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Dear Dish-it: When Can I Start Dating?

Jun 13, 2010

Dear Dish-it,


When you're 9 are you too young to date???


nnoyer


Dear nnoyer,


The answer depends a lot on what you mean by "dating." While crushes start as early as elementary school, in middle school kids start talking about "going out" or "going together" or “dating.” Usually, what they mean is that two people let it be known that they like each other. They might write notes to each other or talk on the phone or text message each other.


It's possible this couple could see each other at an event, such as a dance, a party, or a basketball game. But most kids won't "go out" on a date, just the two of them, and if they do it's likely their parents will want to come along. The bottom line is most parents think kids should wait until they are older to start dating.


If someone asks you to "go out" or “date” them you might feel happy that someone likes you, but also a little strange. You might wonder what it will mean if you say yes. And what if you want to stop "going out" with this person? These couples usually don't last long and that's perfectly OK. The best advice is to go slowly because it's easy for kids to get their feelings hurt.


It's a good idea to talk with your mom or dad, too. They might not want you to "go out" or “date” with anyone yet, even if you're not really going out anywhere. Or, if they're OK with it, they might have certain rules they want you to follow, like about when and if you can get phone calls from this person. Some kids make the mistake of calling the person they like a zillion times a day. Oh no, don't be a constant caller!


Sound Off

When did you go on your first date or start going out with someone? How old do you think kids should be when they go on their first date or start thir first relationship? Got any great advice for nnoyer? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Perfect First Date? Vote!

  • Going to a movie.
  • A picnic in the park.
  • A trip to the arcade.
  • Chilling at the local diner.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

AnnaOfExquizurd
Okay, @Abbergrl I'm glad I could help! :D
reply 33 minutes
Abbergrl
Abbergrl posted in Friends:
Thanks @AnnaOfExquizurd that may be very useful to me. And it sounds cool too! :D I thought about just thinking about the positives but didn't really work. I'll try this too!
reply 34 minutes
Abbergrl
Abbergrl posted in Friends:
"Kawaiiqueen389" wrote:My bff is being taken away from me by another girl in our year who is mean to me ...  I really miss her .. What shall I do? That's terrible and has happened and will probably happen with me again. I think you should try being nice to that mean girl even though you don't really like her. If she makes a joke about you just try to laugh at it, don't be hurt by it or make a mean comment back. :)
reply 38 minutes
country_girl19
If you really want to get rid of the romantic feelings for him, just try picturing a future with him, and also asking these questions in your head, "Is he a good guy?" "Would we last?" But maybe he's acting awkward around you, because your friend asked him to Prom, but he might rather go with you, but doesn't know how to say anything about the situation. I would suggest talking to him about it, and if he is a jerk about it, don't bother. But talk to him first, and if he has the same feelings, then talk to your friend about it. I just want to warn you, that if you do this, you and others could get their feelings hurt. Crushes are a risky, scary thing in high school. Anyway, that's what I think you should do. If you don't want to do that, then follow what your intuition tells you.
reply about 1 hour
Lotushorn15
I had a crush on this new guy, and it's really the first crush I had in a long time. But, he is so amazing that everyone else seems to have a crush on him too. In my family, I can't date until I'm 16 anyway. But my best friend just asked him out to prom. I realized that she likes him a lot and tried to let go of my feelings for him. I am not angry with her at all, if she wants to date him, great. But, it's been hard to let go of my feelings completely. I'm convinced though I just want to be his friend. However, I think he knows I used to have a crush on him, and he acts a little awkward around me, but I don't want to feel that way for him anymore. How can I get rid of my romantic feelings for him (should I? It's being the bigger person) and gain his friendship/lose the awkwardness?
reply about 2 hours