do I do?

blonde


Dear blonde,


Sounds like you’re caught smack-dab in the middle of being a kid and being an adult. The kid in you wants to stay with your friends, but the adult in you realizes it may be best to move back in with your mom and try being a family again. This is a really tough decision, and I don’t blame you for feeling so upset about it.


I guess what it comes down to is making a choice between staying a kid or turning into an adult. Sure, you could stay with your Grandma and your friends, but it sounds to me like maybe you know that moving in with your mom (even if that means relocating to a new town) is the right decision at this point. If that’s the case, then I think you know what you need to do.


However, if I’m wrong, and moving in with your mom isn’t really that big a deal (meaning, your Grandma doesn’t mind you staying with her for a little longer and your mom doesn’t care where you live as long as you’re happy), then I guess you can stay put and keep all your old friends. But if everyone, including your mom and your Grandma (and your heart, which sounds like the case) is giving you good reason why it would be better for you to be with your mom now, then it’s time to grow up and make a grown-up decision: it’s time to move.


That being said, you are totally allowed to have feelings about moving, and you don’t have to pretend that you’re not upset about leaving your old friends behind. Be honest with your mom – tell her you feel sad about leaving your friends and nervous about starting over in a new home and a new town. Give yourself a chance to feel what you’re feeling. Just don’t attack your mom or make her feel guilty – that won’t solve anything. It will just make a tough situation tougher.


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  • 5 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    labimba
    labimba posted in Style:
    Neko girl I have to get back in shape for September if u want we can be training buddies!  :)  
    reply 1 day
    animallover468
    animallover468 posted in Style:
    EndlessDream is right. Skipping breakfast and lunch can result in stomach ulcers and sudden weight gain (had personal experience...), ESPECIALLY skipping breakfast! You have to incorporate exercise in your daily routine. Stomach and body fat is mostly caused by lack of exercise, and maybe that means you need to do toning exercises. Try doing simple exercise videos like the 3-mile powerwalk on YouTube (trust me, I sweat like crazy when I do those workouts). Anything that gets you sweating, is the kind of exercise you need to do.  I hated working out when I first started my weight loss journey too. I would always start wheezing every time I started working out. But after pushing through everyday, I think working out is one of the best stress busters I've ever had!  If you want to lower your appetite though, I suggest eating a full lunch and breakfast and skipping your dinner. If you can't skip dinner, then at least try aiming for an early dinner, around 5:30 or 6:00. Your body needs time to digest at least 4 hours before you sleep. I started gaining weight around puberty when I was 12, it could be the same for you too.  But honestly, there's nothing wrong with having consciousness about your weight. Now starving yourself and dieting is BAD, but there's nothing wrong with changing your lifestyle in order to be fit. It's a good thing that kids start caring about their health, and the earlier you start, the better off you are. 
    reply 1 day
    EndlessDream
    EndlessDream posted in Style:
    You need breakfast and lunch. Starving yourself, even if you aren't hungry, makes you loose energy to the point you could pass out from not eating. Keep your diet healthy. For breakfast, at least have yogurt, fruit, and juice. Drink at least 4 full glasses of water a day. Trim down on the snacks. Everyone has different bodies and build. You may just be large-boned. And that's not bad! That makes you stronger and higher ability to gain muscle. Loosing weight doesn't happen over night. It can take months. 
    reply 2 days
    Nekogirl101
    Nekogirl101 posted in Style:
    For years my parents would tell me I'm skinny but compared to other people, my waist was bigger and I would always hide it. Though it was obvious I weighed more, I've only been doing this for a week and I didn't ever tell anyone what I was doing until my parents found out. I would skip lunch and breakfast and say I was full. I only ate a big dinner every night. Once my parents found out, they said it was unhealthy and if I didn't  stop, I would develop an eating disorder. I obviously listened to them, but I've tried as best as I can so far. I have barely lost any weight from exercise and my parents won't let me go on a diet because I already 'eat healthy enough'. I want to lose weight without exercising being 3/4s of my lifestyle. I know, I'm a lazy idiot for saying all this.
    reply 2 days
    rainbowpoptart
    Yes, purely for the fact that you should not "hate" your sister (or anyone, for that matter).  I'm guessing by "get in trouble for her", you mean she does something wrong and the blame is all put on you? Yeah, little siblings tend to do that a lot. My brother did for the longest time, until my parents found out how much a liar he is. She, hopefully, will grow out of this eventually. Either that, or your parent[s]/guardian[s] will eventually see through her. You lose your friends to her? By this do you mean your friends want to hang out with her and they want you to tag along and you don't? Or do you mean your friends chose your sister over you? If it's the latter, then perhaps you shouldn't have ever referred to those people as friends. You'll find friends who'll prefer you over your sister, I'm sure of it. The only thing I can tell you to do is try to get along with your sister. Every group of siblings has their cats and dogs moment in life, but they grow out of it (most of the time; there are, of course, circumstances where it doesn't work out that way). Please be grateful for your sister, even if you two fight a lot. You never know how much you need something until it's gone.
    reply 3 days