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Dear Dish-It: I'm Jealous of My Ex's New Girlfriend

Dear Dish-It,

I don’t like my ex-boyfriend anymore, but when he started dating another girl I felt jealous. Is this normal?

Jealous

Dear Jealous,

Moving on after a break up can be tough. It’s especially tough when you have to watch your ex move on before you. Even if you no longer want to be with your ex and you don’t have the same feelings you once had for him, it still takes time to forget the connection you shared.

Moving On

Seeing your ex with another girl is probably triggering feelings for jealousy because you’re eager to move on yourself. You have to keep in mind that dwelling on the past isn’t going to help you move forward. Your ex is his own person and wants to move on with his life just as much as you do. Consider if the roles were reversed and he were watching you date a new guy. He’d likely be feeling just as jealous.

The Adjustment Period

There’s an adjustment period after a break up that takes time and, sometimes, several waves of heartbreak. You both have to get used to being out of each other’s lives in order to make space for someone new. If you go to the same school or hang in the same social circles, this will definitely be more challenging. Even if your break up ended on good terms and you want your ex to be happy, seeing him with a new girl will instantly trigger a pang of jealousy. At least at first. But over time it will slowly go away as your memories become distant and your feelings fade out for good. It just takes time.

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Jealous? Leave your comment below!

 

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Are You A Jealous Person?

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

heyitsangel
heyitsangel posted in Style:
Both
reply about 1 hour
InternetOwl
What part of it are you scared of? Is it eating in public and around other people, or just eating in general?  What it might be, if it's eating in public you don't like, is social anxiety, or social phobia. You should ask your doctor to check, because if it is, they can offer you ways to help. For instance, they might recommend therapists or group sessions to help ease your fear.  Even if it's just a phobia or, in unlikelier circumstances, an eating disorder, you should still go to your doctor or a therapist so you can try to overcome it. Try doing things that calm you down before these situations as well, like exercise, reading or listening to music (I'm not sure what relaxes you but sometimes these help). Also, you should try to slowly get used to the situations. So don't force yourself to eat straight away when you're out, but slowly start doing so whenever your comfortable with doing so. Unlike your mum wants, you can't just "stop" being scared because that's not how it works.  But right now, please don't force yourself into any of these situations. It's not good for your mental health to be forced to face a phobia of yours often. 
reply about 2 hours
ElfyKathy
Dear Dish-It, Within the last few years I have felt a bit sick and shaky when we go out to eat. It's not so bad when it's a carvery lunch or something at a pub, but settling down for a chocolate brownie and a milkshake shakes me up. Don't get me wrong, I love going out with Mum, but it's just sitting down and taking a bite. I want to chuck it in the bin. I love eating brownies and stuff at home and I'm pretty healthy. But I refuse to go to the town before lunch in fear. Mum told me I got to stop this or I'm going to develop a terrible phobia.  Please help! ElfyKathy, worried
reply about 2 hours
NianiNaturallyNerdy3
She isn't jealous she is just dissappointed that you chose to get lessons when she did to get better . She had to get better to catch up to you so you can enjoyher as your best friend. Then you went ahead and got lessons as if you needed them. She is just upset that you showed off a talent that she didn't have. And she tried to get better to impress you but you got better as well. Which kept her at the stage she will always be at my best friend sings way betyer than me but I try. 
reply about 3 hours
NianiNaturallyNerdy3
It may be hard but break it down to them we aren't friends but we can be associates. It may leave them a bit dissappointed but tell them we aren't in the same category to be as close as friends. 
reply about 3 hours

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