Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: I Need a Phone

Dear Dish-it,


I need a phone! But my dad won’t spend an extra hundred for me, even though that’s the least he could do, since he never does anything with me and he lives on the computer, literally. What should I do?!


Bella17485115


Dear Bella,


Sounds like you’ve got two separate issues: wanting a cell phone and wanting your dad to spend more time with you. It’s really important that you separate the two issues and get it straight in your mind that one has nothing to do with the other. I agree that your dad should want to spend more time with his daughter and less time online, but that doesn’t mean he owes it to you to buy you a phone. So, if you’re gonna solve either of these problems, you’re going to have to tackle each one separately.


Quality Time

First off, let’s talk about your dad and the fact that you seem like you want him to a) pay more attention to you and b) spend more time doing things with you and less time tapping away at the computer. Sometimes the thing that works best in situations like this is asking your dad to give you a specific date and time when he’ll unglue himself from the screen and do something fun with his daughter. Mark the date down on your calendar and make sure your dad agrees to stick to it – no matter what!


Cell Sell

Now let’s deal with the phone issue. Pinpoint the exact reasons your dad doesn’t want you having a cell (remember, he doesn’t owe you anything, so there must be another reason why he doesn’t want to get you one). Is he worried you’ll spend time chatting or texting instead of doing homework? Does he want to track who’s calling you to make sure you stay out of trouble? Does he think it costs too much and he’ll end up paying for your talk time? Once you know his concerns, try to reach an agreement. Maybe you’ll only turn your cell on when you’re out (mention that he’ll always be able to reach you), talk for a set amount of time per day or let him monitor who you’ve been talking to. If you’re willing to compromise, your dad might come around. It’s possible, though, that he just can’t fit it into his budget right now. If that’s the case, have patience and, for now, enjoy the feeling of not being connected 24-7.


Getting Away

With so much bad stuff going on at home, it’s no wonder you feel like running away. But trust, me, running away is NOT the answer. Instead, you could try finding things to do that will keep you busy and out of the house. It might be a good idea to join an after-school club or activity to take your mind off things. This way, you'll boost your self-esteem and feel tons better doing it. You'll meet new friends and won't feel so down about your dad.


Talking About It

Honesty is always the best policy, and in order to get help and make the situation better for yourself, you need to get things off your chest rather than leave it all bottled up. Can you talk to your mom about what’s happening? You should also seek professional help. Please see a counselor at your school or ask your doctor to refer you to one who can help you feel more secure. In fact, talking to any adult you feel you can trust will be helpful. An adult will be able to tell you who to turn to next for help.


Get Help Now

The Abuse Victim Hotline is 100% confidential and free: 1-877-448-8678. There’s also There's also Childhelp USA at (800) 4-A-CHILD ([800] 422-4453). Please don't be too shy or embarrassed to get help. I know it takes guts, but once you're working this out the right way, you'll feel so much better. No one will judge you, and this is in no way your fault!


Sound Off

Do you think kids should have cell phones? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


Related Stories
222 Comments

latest videos

Untitled-4

Do You Have a Cell Phone?

  • Yes - who doesn't?
  • No - my 'rents won't let me.
  • No - I can't afford one.
  • No - I don't want one.

related stories

Micro_cell phone_micro
My parents won’t let me have a cell phone. I am 11 years old and everyone I know has one. They al...
I'm dating this guy and everything is great - the problem is he lives four hours away. Do ...
I have a perfect life - everything seems to be going fine but it feels like there i...

Dear Dish-It in the forums

electricatheist
If you're willing to face the consequences, then yes. I know a lot of people say violence is never the answer, but in truth it sometimes is. If you really want somebody to leave you alone, then fight. If you win, it shows that you're dominant over that person and hopefully he/she will leave you alone.
reply about 1 hour
DisneyanimeLover
Lovely advice. Than you. I found this quite helpful.
reply about 2 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Honestly, I think it's better to get your feelings out sooner rather than later- maybe ask him why he's being mean to you... Though, don't say it in such a way that annoys boys... If you know what I mean.
reply about 2 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Hello. Just call me Carrots if you don't know me already. :p Anyway, I'm hoping I'll be able to make a little forum post on making friends and making sure the friendships last. ^-^ ••• I hope this helps. ••• Making friends// Making friends can be dauntless, especially if you moved schools or to a different place which is simply far away from your old friends. I mean, it's fine to keep in contact with your old friends ##-####, text, letters etc), but you do have to consider it'll be better if you can make more friends at your new location- seriously, it'll help! How to make friends// • Get talking with people- join in people's conversations; try to be a little more social- it'll be easier to make friends if you're social around people. • Have a look around- are there any clubs or events that catch your interest- maybe a drama class or art club? If you join these type of things, you're more likely to meet people who have similar interests to you. :3 • Do act yourself. That means not to be so loud that people take you in the wrong way- but don't be too quiet either- otherwise people won't notice you! • Pay attention to people when they're speaking- they'll appreciate it if you just listen to what they say and you can have your say too! • Hang out with one or two people that you already know- who knows, you might be introduced to their friends too. • Do make an effort! c: [posting more tomorrow- I'm sorry that this is absolutely terrible]
reply about 2 hours
CloudNineGirl
CloudNineGirl posted in Friends:
Aw, so cute! :)
reply about 16 hours

play online games