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Dear Dish-It: Bestie Envy

Dear Dish-it,

My BFF is extremely popular, but I'm not. She is very funny, outgoing and a good friend. But sometimes she can be annoying: she gloats a lot and pretends she doesn't care about grades, when I know she does. How do I become as popular as she is?

greenwithenvy

Green with Envy

Dear greenwithenvy,

Unfortunately, jealousy is not a very flattering emotion – being envious of your BFF (or anyone, for that matter) certainly won’t help you become more popular or well liked. However, it’s totally OK (and totally human) to feel the way you’re feeling – as long as you work to understand why and what you can do to let go of this emotion so you can become a bigger, better and (if you want) more popular person.

Talk it Out

Talking to your best friend about your feelings may help you deal with your jealousy – it’s definitely easier than holding everything in. If there’s something she does really well that you want to become better at (like making new friends, for example), ask her what her “secret” is – or, let her know that you’d like to be included or introduced when she meets someone new. By talking to her, you may also discover that she admires certain things that you are really good at, like getting good grades. Better than being jealous of your bestie is appreciating each other’s talents, learning from each other and helping each other to improve and succeed. That’s what friends are for, right?!

Be a Better Friend

While you may not have control over how many people your BFF is texting or how popular she is, something you do have total control over (and can make you a better person overall) is how good a friend you are to her – and others. Being jealous is not only unattractive, it’s also very unproductive and won’t get you anywhere, but being supportive and a great friend to your bestie will! People will see what a wonderful friend you are and give you credit for that. Instead of being envious of your friend’s talents, be proud of the things you can do really well, like being a great BFF!