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Dear Dish-it: I Have A Crush On My Best Friend

Feb 07, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My best friend and I have been inseparable since we were little kids. But now that she has a boyfriend, I don't see her as much. Seeing her with another guy makes me jealous and I realize that I have a crush on her. Should I tell her?

Crushing

Dear Crushing,

It sounds to me like you didn't realize you had more than friendly feelings for your bff until she got a boyfriend. This jealousy that you're feeling may not stem from romantic feelings. It could be from the fact that you're growing up and apart, as though she's moving on without you. As you grow up, it's natural for best friends to lead separate lives, which means getting into relationships. That doesn't mean your friendship is over. It's just part of the maturing process. Maybe you'd feel better about your best friend having a boyfriend if you had a girlfriend of your own. 

Gauge Her Feelings

If you're certain that the feelings you have for her are romantic, that's okay. Whether or not you tell her will depend on your specific situation. But keep in mind that if she's happy in her relationship and you do decide to spill the beans, you may not get the response you want. In fact, it might make things awkward for you guys. Your best bet is to wait. If she and her boyfriend break up, be there for her. Allow her some time to heal. And try to gauge her interaction with you. Does she show signs that she likes you too, or are they all in your head? Sometimes, when we have a crush, we only see what we want to see. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by love. 

The Possible Outcomes

There are three ways this could go if you do reveal your feelings to her: first (and best case scenario) she might reciprocate those feelings and you'll both live happily ever after; second, she may tell you that she doesn't feel the same way and hope that you guys can still be best friends; and third (and worst case scenario) she might be freaked out by your confession and it could put a strain on your friendship. Think all of these possible outcomes through before making your decision. Is revealing your feelings worth potentially losing her as a friend? Or is keeping your feelings inside too painful?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Crushing? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

344 Comments

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Crush_poll

Should You Make A Move On Your Crush?

  • YES: If you don't it may not ever happen!
  • No: If it's meant to be you won't have to do anything to make it happen
  • Maybe: It depends on how sure you are your crush likes you back
  • Dunno: I've never had a crush on anyone before

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Ashleexo
Ashleexo posted in Family Issues:
I like both my parents the same but for different things.
reply about 4 hours
hahh12
hahh12 posted in Family Issues:
I like my mom more
reply about 4 hours
hahh12
hahh12 posted in Family Issues:
My dad, he yells at me like all the time, i like my mom more 
reply about 4 hours
thrt105
thrt105 posted in Friends:
I have ALOT of friends. I used to have one BFF but she ditched me. After that, I couldn't trust people. I started making more friends so someone would be there for me and I would be there for them. Now, I don't have a BFF. Just a ton of close friends, which I like. But I don't know if I made the right choice of doubting everyone or not.
reply about 5 hours
Ashleexo
Ashleexo posted in Family Issues:
"thrt105" wrote:Yup. My Mom. She and my dad are exact opposites. My dad is innocent, soft, and so, so introverted. My Mom is super tough, strict, and extroverted. I'm like my mom and my brother is like my dad, but I can't talk back to my mom because it's rude, even if I wanted to. I will always love my family, though. no matter what. My parents used to be strict, but not anymore too much.  When I was in trouble, it was my mom I was afraid of to face but if I was going to get punished, i was afraid of them from my dad.
reply about 5 hours