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Dear Dish-it: I Have A Crush On My Best Friend

Feb 07, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My best friend and I have been inseparable since we were little kids. But now that she has a boyfriend, I don't see her as much. Seeing her with another guy makes me jealous and I realize that I have a crush on her. Should I tell her?

Crushing

Dear Crushing,

It sounds to me like you didn't realize you had more than friendly feelings for your bff until she got a boyfriend. This jealousy that you're feeling may not stem from romantic feelings. It could be from the fact that you're growing up and apart, as though she's moving on without you. As you grow up, it's natural for best friends to lead separate lives, which means getting into relationships. That doesn't mean your friendship is over. It's just part of the maturing process. Maybe you'd feel better about your best friend having a boyfriend if you had a girlfriend of your own. 

Gauge Her Feelings

If you're certain that the feelings you have for her are romantic, that's okay. Whether or not you tell her will depend on your specific situation. But keep in mind that if she's happy in her relationship and you do decide to spill the beans, you may not get the response you want. In fact, it might make things awkward for you guys. Your best bet is to wait. If she and her boyfriend break up, be there for her. Allow her some time to heal. And try to gauge her interaction with you. Does she show signs that she likes you too, or are they all in your head? Sometimes, when we have a crush, we only see what we want to see. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by love. 

The Possible Outcomes

There are three ways this could go if you do reveal your feelings to her: first (and best case scenario) she might reciprocate those feelings and you'll both live happily ever after; second, she may tell you that she doesn't feel the same way and hope that you guys can still be best friends; and third (and worst case scenario) she might be freaked out by your confession and it could put a strain on your friendship. Think all of these possible outcomes through before making your decision. Is revealing your feelings worth potentially losing her as a friend? Or is keeping your feelings inside too painful?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Crushing? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

:D
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

That's wrong now just ask her out
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

SamRedLover

SamRedLover wrote:

I have a crush on my best frnd :/
commented: Fri Mar 21, 2014

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  • Dunno: I've never had a crush on anyone before

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Charulata
Charulata posted in Friends:
Ask google.. :D
reply about 1 hour
Its_skylar1
Its_skylar1 posted in Friends:
Why would u wanna talk to a guy? Most of them are inmature and gross / im not though
reply about 4 hours
OnceUponAtime143
My "best friend" for two years told me she wasn't coming to my birthday party because she had plans. I told her when the party was 2 months ago and she OK. Now its 4 days away and she says she isn't going because she has plans with her boyfriend. She is my best friend! Shes like my sister! and to know that she picked her boyfriend over me hurts. She is the worst friend ever! What do I do?
reply about 5 hours
american_brit
american_brit posted in Friends:
"animefreakXD" wrote: "american_brit" wrote: "animefreakXD" wrote: guys are the bomb! They're my best friends! I can talk to them like a normal person, but more because you don't have to worry about them gossiping! :D Haha XD You haven't seen some of the guys at my school...  Really, you should just be yourself. Don't try too hard thinking about the right things to say and the right way to act.  That's when you fumble and mess up. Be natural! Be yourself! And relax! You might blush a bit or feel embarrassed, but that is OKAY. I promise you'll survive.  Yeah, guys can be confusing, but they're human too! :) Wow. Shocker, right? :P Talk to them as you would anybody else ^-^
reply about 7 hours
american_brit
american_brit posted in Friends:
"amethystdances" wrote: I know, but its embarrassing. -sigh- That it is, but you'll be okay. If you don't know what to say, sometimes it's best to not say anything at all, you know? We don't all have the same personalities. We're not all amazing conversationalists (I'm talking about you Lex! Thanks by the way. We can always find something to talk about ^-^)  -and no one can expect from us. I'll say it again, be yourself. That's all anyone can ask of you -and if they don't like that... too bad! You deserve nothing more than friends (and possibly a friend? * wink wink * Sorry!!! ) who accept you just the way you are -and love for it.
reply about 7 hours

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