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Dear Dish-It: Making the First Move

Mar 17, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

How do I make the first move when it comes to chatting with my crush? I’m craving conversation with him, but I'm too shy!

Cookie

Dear Cookie,

Like Nike says: Just Do It! Shyness doesn’t have to be your reality – especially when it comes to going out there and doing what you need to do to get what you want! Take a deep breath, believe in yourself and show your crush what a great girl you are! Here’s how …

The first thing you need to do is get your crush alone, either in person or be calling him on the phone. Just make sure no one else is around – you’ll likely feel more nervous and shy if there are tons of people watching your every move.

Once you have some privacy, start talking – about stuff! Anything, really. If you’re in the same class, talk about your homework. If you’re on the same team, talk about tomorrow’s game. If you have someone or something else in common – talk about it!

While he’s answering your question or talking, take a moment to calm yourself down. Maybe your palms are still sweating or you’re finding it hard to concentrate. Take a deep breath and try and relax.

Another great tip that can help you curb your shyness is to smile – even if you’re on the phone! Everyone loves to see (or hear!) a nice smile – it’s way better than a frown! And always remember that your crush should feel flattered to be talking to you! You’re amazing!

If the convo is going well and you feel like you want to go a step further (and you’ve cleared it with the parentals first), you could even try asking him to kick it with you sometime. It’s really not as scary as it sounds. Just a few simple words: “Wanna hang out?”

No matter his answer, you should feel proud that you went out on a limb and did something to overcome your fears. From now on, talking to a crush won’t seem half as bad; you already did it once, you can definitely do it again!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Cookie? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
"sparkly_chick" wrote: I keep saying stupid things and messing up with my friends and now they hate me. /.\ Don't say "they don't deserve you" or something, because I don't deserve them. They're great friends and I'm just... stupid. I'm sorry dear but things do get better and its not your fault. Everyone messes up, its just a part a life. If you need to talk and explain to me with more info you can, I'm here. :)    ^^This. You're not stupid either. Everybody makes mistakes and messes things up.
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Kirsteeeeen
Don't make your mom get irritated or she might start abusing you too. Talk to a counselor at school or something and figure out a way, like living with a relative or something. A counsellor is a good idea but talking to your mom is more important. She's your guardian. Don't worry about irritating her, tell her how you feel. Communication is important and the fear of getting abused should never ever get in between your relationship unless it's a previous factor in that relationship (not one with someone else). You have a right to tell her how you feel and have a discussion with her about it. I'm sure you can come to some sort of understanding. And if not, then maybe talk to someone outside the family. But don't go behind her back and talk to someone else about it unless it's 100% necessary for your family. She needs to know how you feel.
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Kirsteeeeen
I know it must feel awful. But you have to remember that your parents still love you, they just don't have time to show it sometimes. Autism requires a lot of work, attention, and support. Unfortunately that's a sacrifice you make for family. Sometimes you have to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. They're doing this for the family.
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Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Just go to hottopic get too many band t-shirts and a homestuck t-shirt put on black pants and cardigan and anime character shoes and the end  My life.
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Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Why not both? :p
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