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Dear Dish-It: Making the First Move

Mar 17, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

How do I make the first move when it comes to chatting with my crush? I’m craving conversation with him, but I'm too shy!

Cookie

Dear Cookie,

Like Nike says: Just Do It! Shyness doesn’t have to be your reality – especially when it comes to going out there and doing what you need to do to get what you want! Take a deep breath, believe in yourself and show your crush what a great girl you are! Here’s how …

The first thing you need to do is get your crush alone, either in person or be calling him on the phone. Just make sure no one else is around – you’ll likely feel more nervous and shy if there are tons of people watching your every move.

Once you have some privacy, start talking – about stuff! Anything, really. If you’re in the same class, talk about your homework. If you’re on the same team, talk about tomorrow’s game. If you have someone or something else in common – talk about it!

While he’s answering your question or talking, take a moment to calm yourself down. Maybe your palms are still sweating or you’re finding it hard to concentrate. Take a deep breath and try and relax.

Another great tip that can help you curb your shyness is to smile – even if you’re on the phone! Everyone loves to see (or hear!) a nice smile – it’s way better than a frown! And always remember that your crush should feel flattered to be talking to you! You’re amazing!

If the convo is going well and you feel like you want to go a step further (and you’ve cleared it with the parentals first), you could even try asking him to kick it with you sometime. It’s really not as scary as it sounds. Just a few simple words: “Wanna hang out?”

No matter his answer, you should feel proud that you went out on a limb and did something to overcome your fears. From now on, talking to a crush won’t seem half as bad; you already did it once, you can definitely do it again!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Cookie? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

moongemowl
moongemowl posted in Friends:
Okay, I've NEVER posted anything about my friends before, so bear with me. I've known that me and my BFF have the same crush since we met in 5th grade. But it always seems that my BFF is closer to him than I'll ever be. They went to 2 school dances together while I'm still in the friend zone with my crush. I pretend to not care but I really do care. I've never been in this situation before and don't know what to do about it. Should I tell my BFF how I feel or wait this whole thing out? Or even forget my crush being my crush and find a new crush? HELP!!!!!   :love :confused
reply 43 minutes
jordand08
Maybe that's the only line that needs to be said? You don't have to write down a whole paragraph explaining about how you feel. Sometimes, one word or one sentence can be enough. :p but I don't know. Maybe I have no clue what I'm talking about. :p
reply about 1 hour
jordand08
You'll have to remember, your parents love you, with that being said. If you feel like you can talk to them and they're reasonable, go ahead. But if you feel like waiting it's up to you. I think your family will support you, because they do love you. Maybe they'll be upset at first, but they'll come around, everyone does eventually. Is there anyone in your family that knows, like a cousin? Maybe you can ask for their opinion if you should tell your parents, and family. However, it's up to you. and remember, your parents care and love you.
reply about 1 hour
hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
You doesnt have to come out to your family until your ready and until they is ready too.  If you blurt it out it could be the shock.  You says that you think your Mums side of the family will be more supportive.  Has you got an Aunty or Uncle what you could discuss this with?  An adult member of your family what is most likely supportive  could probably give the best advises on how to tell your family and when and how and prepares you for how they will react. Good luck mate and takes your time :angel
reply about 7 hours
Mrawsomegamer
I think my mothers side of the family would be fine with it. It's my dad's side I'm most concerned about. My dad says some dreadfully terrible remarks about homosexual people. I think I'm not gunna tell him at all. Ever...  Either way. Thanks for the advice!
reply about 7 hours

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