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Dear Dish-It: I Need a Phone

Dear Dish-it,


I need a phone! But my dad won’t spend an extra hundred for me, even though that’s the least he could do, since he never does anything with me and he lives on the computer, literally. What should I do?!


Bella17485115


Dear Bella,


Sounds like you’ve got two separate issues: wanting a cell phone and wanting your dad to spend more time with you. It’s really important that you separate the two issues and get it straight in your mind that one has nothing to do with the other. I agree that your dad should want to spend more time with his daughter and less time online, but that doesn’t mean he owes it to you to buy you a phone. So, if you’re gonna solve either of these problems, you’re going to have to tackle each one separately.


Quality Time

First off, let’s talk about your dad and the fact that you seem like you want him to a) pay more attention to you and b) spend more time doing things with you and less time tapping away at the computer. Sometimes the thing that works best in situations like this is asking your dad to give you a specific date and time when he’ll unglue himself from the screen and do something fun with his daughter. Mark the date down on your calendar and make sure your dad agrees to stick to it – no matter what!


Cell Sell

Now let’s deal with the phone issue. Pinpoint the exact reasons your dad doesn’t want you having a cell (remember, he doesn’t owe you anything, so there must be another reason why he doesn’t want to get you one). Is he worried you’ll spend time chatting or texting instead of doing homework? Does he want to track who’s calling you to make sure you stay out of trouble? Does he think it costs too much and he’ll end up paying for your talk time? Once you know his concerns, try to reach an agreement. Maybe you’ll only turn your cell on when you’re out (mention that he’ll always be able to reach you), talk for a set amount of time per day or let him monitor who you’ve been talking to. If you’re willing to compromise, your dad might come around. It’s possible, though, that he just can’t fit it into his budget right now. If that’s the case, have patience and, for now, enjoy the feeling of not being connected 24-7.


Getting Away

With so much bad stuff going on at home, it’s no wonder you feel like running away. But trust, me, running away is NOT the answer. Instead, you could try finding things to do that will keep you busy and out of the house. It might be a good idea to join an after-school club or activity to take your mind off things. This way, you'll boost your self-esteem and feel tons better doing it. You'll meet new friends and won't feel so down about your dad.


Talking About It

Honesty is always the best policy, and in order to get help and make the situation better for yourself, you need to get things off your chest rather than leave it all bottled up. Can you talk to your mom about what’s happening? You should also seek professional help. Please see a counselor at your school or ask your doctor to refer you to one who can help you feel more secure. In fact, talking to any adult you feel you can trust will be helpful. An adult will be able to tell you who to turn to next for help.


Get Help Now

The Abuse Victim Hotline is 100% confidential and free: 1-877-448-8678. There’s also There's also Childhelp USA at (800) 4-A-CHILD ([800] 422-4453). Please don't be too shy or embarrassed to get help. I know it takes guts, but once you're working this out the right way, you'll feel so much better. No one will judge you, and this is in no way your fault!


Sound Off

Do you think kids should have cell phones? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Comments

JennyD

JennyD wrote:

No one needs a phone until u can buy one
commented: Sat Aug 31, 2013

XX_PrettyGurlSwag_XX
thats my favorite book Dork Diaries!!
commented: Sat Aug 31, 2013

JennyD

JennyD wrote:

congrats u got a phone
commented: Tue Aug 27, 2013

there are 220 more comments

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Untitled-4

Do You Have a Cell Phone?

  • Yes - who doesn't?
  • No - my 'rents won't let me.
  • No - I can't afford one.
  • No - I don't want one.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

LollipopR
LollipopR posted in Style:
Leggings
reply about 2 hours
John Appetite
John Appetite posted in Friends:
"FloraTheWolf" wrote:One thing that I have noticed is that a lot of people seem to think they should have a boyfriend or a girlfriend as soon as possible, but they don't need to until its the right time just for them. You don't have to be forced to fall in love with someone if you don't want to. Let love come in its own time.And to keep away from any problems with her if she may become mean, try just forgetting about what happened and treat her like a normal person you know, and try to avoid any arguments. If she becomes mean, maybe just walk away for a bit. And if she is still being mean, maybe confront her asking what you have ever done to make her this way towards you. If you have done nothing, then she will have no reason to be mad at you so its not your problem she is being mean so you don't have to be stressed about it.I hope this helps! :) Thanks for the advice. This takes a burden off of my head. "Bloody Wings" wrote:ignore her be the cool kind of guy dont talk to her even if she comes and talk with you.well thats my opinion Thanks for the advice. Now I know the appropriate reaction. "Dear Dish-It" wrote: Hi there! My most important advice would be to be yourself! live your life! do the things you want to do. If you've moved past what happened with your feelings for one another, just go and enjoy your time. If things are weird, it'll be because of her, not you. Stay positive and calm and I'm sure you'll have fun!   Hope you have a good time! Thanks for helping me out Dish-It. You did not only help me out, but also wished me well. You are more like a care-taker, and you made me feel good. Thank you. Moderators can now lock the topic please. 
reply about 7 hours
Dear Dish-It
Dear Dish-It posted in Friends:
Hi there! My most important advice would be to be yourself! live your life! do the things you want to do. If you've moved past what happened with your feelings for one another, just go and enjoy your time. If things are weird, it'll be because of her, not you. Stay positive and calm and I'm sure you'll have fun!   Hope you have a good time!
reply about 14 hours
cargirl296
cargirl296 posted in Style:
I think that rubber band bracelets are totally in right now. And they are easy to make on a loom! Head scarves are also in as well. Hope you found this helpful!
reply about 17 hours
Dear Dish-It
Wow! This sounds so frustrating! Maybe talk to your mom about what's going on. Ask her why she's doing it. She might just be worried about your safety online. More and more there are unsafe people talking to kids on the internet. I'm sure your mom just has your best interest at heart. See if you two can agree on how to keep you safe online!   Good luck!
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