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Dear Dish-it: How Do I Change My Reputation?

May 15, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I’ve been putting up a front for 2 years now. I pretend to be reckless, evil and crazy, and I don’t know why. Now I have a stupid reputationI want to go back to the way I was before, a girl who loves animals, nature, anti-bullying clubs, school, reading and writing. What should I do?

Pretender

Dear Pretender,

As we grow up, it’s normal to go through different phases. We try out different personalities, clothing styles, groups of friends and over-all personas. But in truth, we’re only trying to figure out who we are. Usually there is a deeper reason why we adopt extremes, like being evil and crazy as you say. Look inside yourself and figure out what is missing in your life that is causing you to act this way. Are you having troubles at home? With school? With friends? With your self-image or confidence? Are you lonely? Once you’ve figured out the reason, you need to take steps toward filling this void with positivity.

Moving On

The great thing is, it looks like you’re on the right track. The fact that you want to return to your old self shows that maybe you’ve already moved on from that underlying issue. So congrats! That’s a big step.

Get Involved

The things that you love are very impressive and it’s important that you pursue these passions again. Try getting involved at school, by joining a club or sport. People might be resistant to accept this new you at first, especially if they know the reckless side. But if you consistently show them your softer side, people will eventually forget your crazy past. Another way to go is to join a club outside of school. The new people you meet there won’t know you. So you can be the person you want to be from the start.

Take The First Step

The first step will definitely be the hardest. You may have to change your look or your attitude or, toughest of all, your friends. But it’ll be totally worth it once you stop living this lie and reveal your true self. Don’t let anyone bring you down. You’re strong and you can do this!

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Pretender? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

64 Comments

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

labimba
labimba posted in Style:
Neko girl I have to get back in shape for September if u want we can be training buddies!  :)  
reply about 4 hours
animallover468
animallover468 posted in Style:
EndlessDream is right. Skipping breakfast and lunch can result in stomach ulcers and sudden weight gain (had personal experience...), ESPECIALLY skipping breakfast! You have to incorporate exercise in your daily routine. Stomach and body fat is mostly caused by lack of exercise, and maybe that means you need to do toning exercises. Try doing simple exercise videos like the 3-mile powerwalk on YouTube (trust me, I sweat like crazy when I do those workouts). Anything that gets you sweating, is the kind of exercise you need to do.  I hated working out when I first started my weight loss journey too. I would always start wheezing every time I started working out. But after pushing through everyday, I think working out is one of the best stress busters I've ever had!  If you want to lower your appetite though, I suggest eating a full lunch and breakfast and skipping your dinner. If you can't skip dinner, then at least try aiming for an early dinner, around 5:30 or 6:00. Your body needs time to digest at least 4 hours before you sleep. I started gaining weight around puberty when I was 12, it could be the same for you too.  But honestly, there's nothing wrong with having consciousness about your weight. Now starving yourself and dieting is BAD, but there's nothing wrong with changing your lifestyle in order to be fit. It's a good thing that kids start caring about their health, and the earlier you start, the better off you are. 
reply about 5 hours
EndlessDream
EndlessDream posted in Style:
You need breakfast and lunch. Starving yourself, even if you aren't hungry, makes you loose energy to the point you could pass out from not eating. Keep your diet healthy. For breakfast, at least have yogurt, fruit, and juice. Drink at least 4 full glasses of water a day. Trim down on the snacks. Everyone has different bodies and build. You may just be large-boned. And that's not bad! That makes you stronger and higher ability to gain muscle. Loosing weight doesn't happen over night. It can take months. 
reply about 23 hours
Nekogirl101
Nekogirl101 posted in Style:
For years my parents would tell me I'm skinny but compared to other people, my waist was bigger and I would always hide it. Though it was obvious I weighed more, I've only been doing this for a week and I didn't ever tell anyone what I was doing until my parents found out. I would skip lunch and breakfast and say I was full. I only ate a big dinner every night. Once my parents found out, they said it was unhealthy and if I didn't  stop, I would develop an eating disorder. I obviously listened to them, but I've tried as best as I can so far. I have barely lost any weight from exercise and my parents won't let me go on a diet because I already 'eat healthy enough'. I want to lose weight without exercising being 3/4s of my lifestyle. I know, I'm a lazy idiot for saying all this.
reply about 24 hours
rainbowpoptart
Yes, purely for the fact that you should not "hate" your sister (or anyone, for that matter).  I'm guessing by "get in trouble for her", you mean she does something wrong and the blame is all put on you? Yeah, little siblings tend to do that a lot. My brother did for the longest time, until my parents found out how much a liar he is. She, hopefully, will grow out of this eventually. Either that, or your parent[s]/guardian[s] will eventually see through her. You lose your friends to her? By this do you mean your friends want to hang out with her and they want you to tag along and you don't? Or do you mean your friends chose your sister over you? If it's the latter, then perhaps you shouldn't have ever referred to those people as friends. You'll find friends who'll prefer you over your sister, I'm sure of it. The only thing I can tell you to do is try to get along with your sister. Every group of siblings has their cats and dogs moment in life, but they grow out of it (most of the time; there are, of course, circumstances where it doesn't work out that way). Please be grateful for your sister, even if you two fight a lot. You never know how much you need something until it's gone.
reply 2 days