Dear Dish-It: Making the First Move

Mar 17, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

How do I make the first move when it comes to chatting with my crush? I’m craving conversation with him, but I'm too shy!


Dear Cookie,

Like Nike says: Just Do It! Shyness doesn’t have to be your reality – especially when it comes to going out there and doing what you need to do to get what you want! Take a deep breath, believe in yourself and show your crush what a great girl you are! Here’s how …

The first thing you need to do is get your crush alone, either in person or be calling him on the phone. Just make sure no one else is around – you’ll likely feel more nervous and shy if there are tons of people watching your every move.

Once you have some privacy, start talking – about stuff! Anything, really. If you’re in the same class, talk about your homework. If you’re on the same team, talk about tomorrow’s game. If you have someone or something else in common – talk about it!

While he’s answering your question or talking, take a moment to calm yourself down. Maybe your palms are still sweating or you’re finding it hard to concentrate. Take a deep breath and try and relax.

Another great tip that can help you curb your shyness is to smile – even if you’re on the phone! Everyone loves to see (or hear!) a nice smile – it’s way better than a frown! And always remember that your crush should feel flattered to be talking to you! You’re amazing!

If the convo is going well and you feel like you want to go a step further (and you’ve cleared it with the parentals first), you could even try asking him to kick it with you sometime. It’s really not as scary as it sounds. Just a few simple words: “Wanna hang out?”

No matter his answer, you should feel proud that you went out on a limb and did something to overcome your fears. From now on, talking to a crush won’t seem half as bad; you already did it once, you can definitely do it again!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Cookie? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

EndlessDream posted in Friends:
Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
reply about 6 hours
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
reply about 6 hours
EndlessDream posted in Friends:
Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
reply about 6 hours
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
This is gonna be long:   I have this 'friend' Amelia. She and I bonded really fast last year and we've become inseparable.   But lately she's blowing me off and my other best friend Belen told me: Amelia is actually using you. She does this to new kids at school, especially from foreign countries. She thinks because you're Chinese and the Chinese teacher's daughter, you'll help her. She's also using you as a backup friend - a substitute. There's this new girl Daniela, who Amelia thinks is her new best friend. She thinks that when Daniela stop hanging out with her, she'll have you.   The thing is, Daniela is pretty nice and she probably doesn't know all the trouble she's causing. Belen's old 'best friend' Andrea is doing the same to her.   I also learned that Amelia is seemingly the 'most popular girl in school' because she's mean to everyone. She always passes by the little kids' classrooms and hugs them & stuff. They seem to love her, but now I know it's because they think if they're nice they won't get bullied.   Maybe she WAS using me but I dunno. Belen says that each kid in the entire school has a bad story about Amelia and something she did to them. I said, "Then how was she so nice to me last year?" Then Belen was all like, "She was using you."   I don't know if she's telling the truth. She and Amelia are deadly enemies and she might be making up the whole Amelia story just to get back at her. Although Amelia has been dropping a few signs that she IS using me as a substitute friend.   Sometimes when I walk in, she'll be like "OOOOHHH! CASSANDRA! HI! HOW ARE YOU! C'MON, LOOK AT THIS! WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOOOO MUCH FUN TOGETHER ..."   And other times I'm like, "Hey, Amelia!" and she says, "Oh. Huh? Yeah, hi ..."  Once during PE we had to sit down and on the way to the gym, she was chatting with me in a BBBBFFFF way. But then when we had to partner up she said with Andrea, Daniela and someone else who I forgot.   I don't know what to do. It's just so weird. Even though now I know she MIGHT be using me (I'm not sure if she really is) it just seems WEIRD. Even for a supposed ##### she was my possibly fake best friend for the whole of last year. It's WEIRD to suddenly switch.   I don't even know if this should be happening. We've only just started 5th grade. Doesn't this WEIRD #### start happening around middle school? Thank you, everyone who will help in advance. P.S. Please include flirting advice. - A Girl Who Might Just Lose Her Possibly Fake Best Friend
reply about 7 hours
Okay I have school today and my hair is not sitting how I want it to. But my mum says it is sitting fine WHEN ITS NOT! SHE IS NOT LISTENING what do i do?
reply about 8 hours

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