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Dear Dish-it: I Have A Crush On My Best Friend

Feb 07, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My best friend and I have been inseparable since we were little kids. But now that she has a boyfriend, I don't see her as much. Seeing her with another guy makes me jealous and I realize that I have a crush on her. Should I tell her?

Crushing

Dear Crushing,

It sounds to me like you didn't realize you had more than friendly feelings for your bff until she got a boyfriend. This jealousy that you're feeling may not stem from romantic feelings. It could be from the fact that you're growing up and apart, as though she's moving on without you. As you grow up, it's natural for best friends to lead separate lives, which means getting into relationships. That doesn't mean your friendship is over. It's just part of the maturing process. Maybe you'd feel better about your best friend having a boyfriend if you had a girlfriend of your own. 

Gauge Her Feelings

If you're certain that the feelings you have for her are romantic, that's okay. Whether or not you tell her will depend on your specific situation. But keep in mind that if she's happy in her relationship and you do decide to spill the beans, you may not get the response you want. In fact, it might make things awkward for you guys. Your best bet is to wait. If she and her boyfriend break up, be there for her. Allow her some time to heal. And try to gauge her interaction with you. Does she show signs that she likes you too, or are they all in your head? Sometimes, when we have a crush, we only see what we want to see. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by love. 

The Possible Outcomes

There are three ways this could go if you do reveal your feelings to her: first (and best case scenario) she might reciprocate those feelings and you'll both live happily ever after; second, she may tell you that she doesn't feel the same way and hope that you guys can still be best friends; and third (and worst case scenario) she might be freaked out by your confession and it could put a strain on your friendship. Think all of these possible outcomes through before making your decision. Is revealing your feelings worth potentially losing her as a friend? Or is keeping your feelings inside too painful?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Crushing? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

:D
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

That's wrong now just ask her out
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

SamRedLover

SamRedLover wrote:

I have a crush on my best frnd :/
commented: Fri Mar 21, 2014

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Should You Make A Move On Your Crush?

  • YES: If you don't it may not ever happen!
  • No: If it's meant to be you won't have to do anything to make it happen
  • Maybe: It depends on how sure you are your crush likes you back
  • Dunno: I've never had a crush on anyone before

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

sparkly_chick
Sometimes we get along all happily. Other times, conversations end with door slamming and yelling. Whenever I try to tell her that we need to work on this, she just says I'm being dramatic. It seems like one second we're laughing, then next we're fighting. She's 20, so the age difference is one of the problems. I really want to reconnect with my sister, but I don't know how. Help!
reply about 9 hours
sparkly_chick
sparkly_chick posted in Style:
Ugh. Usually on Wednesdays, I have a cherry coke t-shirt with some Jean shorts. That t-shirt got RIPPED. D: Anyways I can barely make it through the week. I have a closet full of clothes, but there's only about 8 t-shirts that are nice looking. Hopefully soon there'll be a new clothes store, and soon I'll start wearing my winter clothes, but I need help for the PRESENT. Any ideas?
reply about 9 hours
ChickenGoPowPow
I would say just talk to the guy an ask him, but I know you would be scared. But anyway, just take it slow. Talk to the guy, an try to be friends with him. If he shows any signs of him liking you.. For example: He likes looking at you, tries to make you laugh, or likes being around you.. then that's mostly a sign.
reply about 17 hours
Charulata
Charulata posted in Style:
A small earring :) Nothing else in my body :p :D♥
reply 1 day
bernese7
bernese7 posted in Style:
how can i lighten my hair color without dying it?????????
reply 2 days

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