Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-it: I Have A Crush On My Best Friend

Feb 07, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My best friend and I have been inseparable since we were little kids. But now that she has a boyfriend, I don't see her as much. Seeing her with another guy makes me jealous and I realize that I have a crush on her. Should I tell her?

Crushing

Dear Crushing,

It sounds to me like you didn't realize you had more than friendly feelings for your bff until she got a boyfriend. This jealousy that you're feeling may not stem from romantic feelings. It could be from the fact that you're growing up and apart, as though she's moving on without you. As you grow up, it's natural for best friends to lead separate lives, which means getting into relationships. That doesn't mean your friendship is over. It's just part of the maturing process. Maybe you'd feel better about your best friend having a boyfriend if you had a girlfriend of your own. 

Gauge Her Feelings

If you're certain that the feelings you have for her are romantic, that's okay. Whether or not you tell her will depend on your specific situation. But keep in mind that if she's happy in her relationship and you do decide to spill the beans, you may not get the response you want. In fact, it might make things awkward for you guys. Your best bet is to wait. If she and her boyfriend break up, be there for her. Allow her some time to heal. And try to gauge her interaction with you. Does she show signs that she likes you too, or are they all in your head? Sometimes, when we have a crush, we only see what we want to see. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by love. 

The Possible Outcomes

There are three ways this could go if you do reveal your feelings to her: first (and best case scenario) she might reciprocate those feelings and you'll both live happily ever after; second, she may tell you that she doesn't feel the same way and hope that you guys can still be best friends; and third (and worst case scenario) she might be freaked out by your confession and it could put a strain on your friendship. Think all of these possible outcomes through before making your decision. Is revealing your feelings worth potentially losing her as a friend? Or is keeping your feelings inside too painful?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Crushing? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

343 Comments

latest videos

Crush_poll

Should You Make A Move On Your Crush?

  • YES: If you don't it may not ever happen!
  • No: If it's meant to be you won't have to do anything to make it happen
  • Maybe: It depends on how sure you are your crush likes you back
  • Dunno: I've never had a crush on anyone before

related stories

Micro_deardish-crush-micro
Dear Dish-It: I’ve had a crush on this guy for over two years now. We’ve had five classes togethe...
Micro_crush_micro
Cookie asks: “How do I make the first move when it comes to chatting with my crush? I’m craving c...
Micro_howtoplanadate-micro
Asking someone out can seem like a piece of cake until you realize that you then have to plan a d...
Micro_boyfriend_micro
Hopeful2012 asks: “I’m turning 16 this year and I’ve never had a boyfriend, but all of my friends...

Dear Dish-It in the forums

Alexis7343
Alexis7343 posted in Friends:
Yes, both online and in person. It sucks when they say i did it its just they bullied me and I got back at them just 10x harder! I'm a nice person but I can be a real stuck up B!^** if you wanna mess with me. If I get back at you your gonna get it bad.
reply 1 minute
GlimmeringSky16
Not really throughout my life but I guess since bullying is repeated teasing, once in fifth grade these kids made up the joke that my name(Su for those you that don't know) stood for StupidUgly, which I mean wasn't THAT bad but I was like what, 10 xD I mean I let it roll off but did end up crying in the shower once. My mom caught me and made me explain everything and made it better. So really, instead of hiding it I recommend talking to an adult about it if you're ever bullied, even tho keeping it a secret may seem like a good idea.  Ever since then I've never been bullied. I'm thankful fo that c;
reply about 1 hour
ha1l13
ha1l13 posted in Friends:
YEs I have been bullied. A lot. People who I think are my friends are back stabbers. They suddenly just like turn on me. I've had rumoursspread about me and I was so sad. I hated being bullied. But the best thing to do if you are being bullied is to hold your head high and not cry. Because if you show a single tear that is what the bully wants And it will take you as an easy target and will bully you more and more and more and more. And bullies won't stop until you stand up to them.
reply about 1 hour
insanity_ws
insanity_ws posted in Friends:
I've been bullied and teased before. Honesty a bullies opinion means no more than anyone else's opinion does so pay them no mind.
reply about 2 hours
DisneyanimeLover
I've been bullied. I've been teased. But, you really shouldn't pay attention to bullies. If you compare them to everybody I'm the world, they're one tiny thing, so why should their opinion matter?
reply about 4 hours

play online games