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Dear Dish-it: How Do I Gain Self Confidence?

Jan 24, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been nice to people all my life and all they’ve done is take advantage of me and hurt me. Some have broken my heart. I’m tired of living with low self-esteem and playing the victim all my life. How can I gain self confidence?

Pushover

Dear Pushover,

Confidence is something you need to find within yourself. Being nice to people all your life was not a mistake. Truly confident people are kind hearted and generous. But there is such a thing as being too nice. You still need to stand up for your values and opinions and not let people walk all over you. You don’t have to be rude or mean in order to do this.

Physical Ways to Improve Your Confidence

There are ways you can improve your confidence by changing how others perceive you. Start by dressing well. I don’t mean go out and buy expensive designer brands. Just look polished, meaning no sweats, no clashing pieces and absolutely no overly revealing clothes. Clothes say a lot about you, and wearing outfits that are revealing suggests that you’re overcompensating for something else…such as your lack of confidence. Also, fix your posture. Standing taller will change how people look at you, but strangely enough, it will also help you feel better about yourself.

Mental Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Gratitude is probably the best way to improve your confidence. Stop worrying about superficial concerns, like how popular, stylish, and skinny you are and all the things you want want want, and start focusing on the things you have. What are you grateful for? Show or tell the quality people in your life how much they mean to you. And think about how you can give back, whether it’s through volunteer work or simply by offering someone a genuine compliment.

Verbal Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Speak up about things that matter to you. Don’t stay quiet or be a pushover just so people will like you. Doing that may make people like you, but they won’t respect you. Start by participating in class discussions, just to get used to the idea. Volunteer answers. It’s a great confidence booster when you get an answer right. And if you get it wrong, who cares? That will help you build a thick skin.

Love Yourself

Above all, just remember to love yourself. No matter what you look like or what extracurricular activities you participate in or what your passions are or who your friends are, know that you are every bit as wonderful and valuable as everyone else.  

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pushover? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

49 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Boysrock50
Boysrock50 posted in Friends:
Violence is a last resort. You should try every other way possible to resolve things before turning to violence. Even then, violence should only be used in self-defence.
reply about 19 hours
-fiaaa
-fiaaa posted in Style:
nail polish 
reply about 21 hours
David_Teh_Derp
David_Teh_Derp posted in Friends:
Wait? Isn't everyone in the world gifted? Or at least is special at something. I'm gifted with being excellent at creative video games. I also have a unique way of life. I am extremely weird and creepy, and you could safely say that I must have broken out of the asylum, just that I never have been in a asylum. I am also extremely honest, not like other people. But you will not be unfriended if you say: "I have been getting good grades for some reason lately. Coincidence m8s?". Best way to brag to your friends that you are better than them at thinking.
reply about 24 hours
AlphaNino
AlphaNino posted in Friends:
Dear Dish-It Theres a girl in my class that always gives me hugs, When we play a game in class she always comes to sit next to me. Does She Like Me or is it just she's a really good friend? Please Help me .
reply 1 day
Valoniak34
this   ###.####################.###  has like sum good stories to,i read ur post here and im happy that ur not hushed about the subjet like sooo many 
reply 1 day

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