Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-it: Is My Boyfriend Too Controlling?

Jan 17, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My boyfriend won't let me walk to lunch with my friends or dance with other guys at school dances, and I'm not even a flirt. Is this normal? Or is he too controlling?

Controlled

Dear Controlled,

I don't know the whole story, of course, but it sounds to me like your boyfriend is being a bit too controlling. There's a give and take when it comes to relationships. If he's not comfortable with you dancing with other guys at school dances  you should ask him why. Maybe he's insecure and worried that you might fall for a different guy. If you two haven't been together very long, maybe you should show him how much you care about him by respecting his wishes and only dancing with him. Over time, you'll build more trust, and maybe then you can revisit the issue.

Don't Alienate You Friends

As for walking with your friends to lunch, that's a different story. It's unreasonable of him to deny you that. You need to be able to spend time with your friends too. You can't have a healthy relationship if you're together 24/7 and wind up alienating your friendsWhy not try alternating days: one day you can walk with him, and the next day you can walk with your friends? Compromise is part of a good relationship, and he needs to understand that.

Be Your Own Person

Please don't let your boyfriend treat you like a parent  You say that "he won't let you" do things. Well, you're your own person. He doesn't get to make those decisions for you. If he has a concern, he should talk to you about it like an equal instead of trying to control you. If he continues to do this, maybe he's not the right guy for you. Not only that, but maybe he needs to take some time and reassess what it really means to be in a relationship.

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Controlled? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

158 Comments

latest videos

Polls-boyfriendturnoffs

What would be your biggest turnoff in a boyfriend?

  • He does drugs.
  • He picks his nose.
  • He gets jealous when I talk to other guys.
  • He lies to me.

related stories

Micro_deardish-boyfriendreputation-micro
Hesitant asks: I recently started going out with a boy from another school. He’s really nice and ...
Micro_dating_micro
NSN678 asks: "I asked someone to go out with me and I don't know if we are cause he's giving all ...
Micro_kiss_micro
Confused asks: "My boyfriend asked me when we were going to kiss. We are only in the 5th grade. W...
I don't know what to do about my boyfriend. He acts like my father. He tells me what kind of musi...

Dear Dish-It in the forums

Jelly3
Jelly3 posted in Style:
Jeans and a top 
reply about 7 hours
koolcat02
koolcat02 posted in Style:
pajamas :)
reply about 8 hours
nj_guy84
nj_guy84 posted in Family Issues:
Spacekitty14: I understand your situation. I have family members who have varying degrees of autism. I understand that it seems unfair to you that more attention goes to your brothers, but you have to remember that they didn't ask for this. They probably don't want to deal with the problems that they are facing. As far as giving up certain types of food, those are just sacrifices that a lot of people have to make. Just try to learn more about their condition and see what you can do to help, then you won't have to feel "left out" or "ignored" by your parents. Just be patient and understand the situation. I hope that all goes well for you and your family
reply about 14 hours
SpaceKitty14
Both of my brothers have autism. I am 12 and a girl. I also have a 3 y/o sister. It always seems like my parents pay more attention to them then me. I don't want to tell them about it because they will think I'm being selfish. But i can't do ANYTHING fun. My little brother is allergic to half the ingredients in most candies, so I can never go trick-or-treating. And I have not had eggs since I was 3. I always have to do everything by myself. How do I deal with this?
reply about 15 hours
Clarity11
Clarity11 posted in Friends:
buterball14... i actually met her in reality and she got an acount on here and i know here a little to well :P
reply about 20 hours

play online games