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Dear Dish-it: How Do I Gain Self Confidence?

Jan 24, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been nice to people all my life and all they’ve done is take advantage of me and hurt me. Some have broken my heart. I’m tired of living with low self-esteem and playing the victim all my life. How can I gain self confidence?

Pushover

Dear Pushover,

Confidence is something you need to find within yourself. Being nice to people all your life was not a mistake. Truly confident people are kind hearted and generous. But there is such a thing as being too nice. You still need to stand up for your values and opinions and not let people walk all over you. You don’t have to be rude or mean in order to do this.

Physical Ways to Improve Your Confidence

There are ways you can improve your confidence by changing how others perceive you. Start by dressing well. I don’t mean go out and buy expensive designer brands. Just look polished, meaning no sweats, no clashing pieces and absolutely no overly revealing clothes. Clothes say a lot about you, and wearing outfits that are revealing suggests that you’re overcompensating for something else…such as your lack of confidence. Also, fix your posture. Standing taller will change how people look at you, but strangely enough, it will also help you feel better about yourself.

Mental Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Gratitude is probably the best way to improve your confidence. Stop worrying about superficial concerns, like how popular, stylish, and skinny you are and all the things you want want want, and start focusing on the things you have. What are you grateful for? Show or tell the quality people in your life how much they mean to you. And think about how you can give back, whether it’s through volunteer work or simply by offering someone a genuine compliment.

Verbal Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Speak up about things that matter to you. Don’t stay quiet or be a pushover just so people will like you. Doing that may make people like you, but they won’t respect you. Start by participating in class discussions, just to get used to the idea. Volunteer answers. It’s a great confidence booster when you get an answer right. And if you get it wrong, who cares? That will help you build a thick skin.

Love Yourself

Above all, just remember to love yourself. No matter what you look like or what extracurricular activities you participate in or what your passions are or who your friends are, know that you are every bit as wonderful and valuable as everyone else.  

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pushover? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

49 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Heyyyyy_
Heyyyyy_ posted in Friends:
i mean, theres no way reason for her to get upset bc u hav to think about school before anything social. so all u hav to do is tell her hey im sry but i rly hav to work on school right now and once i get tht situated then maybe i can come over to ur house and stay the night.
reply about 8 hours
BeautifulPixels
My best friend is always wanting me to spend the night at her house, but because she keeps irritating me about it, i can't get my school work done and now i'm falling behind. How do I tell her how I feel without hurting her feelings?
reply about 8 hours
Heyyyyy_
Heyyyyy_ posted in Friends:
well it most likely depends on y they get mad at u in the first place.
reply about 10 hours
nini8988
nini8988 posted in Friends:
Almost every time I'm in gym my friends end up getting mad at me and they don't talk to me and then they forgive me and something else happens to ruin it
reply about 11 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
"sparkly_chick" wrote: I keep saying stupid things and messing up with my friends and now they hate me. /.\ Don't say "they don't deserve you" or something, because I don't deserve them. They're great friends and I'm just... stupid. I'm sorry dear but things do get better and its not your fault. Everyone messes up, its just a part a life. If you need to talk and explain to me with more info you can, I'm here. :)    ^^This. You're not stupid either. Everybody makes mistakes and messes things up.
reply about 19 hours

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