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Dear Dish-it: When Can I Start Dating?

Jun 13, 2010

Dear Dish-it,


When you're 9 are you too young to date???


nnoyer


Dear nnoyer,


The answer depends a lot on what you mean by "dating." While crushes start as early as elementary school, in middle school kids start talking about "going out" or "going together" or “dating.” Usually, what they mean is that two people let it be known that they like each other. They might write notes to each other or talk on the phone or text message each other.


It's possible this couple could see each other at an event, such as a dance, a party, or a basketball game. But most kids won't "go out" on a date, just the two of them, and if they do it's likely their parents will want to come along. The bottom line is most parents think kids should wait until they are older to start dating.


If someone asks you to "go out" or “date” them you might feel happy that someone likes you, but also a little strange. You might wonder what it will mean if you say yes. And what if you want to stop "going out" with this person? These couples usually don't last long and that's perfectly OK. The best advice is to go slowly because it's easy for kids to get their feelings hurt.


It's a good idea to talk with your mom or dad, too. They might not want you to "go out" or “date” with anyone yet, even if you're not really going out anywhere. Or, if they're OK with it, they might have certain rules they want you to follow, like about when and if you can get phone calls from this person. Some kids make the mistake of calling the person they like a zillion times a day. Oh no, don't be a constant caller!


Sound Off

When did you go on your first date or start going out with someone? How old do you think kids should be when they go on their first date or start thir first relationship? Got any great advice for nnoyer? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Perfect First Date? Vote!

  • Going to a movie.
  • A picnic in the park.
  • A trip to the arcade.
  • Chilling at the local diner.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

PittsburghPenguinsFanatic
"aftershock" wrote: "NicolletteA" wrote: no. and you sound like the marketing people that stop me at the mall.  :/ lol, I'm not, i just kno someone whos making a new app and wanted to see if any1 would use it.   BTW what do u say to the marketing people at the mall? No. I don't like those people at the mall. Sometimes, they ask my family and I (usually directed at my mom and sister, but sometimes at me, too. Even though I'm under 13. Not for long though.) if they want their hair done. And sometimes I'm so tempted to say, "No thank you. I did my hair today. Do you think I want it done?" But of course I never do. It's kinda disrespectful. So we just usually say No thank you. My mom, sister, and I now have a solution for that (my idea when I was maybe ages 9-11) Don't make eye contact with them and pretend that they aren't there.
reply about 10 hours
BookWorm86
This is GREAT advice! Thx a lot StephRox!:) I have a younger brother & he can be EXASPERATING at times lol! Great advice!!:D
reply about 11 hours
Arenl
Arenl posted in Family Issues:
My little brother is annoying as ever, but I have to handle him. He is my brother after all.
reply about 11 hours
Arenl
Arenl posted in Family Issues:
@Sophieeee I definitely agree with you.
reply about 11 hours
Sophieeee
 Loosing a parent is hard, your dad knows that and I'm sure that he misses your mom just as much as you do. Whether you explain to him how you are feeling or not, you should know that your Dad will always love you and admitting to him how you feel isn't going to change that. Although it is completely understandable how you feel, you need to let your dad move one eventually. It's not fair to him if he has to spend the rest of his life alone. Even though you might not see it, its a good thin that your dad is finally feeling comfortable enough to date. It doesn't mean that he is letting go of your mom or that he will forget about her, it means that he is moving on with his life. You lost your mother and he lost the love of his life. Dating other people will probably start off being just as hard for him as it is for you. My advice is that you talk to your dad. Let him know how you feel in the most gentle and understanding way that you can. Don't flat out say that you don't want him dating anyone, tell him that you still miss your mom and its hard to see him with other people. Let me know how it goes, good luck. :)
reply about 11 hours