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Dear Dish-It: Dealing With Anger

Dear Dish-it,

I get mad a lot but I don't know how to help it. All my friends think I'm weird because I yell a lot. What do I do?

coolgirl2010

I'm So Mad!I'm So Mad!

Dear coolgirl2010,

Everyone gets angry. Anger can even be a good thing. When kids are treated unfairly, anger can help them stand up for themselves. The hard part is learning what to do with these strong feelings.

What Is Anger?

You have lots of emotions. At different times, you may be happy, sad, or jealous. Anger is just another way we feel. It's perfectly OK to be angry at times — in fact, it's important to get angry sometimes. But anger must be released in the right way. Otherwise you'll be like a pot of boiling water with the lid left on. If the steam doesn't escape, the water will finally boil over and blow its top! When that happens to you, it's no fun for anyone.

What Makes You Angry?

You may get angry when something doesn't go your way. Maybe you get mad at yourself when you don't understand your homework or when your team loses an important game. When you have a hard time reaching a goal you might become frustrated. That frustration can lead to anger. Kids who tease you or call you names can make you angry. Or you might get angry with your parents if you think one of their rules is unfair. Worst of all is when you are blamed for something you didn't do. But it's also possible to get angry and not even know why.

How Can You Tell When You're Angry?

There are different ways people feel anger. Usually your body will tell you when you are angry. Are you breathing faster? Is your face bright red? Are your muscles tense and your fists clenched tight? Do you want to break something or hit someone? [kwlink ]Anger can make you [kwlink ]yell or scream at those around you, even people you like or love. Some people keep their anger buried deep inside. If you do this, you might get a headache or your stomach might start to hurt. You may just feel crummy about yourself or start to cry. It's not good to hide your anger, so you should find a way to let it out without hurting yourself or others.

What To Do If You Get Angry

Don't lose control if you get angry. Taking it out on others never solves anything. Instead, admit to yourself that you are angry and try to figure out why. What can you do to keep the situation from happening again? If your little sister gets a toy and you don't, it's not OK to break that toy. Maybe you can ask her to share it with you. Or if your science homework is too hard, don't rip up your notebook. Ask your teacher or a parent for help instead. It helps to talk about your anger with an adult, such as a parent, teacher, or relative. Once you talk about anger, those bad feelings usually start to go away.

Here are some other things you can do when you start to feel angry:

  • talk to a friend you can trust
  • count to 10
  • get or give a hug
  • do jumping jacks or another exercise
  • draw a picture of your anger
  • play a video game
  • run around the outside of the house five times as fast as you can
  • sing along with the stereo
  • pull weeds in the garden
  • think good thoughts (maybe about a fun vacation or your favorite sport)
  • go for a bike ride, go skateboarding, play basketball — do something active!

 

Never getting angry is impossible. Instead, remember that how you act when you're angry can make the situation better or worse. Don't let anger be the boss of you. Take charge of it!

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What Do You Do When You're Angry?

  • Beat up my younger brother or sister.
  • Let it build up until I have a complete meltdown.
  • Stomp my feet and scream at the top of my lungs.
  • Take a deep breath and try to relax.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Abbergrl
Well I strongly agree with you all. It's like, wow I never knew so many people had this problem!
reply about 1 hour
Abbergrl
Abbergrl posted in Friends:
A perfect friend is one who respects your feelings and doesn't make fun of them but helps you feel better, who can drive you only slightly insane, and who will try to save you from embarrassing situations by making you see the funny side. :) :D
reply about 1 hour
Delisco
Delisco posted in Friends:
A perfect friend is one who is always there for you not minding how many times you chase them away. They are people who you can rely on solely because they have proved to be those you can trust.  They are also those you can call partners in crime. They are not judgemental . They are those who can die for you if the need arise. 
reply about 3 hours
drowning
"SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? It's really nice that your mother supports it, that always helps!! I'm glad that your family enjoys his company as well. Being 16 while he's 20 is alright. It's a slight odd age gap. But, I think as long as you both are ready, it's alright. Make sure you're mature and safe with your choices though. Personally, I think you should wait until you're closer to at least, 17. But, as long as you two are smart about what you're doing, it should be alright when it come around to it.
reply 3 days
fitta
"Shygirl15" wrote:I really like this boy in my second period class but i dont know how to tell him because he knows that im transgender do whatever makes you feel comfortable or just wing it and tell him and if he tells you something because you're trans forget about him! He doesn't deserve you. But it's totally okay if you want to play it safe and not go up to him. You do you. :3 
reply 3 days