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Dear Dish-it: I Have A Crush On My Best Friend

Feb 07, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My best friend and I have been inseparable since we were little kids. But now that she has a boyfriend, I don't see her as much. Seeing her with another guy makes me jealous and I realize that I have a crush on her. Should I tell her?

Crushing

Dear Crushing,

It sounds to me like you didn't realize you had more than friendly feelings for your bff until she got a boyfriend. This jealousy that you're feeling may not stem from romantic feelings. It could be from the fact that you're growing up and apart, as though she's moving on without you. As you grow up, it's natural for best friends to lead separate lives, which means getting into relationships. That doesn't mean your friendship is over. It's just part of the maturing process. Maybe you'd feel better about your best friend having a boyfriend if you had a girlfriend of your own. 

Gauge Her Feelings

If you're certain that the feelings you have for her are romantic, that's okay. Whether or not you tell her will depend on your specific situation. But keep in mind that if she's happy in her relationship and you do decide to spill the beans, you may not get the response you want. In fact, it might make things awkward for you guys. Your best bet is to wait. If she and her boyfriend break up, be there for her. Allow her some time to heal. And try to gauge her interaction with you. Does she show signs that she likes you too, or are they all in your head? Sometimes, when we have a crush, we only see what we want to see. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by love. 

The Possible Outcomes

There are three ways this could go if you do reveal your feelings to her: first (and best case scenario) she might reciprocate those feelings and you'll both live happily ever after; second, she may tell you that she doesn't feel the same way and hope that you guys can still be best friends; and third (and worst case scenario) she might be freaked out by your confession and it could put a strain on your friendship. Think all of these possible outcomes through before making your decision. Is revealing your feelings worth potentially losing her as a friend? Or is keeping your feelings inside too painful?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Crushing? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

:D
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

That's wrong now just ask her out
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

SamRedLover

SamRedLover wrote:

I have a crush on my best frnd :/
commented: Fri Mar 21, 2014

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Crush_poll

Should You Make A Move On Your Crush?

  • YES: If you don't it may not ever happen!
  • No: If it's meant to be you won't have to do anything to make it happen
  • Maybe: It depends on how sure you are your crush likes you back
  • Dunno: I've never had a crush on anyone before

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

zee120
zee120 posted in Friends:
you are so true u just lifted up my spirit(;
reply about 8 hours
ginnygator
Ask Joey if he will talk to William for you, to find out what is going on. Say to him "Hey, can you ask William if I went to far with him because if I did tell him that I am sorry, I did not mean to?" That is all of the advice that I can give you for now talk to me if you need anything else.
reply about 10 hours
kidwizkool123
kidwizkool123 posted in Friends:
ya but that isn't quite what I am saying I was just saying that all u really have to do is just be your self to make friends but if you aren't being yourself then they will be thinking that u r someone else and just get the wrong idea!! anyway thx for posting!!
reply about 10 hours
InternetOwl
InternetOwl posted in Friends:
Yep, being yourself is very important especially with friends. Though remember you're going to have different attitudes towards different people, and that doesn't mean you're fake. 
reply about 10 hours
ginnygator
You should speak to them, say " I heard you when you two had your fight  and I heard every word, I need to know what is happening between you guys". That will let them no that you are worried about them. They will probably say " That is none of your concern" or "We are discussing it". You should then say "I am part of this family to and I deserve to know" or "You two need to talk about it right here then, because I need to know what is happening right now". That is the best advice that I can give you.
reply about 10 hours

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