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Dear Dish-it: How Do I Gain Self Confidence?

Jan 24, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been nice to people all my life and all they’ve done is take advantage of me and hurt me. Some have broken my heart. I’m tired of living with low self-esteem and playing the victim all my life. How can I gain self confidence?

Pushover

Dear Pushover,

Confidence is something you need to find within yourself. Being nice to people all your life was not a mistake. Truly confident people are kind hearted and generous. But there is such a thing as being too nice. You still need to stand up for your values and opinions and not let people walk all over you. You don’t have to be rude or mean in order to do this.

Physical Ways to Improve Your Confidence

There are ways you can improve your confidence by changing how others perceive you. Start by dressing well. I don’t mean go out and buy expensive designer brands. Just look polished, meaning no sweats, no clashing pieces and absolutely no overly revealing clothes. Clothes say a lot about you, and wearing outfits that are revealing suggests that you’re overcompensating for something else…such as your lack of confidence. Also, fix your posture. Standing taller will change how people look at you, but strangely enough, it will also help you feel better about yourself.

Mental Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Gratitude is probably the best way to improve your confidence. Stop worrying about superficial concerns, like how popular, stylish, and skinny you are and all the things you want want want, and start focusing on the things you have. What are you grateful for? Show or tell the quality people in your life how much they mean to you. And think about how you can give back, whether it’s through volunteer work or simply by offering someone a genuine compliment.

Verbal Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Speak up about things that matter to you. Don’t stay quiet or be a pushover just so people will like you. Doing that may make people like you, but they won’t respect you. Start by participating in class discussions, just to get used to the idea. Volunteer answers. It’s a great confidence booster when you get an answer right. And if you get it wrong, who cares? That will help you build a thick skin.

Love Yourself

Above all, just remember to love yourself. No matter what you look like or what extracurricular activities you participate in or what your passions are or who your friends are, know that you are every bit as wonderful and valuable as everyone else.  

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pushover? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

49 Comments

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How Self-Confident Are You?

  • I love myself, totally!
  • I am down with me, but there's always room for improvement.
  • So what if I don't fit in? Uniqueness is where it's at, baby!
  • I'd give anything to be someone else.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

trinityac
trinityac posted in Friends:
Sadly she isn't your friend... you should make new ones because she is fake
reply about 6 hours
trinityac
trinityac posted in Friends:
I understand and agree as well. I was worried my friends would think of me differently when I first started out on this and I waited for almost a year before showing it to them. They surprisingly thought it was cool because it was like a "beginner" social media.  
reply about 6 hours
partydiva01
partydiva01 posted in Friends:
Dear dish it, my friend first met eachother on the first day of kindergarten we sat next to one another and we became close. we were BFF's throughout 1st to 2nd grades. then, the second grade teacher realized there were alot of kids in the class. and same w the 3rd grade teacher. so, we had to have a split class. my friend was in the split. I was not. It all seemed like the teachers were doing somthing... weired. all the girls (well, almost there were only 6 girls on one half) were in the split. and all the boys were in regular . AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WAS WEIRED! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( all the boy BFF's and the girl BFF's were SPLIT. me and my friend,kids named Nia & Georgia, Isaac& Ethan, and more. it was so sad for all of us.2 months later, I got homschooled. 2 years later im back in public with my 4th grade self. everything had changed. a bunch of people were obsessed w\ a girl my age named kassidy. im neighbors w\ kassidy and she is REALLY cool and nice. but the whole I  [s:sm3/1jw1] kassidy crew got mean. if I asked them to play they would say. "If Kassidy is playing I will" or I would want to be parteners with kassidy on something and they would freak out. anyway jasmine NEVER invited my to anything, and I am trying to be nice to her ( ice cream money, homework help, comfort when sad, ect.) And not to mention I invited her to 3 things!!! on the bright side she came to 2 :thumbsup :thumbsup she also embarassed me by saying that she was moving I freaked out  because I cared about her and I would cry all the time. I even held onto her and said sadly, "PLEASE DON'T GO!!  :sad :sad . later i found out that she was not moving, she was going to CA for a vacation. even the teacher was in on it!! :mad :mad anyways, my parents told me that i should just let go of her. But i am not ready. HELP??? :e :e :e :e :e
reply 5 days
PittsburghPenguinsFanatic
When I was a child I wanted glasses SOO bad, cuz I wanted to copy my mom and sister. And also, I thought they looked cool. I wear glasses now. I have had them for 2 years and honestly I don't mind them. Although, this year I am gonna pry get contacts for swimming better and stuff like that. But if you don't need glasses I wouldn't recommend wearing them. They're not bad, but trust me after a while you will pry not like them as much. But hey, that's my opinion. If you want to do it I'm not gonna stop you. Do what makes you happy in the long run. And tell your friends that they are non prescription if you don't need them, but still get some.
reply 5 days
Bratayley_Fan_7
She is not. I have faced this problem before so I know. You should make a new friend!
reply 5 days