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Dear Dish-It: Trouble with Dad

Dear Dish-it,


My dad hits me. Like, really hard. He does it almost every single day. I live with him now and I want to go back to my mom’s house but he says this is best for me. After he hits me, all my BFFs ask me what happened and I have to say I fell. But really he chokes me, throws glass at my face and says I’m fat. I want to run away …


bhla


Dear bhla,


I’m sorry – it sounds like you’re in a really tough situation. But you’ve done the right thing by telling someone. The next step is to tell an adult that you’re close to, so they can help you get the help you need to deal with your dad.


Not Your Fault

The first thing to realize is that none of this is your fault and you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. It seems like your dad has a tendency to get violent when he gets stressed out or upset, and he’s taking out all his frustration on you. Remember never to take the blame for something you can’t control. His anger has nothing to do with you.


Getting Away

With so much bad stuff going on at home, it’s no wonder you feel like running away. But trust, me, running away is NOT the answer. Instead, you could try finding things to do that will keep you busy and out of the house. It might be a good idea to join an after-school club or activity to take your mind off things. This way, you'll boost your self-esteem and feel tons better doing it. You'll meet new friends and won't feel so down about your dad.


Talking About It

Honesty is always the best policy, and in order to get help and make the situation better for yourself, you need to get things off your chest rather than leave it all bottled up. Can you talk to your mom about what’s happening? You should also seek professional help. Please see a counselor at your school or ask your doctor to refer you to one who can help you feel more secure. In fact, talking to any adult you feel you can trust will be helpful. An adult will be able to tell you who to turn to next for help.


Get Help Now

The Abuse Victim Hotline is 100% confidential and free: 1-877-448-8678. There’s also There's also Childhelp USA at (800) 4-A-CHILD ([800] 422-4453). Please don't be too shy or embarrassed to get help. I know it takes guts, but once you're working this out the right way, you'll feel so much better. No one will judge you, and this is in no way your fault!


Sound Off

Who would you ask for help if you were having serious problems at home? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Poll

Do You Know Someone Who's Being Neglected?

  • My parents are constantly neglecting me.
  • My friend's parents are very neglectful.
  • Sometimes I feel neglected, but I know I've got it pretty good.
  • No, I don't know anyone who's being neglected.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

CoolerThanMyself
I'm a 12 year old girl with really strict parents! I do chores( even handling BLEACH sometimes) , I take care of my little brother, I'm in top set for all my classes- even on the gifted and talented register and I've only ever had 1 detention- and that was their fault anyway bc I was late( they drive). But, I'm still NEVER allowed out with my friends! My friends are all in top sets as well, are well behaved and all we literally would do is window shopping. I mean, there are my age smoking shisha and doing #####- they should be lucky I'm not a delinquent! But my parents always say I can't hang out. Not because they're worried about my safety, they just dont want me to go out.! Even sleepovers, my parents always say no because they ' haven't met the parents" but they make NO effort to do so. I'm losing out on knowing my friends better and whilst they're all making best friends, at school I'm just the person in the background- the left out friend. It hurts and most of the time I wish I was fostered or something. How can I make them loosen up? ( don't say anything about sneaking out because I chose life)
reply about 3 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Is there a particular reason or situation causing you to feel this way? I can't provide much advice other than talk to them about it. Communication is important.
reply about 22 hours
Arenl
Arenl posted in Friends:
He is a jerk, but then what ?? He is your best friend . Maybe you should tell him to sleep for an extra hour. It may be a lack of sleep.
reply 1 day
KittyCheshire
KittyCheshire posted in Friends:
My BFFEL (best friend for eternal life) is being a jerk after we have been friends for a long time. What should I do?
reply 1 day
PittsburghPenguinsFanatic
"aftershock" wrote: "NicolletteA" wrote: no. and you sound like the marketing people that stop me at the mall.  :/ lol, I'm not, i just kno someone whos making a new app and wanted to see if any1 would use it.   BTW what do u say to the marketing people at the mall? No. I don't like those people at the mall. Sometimes, they ask my family and I (usually directed at my mom and sister, but sometimes at me, too. Even though I'm under 13. Not for long though.) if they want their hair done. And sometimes I'm so tempted to say, "No thank you. I did my hair today. Do you think I want it done?" But of course I never do. It's kinda disrespectful. So we just usually say No thank you. My mom, sister, and I now have a solution for that (my idea when I was maybe ages 9-11) Don't make eye contact with them and pretend that they aren't there.
reply 1 day