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Dear Dish-It: Trouble with Dad

Dear Dish-it,


My dad hits me. Like, really hard. He does it almost every single day. I live with him now and I want to go back to my mom’s house but he says this is best for me. After he hits me, all my BFFs ask me what happened and I have to say I fell. But really he chokes me, throws glass at my face and says I’m fat. I want to run away …


bhla


Dear bhla,


I’m sorry – it sounds like you’re in a really tough situation. But you’ve done the right thing by telling someone. The next step is to tell an adult that you’re close to, so they can help you get the help you need to deal with your dad.


Not Your Fault

The first thing to realize is that none of this is your fault and you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. It seems like your dad has a tendency to get violent when he gets stressed out or upset, and he’s taking out all his frustration on you. Remember never to take the blame for something you can’t control. His anger has nothing to do with you.


Getting Away

With so much bad stuff going on at home, it’s no wonder you feel like running away. But trust, me, running away is NOT the answer. Instead, you could try finding things to do that will keep you busy and out of the house. It might be a good idea to join an after-school club or activity to take your mind off things. This way, you'll boost your self-esteem and feel tons better doing it. You'll meet new friends and won't feel so down about your dad.


Talking About It

Honesty is always the best policy, and in order to get help and make the situation better for yourself, you need to get things off your chest rather than leave it all bottled up. Can you talk to your mom about what’s happening? You should also seek professional help. Please see a counselor at your school or ask your doctor to refer you to one who can help you feel more secure. In fact, talking to any adult you feel you can trust will be helpful. An adult will be able to tell you who to turn to next for help.


Get Help Now

The Abuse Victim Hotline is 100% confidential and free: 1-877-448-8678. There’s also There's also Childhelp USA at (800) 4-A-CHILD ([800] 422-4453). Please don't be too shy or embarrassed to get help. I know it takes guts, but once you're working this out the right way, you'll feel so much better. No one will judge you, and this is in no way your fault!


Sound Off

Who would you ask for help if you were having serious problems at home? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Poll

Do You Know Someone Who's Being Neglected?

  • My parents are constantly neglecting me.
  • My friend's parents are very neglectful.
  • Sometimes I feel neglected, but I know I've got it pretty good.
  • No, I don't know anyone who's being neglected.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

PotterDrinksWater
While engagement isn't illegal for juveniles, marriage is as you can already tell. Judging by your feelings, I don't think the relationship will last long enough for him to be able to wait. I heard some courts will allow it, depending on location. Knowing whether her engagement is okay is a tricky thing. She seems pretty confident in the relationship. As for your own feelings, how well do you know him? Do you have any knowledge about him outside their love life? Do her parents know anything about him? If you don't now the answers, don't be afraid to ask them to her or her parents. I'm also a 16-year-old girl and I don't feel comfortable with it. Many young adults have a hard time understanding the transition from  teen to adult, but if he's put his problems on her, that's a bad sign. I don't think 5 months is long enough in my opinion and I think this could lead to making bad habits in a relationship. I appreciate that you're trying to help your friend be safe. Hopefully some of her closest people will help her with you. They don't necessarily have to steer her against him, but they should help guide her into deciding what's best ad how to carry on from that.
reply 1 minute
CaptJolee
CaptJolee posted in Friends:
I don't even think that legal for a adult to marry a teen I think you should ask that part to make sure my theory is correct
reply about 3 hours
Boysrock50
Boysrock50 posted in Friends:
Do your parents know her parents? Maybe you could get your parents to speak to hers. Or if not, maybe tell her parents yourself that you're concerned. Try speaking to her and making sure she's 100% sure about what she's doing?
reply about 4 hours
KittyChes16
KittyChes16 posted in Friends:
So last year my friend got engaged at the age of sixteen to a guy of twenty-one and they only dated for 5 months at the time. I'm afraid she's making a mistake. They're still together, but her guy seems like he has a temper and might get abusive in the future.  What should I do? 
reply about 5 hours
DaEpicMuffin
DaEpicMuffin posted in Style:
50% Tomboy 20% Goth 30% Normal
reply about 14 hours