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Dear Dish-it: How Do I Gain Self Confidence?

Jan 24, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been nice to people all my life and all they’ve done is take advantage of me and hurt me. Some have broken my heart. I’m tired of living with low self-esteem and playing the victim all my life. How can I gain self confidence?

Pushover

Dear Pushover,

Confidence is something you need to find within yourself. Being nice to people all your life was not a mistake. Truly confident people are kind hearted and generous. But there is such a thing as being too nice. You still need to stand up for your values and opinions and not let people walk all over you. You don’t have to be rude or mean in order to do this.

Physical Ways to Improve Your Confidence

There are ways you can improve your confidence by changing how others perceive you. Start by dressing well. I don’t mean go out and buy expensive designer brands. Just look polished, meaning no sweats, no clashing pieces and absolutely no overly revealing clothes. Clothes say a lot about you, and wearing outfits that are revealing suggests that you’re overcompensating for something else…such as your lack of confidence. Also, fix your posture. Standing taller will change how people look at you, but strangely enough, it will also help you feel better about yourself.

Mental Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Gratitude is probably the best way to improve your confidence. Stop worrying about superficial concerns, like how popular, stylish, and skinny you are and all the things you want want want, and start focusing on the things you have. What are you grateful for? Show or tell the quality people in your life how much they mean to you. And think about how you can give back, whether it’s through volunteer work or simply by offering someone a genuine compliment.

Verbal Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Speak up about things that matter to you. Don’t stay quiet or be a pushover just so people will like you. Doing that may make people like you, but they won’t respect you. Start by participating in class discussions, just to get used to the idea. Volunteer answers. It’s a great confidence booster when you get an answer right. And if you get it wrong, who cares? That will help you build a thick skin.

Love Yourself

Above all, just remember to love yourself. No matter what you look like or what extracurricular activities you participate in or what your passions are or who your friends are, know that you are every bit as wonderful and valuable as everyone else.  

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pushover? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

49 Comments

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How Self-Confident Are You?

  • I love myself, totally!
  • I am down with me, but there's always room for improvement.
  • So what if I don't fit in? Uniqueness is where it's at, baby!
  • I'd give anything to be someone else.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I'm an older sister to a 13 year old brother. Neither of us really agree on much, either. I prefer this, he prefers that. I prefer that, he prefers this. It's natural regarding age differences. Even just a years worth can hold plenty. It's best to meet in the middle with things. Like, my brother and I for instance don't really agree on anything. But, it's good to meet somewhere with things to do together whether its agreeing on a movie to watch or playing a video-game together. Even drawing or helping each other out with something. Just keep in mind, when it comes to this, you won't always want to do what they want.
reply about 18 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I understand this situation. Personally, you can tell your sister if you're completely sure on what happen. But, make sure she stays quiet about it until you both come to an agreement on when you should confront your parents about what you saw.
reply about 18 hours
Sophieex_
Posts: 21 3 minutes ago I think I'm bi, too. And thanks for the words of wisdom @rainbowpoptart 
reply about 22 hours
Sophieex_
Here's something to think about @IlikeGUYS20, I can say this about myself, and I'm sure, from this post, you'd agree. I'd love to have a girlfriend, and I'd also love to have a boyfriend. I'd be open to date any gender that my romantic partner would claim. We should just see what makes us happy before we label ourselves. Thanks! :)Have a wonderful day!:rainbow ❤
reply about 22 hours
rainbowpoptart
You should grow comfortable with yourself before you come out. If you're not certain if you are indeed bi, then you shouldn't slap that label on yourself yet. Take some time to really think about how you feel, but don't worry too much about it. Your sexuality isn't everything. You have plenty of time to discover yourself as person. Don't rush it.
reply 1 day