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Dear Dish-it: I Have A Crush On My Best Friend

Feb 07, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My best friend and I have been inseparable since we were little kids. But now that she has a boyfriend, I don't see her as much. Seeing her with another guy makes me jealous and I realize that I have a crush on her. Should I tell her?

Crushing

Dear Crushing,

It sounds to me like you didn't realize you had more than friendly feelings for your bff until she got a boyfriend. This jealousy that you're feeling may not stem from romantic feelings. It could be from the fact that you're growing up and apart, as though she's moving on without you. As you grow up, it's natural for best friends to lead separate lives, which means getting into relationships. That doesn't mean your friendship is over. It's just part of the maturing process. Maybe you'd feel better about your best friend having a boyfriend if you had a girlfriend of your own. 

Gauge Her Feelings

If you're certain that the feelings you have for her are romantic, that's okay. Whether or not you tell her will depend on your specific situation. But keep in mind that if she's happy in her relationship and you do decide to spill the beans, you may not get the response you want. In fact, it might make things awkward for you guys. Your best bet is to wait. If she and her boyfriend break up, be there for her. Allow her some time to heal. And try to gauge her interaction with you. Does she show signs that she likes you too, or are they all in your head? Sometimes, when we have a crush, we only see what we want to see. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by love. 

The Possible Outcomes

There are three ways this could go if you do reveal your feelings to her: first (and best case scenario) she might reciprocate those feelings and you'll both live happily ever after; second, she may tell you that she doesn't feel the same way and hope that you guys can still be best friends; and third (and worst case scenario) she might be freaked out by your confession and it could put a strain on your friendship. Think all of these possible outcomes through before making your decision. Is revealing your feelings worth potentially losing her as a friend? Or is keeping your feelings inside too painful?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Crushing? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

:D
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

That's wrong now just ask her out
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

SamRedLover

SamRedLover wrote:

I have a crush on my best frnd :/
commented: Fri Mar 21, 2014

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Crush_poll

Should You Make A Move On Your Crush?

  • YES: If you don't it may not ever happen!
  • No: If it's meant to be you won't have to do anything to make it happen
  • Maybe: It depends on how sure you are your crush likes you back
  • Dunno: I've never had a crush on anyone before

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Awesomeme234
Awesomeme234 posted in Style:
I think you should be you wether or not your tomboy or girlie your being you. You have your own style and don't let nobody change that because THEY don't like it it only matters if YOU like it
reply about 5 hours
MissD
MissD posted in Style:
This is such an interesting question.. I'll tell you why I think so. I am BOTH the biggest tomboy ever and the girliest girl. I think being either or BOTH is more in YOUR mind than in anything else - it's an internal feeling. Femininity is so personal. I always, always, always have my nails done. BUT they are Gel so they never chip and when I am climbing up mountains or pulling on my wetsuit to things that I find typically damaging to your nails - they stay perfect. So I am doing these rather "tomboyish" activities but my nails are awesome :P I wear a lot of dresses but that doesn't deter me from any activity, the key is shorts underneath. I don't wear make up, not usually but I do love lip gloss. One think I guess I think is important though, feel it. Remind yourself how awesome and unique you are, no matter what you wear - hold your head high and remind yourself you are a QUEEN. Not a princess, lame. BUT a queen! Good Luck, and I love all the practical tips everyone provided. Great job you guys! 
reply about 5 hours
Moxie_Girls
Moxie_Girls posted in Style:
Is it a movie?
reply about 6 hours
blakbutterfly
blakbutterfly posted in Style:
I'll say some stuff that 'girly-girls' do, and the stuff in the brackets would be things added by my best friend. Who is also very annoyingly sarcastic! -.- Paint your toes (get obsessed to them too, all of these girls are!), wear cute little dresses (don't mean huge ballgown style dresses, duh?) , or just fun-cute tops with jeans, maintain your nails (perfectly), take a lot of care about your skin, maintain it, cleanse, moisturize and exfoliate, and start doing make up. (Also, I would suggest to learn how to do a good hair flip, for some reason girly girls are like 'ERMAIGAWD' *flip hair*) Yes, my best friend is annoying but she's girly enough to be able to have a say in here. Here's a bit of advice from me, don't try to change your style because of what people might think or say, do it if you want to and if you feel comfortable with it. You are more than perfect the way you are, whether a tomboy or a girly-girl and it doesn't really matter what you are.
reply about 7 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Personally I think you should just find things you like and wear them without worrying about what style it fits in to. You should express yourself, not conform to other people's views/standards. :)
reply about 7 hours

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