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Dear Dish-It: Bestie Envy

Dear Dish-it,


My BFF is extremely popular, but I'm not. She is very funny, outgoing and a good friend. But sometimes she can be annoying: she gloats a lot and pretends she doesn't care about grades, when I know she does. How do I become as popular as she is?


greenwithenvy


Dear greenwithenvy,


Unfortunately, jealousy is not a very flattering emotion – being envious of your BFF (or anyone, for that matter) certainly won’t help you become more popular or well liked. However, it’s totally OK (and totally human) to feel the way you’re feeling – as long as you work to understand why and what you can do to let go of this emotion so you can become a bigger, better and (if you want) more popular person.


Talk it Out

Talking to your best friend about your feelings may help you deal with your jealousy – it’s definitely easier than holding everything in. If there’s something she does really well that you want to become better at (like making new friends, for example), ask her what her “secret” is – or, let her know that you’d like to be included or introduced when she meets someone new. By talking to her, you may also discover that she admires certain things that you are really good at, like getting good grades. Better than being jealous of your bestie is appreciating each other’s talents, learning from each other and helping each other to improve and succeed. That’s what friends are for, right?!


Be a Better Friend

While you may not have control over how many people your BFF is texting or how popular she is, something you do have total control over (and can make you a better person overall) is how good a friend you are to her – and others. Being jealous is not only unattractive, it’s also very unproductive and won’t get you anywhere, but being supportive and a great friend to your bestie will! People will see what a wonderful friend you are and give you credit for that. Instead of being envious of your friend’s talents, be proud of the things you can do really well, like being a great BFF!


Sound Off

What do you think greenwithenvy should do? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Are You A Jealous Person?

  • Yeah, I tend to get jealous a lot.
  • Not really. It's rare that I feel jealous about something.
  • No way! Getting jealous is such a waste of time.
  • I don't know.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
"SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? It's really nice that your mother supports it, that always helps!! I'm glad that your family enjoys his company as well. Being 16 while he's 20 is alright. It's a slight odd age gap. But, I think as long as you both are ready, it's alright. Make sure you're mature and safe with your choices though. Personally, I think you should wait until you're closer to at least, 17. But, as long as you two are smart about what you're doing, it should be alright when it come around to it.
reply 3 days
fitta
"Shygirl15" wrote:I really like this boy in my second period class but i dont know how to tell him because he knows that im transgender do whatever makes you feel comfortable or just wing it and tell him and if he tells you something because you're trans forget about him! He doesn't deserve you. But it's totally okay if you want to play it safe and not go up to him. You do you. :3 
reply 3 days
fitta
"SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? i suggest you wait i mean you are going to be 16 that's way too young to be dating someone who is 4/5 years older than you,no? You can still talk to him when it comes to your anxiety attacks and all of that because I have those too every night so I know how it feels, but maybe you should wait. But at the end of the day it's your decision I'm just here to give advice 
reply 3 days
SatanslilDemon
Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice???
reply 3 days
SmartSunnyShadow
I feel like that too. My best friend will always hang out with her 'new friends' that I have a really bad opinion about. My friend will treat me rudely all the time and sometimes make fun of me with her friends. But, when I needed her the most in my life, she was there for me, and I told her how I felt. She says that she just wants to hang out with more people and apologized, people can be a little teasy at times.  Also, after seeing each other for a long time, people make new friends and start hanging out with them more, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like you.  This may be different for you, but just tell her about it, she will have to know you feelings at one point.  Hope I helped you. 
reply 3 days