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Dear Dish-it: How Do I Gain Self Confidence?

Jan 24, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been nice to people all my life and all they’ve done is take advantage of me and hurt me. Some have broken my heart. I’m tired of living with low self-esteem and playing the victim all my life. How can I gain self confidence?

Pushover

Dear Pushover,

Confidence is something you need to find within yourself. Being nice to people all your life was not a mistake. Truly confident people are kind hearted and generous. But there is such a thing as being too nice. You still need to stand up for your values and opinions and not let people walk all over you. You don’t have to be rude or mean in order to do this.

Physical Ways to Improve Your Confidence

There are ways you can improve your confidence by changing how others perceive you. Start by dressing well. I don’t mean go out and buy expensive designer brands. Just look polished, meaning no sweats, no clashing pieces and absolutely no overly revealing clothes. Clothes say a lot about you, and wearing outfits that are revealing suggests that you’re overcompensating for something else…such as your lack of confidence. Also, fix your posture. Standing taller will change how people look at you, but strangely enough, it will also help you feel better about yourself.

Mental Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Gratitude is probably the best way to improve your confidence. Stop worrying about superficial concerns, like how popular, stylish, and skinny you are and all the things you want want want, and start focusing on the things you have. What are you grateful for? Show or tell the quality people in your life how much they mean to you. And think about how you can give back, whether it’s through volunteer work or simply by offering someone a genuine compliment.

Verbal Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Speak up about things that matter to you. Don’t stay quiet or be a pushover just so people will like you. Doing that may make people like you, but they won’t respect you. Start by participating in class discussions, just to get used to the idea. Volunteer answers. It’s a great confidence booster when you get an answer right. And if you get it wrong, who cares? That will help you build a thick skin.

Love Yourself

Above all, just remember to love yourself. No matter what you look like or what extracurricular activities you participate in or what your passions are or who your friends are, know that you are every bit as wonderful and valuable as everyone else.  

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pushover? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

JesseWesse

JesseWesse wrote:

Wish I had confidence in performing
commented: Sun Apr 13, 2014

masterblaster123
Yes that may be true but the fact of the matter is nobody is perfect. Everyone has flaw...
commented: Fri Nov 29, 2013

masterblaster123
you except the love and respect you think you deserve. Maybe the love and respect you t...
commented: Fri Nov 29, 2013

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

tanaj952
tanaj952 posted in Friends:
I think we all go through it,  I am right now. Keep your chin up, smile on, and remember that to be mean these girls have to sink pretty low, and if they are bullying you, YOU ARE ABOVE THEM!!!!! Keep your friends close, never forget to be who you are (as cheesy as it sounds, thats what I did and now I am really happy with loads of friends. I also told a teacher, she sorted it all out pretty quick to.) . Last thing-tell a teacher. I did, and she talked to the mean girl. Now everyone knows I'm not afraid to do it, either. Bad times will pass, and good ones will come. Look after yourself. Xx. *virtual hugs*
reply about 9 hours
rainbowloomer13
rainbowloomer13 posted in Style:
somewhere in between. because I like sports and going outside. but I do care about the way I look sometimes.  
reply about 12 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Sure, I wear them a lot.  As long as you're not wearing the really tight kind, which should go with a dress or skirt or something, it's totally cool.
reply about 15 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Robotics t-shirt and yellow floral shorts.
reply about 15 hours
OverTheMoon
OverTheMoon posted in Style:
leggings
reply about 16 hours

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