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Dear Dish-It: I Like My BFF’s Crush

Dear Dish-It,

My BFF has a huge crush on this cool and cute guy, but I think he likes me. I’m starting to crush on him, too, but I’m scared it will ruin my friendship with my BFF. I feel so guilty … what should I do? I need them both!

jojo

Dear jojo,

First thing’s first: don’t beat yourself up for having feelings for someone. I know this is a tough situation, but when you like someone, you like someone. If this guy was your BFF’s boyfriend … that would be a different story. But who’s to say you and your friend can’t crush on the same guy at the same time?!

Decisions, Decisions

Once you come to term with your feelings, it’s time to make a decision. The fact is, if you end up going for this guy, there’s a chance it could ruin your friendship with your BFF. The decision you need to make should center around this question: is this guy really worth losing your best friend over? If he is, then it’s time to get real and get honest with everyone – including yourself – and reveal your feelings. Whatever you do, don’t try and hide this from your BFF; the results of lying could be disastrous.

Keeping Your BFF

If you decide that no, this guy is NOT worth losing your friendship over, then you have to stop hanging out with him, stop spending time with him and try to avoid seeing him as much as possible. You may or may not want to tell your BFF what happened; if you think it will do more harm than good, you may not want to say anything and just work on moving on from your crush.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for jojo? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
You doesnt have to come out to your family until your ready and until they is ready too.  If you blurt it out it could be the shock.  You says that you think your Mums side of the family will be more supportive.  Has you got an Aunty or Uncle what you could discuss this with?  An adult member of your family what is most likely supportive  could probably give the best advises on how to tell your family and when and how and prepares you for how they will react. Good luck mate and takes your time :angel
reply about 3 hours
Mrawsomegamer
I think my mothers side of the family would be fine with it. It's my dad's side I'm most concerned about. My dad says some dreadfully terrible remarks about homosexual people. I think I'm not gunna tell him at all. Ever...  Either way. Thanks for the advice!
reply about 3 hours
Kirsteeeeen
If you don't think that you'll be in a safe situation (for example, your parents try to kick you out, or hurt you physically or emotionally) than you should definitely wait to tell them. I think you'll know when the time is right. We can't tell you how they'll react, but I bet you can sort of figure it out from how they feel and act about these topics.  Remember, you are not obligated to tell anybody at all. It's personal. Wait until you're for sure ready to tell them. And when you do, tell them the way in which it's easiest. Get your point across, offer resources, reassurance, and give them time. 
reply about 3 hours
Mrawsomegamer
Hey guys, so I do kinda have a personal issue, but I need to tell my family about it. Truth is, I'm not even sure how they'll even react. Very few of my friends know, only the ones I trust anyway... I'm gay. Or at least bisexual. I kinda had a thing for girls, but that was a long time ago. I think I'm fully gay. I have a very supportive boyfriend, who loves me with all his heart. But that's not what it's about; it's actually coming out to my family, whom I know some of them are quite homophobic. Homophobia runs in my family. Sorta...  It makes my stomach turn when I think about it. I sometimes look into the mirror, look at myself and think if my conscience suddenly made me decide I was gay, or if I was born with it. Science tells us that we are born that way, due to lack of man chemicals entering a boys brain when in development. I feel like I've chosen it (even though I know deep inside I haven't) to be gay, probably because of my family almost forcing me into getting a girlfriend and such. I come from a Catholic family, to make things even worse. I'm like the only practising person in my family, but somehow I feel that they'll use my Faith against me if I come out.  So, should I just wait until I'm older? How do I know when the time is right? How will they even react? How should I even say it?  Please help!
reply about 4 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
This thread has been moved. Click here to see the new thread.
reply about 5 hours

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