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Dear Dish-it: Is My Boyfriend Too Controlling?

Jan 17, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My boyfriend won't let me walk to lunch with my friends or dance with other guys at school dances, and I'm not even a flirt. Is this normal? Or is he too controlling?

Controlled

Dear Controlled,

I don't know the whole story, of course, but it sounds to me like your boyfriend is being a bit too controlling. There's a give and take when it comes to relationships. If he's not comfortable with you dancing with other guys at school dances  you should ask him why. Maybe he's insecure and worried that you might fall for a different guy. If you two haven't been together very long, maybe you should show him how much you care about him by respecting his wishes and only dancing with him. Over time, you'll build more trust, and maybe then you can revisit the issue.

Don't Alienate You Friends

As for walking with your friends to lunch, that's a different story. It's unreasonable of him to deny you that. You need to be able to spend time with your friends too. You can't have a healthy relationship if you're together 24/7 and wind up alienating your friendsWhy not try alternating days: one day you can walk with him, and the next day you can walk with your friends? Compromise is part of a good relationship, and he needs to understand that.

Be Your Own Person

Please don't let your boyfriend treat you like a parent  You say that "he won't let you" do things. Well, you're your own person. He doesn't get to make those decisions for you. If he has a concern, he should talk to you about it like an equal instead of trying to control you. If he continues to do this, maybe he's not the right guy for you. Not only that, but maybe he needs to take some time and reassess what it really means to be in a relationship.

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Controlled? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

MonasYou

MonasYou wrote:

Seriously ...
commented: Fri Jun 27, 2014

angelinaa

angelinaa wrote:

"Ight that right babe." He can't see that comment. Step off, know your place. & Don...
commented: Thu Jun 12, 2014

Loveyouforever000
Really
commented: Fri May 23, 2014

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

ice cream girl
ice cream girl posted in Friends:
I don't have one best friend, I have like 5 or 6.. But my best friends on here are orange45 and lovefroglol122
reply about 3 hours
DJwwjd
DJwwjd posted in Family Issues:
Well, try looking innocent! like this (the blanks are people u fill them in) ''___, I've always wondered, why do you curse?*he answers*Oh, well dont you think its a little too much for people to take in?" in other words be the therapist for the family like me! I'm the only smart one in my family!
reply about 4 hours
DJwwjd
DJwwjd posted in Friends:
Well, in my opinion (depending on your age) dating is pointless until it'll actually make a difference in your life! but your parents know best, just try to see the bright side in what they're saying.
reply about 5 hours
Nisya-
Nisya- posted in Friends:
Well, may I share my story? I had the same problem too, until the day when me and my crush were finally together. I dared myself to tell my parents and they said "It's alright, it's up to you." 0.0 (I didn't tell you to use my way to date him ._.)
reply about 9 hours
mystry27
mystry27 posted in Friends:
i have the same problem to :(
reply about 9 hours

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