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Dear Dish-it: How Do I Change My Reputation?

May 15, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been putting up a front for 2 years now. I pretend to be reckless, evil and crazy, and I don’t know why. Now I have a stupid reputationI want to go back to the way I was before, a girl who loves animals, nature, anti-bullying clubs, school, reading and writing. What should I do?

Pretender

Dear Pretender,

As we grow up, it’s normal to go through different phases. We try out different personalities, clothing styles, groups of friends and over-all personas. But in truth, we’re only trying to figure out who we are. Usually there is a deeper reason why we adopt extremes, like being evil and crazy as you say. Look inside yourself and figure out what is missing in your life that is causing you to act this way. Are you having troubles at home? With school? With friends? With your self-image or confidence? Are you lonely? Once you’ve figured out the reason, you need to take steps toward filling this void with positivity.

Moving On

The great thing is, it looks like you’re on the right track. The fact that you want to return to your old self shows that maybe you’ve already moved on from that underlying issue. So congrats! That’s a big step.

Get Involved

The things that you love are very impressive and it’s important that you pursue these passions again. Try getting involved at school, by joining a club or sport. People might be resistant to accept this new you at first, especially if they know the reckless side. But if you consistently show them your softer side, people will eventually forget your crazy past. Another way to go is to join a club outside of school. The new people you meet there won’t know you. So you can be the person you want to be from the start.

Take The First Step

The first step will definitely be the hardest. You may have to change your look or your attitude or, toughest of all, your friends. But it’ll be totally worth it once you stop living this lie and reveal your true self. Don’t let anyone bring you down. You’re strong and you can do this!

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pretender? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

64 Comments

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
Did something happen between you two in the past? If so, I feel like she might have some unresolved issues with you that you need to discuss with her. And, time doesn't always mean a lot. I've gotten closer to someone before compared to someone whom I had known for 8 years.
reply about 5 hours
country_girl19
country_girl19 posted in Friends:
Dear Dish-it,                          Me and my friend just started talking again, and it seems like she regrets it. She'll leave me for the people she has only known for a couple of months, when I've been friends with her for a year. Also, she gets annoyed with me, and I don't know what to do.
reply about 5 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I'll be honest, I don't think that it's very fair that you're placing so much blame on your mother. Cancer is very hard to heal in any animal or person. She may of been able to help one spot, but that doesn't mean that she was going to be able to heal the rest. There's a slim chance that they could of made it through, but it's probably for the best that she put him down. Cancer is a painful thing to go through for dogs and humans alike. It would of been worse to push it. As for the depression, I understand where you're coming from with it. It's a difficult thing to go through and it makes things hard to do. I've struggled with things in the past and sometimes still do, so take my word on this: Eat. What. You. Can. Don't starve yourself. Don't binge. Don't do anything. Keep eating. Your health matters too. You need to find things to do, like hobbies (drawing, reading, writing, ect.) and spend time with friends when you can. At least talk to your friends, don't push them away. They're there for you, even when they might not know how to be. Don't be ashamed to cry, it's perfectly fine too. It's a better alternative of getting things out than a lot of things you could be doing. Do not, under any circumstances, start cutting. Take it from someone who's dealt with it on a personal level in several ways, do not start it. It is not something you "won't get addicted too" and it will not be a "one time thing." Do not try it. Do not start it. Do not try to find "softer" alternatives to cutting. Self-harm is not a fixer, it does not help anything. It isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a personal issue along with mental illness. But it is a very big deal. "And to go and kill him like that instead of getting him help?" There isn't always a place to help. Sometimes it won't do the things we wish it would.
reply about 12 hours
RavenClawRaina
My dog, Loki, was old and had cancer. He was 14. My mom healed one of his cancer spots but not even a month later, she put him down. He had life in him. He played like a puppy. If she healed one spot, why couldnt she heal the rest? He could have lived right? He was like my little brother, I loved him like one. He was family. Every since he passed, Ive been depressed. Losing weight and not wanting to go out and hangout with friends. Me and my mom get into fights more. At some points, I hate her for what she did. I dont dare tell anyone about my depression and I cry every night until 3:30 am. I have considered cutting but I dont want anyone to judge me. Im not going to but I just want someone to understand what his loss did to my heart. Ive had him since i was a baby. He was my best friend. And to go and kill him like that instead of getting him help? I was mad. Can anyone relate? Can someone help me? ( im not going to a therapist btw ) UGH WHAT DO I DO?!  
reply about 15 hours
Pokemonlegends05
Sometimes Video Games can Cheer you up as well. Happy, Vibrant Games: New Super Mario Bros. U Pokemon Shuffle Any of the Mario Party games. Minecraft Super Mario 3d world (Wow, a ton of Mario games :p) Jak and Daxter Super Mario 64 These are useful for making this :e into this  =(
reply 6 days