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Dear Dish-it: Is My Boyfriend Too Controlling?

Jan 17, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My boyfriend won't let me walk to lunch with my friends or dance with other guys at school dances, and I'm not even a flirt. Is this normal? Or is he too controlling?

Controlled

Dear Controlled,

I don't know the whole story, of course, but it sounds to me like your boyfriend is being a bit too controlling. There's a give and take when it comes to relationships. If he's not comfortable with you dancing with other guys at school dances  you should ask him why. Maybe he's insecure and worried that you might fall for a different guy. If you two haven't been together very long, maybe you should show him how much you care about him by respecting his wishes and only dancing with him. Over time, you'll build more trust, and maybe then you can revisit the issue.

Don't Alienate You Friends

As for walking with your friends to lunch, that's a different story. It's unreasonable of him to deny you that. You need to be able to spend time with your friends too. You can't have a healthy relationship if you're together 24/7 and wind up alienating your friendsWhy not try alternating days: one day you can walk with him, and the next day you can walk with your friends? Compromise is part of a good relationship, and he needs to understand that.

Be Your Own Person

Please don't let your boyfriend treat you like a parent  You say that "he won't let you" do things. Well, you're your own person. He doesn't get to make those decisions for you. If he has a concern, he should talk to you about it like an equal instead of trying to control you. If he continues to do this, maybe he's not the right guy for you. Not only that, but maybe he needs to take some time and reassess what it really means to be in a relationship.

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Controlled? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

158 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

CloudNineGirl
CloudNineGirl posted in Friends:
Aw, so cute! :)
reply about 8 hours
usagimodoki
usagimodoki posted in Friends:
Forever alone ;_;*Sneef Sneef*
reply about 15 hours
Fox7Fabsome
Fox7Fabsome posted in Friends:
"Tldc_Julisha" wrote:I just don't think I should be alive anymore and people bully me and cyber bully me for so long that I think its time to give up is what my friend texted me No you have so much to live for. I never meet you but still
reply 1 day
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Go with whatever you feel most comfortable with, and is best suited for the event. 
reply 1 day
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
If you're having issues on KW then you can always report, ignore/delete, and block the person! Also let the moderators/admin know you're having issues! Same goes with most other places online.  It's also a good idea to tell an adult; you don't deserve to go through this! Whether it be a parent, a friends parent, teacher, principal, counsellor, family member, police officer, any trusted adult!  Unfortunately we here cannot stop what is going on for you, but we can remind you that you can get through this and things will get better. Keep your head up, and stand up for yourself. Take care. :)
reply 1 day

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