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Dear Dish-It: I Need a Phone

Dear Dish-it,


I need a phone! But my dad won’t spend an extra hundred for me, even though that’s the least he could do, since he never does anything with me and he lives on the computer, literally. What should I do?!


Bella17485115


Dear Bella,


Sounds like you’ve got two separate issues: wanting a cell phone and wanting your dad to spend more time with you. It’s really important that you separate the two issues and get it straight in your mind that one has nothing to do with the other. I agree that your dad should want to spend more time with his daughter and less time online, but that doesn’t mean he owes it to you to buy you a phone. So, if you’re gonna solve either of these problems, you’re going to have to tackle each one separately.


Quality Time

First off, let’s talk about your dad and the fact that you seem like you want him to a) pay more attention to you and b) spend more time doing things with you and less time tapping away at the computer. Sometimes the thing that works best in situations like this is asking your dad to give you a specific date and time when he’ll unglue himself from the screen and do something fun with his daughter. Mark the date down on your calendar and make sure your dad agrees to stick to it – no matter what!


Cell Sell

Now let’s deal with the phone issue. Pinpoint the exact reasons your dad doesn’t want you having a cell (remember, he doesn’t owe you anything, so there must be another reason why he doesn’t want to get you one). Is he worried you’ll spend time chatting or texting instead of doing homework? Does he want to track who’s calling you to make sure you stay out of trouble? Does he think it costs too much and he’ll end up paying for your talk time? Once you know his concerns, try to reach an agreement. Maybe you’ll only turn your cell on when you’re out (mention that he’ll always be able to reach you), talk for a set amount of time per day or let him monitor who you’ve been talking to. If you’re willing to compromise, your dad might come around. It’s possible, though, that he just can’t fit it into his budget right now. If that’s the case, have patience and, for now, enjoy the feeling of not being connected 24-7.


Getting Away

With so much bad stuff going on at home, it’s no wonder you feel like running away. But trust, me, running away is NOT the answer. Instead, you could try finding things to do that will keep you busy and out of the house. It might be a good idea to join an after-school club or activity to take your mind off things. This way, you'll boost your self-esteem and feel tons better doing it. You'll meet new friends and won't feel so down about your dad.


Talking About It

Honesty is always the best policy, and in order to get help and make the situation better for yourself, you need to get things off your chest rather than leave it all bottled up. Can you talk to your mom about what’s happening? You should also seek professional help. Please see a counselor at your school or ask your doctor to refer you to one who can help you feel more secure. In fact, talking to any adult you feel you can trust will be helpful. An adult will be able to tell you who to turn to next for help.


Get Help Now

The Abuse Victim Hotline is 100% confidential and free: 1-877-448-8678. There’s also There's also Childhelp USA at (800) 4-A-CHILD ([800] 422-4453). Please don't be too shy or embarrassed to get help. I know it takes guts, but once you're working this out the right way, you'll feel so much better. No one will judge you, and this is in no way your fault!


Sound Off

Do you think kids should have cell phones? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Untitled 4

Do You Have a Cell Phone?

  • Yes - who doesn't?
  • No - my 'rents won't let me.
  • No - I can't afford one.
  • No - I don't want one.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Clarkguild
Dear Dish-it, Sorry to be a burden, but I need some advice. About a year ago, I decided I didn't want to live with my mom and decided to move in with my dad. After my mom found out, she told me "You are no longer my child, go drop dead and rot in hell for all I care." My siblings, especially my twin, began to threaten me and my father's lives if we were to ever step foot near them again. A year later, my dad and I get in massive fights about everything I do wrong and he never seems to try and see my point of view. He often gets ##### and compares me to my mother and his previous exes. I feel lost on what to do. I feel so alone and so...hurt. Do you have any advice? I know it's pathetic of me to rant on here, but I'm clueless and on the verge of snapping.
reply 1 day
heckinmemes
have you tried punching her and your dad
reply 1 day
LUCYQWERTY123
hey there!! well i suggest u to answer back cause i think he missed u cause he hasnt see u for a year and i know he is estranged but if u answer back maybe he wont be strange so yeah :D :D :D
reply 7 days
MysticalC
My dad and I are kind of estranged, we haven't spoken in a year. So my mom decides it would be a good idea to let him message me. He texted me while I was at school and now I have no idea what to do. All he said was 'Hi _, how is school?'. Do I reply? Do I not? If I do, what do I say? My mom and grandparents are no help, they just cracked jokes about it. KidzWorld has helped me with a hell lot of things, I better not be let down this time.
reply 7 days
jordand08
Just act like you were introducing him as one of your friends. Be yourself, wear stuff that’s comfortable. It’s okay to be nervous because everyone will be. Just hang out and have fun.
reply 9 days