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Dear Dish-it: I Have A Crush On My Best Friend

Feb 07, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My best friend and I have been inseparable since we were little kids. But now that she has a boyfriend, I don't see her as much. Seeing her with another guy makes me jealous and I realize that I have a crush on her. Should I tell her?

Crushing

Dear Crushing,

It sounds to me like you didn't realize you had more than friendly feelings for your bff until she got a boyfriend. This jealousy that you're feeling may not stem from romantic feelings. It could be from the fact that you're growing up and apart, as though she's moving on without you. As you grow up, it's natural for best friends to lead separate lives, which means getting into relationships. That doesn't mean your friendship is over. It's just part of the maturing process. Maybe you'd feel better about your best friend having a boyfriend if you had a girlfriend of your own. 

Gauge Her Feelings

If you're certain that the feelings you have for her are romantic, that's okay. Whether or not you tell her will depend on your specific situation. But keep in mind that if she's happy in her relationship and you do decide to spill the beans, you may not get the response you want. In fact, it might make things awkward for you guys. Your best bet is to wait. If she and her boyfriend break up, be there for her. Allow her some time to heal. And try to gauge her interaction with you. Does she show signs that she likes you too, or are they all in your head? Sometimes, when we have a crush, we only see what we want to see. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by love. 

The Possible Outcomes

There are three ways this could go if you do reveal your feelings to her: first (and best case scenario) she might reciprocate those feelings and you'll both live happily ever after; second, she may tell you that she doesn't feel the same way and hope that you guys can still be best friends; and third (and worst case scenario) she might be freaked out by your confession and it could put a strain on your friendship. Think all of these possible outcomes through before making your decision. Is revealing your feelings worth potentially losing her as a friend? Or is keeping your feelings inside too painful?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Crushing? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

343 Comments

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Should You Make A Move On Your Crush?

  • YES: If you don't it may not ever happen!
  • No: If it's meant to be you won't have to do anything to make it happen
  • Maybe: It depends on how sure you are your crush likes you back
  • Dunno: I've never had a crush on anyone before

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
"sparkly_chick" wrote: I keep saying stupid things and messing up with my friends and now they hate me. /.\ Don't say "they don't deserve you" or something, because I don't deserve them. They're great friends and I'm just... stupid. I'm sorry dear but things do get better and its not your fault. Everyone messes up, its just a part a life. If you need to talk and explain to me with more info you can, I'm here. :)    ^^This. You're not stupid either. Everybody makes mistakes and messes things up.
reply about 7 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Don't make your mom get irritated or she might start abusing you too. Talk to a counselor at school or something and figure out a way, like living with a relative or something. A counsellor is a good idea but talking to your mom is more important. She's your guardian. Don't worry about irritating her, tell her how you feel. Communication is important and the fear of getting abused should never ever get in between your relationship unless it's a previous factor in that relationship (not one with someone else). You have a right to tell her how you feel and have a discussion with her about it. I'm sure you can come to some sort of understanding. And if not, then maybe talk to someone outside the family. But don't go behind her back and talk to someone else about it unless it's 100% necessary for your family. She needs to know how you feel.
reply about 7 hours
Kirsteeeeen
I know it must feel awful. But you have to remember that your parents still love you, they just don't have time to show it sometimes. Autism requires a lot of work, attention, and support. Unfortunately that's a sacrifice you make for family. Sometimes you have to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. They're doing this for the family.
reply about 7 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Just go to hottopic get too many band t-shirts and a homestuck t-shirt put on black pants and cardigan and anime character shoes and the end  My life.
reply about 7 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Why not both? :p
reply about 7 hours

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