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Dear Dish-It: Bestie Envy

Dear Dish-it,


My BFF is extremely popular, but I'm not. She is very funny, outgoing and a good friend. But sometimes she can be annoying: she gloats a lot and pretends she doesn't care about grades, when I know she does. How do I become as popular as she is?


greenwithenvy


Dear greenwithenvy,


Unfortunately, jealousy is not a very flattering emotion – being envious of your BFF (or anyone, for that matter) certainly won’t help you become more popular or well liked. However, it’s totally OK (and totally human) to feel the way you’re feeling – as long as you work to understand why and what you can do to let go of this emotion so you can become a bigger, better and (if you want) more popular person.


Talk it Out

Talking to your best friend about your feelings may help you deal with your jealousy – it’s definitely easier than holding everything in. If there’s something she does really well that you want to become better at (like making new friends, for example), ask her what her “secret” is – or, let her know that you’d like to be included or introduced when she meets someone new. By talking to her, you may also discover that she admires certain things that you are really good at, like getting good grades. Better than being jealous of your bestie is appreciating each other’s talents, learning from each other and helping each other to improve and succeed. That’s what friends are for, right?!


Be a Better Friend

While you may not have control over how many people your BFF is texting or how popular she is, something you do have total control over (and can make you a better person overall) is how good a friend you are to her – and others. Being jealous is not only unattractive, it’s also very unproductive and won’t get you anywhere, but being supportive and a great friend to your bestie will! People will see what a wonderful friend you are and give you credit for that. Instead of being envious of your friend’s talents, be proud of the things you can do really well, like being a great BFF!


Sound Off

What do you think greenwithenvy should do? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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31 Comments

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Are You A Jealous Person?

  • Yeah, I tend to get jealous a lot.
  • Not really. It's rare that I feel jealous about something.
  • No way! Getting jealous is such a waste of time.
  • I don't know.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

SimplyAda
I can relate very much.  :e  It happens a lot. But here's one thing, try not to date. At my middle school, everyone literally dates everybody and relationships never last. Part of the reason is that most of us aren't in that mature phase yet (mostly boys). As the days go by, we're growing. But, it's completely normal to have a crush on a boy. :) :thumbsup
reply 18 minutes
SmartSunnyShadow
Sorry for the late reply, but I'd love to help. If they don't want to talk to you, or don't like your jokes, don't talk to them. They probably don't like you, so you shouldn't try to make it better. You should hang out with your other friends. They'll make you feel better about yourself. If you don't have any friends in your class...that's the problem.  That's exactly what happened to me last year. But I started hanging out with the guys more, and they were really nice and had a lot in common with me. Maybe the guys will be nice to you and accept you. I hope I helped you. :)   
reply about 7 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Aw, that's sad. I know this is a late review, but I would love to help you make new friends. There are kids that do nasty things at every single school, trust me, you'll never find a perfect school, and if people are reporting this form of bullying, teachers are probably supervising children more, so don't worry about that. :) Now making new friends, ahh, that's very difficult. I can be shy myself, but it honestly depends. What I usually do is observe different groups of people, and see how they interact with each other. If the person seems nice, wait until the time is appropriate and greet them. A friendly "Hi, I'm new, could you maybe show me around, or help me with this, or tell me about this school?" That will start off a conversation. :)  As well, I tend to make jokes, or go to my funny side. I usually make way more friends that way. You could try to make slight jokes, and gradually make them less implied and more clear as you joke around.  If there are any other new kids, or shy kids, definitely talk to them. If there are any kids that look lonely, or sad, maybe take some time to approach them. If they look like the want to be left alone, leave them alone. If you're not sure, it's best if you see someone else interact with them first.  If you're bisexual, that doesn't really matter, and don't bring that fact up in a conversation. That's kind of personal, and when you get a little closer, you can say that. It's not really important, and necessary for people to know that. And it's personal too. So don't bring that up unless you really want to.  I hope i helped you! Sorry for the late advice. >_< 
reply about 7 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Several people are having the same problem as you. Whether they're the same gender or not, many people crush on some of their closest friends. So don't feel alone, remember that. I know this is some late advice, but I hope so far things are going good. Many people are feeling the urge of confessing like you. Yes, I think you should confess to her clearly, but when the time is right. She may not like you, but if you really really like her, you should absolutely confess to her. But be aware that confessing to one of your friends can ruin your friendship. You have to be cautious, confess when the time is right. 5 months may be long for you, but honestly, that's a short-term crush. Don't rush your confession, and don't give up unless you think you should. Getting over someone can be incredibly hard too, but you're either going to get over her, or confess to her. When the time is right, confess. When the time never seems to come, I'm sorry, but unfortunately, I think it's best if you get over her, because you have to be 100% sure before you confess to someone. You're risking your friendship to, so think if it's really worth it.  I hope I helped you. :) 
reply about 7 hours
vwala_12
vwala_12 posted in Friends:
I guess I mean I have been in a lot of drama since the school year started I also recommend if the bullying gets worst tell someone and don’t just walk away it will be worst if you do and if there gonna beat you up just run and tell a teacher or tell your parent so always keep alert!
reply about 8 hours