-
x

Meet New Friends!

Recommended friends are based on your interests. Make sure they are up to date.

Friends ff8c072dd79a91c1300f032d674241a8d64367100ffb1f25fa3f9bec4a05319f
Kidzworld Logo

Dear Dish-it: How Do I Gain Self Confidence?

Jan 24, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been nice to people all my life and all they’ve done is take advantage of me and hurt me. Some have broken my heart. I’m tired of living with low self-esteem and playing the victim all my life. How can I gain self confidence?

Pushover

Dear Pushover,

Confidence is something you need to find within yourself. Being nice to people all your life was not a mistake. Truly confident people are kind hearted and generous. But there is such a thing as being too nice. You still need to stand up for your values and opinions and not let people walk all over you. You don’t have to be rude or mean in order to do this.

Physical Ways to Improve Your Confidence

There are ways you can improve your confidence by changing how others perceive you. Start by dressing well. I don’t mean go out and buy expensive designer brands. Just look polished, meaning no sweats, no clashing pieces and absolutely no overly revealing clothes. Clothes say a lot about you, and wearing outfits that are revealing suggests that you’re overcompensating for something else…such as your lack of confidence. Also, fix your posture. Standing taller will change how people look at you, but strangely enough, it will also help you feel better about yourself.

Mental Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Gratitude is probably the best way to improve your confidence. Stop worrying about superficial concerns, like how popular, stylish, and skinny you are and all the things you want want want, and start focusing on the things you have. What are you grateful for? Show or tell the quality people in your life how much they mean to you. And think about how you can give back, whether it’s through volunteer work or simply by offering someone a genuine compliment.

Verbal Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Speak up about things that matter to you. Don’t stay quiet or be a pushover just so people will like you. Doing that may make people like you, but they won’t respect you. Start by participating in class discussions, just to get used to the idea. Volunteer answers. It’s a great confidence booster when you get an answer right. And if you get it wrong, who cares? That will help you build a thick skin.

Love Yourself

Above all, just remember to love yourself. No matter what you look like or what extracurricular activities you participate in or what your passions are or who your friends are, know that you are every bit as wonderful and valuable as everyone else.  

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pushover? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

49 Comments

Related Stories

Micro confidence micro
Don't let the turkeys get you down... Here are 5 teen-tested, teen approved ways to boost your co...
Micro shy micro
shy-as-a-deer asks: "I am a really shy girl. Whenever I have to present a presentation to the cla...
I have a really huge crush on this boy in my class. But he is so much more popular than me. He ju...
I have low self-esteem and my classmates’ teasing doesn’t help. I know I'm not ugly, but no one e...
F1022091345875

How Self-Confident Are You?

  • I love myself, totally!
  • I am down with me, but there's always room for improvement.
  • So what if I don't fit in? Uniqueness is where it's at, baby!
  • I'd give anything to be someone else.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

LUCYQWERTY123
LUCYQWERTY123 posted in Friends:
hey there!! i may have not been in that situation but i can help u dont worry btw have u tried calling her??  :|
reply 1 day
Kawai_Potato
Kawai_Potato posted in Friends:
Me and my best friend met in this year but we are, or were, really close. I'm transferring to a different school this year. Me and my friend used to text every single day since summer vacation started. Now, we don't text at all! Whenever I text her I know she reads it because I use ######## but she never responds. It can't all be bad timing. I miss my best friend :(
reply 1 day
Clarkguild
Dear Dish-it, Sorry to be a burden, but I need some advice. About a year ago, I decided I didn't want to live with my mom and decided to move in with my dad. After my mom found out, she told me "You are no longer my child, go drop dead and rot in hell for all I care." My siblings, especially my twin, began to threaten me and my father's lives if we were to ever step foot near them again. A year later, my dad and I get in massive fights about everything I do wrong and he never seems to try and see my point of view. He often gets ##### and compares me to my mother and his previous exes. I feel lost on what to do. I feel so alone and so...hurt. Do you have any advice? I know it's pathetic of me to rant on here, but I'm clueless and on the verge of snapping.
reply 2 days
heckinmemes
have you tried punching her and your dad
reply 3 days
LUCYQWERTY123
hey there!! well i suggest u to answer back cause i think he missed u cause he hasnt see u for a year and i know he is estranged but if u answer back maybe he wont be strange so yeah :D :D :D
reply 8 days