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Dear Dish-it: I Have A Crush On My Best Friend

Feb 07, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My best friend and I have been inseparable since we were little kids. But now that she has a boyfriend, I don't see her as much. Seeing her with another guy makes me jealous and I realize that I have a crush on her. Should I tell her?

Crushing

Dear Crushing,

It sounds to me like you didn't realize you had more than friendly feelings for your bff until she got a boyfriend. This jealousy that you're feeling may not stem from romantic feelings. It could be from the fact that you're growing up and apart, as though she's moving on without you. As you grow up, it's natural for best friends to lead separate lives, which means getting into relationships. That doesn't mean your friendship is over. It's just part of the maturing process. Maybe you'd feel better about your best friend having a boyfriend if you had a girlfriend of your own. 

Gauge Her Feelings

If you're certain that the feelings you have for her are romantic, that's okay. Whether or not you tell her will depend on your specific situation. But keep in mind that if she's happy in her relationship and you do decide to spill the beans, you may not get the response you want. In fact, it might make things awkward for you guys. Your best bet is to wait. If she and her boyfriend break up, be there for her. Allow her some time to heal. And try to gauge her interaction with you. Does she show signs that she likes you too, or are they all in your head? Sometimes, when we have a crush, we only see what we want to see. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by love. 

The Possible Outcomes

There are three ways this could go if you do reveal your feelings to her: first (and best case scenario) she might reciprocate those feelings and you'll both live happily ever after; second, she may tell you that she doesn't feel the same way and hope that you guys can still be best friends; and third (and worst case scenario) she might be freaked out by your confession and it could put a strain on your friendship. Think all of these possible outcomes through before making your decision. Is revealing your feelings worth potentially losing her as a friend? Or is keeping your feelings inside too painful?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Crushing? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

:D
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

That's wrong now just ask her out
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

SamRedLover

SamRedLover wrote:

I have a crush on my best frnd :/
commented: Fri Mar 21, 2014

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Crush_poll

Should You Make A Move On Your Crush?

  • YES: If you don't it may not ever happen!
  • No: If it's meant to be you won't have to do anything to make it happen
  • Maybe: It depends on how sure you are your crush likes you back
  • Dunno: I've never had a crush on anyone before

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

OptimisticJollygirl
You are perfect the way you are.
reply 25 minutes
InternetOwl
InternetOwl posted in Friends:
I'm not sure whether you have actual depression or not (Ask your doctor if you feel you do, they'll be able to help. ^^), but I'm really sorry you feel depressed. I've been there too, and it really does feel like no one cares.   I know you said it's awkward, but try talking to your dad about it. You said he's the only one who seems to listen, so I'm sure he will listen and try to understand. If you start feeling really depressed every day, try doing things to make you feel happier. I don't know what you like to do, but you should do things like relaxing, reading, talking to people and spending more time outside. Smiling more often can help relieve stress and make you happier as well. c: Try meeting new people too. It seems as though your current friends are bringing you down, so you can try to talk to them if you like or find more friends who'll listen and care about you (however, try to keep your old friends as well. They are your friends after all, and it's hard being lonely). You've got friends on here too. But please don't think about doing anything harmful to yourself. You might not be thinking like that now, but being depressed can lead people to this and it's really not the answer.  Good luck! ^u^  
reply about 4 hours
FloraTheWolf
FloraTheWolf posted in Friends:
And you can add me as a friend if you want :D
reply about 5 hours
FloraTheWolf
FloraTheWolf posted in Friends:
I know what its like to feel depressed. And its hard to get out of it. Try thinking of good things, and if you are feeling lonely and have no friends around then you can talk to me if you want :3 When you start feeling depressed, try doing things you like, going out to a park or somewhere to be alone and just relax. Maybe go on walks once in a while. And even if people don't seem to care about you, I do :) So if you start feeling worse you can chat with me. Try not to think of dangerous things like suicide or cutting yourself or even running away though because it may sometimes seem like it could be the answer but it really isn't it'll make your life worse and more messed up. I hope you feel better soon! :D
reply about 5 hours
twyla215
twyla215 posted in Family Issues:
"just for fun" wrote:Dear Dash-It and Friends,(this is my sissys account..we both use it)I'm a girl of course.. And I've got 13 this july 03.. and the thhing is I don't feel like my growth is perfect for my age! I'm really skinny.. I like being skinny! 'Cause my body looks great! And any boys could be impressed by my body! ;)My hight is only 4'8!! A 13 years old girl is only 4'8!! yeah I feel really sad! As for my cousin she's 5'3 and she's skinny too but she's tall!! I feel bad when she bullies me..So Is there a quick way for me to get tall in 1 month?yes the white stuff is normal its dischargeAlso I haven't started my period. I get white gloomy stuffs that smells funny. And I haven't talked to my mom or anyone about it yet. I'm really ashamed..but is this normal?And I think my ###### are not normal for my "puny" I mean small height or body! Their growing and growing! Their size is 29!! I'm feeling guilty! Is there any exercises to make them smaller?Thats that help me....
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