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Dear Dish-It: I Don't Want To Move

Dear Dish-It,

I’m 13 and I live with my Grandma. My mom is getting married in June and she wants me to move to her town this summer but I don’t want to lose my awesome friends. I’ve lived with my Grandma for 6 years. I do want to live with my mom again but I don’t want to leave my friends. What do I do?

blonde


Dear blonde,


Sounds like you’re caught smack-dab in the middle of being a kid and being an adult. The kid in you wants to stay with your friends, but the adult in you realizes it may be best to move back in with your mom and try being a family again. This is a really tough decision, and I don’t blame you for feeling so upset about it.


I guess what it comes down to is making a choice between staying a kid or turning into an adult. Sure, you could stay with your Grandma and your friends, but it sounds to me like maybe you know that moving in with your mom (even if that means relocating to a new town) is the right decision at this point. If that’s the case, then I think you know what you need to do.


However, if I’m wrong, and moving in with your mom isn’t really that big a deal (meaning, your Grandma doesn’t mind you staying with her for a little longer and your mom doesn’t care where you live as long as you’re happy), then I guess you can stay put and keep all your old friends. But if everyone, including your mom and your Grandma (and your heart, which sounds like the case) is giving you good reason why it would be better for you to be with your mom now, then it’s time to grow up and make a grown-up decision: it’s time to move.


That being said, you are totally allowed to have feelings about moving, and you don’t have to pretend that you’re not upset about leaving your old friends behind. Be honest with your mom – tell her you feel sad about leaving your friends and nervous about starting over in a new home and a new town. Give yourself a chance to feel what you’re feeling. Just don’t attack your mom or make her feel guilty – that won’t solve anything. It will just make a tough situation tougher.


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  • 5 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    bookwormlestrange
    I don't have ADHD, but I know plenty about it. One of my friends has ADHD and Tourette's, and the teachers were always turds about it. Anyway, i think that a good way to deal with ADHD acting up is either changing medication or trying to eat foods or drinks with caffeine. I'm not sure if it works for you, but a lot of people with ADHD have seen significant improvements after putting caffeine in their systems. If your friends are acting like turds, you need better friends. I hope my advice helps.
    reply about 15 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    I have one so annoying sister, that it feels like I have 200 of them, oh my god. She's pounding on the door right now, HELP! 
    reply 1 day
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Dad, obviously. I can't even explain what he does to me!
    reply 1 day
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Well, if they are your BFFs, they shouldn't be teasing you to make you feel bad. Me, and my BFFs tease each other all the time playfully, but I understand that this is different, and if it's making you feel bad it isn't playful at all.   Maybe your eldest friend is having some trouble with family issues, bad grades, body changes, etc. It's okay to be angry, so maybe you should leave her space for a few days, and see if it turns better. If it isn't, then try to first make her calm down. Then, make her talk to you about why she is so angry and ask if you can try to help. If nothing turns out better, tell her that you feel uncomfortable, and you want her to talk to you.  For your 3rd eldest friend, support her as much as possible, and stand up for her in this terrible situation. If you are all BFFs, then you should all be very close and comfortable around each other, and the fight shouldn't last long. If not, they are not your real friends, and you have to go on without them. I have tons of advice on how to make new friends, so just ask me if you want to know. Your 2nd eldest friend seems to be the main problem.  First of all, tell her to stop, and say how you don't like her bullying you. You must say what she is doing wrong, and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care, tell her you're serious, and you hate what she is doing to you. If it continues, ignore what trash she is saying, and just simply walk away. Focus on other things that will help make you feel better. Remember, all she is is a person, and it's up to you to act appropriately.  Stay positive, and calm. Focus on other things, and if she continues, tell her that you can all be friends and you miss her. Go get another friend to stand up with you, and tell her that you will report to an adult if she won't stop. She may be your friend, but she deserves it. I told on my BFF when she was mean, so it's all okay now.  If all else fails, get a trusted adult, and hang out with nicer friends. Your other friends will learn from their mistakes. If not, warn them, and give them a sincere kindness note of how you miss being friends. Then, also give one to the bully.
    reply 1 day
    AnnaOfExquizurd
    Yeah, @CyclonicBass the best option really is to find a girl with a quirky personality. Become friends with her. Possibly, over time, she'll grow close to you and accept a request to be with you. Hope it goes well!
    reply 2 days