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Dear Dish-It: Making the First Move

Mar 17, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

How do I make the first move when it comes to chatting with my crush? I’m craving conversation with him, but I'm too shy!

Cookie

Dear Cookie,

Like Nike says: Just Do It! Shyness doesn’t have to be your reality – especially when it comes to going out there and doing what you need to do to get what you want! Take a deep breath, believe in yourself and show your crush what a great girl you are! Here’s how …

The first thing you need to do is get your crush alone, either in person or be calling him on the phone. Just make sure no one else is around – you’ll likely feel more nervous and shy if there are tons of people watching your every move.

Once you have some privacy, start talking – about stuff! Anything, really. If you’re in the same class, talk about your homework. If you’re on the same team, talk about tomorrow’s game. If you have someone or something else in common – talk about it!

While he’s answering your question or talking, take a moment to calm yourself down. Maybe your palms are still sweating or you’re finding it hard to concentrate. Take a deep breath and try and relax.

Another great tip that can help you curb your shyness is to smile – even if you’re on the phone! Everyone loves to see (or hear!) a nice smile – it’s way better than a frown! And always remember that your crush should feel flattered to be talking to you! You’re amazing!

If the convo is going well and you feel like you want to go a step further (and you’ve cleared it with the parentals first), you could even try asking him to kick it with you sometime. It’s really not as scary as it sounds. Just a few simple words: “Wanna hang out?”

No matter his answer, you should feel proud that you went out on a limb and did something to overcome your fears. From now on, talking to a crush won’t seem half as bad; you already did it once, you can definitely do it again!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Cookie? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

lelnah
lelnah posted in Friends:
"Tldc_Julisha" wrote:I'm in the popular group but im trying to figure out if maybe its time to stop being in the popular group or notI like being in the group but at the same time I don't because-The other girls in the popular group are kind mean to othersThey make fun of people who don't wear what we wearThey push/shove people into lockersIs it time to leave the popular group or should I stay there??? Of course not! What kinds of people just go through their everyday lives shoving good kids into hard metal lockers? It's not right. I would never associate myself with a group like that. What kind of popular is that, shoving kids into lockers?  
reply about 4 hours
Hannah728
Hannah728 posted in Friends:
Ok i have the same problem with every guy! I have a crush on the cutest guy and i think somebody else likes him! And i mean like for sure think that they like him!
reply about 7 hours
classicalmusicisepic
"shae508" wrote: "classicalmusicisepic" wrote: my friends offline are having some relationship problems atm and there are just some things i want to mention on here, because i think they're relevant; some warning signs, etc and how to approach them. these not only apply to romantic relationships, but also friendships etc. physical harm - this might be an obvious one. but i just want to share some ways to approach the situation. this includes unwanted touching, hitting, kicking, etc. if your partner is doing this to you, you must report it to a trusted adult, teacher, counselor, close friend, or family member. this is one of the most serious abusive relationships- there are many resources online such as childline, etc, and hotlines you can call if you need to speak to someone about it. they may be able to help you get out of the relationship, and give you a shoulder to cry on. pressure into unwanted intimacy - this is also one of the big ones- your partner should never make you feel uncomfortable or otherwise. if they wish to stay with you, they will wait until you're ready to move onto that stage; if you even ever will be. if you feel pressured, or pushed into doing something you feel you'll regret, sit down and talk about it with your partner. you have a say in your relationship, too. control over your friends - if you feel like your partner has control over your friends- something is wrong. if they want you to dedicate every second of your life to them, with no other people, it's not right. your relationship not only affects the two people in it, (or more if it's polyamourous), but everyone around is affected by your relationship, too. again- you have a say in how your relationship is going, too!   criticizing you and your choices - relationships are about liking each other- if your partner is putting you down or demeaning you, it's a warning sign to get out of it. are they mocking you? or putting down your appearance, clothes, etc? Definite red flag; talk about it with him/her/them.  other signs, include: -being doted and adored one day, and the next being pushed away and ignored, -you're afraid of your partner -they obsess over and call/text you constantly -you may find you've lost your confidence -many ups and downs in the relationship, constant roller coaster -you aren't yourself. you change and adapt for them, drop hobbies if they're not into them, etc. -something tells you you cant trust them again, there are many resources out there if you need to talk. never be afraid to speak about it to someone- a family member, a teacher, a close friend, the police, a guidance counselor, etc.  I bolded that one part. The whole thread is great. And that one is a sign. But remember people with mental illness may also show signs like this to. If they have a good they they may spoil you and love you, and then the next day they're having a bad one. So they might push you away. They also may suddenly dote on you one day also to make up for a bad day. I'm not making an excuse, it's still a ver bad thing to do. I'm just putting it out there. that's a good point. 
reply about 8 hours
shae508
shae508 posted in Friends:
"classicalmusicisepic" wrote:my friends offline are having some relationship problems atm and there are just some things i want to mention on here, because i think they're relevant; some warning signs, etc and how to approach them.these not only apply to romantic relationships, but also friendships etc.physical harm - this might be an obvious one. but i just want to share some ways to approach the situation. this includes unwanted touching, hitting, kicking, etc. if your partner is doing this to you, you must report it to a trusted adult, teacher, counselor, close friend, or family member. this is one of the most serious abusive relationships- there are many resources online such as childline, etc, and hotlines you can call if you need to speak to someone about it. they may be able to help you get out of the relationship, and give you a shoulder to cry on.pressure into unwanted intimacy - this is also one of the big ones- your partner should never make you feel uncomfortable or otherwise. if they wish to stay with you, they will wait until you're ready to move onto that stage; if you even ever will be. if you feel pressured, or pushed into doing something you feel you'll regret, sit down and talk about it with your partner. you have a say in your relationship, too.control over your friends - if you feel like your partner has control over your friends- something is wrong. if they want you to dedicate every second of your life to them, with no other people, it's not right. your relationship not only affects the two people in it, (or more if it's polyamourous), but everyone around is affected by your relationship, too. again- you have a say in how your relationship is going, too!  criticizing you and your choices - relationships are about liking each other- if your partner is putting you down or demeaning you, it's a warning sign to get out of it. are they mocking you? or putting down your appearance, clothes, etc? Definite red flag; talk about it with him/her/them. other signs, include:-being doted and adored one day, and the next being pushed away and ignored,-you're afraid of your partner-they obsess over and call/text you constantly-you may find you've lost your confidence-many ups and downs in the relationship, constant roller coaster-you aren't yourself. you change and adapt for them, drop hobbies if they're not into them, etc.-something tells you you cant trust themagain, there are many resources out there if you need to talk. never be afraid to speak about it to someone- a family member, a teacher, a close friend, the police, a guidance counselor, etc.  I bolded that one part. The whole thread is great. And that one is a sign. But remember people with mental illness may also show signs like this to. If they have a good they they may spoil you and love you, and then the next day they're having a bad one. So they might push you away. They also may suddenly dote on you one day also to make up for a bad day. I'm not making an excuse, it's still a ver bad thing to do. I'm just putting it out there.
reply about 10 hours
jordand08
jordand08 posted in Friends:
No problem!
reply about 10 hours

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