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Dear Dish-it: I Have A Crush On My Best Friend

Feb 07, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My best friend and I have been inseparable since we were little kids. But now that she has a boyfriend, I don't see her as much. Seeing her with another guy makes me jealous and I realize that I have a crush on her. Should I tell her?

Crushing

Dear Crushing,

It sounds to me like you didn't realize you had more than friendly feelings for your bff until she got a boyfriend. This jealousy that you're feeling may not stem from romantic feelings. It could be from the fact that you're growing up and apart, as though she's moving on without you. As you grow up, it's natural for best friends to lead separate lives, which means getting into relationships. That doesn't mean your friendship is over. It's just part of the maturing process. Maybe you'd feel better about your best friend having a boyfriend if you had a girlfriend of your own. 

Gauge Her Feelings

If you're certain that the feelings you have for her are romantic, that's okay. Whether or not you tell her will depend on your specific situation. But keep in mind that if she's happy in her relationship and you do decide to spill the beans, you may not get the response you want. In fact, it might make things awkward for you guys. Your best bet is to wait. If she and her boyfriend break up, be there for her. Allow her some time to heal. And try to gauge her interaction with you. Does she show signs that she likes you too, or are they all in your head? Sometimes, when we have a crush, we only see what we want to see. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by love. 

The Possible Outcomes

There are three ways this could go if you do reveal your feelings to her: first (and best case scenario) she might reciprocate those feelings and you'll both live happily ever after; second, she may tell you that she doesn't feel the same way and hope that you guys can still be best friends; and third (and worst case scenario) she might be freaked out by your confession and it could put a strain on your friendship. Think all of these possible outcomes through before making your decision. Is revealing your feelings worth potentially losing her as a friend? Or is keeping your feelings inside too painful?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Crushing? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

344 Comments

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Crush poll

Should You Make A Move On Your Crush?

  • YES: If you don't it may not ever happen!
  • No: If it's meant to be you won't have to do anything to make it happen
  • Maybe: It depends on how sure you are your crush likes you back
  • Dunno: I've never had a crush on anyone before

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

LUCYQWERTY123
"PuppyLover242" wrote:yup, my older sister never wants to take part, neither does one of my bros, and my mom recently broke her knee, so our time is messed up lately... even  before tho, never any time... Dont worry alot now ..keep hope i am sure there will be just one day u will get along :)
reply about 12 hours
PuppyLover242
yup, my older sister never wants to take part, neither does one of my bros, and my mom recently broke her knee, so our time is messed up lately... even  before tho, never any time...
reply about 12 hours
LUCYQWERTY123
"PuppyLover242" wrote:everyone is always doing something have u at least asked them if its ok only one night just sit together and watch a movie or put music and dance together??
reply about 12 hours
PuppyLover242
everyone is always doing something
reply about 12 hours
Ashleexo
Ashleexo posted in Family Issues:
"PuppyLover242" wrote:I try to! I try to get some old fashoned games together, family nights, but everyone is too busy on Xbox and my older sis ALWAYS (and i MEAN always) has headphones on! ...... :(....... We do family game nights sometimes.
reply about 13 hours