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Dear Dish-It, I Dated My Karate Teacher

Dear Dish-It,

I can't seem to stop arguing! I just can't stop arguing and I know it's mainly my fault. Is there a way I can just shut up before I start arguing?
A_the_Arguer

Dear A_the_Arguer,

Yep. There is something that can help you "just shut up" it's called thinking. And another way is to control your temper. You're gonna realize that lots of people, things, situations, etc. irk you but you can't blow up about all of them. It takes too much energy, too much time, and quite frankly, it doesn't make you all that much fun to be around. Next time someone does or says something that ticks you off - or that you don't agree with or whatever - take a minute and ponder it in your head. Decide whether it's really all that important to your life and your well-being to explain to whoever that they're wrong and you're right. Sometimes, it's just easier to keep it to yourself.

Dear Dish-It,

I don't know how to kiss.
googleyeyes

Dear googleyeyes,

Yes, you do. See, here's the beauty of kissing... there is no "right" or "wrong" way to do it. Sure, people have preferences - some like long slobbery kisses and some like short non-slobbery kisses or short slobbery kisses or whatever - but it's not brain surgery. Do you have lips? That's really the only requirement. (Although minty-fresh breath is a definite plus!) You'll also find out that kissing is different with every person you do it with. Again, it's cuz everybody has their own style. You'll develop your style over time. My tips to you, as a newbie, would be try not to knock noses, close your eyes (cuz it's uncomfortable to stare at someone that close-up) and aim for the lips. Good luck!

Dear Dish-It,

I am 15 and I'm at boarding school. I don't see my mum a lot so we tend to tell each other a lot when we see each other. I recently dated a guy who was a few years older than me - he was 18 and my karate trainer. I told mum because we tell each other everything. She got really mad and wouldn't talk to me for a week! When we broke up, she was happy that I was a bit mad with him. When we started talking again she got angry, called his boss and banned us from talking. I often catch him staring at me and he flirts a lot but he was the one who broke it off. I don't know what to do! I think he still likes me but how can I go out with him without my parents or his boss finding out? PLEASE HELP.
Candy

Dear Candy,

You can't go out with him again - at least not behind your 'rents back. It's just not a cool thing to do. Judging by what you've told me, I would guess that he does still like ya and was forced to end it by pressure from your 'rents and his boss. Which, kudos for him, was the right thing to do. He respects your parents wishes and that's cool. I think you need to talk with your mum and figure out what her biggest issues are with this relationship. Is it that he is older than you? Is it that he's your "teacher?" Is it both? You say you guys are tight, so next time you see your mum, have a heart-to-heart about this. Explain to her how much you like him and how much fun you have with him and see if there is any way you can get her approval. If you can't, you probably need to let it go until your a bit older and then try to talk to her again.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to here. But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share, We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Poll 4

Have You Had Your First Kiss?

  • Yeah, like a million years ago!
  • No, I'm too nervous to kiss anyone.
  • No, I'm waiting for the right person.
  • Yeah, it was awful!

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Autonomy
Autonomy posted in Family Issues:
"StarrChild" wrote: Two years ago my parents broke up. I was never really the same after that point. My mother she began to just not care about anything. She would go out clubbing every Friday and would yell at me for my attitude towards it. Why would I be okay with her doing that??? I didn't really realise it but I began feeling kind of depressed. Of course we didn't fight all the time but when we did I would always end up crying alone in my room. And it would be really painful. One time I cried every night for a week because of her. A week ago, I felt really sick at school so I went to the sick bay but my Mum refused to believe I was sick. She thought I was lying and being over dramatic as usual. I felt really horrible after that, that the teacher sent me to the guidance councellor and almost immediately I burst into tears. I didn't even know why I did but the councellor did a little test on me and came to the conclusion I was slightly depressed and had anxiety. It wasn't really surprising but hearing it out loud just felt really weird. Even after knowing that fact my mother doesn't really act any different. She's not a bad person I swear but she can just be really horrible at times. Anyways, that's technically whats been happening in my life lol. Nothing really interesting Oh dear, that sounds like a dreadful situation. I've lived through similar difficulties in my own life, and my heart goes out to you, truly. May I offer you some advice? I don't have the cure to your problems or a magic wand that can make them disappear, but I do believe that some good can come out of your living situation. The first thing I'd like to make note of, is that everyone makes mistakes. As human beings, we have to make mistakes. There's no way around it; it's how we learn and grow. And as we get older, we don't stop making mistakes. Your parents are no exception. Although we look to our parents for guidance, and direction, and support, we have to understand that they aren't perfect people, and they make mistakes. They may not always lead us in the right direction. They may not always set a good example. They may not always be there for us, to encourage us and support us when we need them most. And that's okay. Everyone makes mistakes, and we have to accept that. But we can't let allow other people's mistakes to hurt us, my dear. And I know it hurts. Your mum might not understand how her actions make you feel. You said you haven't been the same since your parents divorced, and I know how challenging that can be to go through. But you know, some of the brightest, wisest, and happiest people I've met, are people who have dealt with difficult problems in their lives, and used them to grow as people. You can let your parents' mistakes get to you, and make you upset and depressed; or, you can accept that they aren't perfect people, accept that they make mistakes, and accept that their mistakes don't have anything to do with you. So here's what you do, friend: you can't stop your mum from going clubbing, and that's okay. Don't try to. Don't fight with her about it. You can let her know how it makes you feel, but don't get into an argument. Accept the situation for what it is. Your mother is her own person, and she is accountable for what she does; you aren't. Next time you start to get in a fight or an argument with her, just step back, and withdraw yourself. Try it, see what happens. Once you decide not to let other peoples' failings affect you--and you do have the power to do this--then you'll find a sense of peace you probably haven't felt before. And you'll learn from your mistakes, and the mistakes of your parents, and everyone around you, and you'll be a better person. Press on.
reply 23 minutes
Dounuts
Dounuts posted in Family Issues:
Go to your neighbor's house and ask him/her to call to police.Everything will be just fine.
reply about 6 hours
RavenClawRaina
my ex is going through the same thing. Call the police now. Things will get out of hand. My brothers friend has been living with us for about 2 weeks becuz his dad punched him in the face. Call 911 now. They will help you. Just say you have been abused by your family member and they will take it from there. If you want, add me and we can talk
reply about 7 hours
XxRuby_PhoenixxX
If you are getting abused to the point where you bleed, call the police immediately. This isn't acceptable behavior.
reply about 7 hours
MRAP
MRAP posted in Family Issues:
Hey, Just wanted some advice to help me on what to do on this. Ever since I was 3 I've been both Verbally, Mentally, And Physically abused. To me, this is normal since it's been happening for so long. But I just can't take this thing anymore. When I get home I always get yelled at for no reason. I have been on Anti-Depressants for the past 1-2 years. Been going to counseling for 6-7 years for family. Nothing has changed yet. I just need help on how to handle this. Thanks.
reply about 7 hours