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Dear Dish-it: I Have A Crush On My Best Friend

Feb 07, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My best friend and I have been inseparable since we were little kids. But now that she has a boyfriend, I don't see her as much. Seeing her with another guy makes me jealous and I realize that I have a crush on her. Should I tell her?

Crushing

Dear Crushing,

It sounds to me like you didn't realize you had more than friendly feelings for your bff until she got a boyfriend. This jealousy that you're feeling may not stem from romantic feelings. It could be from the fact that you're growing up and apart, as though she's moving on without you. As you grow up, it's natural for best friends to lead separate lives, which means getting into relationships. That doesn't mean your friendship is over. It's just part of the maturing process. Maybe you'd feel better about your best friend having a boyfriend if you had a girlfriend of your own. 

Gauge Her Feelings

If you're certain that the feelings you have for her are romantic, that's okay. Whether or not you tell her will depend on your specific situation. But keep in mind that if she's happy in her relationship and you do decide to spill the beans, you may not get the response you want. In fact, it might make things awkward for you guys. Your best bet is to wait. If she and her boyfriend break up, be there for her. Allow her some time to heal. And try to gauge her interaction with you. Does she show signs that she likes you too, or are they all in your head? Sometimes, when we have a crush, we only see what we want to see. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by love. 

The Possible Outcomes

There are three ways this could go if you do reveal your feelings to her: first (and best case scenario) she might reciprocate those feelings and you'll both live happily ever after; second, she may tell you that she doesn't feel the same way and hope that you guys can still be best friends; and third (and worst case scenario) she might be freaked out by your confession and it could put a strain on your friendship. Think all of these possible outcomes through before making your decision. Is revealing your feelings worth potentially losing her as a friend? Or is keeping your feelings inside too painful?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Crushing? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

:D
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

That's wrong now just ask her out
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

SamRedLover

SamRedLover wrote:

I have a crush on my best frnd :/
commented: Fri Mar 21, 2014

there are 340 more comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
what're are you talking about??!!ur an awesome advise giver, but I do go to a type of therapy, its a strengthening families therapy thing, i's like three hours long, and I'm like the oldest person there, so that probably won't work, but u seem like an awesome person can I friend u??!! btw thanks for the advice I doesnt understand how your the oldest person there when its the strengthening families therapy thing and does your family go?   Thanks though and me advise is when you walk in the next time go up to the therapist and ask her / him that you would appreciates if you can have the quiet word without anyone listening.  And then tell her/ him how your feeling.  This seems like one person you can tell Yush of course and I will accept :) Your welcomes and I will do me best :angel
reply about 9 hours
toripizza
what're are you talking about??!!ur an awesome advise giver, but I do go to a type of therapy, its a strengthening families therapy thing, i's like three hours long, and I'm like the oldest person there, so that probably won't work, but u seem like an awesome person can I friend u??!! btw thanks for the advice
reply about 9 hours
toripizza
ill' probably watch It when 'm done with my homework, but seriously thanks
reply about 10 hours
hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
Ello and I am sorry your going through all this pain. Your  being strong for everyone else trying to put on the happy smiley face and at the same time your feeling so miserables.  You said in your post that you already does go to the type of therapy.  Is there any way you can talk to someone at the therapy sessions and say you need to talk about this? Sometimes you has to say you has the problem cos right now your giving the signal that your ok cos your hiding your feelings. Im the horrible advise giver but im the good friend and i care and if you wanna comment me then i will do me best to be your friend and listen :love
reply about 10 hours
alexiarina123
your welcome , youtube explains clearly all abt the laws of attraction. It will help u  BIG time....just remember to do it the right way:)
reply about 10 hours

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