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Dear Dish-It: I Need a Phone

Dear Dish-it,


I need a phone! But my dad won’t spend an extra hundred for me, even though that’s the least he could do, since he never does anything with me and he lives on the computer, literally. What should I do?!


Bella17485115


Dear Bella,


Sounds like you’ve got two separate issues: wanting a cell phone and wanting your dad to spend more time with you. It’s really important that you separate the two issues and get it straight in your mind that one has nothing to do with the other. I agree that your dad should want to spend more time with his daughter and less time online, but that doesn’t mean he owes it to you to buy you a phone. So, if you’re gonna solve either of these problems, you’re going to have to tackle each one separately.


Quality Time

First off, let’s talk about your dad and the fact that you seem like you want him to a) pay more attention to you and b) spend more time doing things with you and less time tapping away at the computer. Sometimes the thing that works best in situations like this is asking your dad to give you a specific date and time when he’ll unglue himself from the screen and do something fun with his daughter. Mark the date down on your calendar and make sure your dad agrees to stick to it – no matter what!


Cell Sell

Now let’s deal with the phone issue. Pinpoint the exact reasons your dad doesn’t want you having a cell (remember, he doesn’t owe you anything, so there must be another reason why he doesn’t want to get you one). Is he worried you’ll spend time chatting or texting instead of doing homework? Does he want to track who’s calling you to make sure you stay out of trouble? Does he think it costs too much and he’ll end up paying for your talk time? Once you know his concerns, try to reach an agreement. Maybe you’ll only turn your cell on when you’re out (mention that he’ll always be able to reach you), talk for a set amount of time per day or let him monitor who you’ve been talking to. If you’re willing to compromise, your dad might come around. It’s possible, though, that he just can’t fit it into his budget right now. If that’s the case, have patience and, for now, enjoy the feeling of not being connected 24-7.


Getting Away

With so much bad stuff going on at home, it’s no wonder you feel like running away. But trust, me, running away is NOT the answer. Instead, you could try finding things to do that will keep you busy and out of the house. It might be a good idea to join an after-school club or activity to take your mind off things. This way, you'll boost your self-esteem and feel tons better doing it. You'll meet new friends and won't feel so down about your dad.


Talking About It

Honesty is always the best policy, and in order to get help and make the situation better for yourself, you need to get things off your chest rather than leave it all bottled up. Can you talk to your mom about what’s happening? You should also seek professional help. Please see a counselor at your school or ask your doctor to refer you to one who can help you feel more secure. In fact, talking to any adult you feel you can trust will be helpful. An adult will be able to tell you who to turn to next for help.


Get Help Now

The Abuse Victim Hotline is 100% confidential and free: 1-877-448-8678. There’s also There's also Childhelp USA at (800) 4-A-CHILD ([800] 422-4453). Please don't be too shy or embarrassed to get help. I know it takes guts, but once you're working this out the right way, you'll feel so much better. No one will judge you, and this is in no way your fault!


Sound Off

Do you think kids should have cell phones? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Dear Dish-It in the forums

donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
This is a really weird situation... Maybe she's feeling sorry for you?
reply about 11 hours
AnneS12
AnneS12 posted in Family Issues:
Well That is your choice who you want to stay with.Nobody can force you about it.When your parents see a family<a data-cke-saved-href=" lawyer, then he will ask you whom do you want to stay with and jury will decide.So dont worry .
reply 1 day
worldqweencc
worldqweencc posted in Friends:
I'm not quiet sure what's a real friend and what's a fake one anymore. I know when there's a friend who's only a school friend rather than an 'outside' friend as well, but at the same time it makes me so confused. Here's my story: There's a girl named Xian. We had a unique way of becoming friends ... but it clicked. For the whole year I've been trying to keep in contact with her ... but she's not very willing to try and put in any effort to stay in contact with me. Her personality is beyond sweet, and her skills at art are even better. If she was to have an award, it would be a giant trophy with her face plastered on it and big bold letters listing 'Nicest Girl In The World!' ... Its just ... she lied to me.  I was all about this friendship. I was ... i'll admit ... sort of a lost puppy following around her owner.  So, I got her this T-Shirt she really wanted for her birthday, and not long her birthday was mine, April First. I was expecting at least a letter, or maybe even something cheap. It didn't really matter to me.  But on my birthday she didn't even come to school. Nor when she got back did she ever say sorry, or give me any be-lated gift of any sort.  That should have been my first clue. Even my mother started catching on. My second clue was she even told me she was oblivious and wasn't good at keeping in contact. I thought she was joking. How could a friendship so sweet be tossed out just like that? My third one was near the end of school, one of her friends in elementary was bragging about the plushies she got from Xian. Apparently she had four from her.  Xian had originally told me it was AGAINST her religion to give out gifts to other people. I knew she wasn't lying about her religion in general, because I met her mom on a field trip and she was quiet ... different. But I didn't understand why Xian had gotten so many small plushies for her, and yet not a single small stamp for me? My last clue was the last day of school. She didn't even try to say good-bye or even hang out with me for that matter. I know what you're thinking. "Girl, you've gotta be kidding me if you can't see that she has no intention of being your friend!" But this girl was the nicest to me. She stood next to me during harsh times, and comforted me when I was down. She told me I was important.  And you don't get many friends to do those special things to you. It was rare to have a friend make me feel so tall and worthy.  ... So ... I can't understand ... why'd she do all that .... and suddenly ... just ... walk away ...
reply 2 days
catsandpizza
catsandpizza posted in Style:
American Apparel croptop, Juicy Couture velvet sweatpants and Uggs
reply 2 days
Heyyyyy_
Heyyyyy_ posted in Friends:
"donteatcarrots" wrote:I dunno, looks like something more than being friends is going on here. It's probably best to ask her face-to-face though, before jumping to conclusions. ^^^
reply 2 days

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