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Dear Dish-It: I Like My BFF’s Crush

Dear Dish-It,

My BFF has a huge crush on this cool and cute guy, but I think he likes me. I’m starting to crush on him, too, but I’m scared it will ruin my friendship with my BFF. I feel so guilty … what should I do? I need them both!

jojo

Dear jojo,

First thing’s first: don’t beat yourself up for having feelings for someone. I know this is a tough situation, but when you like someone, you like someone. If this guy was your BFF’s boyfriend … that would be a different story. But who’s to say you and your friend can’t crush on the same guy at the same time?!

Decisions, Decisions

Once you come to term with your feelings, it’s time to make a decision. The fact is, if you end up going for this guy, there’s a chance it could ruin your friendship with your BFF. The decision you need to make should center around this question: is this guy really worth losing your best friend over? If he is, then it’s time to get real and get honest with everyone – including yourself – and reveal your feelings. Whatever you do, don’t try and hide this from your BFF; the results of lying could be disastrous.

Keeping Your BFF

If you decide that no, this guy is NOT worth losing your friendship over, then you have to stop hanging out with him, stop spending time with him and try to avoid seeing him as much as possible. You may or may not want to tell your BFF what happened; if you think it will do more harm than good, you may not want to say anything and just work on moving on from your crush.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for jojo? Leave your comment below!

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Do Your Crushes Always Crush Back?

  • Yeah, my crushes always crush back.
  • Most of my crushes have felt the same way about me.
  • No - my crushes hardly ever feel the same way about me.
  • I've never really crushed on anyone.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

bookwormlestrange
I don't have ADHD, but I know plenty about it. One of my friends has ADHD and Tourette's, and the teachers were always turds about it. Anyway, i think that a good way to deal with ADHD acting up is either changing medication or trying to eat foods or drinks with caffeine. I'm not sure if it works for you, but a lot of people with ADHD have seen significant improvements after putting caffeine in their systems. If your friends are acting like turds, you need better friends. I hope my advice helps.
reply about 19 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
I have one so annoying sister, that it feels like I have 200 of them, oh my god. She's pounding on the door right now, HELP! 
reply 1 day
SmartSunnyShadow
Dad, obviously. I can't even explain what he does to me!
reply 1 day
SmartSunnyShadow
Well, if they are your BFFs, they shouldn't be teasing you to make you feel bad. Me, and my BFFs tease each other all the time playfully, but I understand that this is different, and if it's making you feel bad it isn't playful at all.   Maybe your eldest friend is having some trouble with family issues, bad grades, body changes, etc. It's okay to be angry, so maybe you should leave her space for a few days, and see if it turns better. If it isn't, then try to first make her calm down. Then, make her talk to you about why she is so angry and ask if you can try to help. If nothing turns out better, tell her that you feel uncomfortable, and you want her to talk to you.  For your 3rd eldest friend, support her as much as possible, and stand up for her in this terrible situation. If you are all BFFs, then you should all be very close and comfortable around each other, and the fight shouldn't last long. If not, they are not your real friends, and you have to go on without them. I have tons of advice on how to make new friends, so just ask me if you want to know. Your 2nd eldest friend seems to be the main problem.  First of all, tell her to stop, and say how you don't like her bullying you. You must say what she is doing wrong, and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care, tell her you're serious, and you hate what she is doing to you. If it continues, ignore what trash she is saying, and just simply walk away. Focus on other things that will help make you feel better. Remember, all she is is a person, and it's up to you to act appropriately.  Stay positive, and calm. Focus on other things, and if she continues, tell her that you can all be friends and you miss her. Go get another friend to stand up with you, and tell her that you will report to an adult if she won't stop. She may be your friend, but she deserves it. I told on my BFF when she was mean, so it's all okay now.  If all else fails, get a trusted adult, and hang out with nicer friends. Your other friends will learn from their mistakes. If not, warn them, and give them a sincere kindness note of how you miss being friends. Then, also give one to the bully.
reply 1 day
AnnaOfExquizurd
Yeah, @CyclonicBass the best option really is to find a girl with a quirky personality. Become friends with her. Possibly, over time, she'll grow close to you and accept a request to be with you. Hope it goes well!
reply 2 days