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Dear Dish-it: How Do I Gain Self Confidence?

Jan 24, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been nice to people all my life and all they’ve done is take advantage of me and hurt me. Some have broken my heart. I’m tired of living with low self-esteem and playing the victim all my life. How can I gain self confidence?

Pushover

Dear Pushover,

Confidence is something you need to find within yourself. Being nice to people all your life was not a mistake. Truly confident people are kind hearted and generous. But there is such a thing as being too nice. You still need to stand up for your values and opinions and not let people walk all over you. You don’t have to be rude or mean in order to do this.

Physical Ways to Improve Your Confidence

There are ways you can improve your confidence by changing how others perceive you. Start by dressing well. I don’t mean go out and buy expensive designer brands. Just look polished, meaning no sweats, no clashing pieces and absolutely no overly revealing clothes. Clothes say a lot about you, and wearing outfits that are revealing suggests that you’re overcompensating for something else…such as your lack of confidence. Also, fix your posture. Standing taller will change how people look at you, but strangely enough, it will also help you feel better about yourself.

Mental Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Gratitude is probably the best way to improve your confidence. Stop worrying about superficial concerns, like how popular, stylish, and skinny you are and all the things you want want want, and start focusing on the things you have. What are you grateful for? Show or tell the quality people in your life how much they mean to you. And think about how you can give back, whether it’s through volunteer work or simply by offering someone a genuine compliment.

Verbal Ways to Improve Your Confidence

Speak up about things that matter to you. Don’t stay quiet or be a pushover just so people will like you. Doing that may make people like you, but they won’t respect you. Start by participating in class discussions, just to get used to the idea. Volunteer answers. It’s a great confidence booster when you get an answer right. And if you get it wrong, who cares? That will help you build a thick skin.

Love Yourself

Above all, just remember to love yourself. No matter what you look like or what extracurricular activities you participate in or what your passions are or who your friends are, know that you are every bit as wonderful and valuable as everyone else.  

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pushover? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

49 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

disney princess
"Delancey" wrote:I'm sorry to hear this , but I think you should talk with your teachers. It's really annoying, and I guess you shouldn't care for whatever they say. You're pretty, you're beautiful in your own way. Um, I guess you should talk with teachers/adults about it and I know it'll be tough for you, but ignore what they say and just be you!  
reply about 2 hours
Delancey
Delancey posted in Friends:
I'm sorry to hear this , but I think you should talk with your teachers. It's really annoying, and I guess you shouldn't care for whatever they say. You're pretty, you're beautiful in your own way. Um, I guess you should talk with teachers/adults about it and I know it'll be tough for you, but ignore what they say and just be you!
reply about 3 hours
Gamer_GTA
Gamer_GTA posted in Friends:
throughout school I have always been picked on weither it be because of my interests or just my personality. In middle school I was called ####### everyday by all the guys in my grade. One of my teachers even bullied me and my mom never believed me because my teacher was so nice to her... I ended up crying on the 3rd day of my freshman year because the kids in my class were so mean to me... I'm gonna be a sophomore in highschool this year and I really don't want to go back to school because I'm afraid that it will be a repeat of freshman year... I need advice on how to make the best of the rest of school if I have to deal with the people that bully me...
reply about 18 hours
PinkaLicous123
PinkaLicous123 posted in Friends:
Like my sisters says Give him a hard time and if he cant handle it then he's NOT worth it..... your welcome.
reply about 19 hours
hugebear
hugebear posted in Friends:
Shares their chips with you :)
reply about 22 hours

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