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Dear Dish-it: How Do I Gain Self Confidence?

Jan 24, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been nice to people all my life and all they’ve done is take advantage of me and hurt me. Some have broken my heart. I’m tired of living with low self-esteem and playing the victim all my life. How can I gain self confidence?

Pushover

Dear Pushover,

Confidence is something you need to find within yourself. Being nice to people all your life was not a mistake. Truly confident people are kind hearted and generous. But there is such a thing as being too nice. You still need to stand up for your values and opinions and not let people walk all over you. You don’t have to be rude or mean in order to do this.

Physical Ways to Improve Your Confidence

There are ways you can improve your confidence by changing how others perceive you. Start by dressing well. I don’t mean go out and buy expensive designer brands. Just look polished, meaning no sweats, no clashing pieces and absolutely no overly revealing clothes. Clothes say a lot about you, and wearing outfits that are revealing suggests that you’re overcompensating for something else…such as your lack of confidence. Also, fix your posture. Standing taller will change how people look at you, but strangely enough, it will also help you feel better about yourself.

Mental Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Gratitude is probably the best way to improve your confidence. Stop worrying about superficial concerns, like how popular, stylish, and skinny you are and all the things you want want want, and start focusing on the things you have. What are you grateful for? Show or tell the quality people in your life how much they mean to you. And think about how you can give back, whether it’s through volunteer work or simply by offering someone a genuine compliment.

Verbal Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Speak up about things that matter to you. Don’t stay quiet or be a pushover just so people will like you. Doing that may make people like you, but they won’t respect you. Start by participating in class discussions, just to get used to the idea. Volunteer answers. It’s a great confidence booster when you get an answer right. And if you get it wrong, who cares? That will help you build a thick skin.

Love Yourself

Above all, just remember to love yourself. No matter what you look like or what extracurricular activities you participate in or what your passions are or who your friends are, know that you are every bit as wonderful and valuable as everyone else.  

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pushover? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

49 Comments

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How Self-Confident Are You?

  • I love myself, totally!
  • I am down with me, but there's always room for improvement.
  • So what if I don't fit in? Uniqueness is where it's at, baby!
  • I'd give anything to be someone else.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Pink_Cool_Girl
It's actually goin better than I thought!! And no, they are the nicest in the world. 
reply about 22 hours
JazzyRox
JazzyRox posted in Family Issues:
hi! this is "blonde"! i dont really care about this post and its not that offensive to me! i am trying to care about what others think and TBH i do....untill it comes to electronics...idk why but i dont really do well without electronics. i have good habits that include waiting untill 3:00 PM to get on screens and getting chores done before i get on screens, im much more...well....social than my sister (ill just call her "Red" xD) Red. plus im only 10. i probably will get better at habits when im older. P.S wow rainbowpoptart i dont think our pics are exactly the same xD
reply 2 days
blackveilbrides15
Always wears black so not much of a style 
reply 2 days
Kirsti
Kirsti posted in Style:
Your style is simply whatever you want to wear! Just wear whatever feels comfortable, or whatever you think looks good, and it is your style (: It doesn't matter if it's not entirely individual and unique, as long as it's what you feel happy wearing.
reply 2 days
Kirsti
Kirsti posted in Family Issues:
I love both my parents equally, but I prefer to spend time with my dad. My father works abroad so I see him a lot less than my mother, but it means that when I see him it feels more special :3 
reply 2 days