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Dear Dish-It: Making the First Move

Mar 17, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

How do I make the first move when it comes to chatting with my crush? I’m craving conversation with him, but I'm too shy!

Cookie

Dear Cookie,

Like Nike says: Just Do It! Shyness doesn’t have to be your reality – especially when it comes to going out there and doing what you need to do to get what you want! Take a deep breath, believe in yourself and show your crush what a great girl you are! Here’s how …

The first thing you need to do is get your crush alone, either in person or be calling him on the phone. Just make sure no one else is around – you’ll likely feel more nervous and shy if there are tons of people watching your every move.

Once you have some privacy, start talking – about stuff! Anything, really. If you’re in the same class, talk about your homework. If you’re on the same team, talk about tomorrow’s game. If you have someone or something else in common – talk about it!

While he’s answering your question or talking, take a moment to calm yourself down. Maybe your palms are still sweating or you’re finding it hard to concentrate. Take a deep breath and try and relax.

Another great tip that can help you curb your shyness is to smile – even if you’re on the phone! Everyone loves to see (or hear!) a nice smile – it’s way better than a frown! And always remember that your crush should feel flattered to be talking to you! You’re amazing!

If the convo is going well and you feel like you want to go a step further (and you’ve cleared it with the parentals first), you could even try asking him to kick it with you sometime. It’s really not as scary as it sounds. Just a few simple words: “Wanna hang out?”

No matter his answer, you should feel proud that you went out on a limb and did something to overcome your fears. From now on, talking to a crush won’t seem half as bad; you already did it once, you can definitely do it again!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Cookie? Leave your comment below!

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How Do You Know You're Crushing?

  • I daydream about the person 24/7.
  • I feel like I'm gonna puke.
  • I blush big-time!
  • All of the above - and so much more.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
drowning posted in Style:
  "imtcutiie" wrote: DONT DO IT JUST PLEASE #### #### #### ......... CHANGING EYE COLOR  JUST WRONG   Changing eye color isn't wrong. :^) But, you can't simply change it with "spells" or videos. To change your eye color, you will need to either wear contacts during the day to appear that you have different colored eyes than you truly have, or medically having a doctor perform surgical iris correction.
reply about 4 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I hope you texted back if you felt that it would be the right thing to do for yourself. I did not have a good childhood due to my birthmother and father. But, in recent time, I have come to enjoy talking to my birthfather and completely cannot stand my birthmother or her new husband anymore. I plan to actually meet him for the first time in 16 years if I can join my fiancé's family vacation.  Point of the matter, do what you feel is right. If you want to talk to him; talk to him. If you don't, don't reply if you don't feel comfortable too. It is purely your choice who you allow in your life, even when it comes down to blood and family.
reply about 4 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
It isn't pathetic in the slightest to seek help. I don't think it is right for your mother and siblings to completely disown you over your choice of living arrangements. If they have pushed you away, remember that it is not your fault and it is purely theirs. You made a choice that you felt would benefit you, and judging from their behavior, it was a good choice. As for your father, I don't fight with my own very much, but when I do it tends to be pretty bad. My mother on the other hand, I fight with constantly so I understand where you're coming from. You shouldn't have to do anything. From the sound of it, it seems more like a personal issue going on with himself, especially a sense of shame or regret with his previous exes so he uses you as an outlet because you're the closest thing he has.  I say find an outlet, a healthy one. Sometimes it is best to let them ramble on until they wear themselves out, but remember that self-defense and "talking back" is not always a bad thing just because they are your guardian. It is important to take a stand for yourself. Be respectful, don't sink to their level.
reply about 5 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I think it is very important to find a healthy outlet and someone to talk to whether it's a doctor, friend, family member, ect. You can even find a journal to write in, if it will help you. I promise you, it isn't worth it to let families opinions and views affect you. I let the same thing happen to me and I still struggle over things that I wish I didn't.
reply about 5 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
Personally, given your age, the idea of a crush is a bit cute, but you're a little young for anything serious. I would recommend waiting until you truly know what you're doing. (And, believe me, you may not see it now, but you will when you're older.) But, if you really do want to find out, you need to remember that boys and girls both feel things. Boys aren't aliens, they aren't emotionless, and they aren't always just  dumbieheads.  You'll find it funny later on in life from how nervous you had gotten over a crush So honestly, just be straight forward. If you need a topic starter to bring it up, joke about old rumors that used to spread about you both.
reply about 5 hours