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Dear Dish-It, My Friend Is Being Abused

Dish-It gives advice on dealing with friends who may be suffering from abuse.
Advice on Friends and Family

Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I have a friend whose parents abuse her. I know this cuz she is my best friend and she tells me everything. I also know, for a fact, that she wouldn't lie about something this serious. I've already told her to talk to the school counsellor, but she won't. She made me promise not to tell anyone but I feel like it's my duty as a friend to make sure she's alright. She acts as if it's no big deal but I know she's hurtin' inside.
Confused


Dear Confused,

Well, first off let me tell ya what an incredible friend you are. I think your bud is very lucky to have someone like you on her side. Also, you've done the right thing so far. It's important you let her know you're there for her and you are kinda trying to push her into talking to someone. Now, there are lots of kinds of abuse and I am not sure if your friend is being abused sexually, physically, emotionally or another way. In the end, each kind of abuse is horrible and needs to be stopped as soon as possible.


Since she's not ready to chat face-to-face with a counsellor, you might want to recommend some of the more anonymous ways, like web sites and help lines. There is a good one called www.childhelpusa.org that has advice and toll-free digits she can call. There is also the National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453,) which your friend can call 24 hours a day for help and advice - and no one has to know who she is or where she's from or anything.


If she's into reading, there are lots of books on this subject as well. Two books recommended for teens coping with abuse are When Parents Have Problems: A Book for Teens and Older Children With an Abusive, Alcoholic, or Mentally Ill Parent by Susan B. Miller and Dealing With Difficult Parents: And With Parents in Difficult Situations by Todd Whitaker and Douglas J. Fiore. Both reads are available at www.amazon.com The most important thing for you to keep doing is encouraging her to get help and supporting her. If you feel that her life is in danger, it doesn't matter what you promised her, you need to tell your 'rents and get her away from her parents.


Dear Dish-It,

I hate my cousin so much!! I've talked to my parents about sending her far away to Alaska and they said no! Here's the problem... I'm a big B2K maniac and when they first came out, my sister was hatin' on them. She'd be talkin' bout how they're ugly, they can't dance or sing, blah, blah, blah! Then, when the video for Why I Love U came out, she's all over them like gravy on a biscuit! Now everytime there on TV, she puts a tape in the VCR and records it. She also bought a poster of J-Boog!!! But, when I ask her if she likes B2K, she's all like, no?! She acts like I'm the stupidest person in the world and I can't find out what she does! Man, I hate her so much! What should I do?
~*~Queen~*~


Dear ~*~Queen~*~,

Gee, are you a B2K fan? Now, your sis/cuz (not sure which she is because you start off saying cousin and then switch to sister,) started off dissin' your fave group, and now secretly has a thing for 'em. Right? Okay... so what? No offense, ~*~Queen~*~, but there are a million people who have a thing for J-Boog and B2K. She's probably just lying about liking 'em because she's embarassed. Maybe her friends don't like them or something. I love *NSYNC but no one I know does, so I was a lil' shy about tellin' my peeps at first. It could be like that for your sis/cuz. Or, she could just like how crazy it makes you when she denies it. Either way, you just need to chill and forget about whether she likes B2K or not. Just forget about Alaska, enjoy your own B2K obsession and ignore hers.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    Comments

    Missymix

    Missymix wrote:

    This is so sad my parents would Neva do that
    commented: Fri Jun 27, 2014

    lilzoe12

    lilzoe12 wrote:

    this kinda thing needs to like stop! it has happened to me and i suvived! and i don't w...
    commented: Fri Jun 27, 2014

    DanceStarTtee

    DanceStarTtee wrote:

    Omfg the abuse thing just freakin' CRAZY!!!!
    commented: Sun Jan 06, 2013

    there are 32 more comments

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    jordand08
    jordand08 posted in Friends:
    "-Karpov-" wrote:I think jealousy would be if she were angry at you for being considered better than her. It sounds more like she's just disappointed, but it's impossible for you to know if you don't ask.  I agree here.
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    -Karpov-
    -Karpov- posted in Friends:
    I think jealousy would be if she were angry at you for being considered better than her. It sounds more like she's just disappointed, but it's impossible for you to know if you don't ask. 
    reply about 7 hours
    B-who-u-r-and-SING
    My best friend and I were really close before and hung out all the time, we were both in musicals and both got smaller parts, and if one of us got a bigger part, it was her. Then she took voice lessons with an amazing voice teacher and got a little better, she took lessons for about two weeks and then I decided to take lessons too. After about three weeks people were saying that I was an amazing singer and all of the sudden my maybe-best-friend hardly talks to me. She always seems really sad. (Keep in mind that my friend can't sing well) I don't know if she is jealous or what, and please don't think that i'm conceited by thinking she might be jealous I am just wondering. Please help!
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    kaykay2002
    "CocoC01" wrote: Sometimes things are n`t fair in life. Maybe you can try to find your cousin`s weakness or try your best to get along with her. After all, your cousin is still young. Grandparents tend to show more love to the younger ones because they are young and innocent.You`re 11 now, your grandmother might think that you`re more mature than your cousin: able to do whatever you want, able to make the right decision. Try to impress your grandmother with something that you`re good at ( I mean in the positive way) like joining debate/dancing/singing competitions--> try your best to achieve something and make them proud of you.   thanks but even when I was 5 6 and 7 she played favorites. I almost always get along with my cousin but sometimes I burst. my grandma always somehow finds out what I want and gives it my cousin and if my parents are around she treats us equally and that is another thing that makes me mad is she acts like the best grandma in front of my parents but the second they are gone she is a different person
    reply about 9 hours
    CocoC01
    CocoC01 posted in Family Issues:
    Sometimes things are n`t fair in life. Maybe you can try to find your cousin`s weakness or try your best to get along with her. After all, your cousin is still young. Grandparents tend to show more love to the younger ones because they are young and innocent.You`re 11 now, your grandmother might think that you`re more mature than your cousin: able to do whatever you want, able to make the right decision. Try to impress your grandmother with something that you`re good at ( I mean in the positive way) like joining debate/dancing/singing competitions--> try your best to achieve something and make them proud of you.
    reply about 10 hours

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