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Dear Dish-It: Making the First Move

Mar 17, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

How do I make the first move when it comes to chatting with my crush? I’m craving conversation with him, but I'm too shy!

Cookie

Dear Cookie,

Like Nike says: Just Do It! Shyness doesn’t have to be your reality – especially when it comes to going out there and doing what you need to do to get what you want! Take a deep breath, believe in yourself and show your crush what a great girl you are! Here’s how …

The first thing you need to do is get your crush alone, either in person or be calling him on the phone. Just make sure no one else is around – you’ll likely feel more nervous and shy if there are tons of people watching your every move.

Once you have some privacy, start talking – about stuff! Anything, really. If you’re in the same class, talk about your homework. If you’re on the same team, talk about tomorrow’s game. If you have someone or something else in common – talk about it!

While he’s answering your question or talking, take a moment to calm yourself down. Maybe your palms are still sweating or you’re finding it hard to concentrate. Take a deep breath and try and relax.

Another great tip that can help you curb your shyness is to smile – even if you’re on the phone! Everyone loves to see (or hear!) a nice smile – it’s way better than a frown! And always remember that your crush should feel flattered to be talking to you! You’re amazing!

If the convo is going well and you feel like you want to go a step further (and you’ve cleared it with the parentals first), you could even try asking him to kick it with you sometime. It’s really not as scary as it sounds. Just a few simple words: “Wanna hang out?”

No matter his answer, you should feel proud that you went out on a limb and did something to overcome your fears. From now on, talking to a crush won’t seem half as bad; you already did it once, you can definitely do it again!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Cookie? Leave your comment below!

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How Do You Know You're Crushing?

  • I daydream about the person 24/7.
  • I feel like I'm gonna puke.
  • I blush big-time!
  • All of the above - and so much more.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

ThePaleWalker636
So, my brother is kind of a jerk. I won't go into details about him, but now my mom has officially given up on him. She no longer gives him rules or punishes him as long as he isn't interfering with anyone else in my family. Now, it's entirely on my dad's shoulders to make sure he even goes to bed at all. I don't know how I could help, but I'm worried about what will become of my brother when he gets older. He's mean to me, but I really care about him, and I don't want him on the streets. Is there even anything I could do?
reply about 2 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
"classicalmusicisepic" wrote: "SmartSunnyShadow" wrote: Hello everybody! Please help me! So I am in grade 6, and I have none of my best friends in my class. It sucks so bad, and when I first came I had no friends either.  Now, though I'm over that and I have made some new "friends." They are really nice and helpful to me, well at least I thought. I think they are just like that because I'm smart. So I made 4 friends.  I'll give their fake names; Camila, Socccer Gal,Bubbly Princess, Harry Potter Fan123, and Shy Flower. So, today I got an A+, and Harry Potter Fan123 got an A++ since she did extra bonuses that I had no idea about. Whatever, I'm over that.  HERE IS THE REAL PROBLEM! So I have a guy in my class that I hate like hell, and my friends Camila, Soccer Gal, and Bubbly Princess told him that I  like him, and I was like EWWWWWWWWWW!!! Well then I blew out and made a racist comment that I am so sad about and my friends were like crazy! I have no idea what to do. Then, my friends started bullying me, and I was like so shocked, I told them to shut up. WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!?!?!   what you're going through right now is actually a part of life, and I think a lot of people have been in similar situations, including myself. everyone is actually bound to come across fake friends in their life, and sometimes it gets quite difficult to manage. if you've said something particularly offensive, I would probably say sorry. I mean, at least you have your original best friends? If they're caring and supportive, they'll try and help you as much as they possibly can. But if you feel like you're not being cared about by these girls in your class, and if you feel inferior to them, I would try to drift away, they're nothing but bad energy for you. I hope I've helped in some way. Good luck! Yes, it's very lonely in my class without any close friends. I am going to say sorry, and thanks a lot! You've helped me a bunch! 
reply about 2 hours
classicalmusicisepic
"SmartSunnyShadow" wrote:Hello everybody! Please help me!So I am in grade 6, and I have none of my best friends in my class. It sucks so bad, and when I first came I had no friends either.  Now, though I'm over that and I have made some new "friends." They are really nice and helpful to me, well at least I thought. I think they are just like that because I'm smart. So I made 4 friends.  I'll give their fake names; Camila, Socccer Gal,Bubbly Princess, Harry Potter Fan123, and Shy Flower. So, today I got an A+, and Harry Potter Fan123 got an A++ since she did extra bonuses that I had no idea about. Whatever, I'm over that.  HERE IS THE REAL PROBLEM!So I have a guy in my class that I hate like hell, and my friends Camila, Soccer Gal, and Bubbly Princess told him that I  like him, and I was like EWWWWWWWWWW!!! Well then I blew out and made a racist comment that I am so sad about and my friends were like crazy! I have no idea what to do. Then, my friends started bullying me, and I was like so shocked, I told them to shut up. WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!?!?! what you're going through right now is actually a part of life, and I think a lot of people have been in similar situations, including myself. everyone is actually bound to come across fake friends in their life, and sometimes it gets quite difficult to manage. if you've said something particularly offensive, I would probably say sorry. I mean, at least you have your original best friends? If they're caring and supportive, they'll try and help you as much as they possibly can. But if you feel like you're not being cared about by these girls in your class, and if you feel inferior to them, I would try to drift away, they're nothing but bad energy for you. I hope I've helped in some way. Good luck!
reply about 2 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
"-Oracle-" wrote: "SmartSunnyShadow" wrote: Okay, thanks but will anyone else help me???  If they're as good friends as you're making them out to be then I'm sure they'll forgive and forget. Try not to over think the situation. Okay, thank you so much! 
reply about 2 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
"AnnaOfExquizurd" wrote:In the part where you said they started bullying you... what were some of the things they specifically said?If they were just calling you insensitive or racist, tell them it was an accident. You can apologize about the racist comment. If you show you really are sad about it, they'll know you mean it.I hope everything goes well and gets better ^-^ Thank you! They were bullying me about how I was so stupid and how no one liked me. I shall apologize, thank you again! 
reply about 2 hours