Dear Dish-it: I Have A Crush On My Best Friend

Feb 07, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My best friend and I have been inseparable since we were little kids. But now that she has a boyfriend, I don't see her as much. Seeing her with another guy makes me jealous and I realize that I have a crush on her. Should I tell her?


Dear Crushing,

It sounds to me like you didn't realize you had more than friendly feelings for your bff until she got a boyfriend. This jealousy that you're feeling may not stem from romantic feelings. It could be from the fact that you're growing up and apart, as though she's moving on without you. As you grow up, it's natural for best friends to lead separate lives, which means getting into relationships. That doesn't mean your friendship is over. It's just part of the maturing process. Maybe you'd feel better about your best friend having a boyfriend if you had a girlfriend of your own. 

Gauge Her Feelings

If you're certain that the feelings you have for her are romantic, that's okay. Whether or not you tell her will depend on your specific situation. But keep in mind that if she's happy in her relationship and you do decide to spill the beans, you may not get the response you want. In fact, it might make things awkward for you guys. Your best bet is to wait. If she and her boyfriend break up, be there for her. Allow her some time to heal. And try to gauge her interaction with you. Does she show signs that she likes you too, or are they all in your head? Sometimes, when we have a crush, we only see what we want to see. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by love. 

The Possible Outcomes

There are three ways this could go if you do reveal your feelings to her: first (and best case scenario) she might reciprocate those feelings and you'll both live happily ever after; second, she may tell you that she doesn't feel the same way and hope that you guys can still be best friends; and third (and worst case scenario) she might be freaked out by your confession and it could put a strain on your friendship. Think all of these possible outcomes through before making your decision. Is revealing your feelings worth potentially losing her as a friend? Or is keeping your feelings inside too painful?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Crushing? Tell us in our comment section below!



latest videos


Should You Make A Move On Your Crush?

  • YES: If you don't it may not ever happen!
  • No: If it's meant to be you won't have to do anything to make it happen
  • Maybe: It depends on how sure you are your crush likes you back
  • Dunno: I've never had a crush on anyone before

related stories

Dear Dish-It: I’ve had a crush on this guy for over two years now. We’ve had five classes togethe...
Cookie asks: “How do I make the first move when it comes to chatting with my crush? I’m craving c...
Asking someone out can seem like a piece of cake until you realize that you then have to plan a d...
Hopeful2012 asks: “I’m turning 16 this year and I’ve never had a boyfriend, but all of my friends...

Dear Dish-It in the forums

jenif3 posted in Family Issues:
:sad [s:p/1kqa] [s:p/1kqa] [s:p/1kqa] [s:p/1kqa]
reply about 3 hours
Delancy posted in Friends:
Calm down. Ignore her. You are YOU, don't let anyone change you. If someone hurts, cry a river and build a bridge over it cx
reply 1 day
hello dish-it i hope i not bothering rita im 16 year old and i have autism.i get bullyed a lot. this has been happening online.this girl said that i was crazy and that freddie mercury (queen lead singer) wouldnt love me cause i have autism.i am queen and freddie mercury's #1 fan.the girl said no body would believe me and it made me so upset i had a autistic meltdown.what do i do,please help.  
reply 1 day
EndlessDream posted in Friends:
Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
reply 3 days
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
reply 3 days

play online games