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Dear Dish-It, My Friend Is Being Abused


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I have a friend whose parents abuse her. I know this cuz she is my best friend and she tells me everything. I also know, for a fact, that she wouldn't lie about something this serious. I've already told her to talk to the school counsellor, but she won't. She made me promise not to tell anyone but I feel like it's my duty as a friend to make sure she's alright. She acts as if it's no big deal but I know she's hurtin' inside.
Confused


Dear Confused,

Well, first off let me tell ya what an incredible friend you are. I think your bud is very lucky to have someone like you on her side. Also, you've done the right thing so far. It's important you let her know you're there for her and you are kinda trying to push her into talking to someone. Now, there are lots of kinds of abuse and I am not sure if your friend is being abused sexually, physically, emotionally or another way. In the end, each kind of abuse is horrible and needs to be stopped as soon as possible.


Since she's not ready to chat face-to-face with a counsellor, you might want to recommend some of the more anonymous ways, like web sites and help lines. There is a good one called www.childhelpusa.org that has advice and toll-free digits she can call. There is also the National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453,) which your friend can call 24 hours a day for help and advice - and no one has to know who she is or where she's from or anything.


If she's into reading, there are lots of books on this subject as well. Two books recommended for teens coping with abuse are When Parents Have Problems: A Book for Teens and Older Children With an Abusive, Alcoholic, or Mentally Ill Parent by Susan B. Miller and Dealing With Difficult Parents: And With Parents in Difficult Situations by Todd Whitaker and Douglas J. Fiore. Both reads are available at www.amazon.com The most important thing for you to keep doing is encouraging her to get help and supporting her. If you feel that her life is in danger, it doesn't matter what you promised her, you need to tell your 'rents and get her away from her parents.


Dear Dish-It,

I hate my cousin so much!! I've talked to my parents about sending her far away to Alaska and they said no! Here's the problem... I'm a big B2K maniac and when they first came out, my sister was hatin' on them. She'd be talkin' bout how they're ugly, they can't dance or sing, blah, blah, blah! Then, when the video for Why I Love U came out, she's all over them like gravy on a biscuit! Now everytime there on TV, she puts a tape in the VCR and records it. She also bought a poster of J-Boog!!! But, when I ask her if she likes B2K, she's all like, no?! She acts like I'm the stupidest person in the world and I can't find out what she does! Man, I hate her so much! What should I do?
~*~Queen~*~


Dear ~*~Queen~*~,

Gee, are you a B2K fan? Now, your sis/cuz (not sure which she is because you start off saying cousin and then switch to sister,) started off dissin' your fave group, and now secretly has a thing for 'em. Right? Okay... so what? No offense, ~*~Queen~*~, but there are a million people who have a thing for J-Boog and B2K. She's probably just lying about liking 'em because she's embarassed. Maybe her friends don't like them or something. I love *NSYNC but no one I know does, so I was a lil' shy about tellin' my peeps at first. It could be like that for your sis/cuz. Or, she could just like how crazy it makes you when she denies it. Either way, you just need to chill and forget about whether she likes B2K or not. Just forget about Alaska, enjoy your own B2K obsession and ignore hers.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    AimeeJury
    AimeeJury posted in Style:
    i'm ginger sadly i had brown hair when i was born though
    reply about 10 hours
    6thBeatle
    6thBeatle posted in Style:
    Black. I'm a Filipino.
    reply about 11 hours
    6thBeatle
    Don't worry too, you'll grow up too and live on your own, I noticed that my aunt is unfair to children (except to her child) and I can't wait to be an adult (she's afraid to adults). And when you grow up, don't make revenge to your parents, I know that you still love them. Trust me, things would get worse if you make revenge.
    reply about 11 hours
    6thBeatle
    I understand you, but those things are worse than my experience. I am a very lonely nerd and I don't have friends. When my mom goes to work she leaves me with my unfair aunt. My aunt is so unfair, she always blames me and ignores my explanations, she always defends my 5 year old cousin even though she's wrong. She's so unfair I wanted to drink bleach or hang myself but I realized that there are more people who love me. When I was months old or maybe 1 year old my dad broke up with my mom because our family doesn't like him because he hurts my mom physically, called my grandpa a liar even though my dad knows how honest he is, and he always blamed things on me when I was a baby. I met him a month ago (maybe), and we were supposed to talk about important thing like if why he left me and other stuff like that, but instead he boasted about being the best pilot in the airport, he did nothing but boast. I never want to meet him again. My problem with my mom is that she hurts me horribly like jumping on my back, and she says hurtful things like she wanted me to die and that she loves her boyfriend (who is a jerk) more than me. I have to admit, I'm the one who started the mess, but that's no way to discipline your child. I apologized to her, but she is still pulling my hair. After we relaxed for about 40 minutes, she apologized. That's it, but my mom is really hard working and is very patient to me (but when it's too much, she gets crazy). There's always a good side of someone. I hope that there are more of your relatives and friends who love you, my advice is to write a letter to your parents, and if it didn't work well, you could always talk to the guidance in your school or your teacher, that's the only one I could think of.
    reply about 11 hours
    QveenAvi
    QveenAvi posted in Family Issues:
    The way they are doing it is wrong,however it sounds like your parents really love you and really want the best for you. they have faith in you. when you get a 3 if they know that you can get a 4 so they address you want it. not that they don't love you.Your parents were the ones who raised you and introduced you to this life so you should always respect them and think them as your god.
    reply about 21 hours