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Dear Dish-it: How Do I Change My Reputation?

May 15, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been putting up a front for 2 years now. I pretend to be reckless, evil and crazy, and I don’t know why. Now I have a stupid reputationI want to go back to the way I was before, a girl who loves animals, nature, anti-bullying clubs, school, reading and writing. What should I do?

Pretender

Dear Pretender,

As we grow up, it’s normal to go through different phases. We try out different personalities, clothing styles, groups of friends and over-all personas. But in truth, we’re only trying to figure out who we are. Usually there is a deeper reason why we adopt extremes, like being evil and crazy as you say. Look inside yourself and figure out what is missing in your life that is causing you to act this way. Are you having troubles at home? With school? With friends? With your self-image or confidence? Are you lonely? Once you’ve figured out the reason, you need to take steps toward filling this void with positivity.

Moving On

The great thing is, it looks like you’re on the right track. The fact that you want to return to your old self shows that maybe you’ve already moved on from that underlying issue. So congrats! That’s a big step.

Get Involved

The things that you love are very impressive and it’s important that you pursue these passions again. Try getting involved at school, by joining a club or sport. People might be resistant to accept this new you at first, especially if they know the reckless side. But if you consistently show them your softer side, people will eventually forget your crazy past. Another way to go is to join a club outside of school. The new people you meet there won’t know you. So you can be the person you want to be from the start.

Take The First Step

The first step will definitely be the hardest. You may have to change your look or your attitude or, toughest of all, your friends. But it’ll be totally worth it once you stop living this lie and reveal your true self. Don’t let anyone bring you down. You’re strong and you can do this!

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pretender? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

59 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

simran88
simran88 posted in Style:
Clothes...
reply 41 minutes
simran88
simran88 posted in Style:
Great suggestions! I'll try the tape idea, have never done it before. 
reply about 1 hour
arthi
arthi posted in Friends:
"shae508" wrote: "classicalmusicisepic" wrote: my friends offline are having some relationship problems atm and there are just some things i want to mention on here, because i think they're relevant; some warning signs, etc and how to approach them. these not only apply to romantic relationships, but also friendships etc. physical harm - this might be an obvious one. but i just want to share some ways to approach the situation. this includes unwanted touching, hitting, kicking, etc. if your partner is doing this to you, you must report it to a trusted adult, teacher, counselor, close friend, or family member. this is one of the most serious abusive relationships- there are many resources online such as childline, etc, and hotlines you can call if you need to speak to someone about it. they may be able to help you get out of the relationship, and give you a shoulder to cry on. pressure into unwanted intimacy - this is also one of the big ones- your partner should never make you feel uncomfortable or otherwise. if they wish to stay with you, they will wait until you're ready to move onto that stage; if you even ever will be. if you feel pressured, or pushed into doing something you feel you'll regret, sit down and talk about it with your partner. you have a say in your relationship, too. control over your friends - if you feel like your partner has control over your friends- something is wrong. if they want you to dedicate every second of your life to them, with no other people, it's not right. your relationship not only affects the two people in it, (or more if it's polyamourous), but everyone around is affected by your relationship, too. again- you have a say in how your relationship is going, too!   criticizing you and your choices - relationships are about liking each other- if your partner is putting you down or demeaning you, it's a warning sign to get out of it. are they mocking you? or putting down your appearance, clothes, etc? Definite red flag; talk about it with him/her/them.  other signs, include: -being doted and adored one day, and the next being pushed away and ignored, -you're afraid of your partner -they obsess over and call/text you constantly -you may find you've lost your confidence -many ups and downs in the relationship, constant roller coaster -you aren't yourself. you change and adapt for them, drop hobbies if they're not into them, etc. -something tells you you cant trust them again, there are many resources out there if you need to talk. never be afraid to speak about it to someone- a family member, a teacher, a close friend, the police, a guidance counselor, etc.  I bolded that one part. The whole thread is great. And that one is a sign. But remember people with mental illness may also show signs like this to. If they have a good they they may spoil you and love you, and then the next day they're having a bad one. So they might push you away. They also may suddenly dote on you one day also to make up for a bad day. I'm not making an excuse, it's still a ver bad thing to do. I'm just putting it out there.
reply about 3 hours
lelnah
lelnah posted in Friends:
"Tldc_Julisha" wrote:I'm in the popular group but im trying to figure out if maybe its time to stop being in the popular group or notI like being in the group but at the same time I don't because-The other girls in the popular group are kind mean to othersThey make fun of people who don't wear what we wearThey push/shove people into lockersIs it time to leave the popular group or should I stay there??? Of course not! What kinds of people just go through their everyday lives shoving good kids into hard metal lockers? It's not right. I would never associate myself with a group like that. What kind of popular is that, shoving kids into lockers?  
reply about 12 hours
Hannah728
Hannah728 posted in Friends:
Ok i have the same problem with every guy! I have a crush on the cutest guy and i think somebody else likes him! And i mean like for sure think that they like him!
reply about 15 hours

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