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Dear Dish-it: Is Popularity Worth It?

Jul 26, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I am popular but I'm starting to wonder if it's worth the trouble. In the morning, it's such an effort to make sure that I look perfect. I play sports, participate in after-school clubs, do gymnastics, run the student council, write for the school newspaper and maintain straight A's. I do all that while trying to keep my popularity. Hiding behind this fake smile is starting to get to me. Is being popular worth it?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Whether you're in middle school or high school, you've got a lot on your plate. It's great that you participate in so many extra-curricular activities all while getting straight A's. That will look great on your college application. But popularity shouldn't be on that list. Popularity isn't an activity or something that you need to maintain, like your grades. It's something that you should simply be, naturally, not because of how you dress or do your make-up. Being popular should come from the fact that you're a nice person, someone who treats everyone well and is therefore liked by others.

What Popularity Really Means

Over the years, the term popularity has become misconstrued. By definition, popularity means being liked, admired or supported by many people. Nowadays, it has come to mean someone who is good looking, known by many people, and oftentimes treats "unpopular" people poorly. To become someone truly popular, both in school and in the rest of your life, just remember to be kind and confident. Worry less about how you look, and more about how you present your personality to the world. It is better to have a few friends who you can trust and respect and who feel the same about you than it is to have a ton of people who think you're pretty.

Be Yourself

So in answer to your question, no. Popularity by today's standards is not important. You shouldn't have to put on a fake smile just to please other people. It's more important to be kind and to be yourself, and if others don't like you for who you are, it's their loss for missing out on a good thing.

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Confused? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

227 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
This is a really weird situation... Maybe she's feeling sorry for you?
reply about 23 hours
AnneS12
AnneS12 posted in Family Issues:
Well That is your choice who you want to stay with.Nobody can force you about it.When your parents see a family<a data-cke-saved-href=" lawyer, then he will ask you whom do you want to stay with and jury will decide.So dont worry .
reply 2 days
worldqweencc
worldqweencc posted in Friends:
I'm not quiet sure what's a real friend and what's a fake one anymore. I know when there's a friend who's only a school friend rather than an 'outside' friend as well, but at the same time it makes me so confused. Here's my story: There's a girl named Xian. We had a unique way of becoming friends ... but it clicked. For the whole year I've been trying to keep in contact with her ... but she's not very willing to try and put in any effort to stay in contact with me. Her personality is beyond sweet, and her skills at art are even better. If she was to have an award, it would be a giant trophy with her face plastered on it and big bold letters listing 'Nicest Girl In The World!' ... Its just ... she lied to me.  I was all about this friendship. I was ... i'll admit ... sort of a lost puppy following around her owner.  So, I got her this T-Shirt she really wanted for her birthday, and not long her birthday was mine, April First. I was expecting at least a letter, or maybe even something cheap. It didn't really matter to me.  But on my birthday she didn't even come to school. Nor when she got back did she ever say sorry, or give me any be-lated gift of any sort.  That should have been my first clue. Even my mother started catching on. My second clue was she even told me she was oblivious and wasn't good at keeping in contact. I thought she was joking. How could a friendship so sweet be tossed out just like that? My third one was near the end of school, one of her friends in elementary was bragging about the plushies she got from Xian. Apparently she had four from her.  Xian had originally told me it was AGAINST her religion to give out gifts to other people. I knew she wasn't lying about her religion in general, because I met her mom on a field trip and she was quiet ... different. But I didn't understand why Xian had gotten so many small plushies for her, and yet not a single small stamp for me? My last clue was the last day of school. She didn't even try to say good-bye or even hang out with me for that matter. I know what you're thinking. "Girl, you've gotta be kidding me if you can't see that she has no intention of being your friend!" But this girl was the nicest to me. She stood next to me during harsh times, and comforted me when I was down. She told me I was important.  And you don't get many friends to do those special things to you. It was rare to have a friend make me feel so tall and worthy.  ... So ... I can't understand ... why'd she do all that .... and suddenly ... just ... walk away ...
reply 3 days
catsandpizza
catsandpizza posted in Style:
American Apparel croptop, Juicy Couture velvet sweatpants and Uggs
reply 3 days
Heyyyyy_
Heyyyyy_ posted in Friends:
"donteatcarrots" wrote:I dunno, looks like something more than being friends is going on here. It's probably best to ask her face-to-face though, before jumping to conclusions. ^^^
reply 3 days

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