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Dear Dish-it: I Have A Crush On My Best Friend

Feb 07, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My best friend and I have been inseparable since we were little kids. But now that she has a boyfriend, I don't see her as much. Seeing her with another guy makes me jealous and I realize that I have a crush on her. Should I tell her?

Crushing

Dear Crushing,

It sounds to me like you didn't realize you had more than friendly feelings for your bff until she got a boyfriend. This jealousy that you're feeling may not stem from romantic feelings. It could be from the fact that you're growing up and apart, as though she's moving on without you. As you grow up, it's natural for best friends to lead separate lives, which means getting into relationships. That doesn't mean your friendship is over. It's just part of the maturing process. Maybe you'd feel better about your best friend having a boyfriend if you had a girlfriend of your own. 

Gauge Her Feelings

If you're certain that the feelings you have for her are romantic, that's okay. Whether or not you tell her will depend on your specific situation. But keep in mind that if she's happy in her relationship and you do decide to spill the beans, you may not get the response you want. In fact, it might make things awkward for you guys. Your best bet is to wait. If she and her boyfriend break up, be there for her. Allow her some time to heal. And try to gauge her interaction with you. Does she show signs that she likes you too, or are they all in your head? Sometimes, when we have a crush, we only see what we want to see. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by love. 

The Possible Outcomes

There are three ways this could go if you do reveal your feelings to her: first (and best case scenario) she might reciprocate those feelings and you'll both live happily ever after; second, she may tell you that she doesn't feel the same way and hope that you guys can still be best friends; and third (and worst case scenario) she might be freaked out by your confession and it could put a strain on your friendship. Think all of these possible outcomes through before making your decision. Is revealing your feelings worth potentially losing her as a friend? Or is keeping your feelings inside too painful?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Crushing? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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readers voted!

Comments

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

:D
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

Arshawn

Arshawn wrote:

That's wrong now just ask her out
commented: Mon Mar 31, 2014

SamRedLover

SamRedLover wrote:

I have a crush on my best frnd :/
commented: Fri Mar 21, 2014

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Should You Make A Move On Your Crush?

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  • No: If it's meant to be you won't have to do anything to make it happen
  • Maybe: It depends on how sure you are your crush likes you back
  • Dunno: I've never had a crush on anyone before

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

AlphaT
AlphaT posted in Family Issues:
When it comes to friends dissing you...why are they dissing you? Did you tell them? If you do decide or have done that, expect some harsh comments. People these days only know what they have ben taught, on both sides of this topic. The thing that you need to remember is, "Are these friends really friends if they are going to diss me?"
reply 29 minutes
AlphaT
AlphaT posted in Family Issues:
Many answers to that one, mate. The question isn't is it, the question is should it. Legally? No Ethically? No Spiritually? Eh...pass. Scientifically? Debatable. It really depends on who you're asking and what you're asking it about. For example, this group says that yes, it is wrong. This group over here, however, says it is not. To what are you referring to?
reply about 1 hour
GottaLoveDance
GottaLoveDance posted in Friends:
"Kirsteeeeen" wrote:Talk to her about it and see if she'll stop. Explain your side of the story. Offer to help her outside of school so she doesn't copy. If she doesn't listen, perhaps give the teacher a heads up. They might be able to work with her so she doesn't have to copy. thanks
reply about 1 hour
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Talk to her about it and see if she'll stop. Explain your side of the story. Offer to help her outside of school so she doesn't copy. If she doesn't listen, perhaps give the teacher a heads up. They might be able to work with her so she doesn't have to copy.
reply about 1 hour
Kirsteeeeen
It is definitely not. You are who you are and feel the way you feel.
reply about 1 hour

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