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Dear Dish-it: I Want To Grow Up

Dec 27, 2012

Dear Dish-it,

I'm a young teen, just finishing pubertybut I really want to be an adult. No one will hire someone my age, so I can't get an after school job. My parents buy a lot of junk food; I want to be able to go to the store on my own and pick out a better diet, but I can't do that either. I also want to move out and get my own place. Is there something wrong with me?

13 Going On 30

Dear 13 Going On 30,

Let me start by saying that there’s nothing wrong with you. Lots of people your age feel the desire to grow up and be an adult before it’s time. It’s your desire for freedom that’s causing you to feel this way. It just shows that you’re maturing. But remember, being a kid and a teen can be the best part of your life. You have very few responsibilities and you get to have fun and hang out with your friends on a daily basis. Most adults don’t have that luxury.

With Adulthood Comes Responsibilies

What you’re desiring are the good things about being an adult: choosing what you eat, living on your own, making your own money. But you’re forgetting about all the responsibilities that come along with that. With a job, you’ll have to pay taxes and lose your free time to spend with friends. Buying your own food seems like a nice idea, but the costs can be astronomical. And of course, having your own place would cost you a fortune in time and money. You’d have to maintain a yard if you have one, clean your entire house, and cook your own meals. Plus you need to pay rent along with other expenses like your cable, internet and hydro.

Enjoy Life’s Journey

Don’t rush your life. I did the same thing when I was your age. But my mom always told me, “it’s the journey that defines you, not the destination.” This always seemed so preachy until I really thought about it. The journey is what defines us. It’s good to dream, but if we focus too hard on the things we want rather than the things we have, we won’t enjoy life’s ride. Not only that, but we also won’t appreciate the things we achieve if they come too quickly or easily. So please, enjoy being a teen. It’ll only last for a few years and once it’s over, you’ll be wishing you had that time back.

Make Money

If you're really interested in making your own money, there is a way. There's a company called Kidworth that's dedicated to helping teen entrepreneurs start their own businesses. Check out our Kidworth article and see if it's right for you!

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for 13 Going On 30? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

86 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Itz_Eyn
Itz_Eyn posted in Friends:
This is the problem... My friends that I hang out with in school keeps on calling me fat and stupid. They are my only friends so I will not betray them, but when they are in trouble, they makes me the scapegoat and blame me on everything. Everytime they drop something, they tell me to pick it up for them. Everytime when I cannot play with them due to health issues, they will tell me to trade for something, like I can't play on a day, they will ask me to help them buy drinks (with their money).
reply about 2 hours
Gingerkissx
Maybe you could try working your way up to the conversation. I started out talking about how I was feeling online because it was practically impossible to talk about in real life, then I started talking about depression (in general, not that I thought I had it) to my friends - who I was feeling very distant from at the time, before I started being able to admit that I probably had it myself. Reaching out is one of the hardest parts but trust me, you will get there eventually. I found it hard myself because people tell people to reach for help but they never really talk about how to do it. It's usually just building the courage to say "I've been feeling depressed" even though it's not a comfortable thing to say. The thing is, there are many people out there who will be willing to help you that you wont trust. I got help when I admitted to my maths teacher about what was going on, and I definitely did not trust my maths teacher. But anxiety and depression is quite common and out there are going to be people who will understand and have been through similar experiences. You just have to find an adult who can get you help. Whether this be your parents, family member, a school counselor, or a teacher.  I hope this was helpful, and good luck.
reply about 3 hours
Austin312
Austin312 posted in Friends:
So okay, there are two guys in my class and both of them have a crush on me. Both asked me out and i dont know what should i do. same thing as what happened to you shygirl03 
reply about 11 hours
toripizza
last friday, i was home alone, my dad went to am AA meting and chiz, so i was alone for a couple og hours, i mean yeah i'm depressed, i cut, i have suicidal thoughts daily.......it's hard hurting inside..and just to see everyone pass you by like you're nothing, people judging you without knowing you. i also have social anxiety, and it really bothers me at school, so i try to walk fast in the halls, and i'm tense a lot. people criticize me once in a while.... ive been through some stuff, i've seen my mom abused infront of me thousand of times..........it's just hard...life. i'm scared to deal with it. so i made a noose, tried to attempt. long story short, my friend called the police, i got sent to the ER......my dad doesn't trust me alone for a mere 3 seconds, cause he thinks as soon as he turns his back i'll cut myself, or hang myself
reply about 13 hours
hugebear
hugebear posted in Friends:
So there's this guy in my class and he sits next to me. Correction he HAS to sit next to me, So my classroom as a table with 2 desks connected to make a huge desk but separated holders things to put our stuff in. So this guy is really the class clown of the class and he can be a jerk when he wants to be but sometimes can be a really nice guy. He likes to talk to me and he "Occasionally" Touches my hand or arm in a friendly way.. I think :3 but anyways he teases me ... A LOT but he sometimes insults me but when he sees my face not cracking into a smile. he instantly says sorry or didnt mean it like that kind of way and i smile. So does he like me? Or he just being a regular guy?  Ello and I thinks he likes you and feels your the close enough friend what he can joke around with. He doesnt want to offend you or upset you and that shows he cares about your feelings. Me advises is take your time and see how your friendship develops.  If it feeels natural to ask him does he like you then ask him and theres no rush :) Good luck :love
reply about 16 hours

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