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Dear Dish-It: Trouble with Dad

Dear Dish-it,


My dad hits me. Like, really hard. He does it almost every single day. I live with him now and I want to go back to my mom’s house but he says this is best for me. After he hits me, all my BFFs ask me what happened and I have to say I fell. But really he chokes me, throws glass at my face and says I’m fat. I want to run away …


bhla


Dear bhla,


I’m sorry – it sounds like you’re in a really tough situation. But you’ve done the right thing by telling someone. The next step is to tell an adult that you’re close to, so they can help you get the help you need to deal with your dad.


Not Your Fault

The first thing to realize is that none of this is your fault and you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. It seems like your dad has a tendency to get violent when he gets stressed out or upset, and he’s taking out all his frustration on you. Remember never to take the blame for something you can’t control. His anger has nothing to do with you.


Getting Away

With so much bad stuff going on at home, it’s no wonder you feel like running away. But trust, me, running away is NOT the answer. Instead, you could try finding things to do that will keep you busy and out of the house. It might be a good idea to join an after-school club or activity to take your mind off things. This way, you'll boost your self-esteem and feel tons better doing it. You'll meet new friends and won't feel so down about your dad.


Talking About It

Honesty is always the best policy, and in order to get help and make the situation better for yourself, you need to get things off your chest rather than leave it all bottled up. Can you talk to your mom about what’s happening? You should also seek professional help. Please see a counselor at your school or ask your doctor to refer you to one who can help you feel more secure. In fact, talking to any adult you feel you can trust will be helpful. An adult will be able to tell you who to turn to next for help.


Get Help Now

The Abuse Victim Hotline is 100% confidential and free: 1-877-448-8678. There’s also There's also Childhelp USA at (800) 4-A-CHILD ([800] 422-4453). Please don't be too shy or embarrassed to get help. I know it takes guts, but once you're working this out the right way, you'll feel so much better. No one will judge you, and this is in no way your fault!


Sound Off

Who would you ask for help if you were having serious problems at home? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Poll

Do You Know Someone Who's Being Neglected?

  • My parents are constantly neglecting me.
  • My friend's parents are very neglectful.
  • Sometimes I feel neglected, but I know I've got it pretty good.
  • No, I don't know anyone who's being neglected.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

ThePaleWalker636
I'm perfectly happy with myself. I'm around 5'6" and somewhere between 140-150 pounds, and I don't feel fat. But my mom is constantly telling me that I am, or, at least, that I'm going to be. She forces me to go to exercise classes because I don't like many sports, tries making me go on diets, but I don't want to. She tells me that if I continue the way I am, having an extra cookie once in a while and only eating cereal for breakfast, that I'll end up fat, and she makes sure to emphasize how horrible that is for a person to live with. She rolls her eyes and sighs whenever she sees me getting a snack, and just in general makes me feel awful for eating the things I like and for relaxing. I've told her that I don't want to do these things and that she makes me feel bad when she says things like that, but she swears it's for my own good and that I should never want to be fat, that it ruins people's lives. How should I deal with this?
reply 2 minutes
drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
"NS12" wrote: I meet this guy at a festival and we have been talking for the whole week and my mum has noticed I keep texting someone and I know I need to tell her but I don t know how I am going to tell her, I doubt she ll get angry or anything but he lives about 4/5 hours away from me. I know I need to tell her as I don t like keeping secrets from her. I know this was a bit ago, but I truly hope that you were able to be open with your mother. If you feel as if they won't get mad at you, then chances are that your guardian will not. Honesty is the best policy, and if you feel guilt keeping a secret, then it is one you probably shouldn't be keeping.
reply about 24 hours
drowning
I agree with @rainbowpoptart. You really shouldn't worry about relationships that much given your age. I promise, they're better things to worry about than boys and more secure romances occur later on in life anyways. But, given the situation, you shouldn't worry about either. The boy is unfaithful and so is your friend. If your best friend really valued your friendship, she would not have put it in a position that could end it. Don't waste your time on those who will not put you first just as you do for them; better people will come into your life and they are the ones who you should really worry about.
reply about 24 hours
rainbowpoptart
There's a Dear Dish-It section for questions like this. (: But to answer it anyway: BREAK UP WITH HIM! Stop being friends with who he cheated on you with. Move on and find someone better for you. Don't let it ruin your life. Neither of them are worth your time, there are much better people out there. Because you're only 10, though, I would definitely advise not focusing too much on any more romantic relationships. Work on preparing for your future; boyfriends can wait a while.
reply 2 days
Pinklilylane
So my Bf cheated on me for my bff. Know they won't even talk to me. I don't know what to do. Can you tell me what to do?
reply 2 days