Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-it: How Do I Gain Self Confidence?

Jan 24, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been nice to people all my life and all they’ve done is take advantage of me and hurt me. Some have broken my heart. I’m tired of living with low self-esteem and playing the victim all my life. How can I gain self confidence?

Pushover

Dear Pushover,

Confidence is something you need to find within yourself. Being nice to people all your life was not a mistake. Truly confident people are kind hearted and generous. But there is such a thing as being too nice. You still need to stand up for your values and opinions and not let people walk all over you. You don’t have to be rude or mean in order to do this.

Physical Ways to Improve Your Confidence

There are ways you can improve your confidence by changing how others perceive you. Start by dressing well. I don’t mean go out and buy expensive designer brands. Just look polished, meaning no sweats, no clashing pieces and absolutely no overly revealing clothes. Clothes say a lot about you, and wearing outfits that are revealing suggests that you’re overcompensating for something else…such as your lack of confidence. Also, fix your posture. Standing taller will change how people look at you, but strangely enough, it will also help you feel better about yourself.

Mental Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Gratitude is probably the best way to improve your confidence. Stop worrying about superficial concerns, like how popular, stylish, and skinny you are and all the things you want want want, and start focusing on the things you have. What are you grateful for? Show or tell the quality people in your life how much they mean to you. And think about how you can give back, whether it’s through volunteer work or simply by offering someone a genuine compliment.

Verbal Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Speak up about things that matter to you. Don’t stay quiet or be a pushover just so people will like you. Doing that may make people like you, but they won’t respect you. Start by participating in class discussions, just to get used to the idea. Volunteer answers. It’s a great confidence booster when you get an answer right. And if you get it wrong, who cares? That will help you build a thick skin.

Love Yourself

Above all, just remember to love yourself. No matter what you look like or what extracurricular activities you participate in or what your passions are or who your friends are, know that you are every bit as wonderful and valuable as everyone else.  

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pushover? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

>
>

readers voted!

Comments

JesseWesse

JesseWesse wrote:

Wish I had confidence in performing
commented: Sun Apr 13, 2014

masterblaster123
Yes that may be true but the fact of the matter is nobody is perfect. Everyone has flaw...
commented: Fri Nov 29, 2013

masterblaster123
you except the love and respect you think you deserve. Maybe the love and respect you t...
commented: Fri Nov 29, 2013

there are 49 more comments

Please login or register to add comments


like this article?
Sign up now to get more just like it!

latest videos

F1022091345875

How Self-Confident Are You?

  • I love myself, totally!
  • I am down with me, but there's always room for improvement.
  • So what if I don't fit in? Uniqueness is where it's at, baby!
  • I'd give anything to be someone else.

related stories

Micro_confidence micro
Don't let the turkeys get you down... Here are 5 teen-tested, teen approved ways to boost your co...
Micro_shy_micro
shy-as-a-deer asks: "I am a really shy girl. Whenever I have to present a presentation to the cla...
I have a really huge crush on this boy in my class. But he is so much more popular than me. He ju...
I have low self-esteem and my classmates’ teasing doesn’t help. I know I'm not ugly, but no one e...

Dear Dish-It in the forums

Zachaddy
Zachaddy posted in Family Issues:
Erevy one goes through different things trust me I know what it is like and I am not happy about the change in my life but I talk to friends about it
reply about 14 hours
Zachaddy
Zachaddy posted in Family Issues:
I might Sean crazy but no there is a explanation for EVERYTHING
reply about 14 hours
Zachaddy
Zachaddy posted in Family Issues:
If u need to talk to me u can but u should not kill ur self I am really got at helping people and I love to so if you want to talk u can but please don't kill your self
reply about 17 hours
Zachaddy
Zachaddy posted in Style:
I wear makeup but not eye make up cause I get zits and I am 11
reply about 17 hours
Starlifeee123
Starlifeee123 posted in Style:
Black white and silver shirt Light denim skinny jeans with holes galaxy converses Red leather jacket
reply about 20 hours

play online games

Candy-100

A great online version of the famous Candy Crush. This is the best game launched...

Big_icon_(7)

Have you ever fancied being a ranger like those fantasy characters you love so m...

Big_icon_(4)

You run across the city in a car chase with the police officers.

Big_icon_(6)

The evil master kidnapped all of your friends!

Ow_fright_ad_100x100

Explore the world or hang out with friends in your own condo. Get a unique look,...