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Dear Dish-It, I Dated My Karate Teacher

Dear Dish-It,

I can't seem to stop arguing! I just can't stop arguing and I know it's mainly my fault. Is there a way I can just shut up before I start arguing?
A_the_Arguer

Dear A_the_Arguer,

Yep. There is something that can help you "just shut up" it's called thinking. And another way is to control your temper. You're gonna realize that lots of people, things, situations, etc. irk you but you can't blow up about all of them. It takes too much energy, too much time, and quite frankly, it doesn't make you all that much fun to be around. Next time someone does or says something that ticks you off - or that you don't agree with or whatever - take a minute and ponder it in your head. Decide whether it's really all that important to your life and your well-being to explain to whoever that they're wrong and you're right. Sometimes, it's just easier to keep it to yourself.

Dear Dish-It,

I don't know how to kiss.
googleyeyes

Dear googleyeyes,

Yes, you do. See, here's the beauty of kissing... there is no "right" or "wrong" way to do it. Sure, people have preferences - some like long slobbery kisses and some like short non-slobbery kisses or short slobbery kisses or whatever - but it's not brain surgery. Do you have lips? That's really the only requirement. (Although minty-fresh breath is a definite plus!) You'll also find out that kissing is different with every person you do it with. Again, it's cuz everybody has their own style. You'll develop your style over time. My tips to you, as a newbie, would be try not to knock noses, close your eyes (cuz it's uncomfortable to stare at someone that close-up) and aim for the lips. Good luck!

Dear Dish-It,

I am 15 and I'm at boarding school. I don't see my mum a lot so we tend to tell each other a lot when we see each other. I recently dated a guy who was a few years older than me - he was 18 and my karate trainer. I told mum because we tell each other everything. She got really mad and wouldn't talk to me for a week! When we broke up, she was happy that I was a bit mad with him. When we started talking again she got angry, called his boss and banned us from talking. I often catch him staring at me and he flirts a lot but he was the one who broke it off. I don't know what to do! I think he still likes me but how can I go out with him without my parents or his boss finding out? PLEASE HELP.
Candy

Dear Candy,

You can't go out with him again - at least not behind your 'rents back. It's just not a cool thing to do. Judging by what you've told me, I would guess that he does still like ya and was forced to end it by pressure from your 'rents and his boss. Which, kudos for him, was the right thing to do. He respects your parents wishes and that's cool. I think you need to talk with your mum and figure out what her biggest issues are with this relationship. Is it that he is older than you? Is it that he's your "teacher?" Is it both? You say you guys are tight, so next time you see your mum, have a heart-to-heart about this. Explain to her how much you like him and how much fun you have with him and see if there is any way you can get her approval. If you can't, you probably need to let it go until your a bit older and then try to talk to her again.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to here. But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share, We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Poll 4

Have You Had Your First Kiss?

  • Yeah, like a million years ago!
  • No, I'm too nervous to kiss anyone.
  • No, I'm waiting for the right person.
  • Yeah, it was awful!

