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Dear Dish-it: Is Popularity Worth It?

Jul 26, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I am popular but I'm starting to wonder if it's worth the trouble. In the morning, it's such an effort to make sure that I look perfect. I play sports, participate in after-school clubs, do gymnastics, run the student council, write for the school newspaper and maintain straight A's. I do all that while trying to keep my popularity. Hiding behind this fake smile is starting to get to me. Is being popular worth it?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Whether you're in middle school or high school, you've got a lot on your plate. It's great that you participate in so many extra-curricular activities all while getting straight A's. That will look great on your college application. But popularity shouldn't be on that list. Popularity isn't an activity or something that you need to maintain, like your grades. It's something that you should simply be, naturally, not because of how you dress or do your make-up. Being popular should come from the fact that you're a nice person, someone who treats everyone well and is therefore liked by others.

What Popularity Really Means

Over the years, the term popularity has become misconstrued. By definition, popularity means being liked, admired or supported by many people. Nowadays, it has come to mean someone who is good looking, known by many people, and oftentimes treats "unpopular" people poorly. To become someone truly popular, both in school and in the rest of your life, just remember to be kind and confident. Worry less about how you look, and more about how you present your personality to the world. It is better to have a few friends who you can trust and respect and who feel the same about you than it is to have a ton of people who think you're pretty.

Be Yourself

So in answer to your question, no. Popularity by today's standards is not important. You shouldn't have to put on a fake smile just to please other people. It's more important to be kind and to be yourself, and if others don't like you for who you are, it's their loss for missing out on a good thing.

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Confused? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

234 Comments

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Abbergrl
Abbergrl posted in Family Issues:
My mom can be that way too. There's nothing like that, you're exagerating, you dont even know what you're talking about. When all tthaat time I was going through it. She didn't have a clue honestly.
reply about 18 hours
StarrChild
Two years ago my parents broke up. I was never really the same after that point. My mother she began to just not care about anything. She would go out clubbing every Friday and would yell at me for my attitude towards it. Why would I be okay with her doing that??? I didn't really realise it but I began feeling kind of depressed. Of course we didn't fight all the time but when we did I would always end up crying alone in my room. And it would be really painful. One time I cried every night for a week because of her. A week ago, I felt really sick at school so I went to the sick bay but my Mum refused to believe I was sick. She thought I was lying and being over dramatic as usual. I felt really horrible after that, that the teacher sent me to the guidance councellor and almost immediately I burst into tears. I didn't even know why I did but the councellor did a little test on me and came to the conclusion I was slightly depressed and had anxiety. It wasn't really surprising but hearing it out loud just felt really weird. Even after knowing that fact my mother doesn't really act any different. She's not a bad person I swear but she can just be really horrible at times. Anyways, that's technically whats been happening in my life lol. Nothing really interesting
reply about 19 hours
Froggers
theres this guy that i really REALLY like, im not sure if he likes me back. i put my mobile # on a piece of paper and slipped it in his locker, he hasn't texted or called me yet. Today at lunch i asked his friend to ask if he likes anyone but his friend keeps lying to me and won't tell me if he said anything. The guy and I were best friends in 5th grade but now that we're in different classes we don't talk much anymore. My friends said that i have a chance with him and that we have a lot in common, but im pretty sure he likes this other girl but im also pretty sure he likes me. I want to make a move but i don't wanna end our friendship i don't know what to do.
reply 1 day
LUCYQWERTY123
LUCYQWERTY123 posted in Friends:
it can be anyone u want but it should be someone who has the true friendship qualities and trust-worhtiness :) :)
reply 1 day
drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
It's good to have both to talk too about things. But, what's the point of being with someone if you can't trust them enough to even tell them things?
reply 1 day