Dear Dish-it: I Have A Crush On My Best Friend

Feb 07, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My best friend and I have been inseparable since we were little kids. But now that she has a boyfriend, I don't see her as much. Seeing her with another guy makes me jealous and I realize that I have a crush on her. Should I tell her?


Dear Crushing,

It sounds to me like you didn't realize you had more than friendly feelings for your bff until she got a boyfriend. This jealousy that you're feeling may not stem from romantic feelings. It could be from the fact that you're growing up and apart, as though she's moving on without you. As you grow up, it's natural for best friends to lead separate lives, which means getting into relationships. That doesn't mean your friendship is over. It's just part of the maturing process. Maybe you'd feel better about your best friend having a boyfriend if you had a girlfriend of your own. 

Gauge Her Feelings

If you're certain that the feelings you have for her are romantic, that's okay. Whether or not you tell her will depend on your specific situation. But keep in mind that if she's happy in her relationship and you do decide to spill the beans, you may not get the response you want. In fact, it might make things awkward for you guys. Your best bet is to wait. If she and her boyfriend break up, be there for her. Allow her some time to heal. And try to gauge her interaction with you. Does she show signs that she likes you too, or are they all in your head? Sometimes, when we have a crush, we only see what we want to see. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by love. 

The Possible Outcomes

There are three ways this could go if you do reveal your feelings to her: first (and best case scenario) she might reciprocate those feelings and you'll both live happily ever after; second, she may tell you that she doesn't feel the same way and hope that you guys can still be best friends; and third (and worst case scenario) she might be freaked out by your confession and it could put a strain on your friendship. Think all of these possible outcomes through before making your decision. Is revealing your feelings worth potentially losing her as a friend? Or is keeping your feelings inside too painful?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Crushing? Tell us in our comment section below!



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Should You Make A Move On Your Crush?

  • YES: If you don't it may not ever happen!
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  • Maybe: It depends on how sure you are your crush likes you back
  • Dunno: I've never had a crush on anyone before

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Polarbear816 posted in Friends:
Yeah me too
reply about 6 hours
pwetty576 posted in Friends:
i do not have a best friend =( =( =(
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smartysatya posted in Friends:
Emily164 , The_Stunner, Smilesapart, analissa , rida , etc etc etc
reply about 7 hours
kittenmeeoows posted in Friends:
im about to move to the biggest school in the  state from like the smallest what do i do will i fit in 
reply about 19 hours
fake_smiles posted in Friends:
Okay so basically I used to go to this school and I met some of the people who I wish to be life long friends with. Problem: All of them go to a different school Problem: I go to a dumb boarding school and only get to spend 1 day and a half with them when i come back on fridays before I leave to go to school on Sundays. I really hate this school too. My sister graduated high school from here and my other sister is in her last year here. After this year I'm going to be all alone at this school. I'll have to be going here for the next seven years since its a middle and high school and I'm only in middle school. Plus my sisters are the best students there. Every time I tell people I'm the sister of Stephanie and Siri,they automatically have high expectations of me. But mainly,I just want to know how to keep in touch with my best friends. We can't even have phones at school so I can't talk to them during the week. [s:sm3/1jw0]
reply about 20 hours

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