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Dear Dish-it: How Do I Gain Self Confidence?

Jan 24, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been nice to people all my life and all they’ve done is take advantage of me and hurt me. Some have broken my heart. I’m tired of living with low self-esteem and playing the victim all my life. How can I gain self confidence?

Pushover

Dear Pushover,

Confidence is something you need to find within yourself. Being nice to people all your life was not a mistake. Truly confident people are kind hearted and generous. But there is such a thing as being too nice. You still need to stand up for your values and opinions and not let people walk all over you. You don’t have to be rude or mean in order to do this.

Physical Ways to Improve Your Confidence

There are ways you can improve your confidence by changing how others perceive you. Start by dressing well. I don’t mean go out and buy expensive designer brands. Just look polished, meaning no sweats, no clashing pieces and absolutely no overly revealing clothes. Clothes say a lot about you, and wearing outfits that are revealing suggests that you’re overcompensating for something else…such as your lack of confidence. Also, fix your posture. Standing taller will change how people look at you, but strangely enough, it will also help you feel better about yourself.

Mental Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Gratitude is probably the best way to improve your confidence. Stop worrying about superficial concerns, like how popular, stylish, and skinny you are and all the things you want want want, and start focusing on the things you have. What are you grateful for? Show or tell the quality people in your life how much they mean to you. And think about how you can give back, whether it’s through volunteer work or simply by offering someone a genuine compliment.

Verbal Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Speak up about things that matter to you. Don’t stay quiet or be a pushover just so people will like you. Doing that may make people like you, but they won’t respect you. Start by participating in class discussions, just to get used to the idea. Volunteer answers. It’s a great confidence booster when you get an answer right. And if you get it wrong, who cares? That will help you build a thick skin.

Love Yourself

Above all, just remember to love yourself. No matter what you look like or what extracurricular activities you participate in or what your passions are or who your friends are, know that you are every bit as wonderful and valuable as everyone else.  

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pushover? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

JesseWesse

JesseWesse wrote:

Wish I had confidence in performing
commented: Sun Apr 13, 2014

masterblaster123
Yes that may be true but the fact of the matter is nobody is perfect. Everyone has flaws and everyone has perfections. That's just life,
commented: Fri Nov 29, 2013

masterblaster123
you except the love and respect you think you deserve. Maybe the love and respect you think you deserve,is just a small portion of what you really deserve. Maybe you should find some people who will love and respect you the way you deserve. Trust me it helps. I've tried it.
commented: Fri Nov 29, 2013

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Unikitty13
Unikitty13 posted in Friends:
Dear Dish-It, Okay, so at my school, I have this enemy, she was so mean and sarcastic, what should I do to fought back?
reply about 6 hours
lawliet16
lawliet16 posted in Friends:
You need to clear things up with your best friend, and express to her what you feel because friendship requires open communication for it to last. Likewise, you should also take into consideration that not because she`s your best friend and she knows that you like this guy, she`s not allowed to be friends and eventually have a romantic relationship with this guy. Love does not follow a first come first serve basis, that`s reality.  Now, if you really love or like that person then you should be happy for him. True love means putting someone else`s happiness before your own EVEN IF you`re not part of that happiness. There`s a reason for everything, someday this will all make sense. :)
reply about 8 hours
noordinarygirl
noordinarygirl posted in Style:
"rebelfeminist" wrote:I would suggest just asking. The worst she can do is say no. Also, if your eyebrows are already fine as is and not bushy or all over the place, you may not even need to. Don't do something just because everyone else does.
reply about 15 hours
rebelfeminist
rebelfeminist posted in Style:
I would suggest just asking. The worst she can do is say no.
reply about 15 hours
Its_skylar1
Hey love , I do the exact same thing as you , you aren't alone... if you ever need anyone , I am here , okay? 
reply about 18 hours

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