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Dear Dish-It: I Need a Phone

Dear Dish-it,


I need a phone! But my dad won’t spend an extra hundred for me, even though that’s the least he could do, since he never does anything with me and he lives on the computer, literally. What should I do?!


Bella17485115


Dear Bella,


Sounds like you’ve got two separate issues: wanting a cell phone and wanting your dad to spend more time with you. It’s really important that you separate the two issues and get it straight in your mind that one has nothing to do with the other. I agree that your dad should want to spend more time with his daughter and less time online, but that doesn’t mean he owes it to you to buy you a phone. So, if you’re gonna solve either of these problems, you’re going to have to tackle each one separately.


Quality Time

First off, let’s talk about your dad and the fact that you seem like you want him to a) pay more attention to you and b) spend more time doing things with you and less time tapping away at the computer. Sometimes the thing that works best in situations like this is asking your dad to give you a specific date and time when he’ll unglue himself from the screen and do something fun with his daughter. Mark the date down on your calendar and make sure your dad agrees to stick to it – no matter what!


Cell Sell

Now let’s deal with the phone issue. Pinpoint the exact reasons your dad doesn’t want you having a cell (remember, he doesn’t owe you anything, so there must be another reason why he doesn’t want to get you one). Is he worried you’ll spend time chatting or texting instead of doing homework? Does he want to track who’s calling you to make sure you stay out of trouble? Does he think it costs too much and he’ll end up paying for your talk time? Once you know his concerns, try to reach an agreement. Maybe you’ll only turn your cell on when you’re out (mention that he’ll always be able to reach you), talk for a set amount of time per day or let him monitor who you’ve been talking to. If you’re willing to compromise, your dad might come around. It’s possible, though, that he just can’t fit it into his budget right now. If that’s the case, have patience and, for now, enjoy the feeling of not being connected 24-7.


Getting Away

With so much bad stuff going on at home, it’s no wonder you feel like running away. But trust, me, running away is NOT the answer. Instead, you could try finding things to do that will keep you busy and out of the house. It might be a good idea to join an after-school club or activity to take your mind off things. This way, you'll boost your self-esteem and feel tons better doing it. You'll meet new friends and won't feel so down about your dad.


Talking About It

Honesty is always the best policy, and in order to get help and make the situation better for yourself, you need to get things off your chest rather than leave it all bottled up. Can you talk to your mom about what’s happening? You should also seek professional help. Please see a counselor at your school or ask your doctor to refer you to one who can help you feel more secure. In fact, talking to any adult you feel you can trust will be helpful. An adult will be able to tell you who to turn to next for help.


Get Help Now

The Abuse Victim Hotline is 100% confidential and free: 1-877-448-8678. There’s also There's also Childhelp USA at (800) 4-A-CHILD ([800] 422-4453). Please don't be too shy or embarrassed to get help. I know it takes guts, but once you're working this out the right way, you'll feel so much better. No one will judge you, and this is in no way your fault!


Sound Off

Do you think kids should have cell phones? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Comments

IvyGlam

IvyGlam wrote:

Those your dad actually live on the compputer
commented: Fri Apr 25, 2014

IvyGlam

IvyGlam wrote:

Kids. Should have a phone for safety. Reason like if they. Get lost or. Kidnapped
commented: Fri Apr 25, 2014

JennyD

JennyD wrote:

No one needs a phone until u can buy one
commented: Sat Aug 31, 2013

there are 222 more comments

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Do You Have a Cell Phone?

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  • No - I can't afford one.
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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Thranduil
That is the type of decision capable of changing your life. However, if you don't want to be part of it (And I highly recommend not engaging in that sort of lifestyle), then as hugebear said, you should sit your sister down and explain to her why you do not want to be part of a gang and maybe since you're afraid to lose her, explain that just because you want no part in it does not mean you want to lose her as well.
reply about 1 hour
hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
Me advices is talk to her.  Tell her exactly what your feeling and you doesnt want to join and ask her why she is joining.  Tell her why you think she shouldnt and also add that you feels that you will lose her if she does.
reply about 1 hour
Alsina
Alsina posted in Family Issues:
So my big sister just recently told me she was in a gang, I kinda already figured she was but I never asked. I don't really know how to feel about it. She's like my best friend, I can come to her for anything and I'd do anything for her! Anyways she asked me if I wanted to join the family, I haven't really given her an answer yet, and she keeps trying to pull one out of me so I jokingly asked what gang she was in and she told me she was a crip.Telling me that she and her boys will have my back and stuff... I don't want to lose her if i say no but I also don't want to be in a gang.  =(
reply about 1 hour
simran88
simran88 posted in Family Issues:
I guess you should give your parents some time to accept the fact. And don't worry... everyhing wil end up fine.... :)
reply about 2 hours
simran88
simran88 posted in Family Issues:
You should probably tell your mom or ny of your siblings about it (if you have any siblings)... or maybe you should just ask your dad about it when he's in a good mood. Hope I was of help.... :)
reply about 2 hours

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