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Dear Dish-It: Dealing With Anger

Dear Dish-it,


I get mad a lot but I don't know how to help it. All my friends think I'm weird because I yell a lot. What do I do?


coolgirl2010


Dear coolgirl2010,


Everyone gets angry. Anger can even be a good thing. When kids are treated unfairly, anger can help them stand up for themselves. The hard part is learning what to do with these strong feelings.


What Is Anger?

You have lots of emotions. At different times, you may be happy, sad, or jealous. Anger is just another way we feel. It's perfectly OK to be angry at times — in fact, it's important to get angry sometimes. But anger must be released in the right way. Otherwise you'll be like a pot of boiling water with the lid left on. If the steam doesn't escape, the water will finally boil over and blow its top! When that happens to you, it's no fun for anyone.


What Makes You Angry?

You may get angry when something doesn't go your way. Maybe you get mad at yourself when you don't understand your homework or when your team loses an important game. When you have a hard time reaching a goal you might become frustrated. That frustration can lead to anger. Kids who tease you or call you names can make you angry. Or you might get angry with your parents if you think one of their rules is unfair. Worst of all is when you are blamed for something you didn't do. But it's also possible to get angry and not even know why.


How Can You Tell When You're Angry?

There are different ways people feel anger. Usually your body will tell you when you are angry. Are you breathing faster? Is your face bright red? Are your muscles tense and your fists clenched tight? Do you want to break something or hit someone? [kwlink ]Anger can make you [kwlink ]yell or scream at those around you, even people you like or love. Some people keep their anger buried deep inside. If you do this, you might get a headache or your stomach might start to hurt. You may just feel crummy about yourself or start to cry. It's not good to hide your anger, so you should find a way to let it out without hurting yourself or others.


What To Do If You Get Angry

Don't lose control if you get angry. Taking it out on others never solves anything. Instead, admit to yourself that you are angry and try to figure out why. What can you do to keep the situation from happening again? If your little sister gets a toy and you don't, it's not OK to break that toy. Maybe you can ask her to share it with you. Or if your science homework is too hard, don't rip up your notebook. Ask your teacher or a parent for help instead. It helps to talk about your anger with an adult, such as a parent, teacher, or relative. Once you talk about anger, those bad feelings usually start to go away.


Here are some other things you can do when you start to feel angry:

  • talk to a friend you can trust
  • count to 10
  • get or give a hug
  • do jumping jacks or another exercise
  • draw a picture of your anger
  • play a video game
  • run around the outside of the house five times as fast as you can
  • sing along with the stereo
  • pull weeds in the garden
  • think good thoughts (maybe about a fun vacation or your favorite sport)
  • go for a bike ride, go skateboarding, play basketball — do something active!

Never getting angry is impossible. Instead, remember that how you act when you're angry can make the situation better or worse. Don't let anger be the boss of you. Take charge of it!


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What Do You Do When You're Angry?

  • Beat up my younger brother or sister.
  • Let it build up until I have a complete meltdown.
  • Stomp my feet and scream at the top of my lungs.
  • Take a deep breath and try to relax.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Abbergrl
Abbergrl posted in Family Issues:
Agreed. He was hiding for a reason, but noone except him knows what that is. It may have been good or bad. By telling the teacher you stopped anything bad from happening. Your grandfather was right too, but I think that telling the teacher was the right thing to do. Also, don't worry. I had an aunt who was very very close to me, but I was very small when she died and was actually laughing at those people crying their eyes out because I was little and didn't understand why they were crying so much. I didn't really feel anything right then. And now I reprimand myself for being such an idiot about it.
reply about 4 hours
awesomestream
awesomestream posted in Friends:
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reply about 6 hours
TexLex152
TexLex152 posted in Friends:
I've liked the same guy for six years. I decided this year to finally get it off my chest and tell him. It took a lot of courage, and I was gonna do it the day before graduation... Except, little did I know, he went on a trip that day and I never got the chance. I then got his ######## and built up the nerve to add him. He hasn't added me back yet, and it's been a week! I shouldn't be as stressed out as I am. I can't stop thinking about him, but I'm not gonna see him for two months. Help?
reply about 21 hours
Anna13
Anna13 posted in Family Issues:
Appreciate you as you did the right things...dont bother other things...
reply 1 day
Anna13
Anna13 posted in Family Issues:
See, one important thing is you father eventhough missed your mummy he needs somebody in his life.Thats is the main reason. So its better  you as medium (its better if you could share to your family member who knows things well) talk to hiim to stick on to one women an marry her or Just keep silent keep him some time afterall at one point of time hwe will realise things Pray to god for his betterment.........:)
reply 1 day