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Dear Dish-It: I Need a Phone

Dear Dish-it,

I need a phone! But my dad won’t spend an extra hundred for me, even though that’s the least he could do, since he never does anything with me and he lives on the computer, literally. What should I do?!


Dear Bella,

Sounds like you’ve got two separate issues: wanting a cell phone and wanting your dad to spend more time with you. It’s really important that you separate the two issues and get it straight in your mind that one has nothing to do with the other. I agree that your dad should want to spend more time with his daughter and less time online, but that doesn’t mean he owes it to you to buy you a phone. So, if you’re gonna solve either of these problems, you’re going to have to tackle each one separately.

Quality Time

First off, let’s talk about your dad and the fact that you seem like you want him to a) pay more attention to you and b) spend more time doing things with you and less time tapping away at the computer. Sometimes the thing that works best in situations like this is asking your dad to give you a specific date and time when he’ll unglue himself from the screen and do something fun with his daughter. Mark the date down on your calendar and make sure your dad agrees to stick to it – no matter what!

Cell Sell

Now let’s deal with the phone issue. Pinpoint the exact reasons your dad doesn’t want you having a cell (remember, he doesn’t owe you anything, so there must be another reason why he doesn’t want to get you one). Is he worried you’ll spend time chatting or texting instead of doing homework? Does he want to track who’s calling you to make sure you stay out of trouble? Does he think it costs too much and he’ll end up paying for your talk time? Once you know his concerns, try to reach an agreement. Maybe you’ll only turn your cell on when you’re out (mention that he’ll always be able to reach you), talk for a set amount of time per day or let him monitor who you’ve been talking to. If you’re willing to compromise, your dad might come around. It’s possible, though, that he just can’t fit it into his budget right now. If that’s the case, have patience and, for now, enjoy the feeling of not being connected 24-7.

Getting Away

With so much bad stuff going on at home, it’s no wonder you feel like running away. But trust, me, running away is NOT the answer. Instead, you could try finding things to do that will keep you busy and out of the house. It might be a good idea to join an after-school club or activity to take your mind off things. This way, you'll boost your self-esteem and feel tons better doing it. You'll meet new friends and won't feel so down about your dad.

Talking About It

Honesty is always the best policy, and in order to get help and make the situation better for yourself, you need to get things off your chest rather than leave it all bottled up. Can you talk to your mom about what’s happening? You should also seek professional help. Please see a counselor at your school or ask your doctor to refer you to one who can help you feel more secure. In fact, talking to any adult you feel you can trust will be helpful. An adult will be able to tell you who to turn to next for help.

Get Help Now

The Abuse Victim Hotline is 100% confidential and free: 1-877-448-8678. There’s also There's also Childhelp USA at (800) 4-A-CHILD ([800] 422-4453). Please don't be too shy or embarrassed to get help. I know it takes guts, but once you're working this out the right way, you'll feel so much better. No one will judge you, and this is in no way your fault!

Sound Off

Do you think kids should have cell phones? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Dear Dish-it, i always wanted to be in a band but my parents are saying you should forget about that, you should get a real future. I have fought my case by they just get it.  Please help me Bye
reply about 7 hours
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Maybe he likes you, as a friend or as more.
reply about 21 hours
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Friends grow apart as we grow up and change at different rates. It's fine to stop being friends, but it doesn't have to be in a mean way. The best thing to do is talk to her (nicely). You don't have to tell her she's being childish or you feel as if you've matured more. That would be terrible. Talk about things you guys like to do in common or make plans to try new things together. Or don't mention it at all, but don't just begin ignoring her. Eventually the friendship will fade the less time you spend together. 
reply about 23 hours
Amalegend20 posted in Friends:
You should be nice to her. If you have to break the news gently don't make her feel bad just talk to her about and see what she says  
reply 1 day
hugebear posted in Friends:
My bff and I were best friends but weve grown apart im getting older and she still wants to do kid stuff I have new friends now I feel like im being mean to her but like doesn't she get the memo I feel both guilty and mad:} Gosh.... put the shoe on  the other foot and see how would you feel if your bff done this on you. You has been bffs for the long time [Im guessing] and your maturing faster than her.  I agrees you are being mean to her if you doesnt discuss how your feeling with her and ignoring / avoiding her or whatever your doing.    She has been the good friend to you and she deserves to understand if you is growing up faster than her.  I really feels sad for how she could be feeling right now. She didnt do anything wrong.  You changed. Not her. Please be nice to your friend/ex friend and let her down gently [if you really has to] ^^ Me opinion  
reply 2 days

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