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Dear Dish-it: How Do I Gain Self Confidence?

Jan 24, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been nice to people all my life and all they’ve done is take advantage of me and hurt me. Some have broken my heart. I’m tired of living with low self-esteem and playing the victim all my life. How can I gain self confidence?

Pushover

Dear Pushover,

Confidence is something you need to find within yourself. Being nice to people all your life was not a mistake. Truly confident people are kind hearted and generous. But there is such a thing as being too nice. You still need to stand up for your values and opinions and not let people walk all over you. You don’t have to be rude or mean in order to do this.

Physical Ways to Improve Your Confidence

There are ways you can improve your confidence by changing how others perceive you. Start by dressing well. I don’t mean go out and buy expensive designer brands. Just look polished, meaning no sweats, no clashing pieces and absolutely no overly revealing clothes. Clothes say a lot about you, and wearing outfits that are revealing suggests that you’re overcompensating for something else…such as your lack of confidence. Also, fix your posture. Standing taller will change how people look at you, but strangely enough, it will also help you feel better about yourself.

Mental Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Gratitude is probably the best way to improve your confidence. Stop worrying about superficial concerns, like how popular, stylish, and skinny you are and all the things you want want want, and start focusing on the things you have. What are you grateful for? Show or tell the quality people in your life how much they mean to you. And think about how you can give back, whether it’s through volunteer work or simply by offering someone a genuine compliment.

Verbal Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Speak up about things that matter to you. Don’t stay quiet or be a pushover just so people will like you. Doing that may make people like you, but they won’t respect you. Start by participating in class discussions, just to get used to the idea. Volunteer answers. It’s a great confidence booster when you get an answer right. And if you get it wrong, who cares? That will help you build a thick skin.

Love Yourself

Above all, just remember to love yourself. No matter what you look like or what extracurricular activities you participate in or what your passions are or who your friends are, know that you are every bit as wonderful and valuable as everyone else.  

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pushover? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

JesseWesse

JesseWesse wrote:

Wish I had confidence in performing
commented: Sun Apr 13, 2014

masterblaster123
Yes that may be true but the fact of the matter is nobody is perfect. Everyone has flaw...
commented: Fri Nov 29, 2013

masterblaster123
you except the love and respect you think you deserve. Maybe the love and respect you t...
commented: Fri Nov 29, 2013

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Cutiebee12
Cutiebee12 posted in Friends:
this year.... Still have....
reply about 4 hours
arosha
arosha posted in Family Issues:
my parents never fight
reply about 5 hours
xXlove-bugXx
my parents are prolly like a 5 i mean i dont have chores or anything but i cant stay at my friends house unless theyve met the parents and have known them for a while. I also cant just leave the house and go for a walk or anything even if i have a phone.
reply about 8 hours
xXlove-bugXx
xXlove-bugXx posted in Style:
Ive noticed everyone is trying to be "country" or "redneck" all of sudden. I just dont get it i mean im dating a redneck but the difference is hes a real redneck, hes lived in the country and knows how to ride a horse and fish. But alot of people nowadays are trying to say their country or redneck because they listen to bands like "Florida Georgia line" and i just dont understand it, its not a fashion statement its a lifestyle. What are your opinions on it?
reply about 8 hours
Fluffydragonpuppy
My parents are about an 8. I put a lot of care and effort into my schoolwork, so they'd only take away my privileges (phone, internet, DS) if I wasn't trying. But, I give it my all, and behave in general, so they're pretty easy. However, I knew this girl in home and careers class last year who got her phone taken away because her grade point average was 3.4 instead of 3.66.
reply about 10 hours

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