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Dear Dish-it: Is Popularity Worth It?

Jul 26, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I am popular but I'm starting to wonder if it's worth the trouble. In the morning, it's such an effort to make sure that I look perfect. I play sports, participate in after-school clubs, do gymnastics, run the student council, write for the school newspaper and maintain straight A's. I do all that while trying to keep my popularity. Hiding behind this fake smile is starting to get to me. Is being popular worth it?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Whether you're in middle school or high school, you've got a lot on your plate. It's great that you participate in so many extra-curricular activities all while getting straight A's. That will look great on your college application. But popularity shouldn't be on that list. Popularity isn't an activity or something that you need to maintain, like your grades. It's something that you should simply be, naturally, not because of how you dress or do your make-up. Being popular should come from the fact that you're a nice person, someone who treats everyone well and is therefore liked by others.

What Popularity Really Means

Over the years, the term popularity has become misconstrued. By definition, popularity means being liked, admired or supported by many people. Nowadays, it has come to mean someone who is good looking, known by many people, and oftentimes treats "unpopular" people poorly. To become someone truly popular, both in school and in the rest of your life, just remember to be kind and confident. Worry less about how you look, and more about how you present your personality to the world. It is better to have a few friends who you can trust and respect and who feel the same about you than it is to have a ton of people who think you're pretty.

Be Yourself

So in answer to your question, no. Popularity by today's standards is not important. You shouldn't have to put on a fake smile just to please other people. It's more important to be kind and to be yourself, and if others don't like you for who you are, it's their loss for missing out on a good thing.

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Confused? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

232 Comments

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

aftershock
aftershock posted in Style:
Thanks all of you guys for your responses. It seems many of you don't share pics to get help from friends when you're choosing. Thats OK. If anyone does want to go on the VIP list to be the first to try the new app then feel free to complete the info form here: http://goo.gl/forms/FOiKWa4DoAQHxtOx1 
reply about 15 hours
CoolerThanMyself
I'm a 12 year old girl with really strict parents! I do chores( even handling BLEACH sometimes) , I take care of my little brother, I'm in top set for all my classes- even on the gifted and talented register and I've only ever had 1 detention- and that was their fault anyway bc I was late( they drive). But, I'm still NEVER allowed out with my friends! My friends are all in top sets as well, are well behaved and all we literally would do is window shopping. I mean, there are my age smoking shisha and doing #####- they should be lucky I'm not a delinquent! But my parents always say I can't hang out. Not because they're worried about my safety, they just dont want me to go out.! Even sleepovers, my parents always say no because they ' haven't met the parents" but they make NO effort to do so. I'm losing out on knowing my friends better and whilst they're all making best friends, at school I'm just the person in the background- the left out friend. It hurts and most of the time I wish I was fostered or something. How can I make them loosen up? ( don't say anything about sneaking out because I chose life)
reply 2 days
Corps
Corps posted in Style:
Thank You Mate :)
reply 2 days
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Is there a particular reason or situation causing you to feel this way? I can't provide much advice other than talk to them about it. Communication is important.
reply 3 days
Arenl
Arenl posted in Friends:
He is a jerk, but then what ?? He is your best friend . Maybe you should tell him to sleep for an extra hour. It may be a lack of sleep.
reply 3 days