Dear Dish-It, My Friend Is Being Abused

Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".

Dear Dish-It,

I have a friend whose parents abuse her. I know this cuz she is my best friend and she tells me everything. I also know, for a fact, that she wouldn't lie about something this serious. I've already told her to talk to the school counsellor, but she won't. She made me promise not to tell anyone but I feel like it's my duty as a friend to make sure she's alright. She acts as if it's no big deal but I know she's hurtin' inside.

Dear Confused,

Well, first off let me tell ya what an incredible friend you are. I think your bud is very lucky to have someone like you on her side. Also, you've done the right thing so far. It's important you let her know you're there for her and you are kinda trying to push her into talking to someone. Now, there are lots of kinds of abuse and I am not sure if your friend is being abused sexually, physically, emotionally or another way. In the end, each kind of abuse is horrible and needs to be stopped as soon as possible.

Since she's not ready to chat face-to-face with a counsellor, you might want to recommend some of the more anonymous ways, like web sites and help lines. There is a good one called that has advice and toll-free digits she can call. There is also the National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453,) which your friend can call 24 hours a day for help and advice - and no one has to know who she is or where she's from or anything.

If she's into reading, there are lots of books on this subject as well. Two books recommended for teens coping with abuse are When Parents Have Problems: A Book for Teens and Older Children With an Abusive, Alcoholic, or Mentally Ill Parent by Susan B. Miller and Dealing With Difficult Parents: And With Parents in Difficult Situations by Todd Whitaker and Douglas J. Fiore. Both reads are available at The most important thing for you to keep doing is encouraging her to get help and supporting her. If you feel that her life is in danger, it doesn't matter what you promised her, you need to tell your 'rents and get her away from her parents.

Dear Dish-It,

I hate my cousin so much!! I've talked to my parents about sending her far away to Alaska and they said no! Here's the problem... I'm a big B2K maniac and when they first came out, my sister was hatin' on them. She'd be talkin' bout how they're ugly, they can't dance or sing, blah, blah, blah! Then, when the video for Why I Love U came out, she's all over them like gravy on a biscuit! Now everytime there on TV, she puts a tape in the VCR and records it. She also bought a poster of J-Boog!!! But, when I ask her if she likes B2K, she's all like, no?! She acts like I'm the stupidest person in the world and I can't find out what she does! Man, I hate her so much! What should I do?

Dear ~*~Queen~*~,

Gee, are you a B2K fan? Now, your sis/cuz (not sure which she is because you start off saying cousin and then switch to sister,) started off dissin' your fave group, and now secretly has a thing for 'em. Right? Okay... so what? No offense, ~*~Queen~*~, but there are a million people who have a thing for J-Boog and B2K. She's probably just lying about liking 'em because she's embarassed. Maybe her friends don't like them or something. I love *NSYNC but no one I know does, so I was a lil' shy about tellin' my peeps at first. It could be like that for your sis/cuz. Or, she could just like how crazy it makes you when she denies it. Either way, you just need to chill and forget about whether she likes B2K or not. Just forget about Alaska, enjoy your own B2K obsession and ignore hers.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
    reply about 22 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
    reply about 22 hours
    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
    reply about 22 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
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    reply about 23 hours
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