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Dear Dish-It, My Friend Is Being Abused


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I have a friend whose parents abuse her. I know this cuz she is my best friend and she tells me everything. I also know, for a fact, that she wouldn't lie about something this serious. I've already told her to talk to the school counsellor, but she won't. She made me promise not to tell anyone but I feel like it's my duty as a friend to make sure she's alright. She acts as if it's no big deal but I know she's hurtin' inside.
Confused


Dear Confused,

Well, first off let me tell ya what an incredible friend you are. I think your bud is very lucky to have someone like you on her side. Also, you've done the right thing so far. It's important you let her know you're there for her and you are kinda trying to push her into talking to someone. Now, there are lots of kinds of abuse and I am not sure if your friend is being abused sexually, physically, emotionally or another way. In the end, each kind of abuse is horrible and needs to be stopped as soon as possible.


Since she's not ready to chat face-to-face with a counsellor, you might want to recommend some of the more anonymous ways, like web sites and help lines. There is a good one called www.childhelpusa.org that has advice and toll-free digits she can call. There is also the National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453,) which your friend can call 24 hours a day for help and advice - and no one has to know who she is or where she's from or anything.


If she's into reading, there are lots of books on this subject as well. Two books recommended for teens coping with abuse are When Parents Have Problems: A Book for Teens and Older Children With an Abusive, Alcoholic, or Mentally Ill Parent by Susan B. Miller and Dealing With Difficult Parents: And With Parents in Difficult Situations by Todd Whitaker and Douglas J. Fiore. Both reads are available at www.amazon.com The most important thing for you to keep doing is encouraging her to get help and supporting her. If you feel that her life is in danger, it doesn't matter what you promised her, you need to tell your 'rents and get her away from her parents.


Dear Dish-It,

I hate my cousin so much!! I've talked to my parents about sending her far away to Alaska and they said no! Here's the problem... I'm a big B2K maniac and when they first came out, my sister was hatin' on them. She'd be talkin' bout how they're ugly, they can't dance or sing, blah, blah, blah! Then, when the video for Why I Love U came out, she's all over them like gravy on a biscuit! Now everytime there on TV, she puts a tape in the VCR and records it. She also bought a poster of J-Boog!!! But, when I ask her if she likes B2K, she's all like, no?! She acts like I'm the stupidest person in the world and I can't find out what she does! Man, I hate her so much! What should I do?
~*~Queen~*~


Dear ~*~Queen~*~,

Gee, are you a B2K fan? Now, your sis/cuz (not sure which she is because you start off saying cousin and then switch to sister,) started off dissin' your fave group, and now secretly has a thing for 'em. Right? Okay... so what? No offense, ~*~Queen~*~, but there are a million people who have a thing for J-Boog and B2K. She's probably just lying about liking 'em because she's embarassed. Maybe her friends don't like them or something. I love *NSYNC but no one I know does, so I was a lil' shy about tellin' my peeps at first. It could be like that for your sis/cuz. Or, she could just like how crazy it makes you when she denies it. Either way, you just need to chill and forget about whether she likes B2K or not. Just forget about Alaska, enjoy your own B2K obsession and ignore hers.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    fitta
    "Shygirl15" wrote:I really like this boy in my second period class but i dont know how to tell him because he knows that im transgender do whatever makes you feel comfortable or just wing it and tell him and if he tells you something because you're trans forget about him! He doesn't deserve you. But it's totally okay if you want to play it safe and not go up to him. You do you. :3 
    reply 19 minutes
    fitta
    "SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? i suggest you wait i mean you are going to be 16 that's way too young to be dating someone who is 4/5 years older than you,no? You can still talk to him when it comes to your anxiety attacks and all of that because I have those too every night so I know how it feels, but maybe you should wait. But at the end of the day it's your decision I'm just here to give advice 
    reply 22 minutes
    SatanslilDemon
    Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice???
    reply about 1 hour
    SmartSunnyShadow
    I feel like that too. My best friend will always hang out with her 'new friends' that I have a really bad opinion about. My friend will treat me rudely all the time and sometimes make fun of me with her friends. But, when I needed her the most in my life, she was there for me, and I told her how I felt. She says that she just wants to hang out with more people and apologized, people can be a little teasy at times.  Also, after seeing each other for a long time, people make new friends and start hanging out with them more, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like you.  This may be different for you, but just tell her about it, she will have to know you feelings at one point.  Hope I helped you. 
    reply about 7 hours
    country_girl19
    country_girl19 posted in Friends:
    Nothing happened between us. I just feel like I'm not important to her.
    reply about 7 hours