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Dear Dish-it: How Do I Gain Self Confidence?

Jan 24, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been nice to people all my life and all they’ve done is take advantage of me and hurt me. Some have broken my heart. I’m tired of living with low self-esteem and playing the victim all my life. How can I gain self confidence?

Pushover

Dear Pushover,

Confidence is something you need to find within yourself. Being nice to people all your life was not a mistake. Truly confident people are kind hearted and generous. But there is such a thing as being too nice. You still need to stand up for your values and opinions and not let people walk all over you. You don’t have to be rude or mean in order to do this.

Physical Ways to Improve Your Confidence

There are ways you can improve your confidence by changing how others perceive you. Start by dressing well. I don’t mean go out and buy expensive designer brands. Just look polished, meaning no sweats, no clashing pieces and absolutely no overly revealing clothes. Clothes say a lot about you, and wearing outfits that are revealing suggests that you’re overcompensating for something else…such as your lack of confidence. Also, fix your posture. Standing taller will change how people look at you, but strangely enough, it will also help you feel better about yourself.

Mental Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Gratitude is probably the best way to improve your confidence. Stop worrying about superficial concerns, like how popular, stylish, and skinny you are and all the things you want want want, and start focusing on the things you have. What are you grateful for? Show or tell the quality people in your life how much they mean to you. And think about how you can give back, whether it’s through volunteer work or simply by offering someone a genuine compliment.

Verbal Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Speak up about things that matter to you. Don’t stay quiet or be a pushover just so people will like you. Doing that may make people like you, but they won’t respect you. Start by participating in class discussions, just to get used to the idea. Volunteer answers. It’s a great confidence booster when you get an answer right. And if you get it wrong, who cares? That will help you build a thick skin.

Love Yourself

Above all, just remember to love yourself. No matter what you look like or what extracurricular activities you participate in or what your passions are or who your friends are, know that you are every bit as wonderful and valuable as everyone else.  

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pushover? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

49 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

rawr_ily890
rawr_ily890 posted in Style:
Maybe just a light layer or mascara and lip gloss is enough. Adding the eyeliner makes it look too much.  
reply about 5 hours
rawr_ily890
rawr_ily890 posted in Style:
Hollister, American Eagle, Aeropostale, PINK, Abercrombie & Fitch, etc.  [s:sm3/1jw1]
reply about 5 hours
rawr_ily890
rawr_ily890 posted in Style:
There are a lot of perfumes that I like but my top favorites are You & I by 1D, Heavenly by Victoria Secrets, and the PINK Perfume (Orginial one with the polka dots on glass bottle).  :)
reply about 5 hours
rawr_ily890
rawr_ily890 posted in Style:
Since it's 7th grade you don't need to get all fancy. For hair if you are willing to get up early then go ahead and straighten or curl your hair. Since I'm in HS I have to wake up really early and I don't want to wake up extremely early just to focus on hair & makeup. I would straighten my hair night before, and just touch up in the morning. As for the makeup...it's school and since you're not allowed eyeliners. I guess you can just use concealer to cover up anything you don't like and put on a light layer of powder on your face. Don't go for eyeshadows or anything heavy with color go for a natural look. If you don't want to do too much and want something quick what I do 90% of the time is to put hair up into a ponytail with a headband, and very light makeup which consist of concealer, poweder, and a light shade of blush to give your face some color.  :) 
reply about 5 hours
gymnasts123
gymnasts123 posted in Style:
Ok I am going into 7th grade, and I don't know what to do with my hair or makeup!!! I can curl and straight iron my hair btw. And I am NOT allowed to use eyeliner. 
reply about 17 hours

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