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Error101
Error101 posted in Friends:
Okay so I have this friend and I don't like the type of person she is and I wouldn't be friends with her but her mom takes me to gymnastics every week.  I  had her over to spend the night and she lied about everything to me.  She kept telling me that she used to think I was weird and she didn't like me and it kind of hurt my feelings...  I would never tell someone that even if it was true.  She cusses and is a bad influence and she lies a ton.  There are a ton of bad qualities about her, and very few good ones.  I can't be mean to her because she is how I get to gymnastics but I don't really want to be her friend.  What should I do?  :(
reply 15 minutes
Wonderfulcalico
My parents have always been aggressive and abusive and I only just noticed it a couple months ago. Over time they've gotten worse (specifically my mother). Whenever she gets mad she'll yell at us and if she gets mad enough she'll hit and push us around. Whoever we get into arguments it's always one- sided and she always wins, even if she knows she is wrong. An argument we had not to long ago was about me not taking care of myself. She looked at my hair and started to touch it and told me "Your hair isn't soft why is it so dry, it's probably because you aren't taking care of your hair." Then she goes on to tell me that she's going to cut it and all of this other stuff when she knows I'm conscious about me looking like a boy ( Used to get called a boy for having short hair). As the argument goes on, I start to tell her things that she knows she is wrong about. She proceeds to yell at me then grabs me by the face and say "If you don't lower your tone and listen to what I'm saying I'm going to knock you in the head." Then she goes on to tell me she remembers nothing I was saying and that it's a lie. She also hit me when I didn't clean the laundry room correctly and whenever she gets fed up. I'm constantly having to watch what I say and do, because I'm scared that I'm going to end up hurt. She also likes to degrade me and tell how bad I'm doing. She's said plenty of thing like when I didn't have my bed covers tucked in she yelled at me and hit me and I said "Do you expect me to just stand here and take this", and she replied saying "That's what you are supposed to do you are the child and I am the adult, you take whatever I do until I'm done." Another time is when I had my band concert and I had to pick out the right attire. When we went shopping to get the clothing I chose slacks when she liked a skirt better, we went on to fight in the store and she bought the slacks. When we got home she said to me that real girls wear skirts and dresses and boys wear slacks and pants. This hurt me because she knows I have a past with people telling me I look like a boy etc. Another time I started to sleep on the floor, because I was practicing a minimalist life. When I left my pillows on the floor she found it and questioned me on why they were there. I told her it fell of my bed when really I left it there. Later when I told my dad, he told her and she got mad because I was getting cat hair on my pillows. She then proceeded to ask why I lied and I told her sometimes lying is better then the truth (I knew she would get mad that I was sleeping on the floor so I lied) then she told me that I was never going to have a relationship, a job, or friends ( This hurt me because I don't have friends now). She's also said that I don't take care of my body because I ate two sweets in one day which lead her to banning me from Doritos and now I have to ask to get chips and any other snack. She's told me I don't take care of my teeth because I have yellow spots from using whitening toothpaste with braces on. She's told me I don't take care of my hair so I can't wash it or do any hair style or then a bun. She had lead me to starving myself (Unless she makes me eat) and cutting myself. I've just stopped caring, because what ever I do is always wrong. I never get a choice in my activities, she controls my life in fact she me just in a different body. But what is even worse is that she's turning my dad into her. Now I have a scheduled time to eat breakfast and lunch, and to go onto my electronics. I feel like I'm in a prison with my parents constantly watching over me, in fact yesterday when I was pouring my milk my mom got out a measuring cup and poured my milk into the measuring cup and said "Why isn't this a full cup" and I replied saying "Because I don't measure my milk." Then she got angry at me. There's so much I could say about her, but I'll stop. Anyways my father is always sarcastic and he doesn't realize how much it hurts me. Today I was cleaning out my bag for next school year and my dad came in and said, "Wow, you aren't even dress yet and I had to come up here to tell you how sad." Just little things like that hurt me. My little sister got mad at me last week for sitting in a certain area and she said " Why are you sitting there," and I didn't reply because I didn't want to speak to her and she then said, "Probably because you are too stupid to answer." I wanted to break down crying then and there, but I kept it in. I've limited my talking to her, because all she does is break me down. Like when there was a Proactive commercial and she said, "Ha, you need that." That hurt me because just the other my mom was telling me how I don't take care of my face and that's why I have acne. My older sister and I barely talk, because whenever I try to talk to her she's mad for what ever reason and when my parents were talking about hitting my sister she was in the corner laughing. My cat Preston is very young and I got hi,abo a year ago. I get very sad and often cry, because I've seen him turn out scared and aggressive just like me because he's been through what I have. One time he pooped in a clothes basket (It's right next to his litter box) my mom grabbed him by the neck and hit him while she smothered his face in his poop, all while yelling at him. I was going to call the Animal Protective Services, but I got too scared and I realized how lonely I would be. Please help me I'm not sure what to do anymore. Also sorry for the very long post!
reply 3 days
Error101
Error101 posted in Family Issues:
Dear Kkmr324, I hope you get to feeling better as time goes on.  It does get better but like you said you can't actually get over it.  Losing someone to cancer is awful and I have never lost a friend and I hope I never will and I am so sorry that you did, but I have lost family to cancer and it is horrible.  I hope your okay. :(
reply 5 days
Kkrmr324
Kkrmr324 posted in Family Issues:
A few months ago,my friend Kendall died of cancer. It was really hard to "get over it"; because really you dont just get over it. One thing i did was find a bunch of pictures of me and Kendall and remembered all the fun we had together. And it helped! I still miss her, but good friends and family helped with that.
reply 7 days
Kkrmr324
Kkrmr324 posted in Family Issues:
A few months ago,my friend Kendall died of cancer. It was really hard to "get over it"; because really you dont just get over it. One thing i did was find a bunch of pictures of me and Kendall and remembered all the fun we had together. And it helped! I still miss her, but good friends and family helped with that.
reply 7 days