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Dear Dish-It, I Want a Best Friend

Advice for teens about best friends and friendship issues.
Advice For Teens About Friends

Dear Dish-It,
I'm 15 and I don't make friends easily. I only have three friends and they aren't my best friends. I really want a best friend that doesn't care what I look like or how I dress or anything like that. I want a friend who just accepts me for who I am. It is really hard to find a best friend these days. I feel like I wanna kill myself because my friends don't care about me. Can you help me?
blackrose11377


Dear blackrose11377,

As I'm sure you already know, there is no magical best friend store where you can go and pick out the perfect person to hang with. Becoming best friends with peeps often takes a lot of time and hard work. You have to put in the effort to really get to know people - their interests, dislikes, probs, etc. There is a friendship formula that always seems to work: you + a peep with similar interests and goals = a good friendship. But you can't work on that formula until you sort out what your own interests, likes and dislikes are. Only then can you find someone who shares them. You need to start accepting who you are before others will begin to accept you. If you can't seem to make friends at school, why not join a group or team outside of school? There are tons of people out there waiting to meet you, so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, go out and track down that best friend you've always wanted.


Dear Dish-It,

My best friend's parents are getting a divorce. I'm in 5th grade and we are going to middle school next year. We have been getting in fights and I don't know what to do. Help!
ShopYoung1


Dear ShopYoung1,

I have a feeling that your best friend isn't angry at you but is just having a hard time dealing with what's goin' on with her 'rents. Let her know that you're there to talk if she needs to get things off her chest and hopefully the next time she has something on her mind, she'll talk to you instead of picking a fight. It takes two to tango, so if you avoid fighting back, your friend will have no one to argue with. Although she may not show it, your friend needs you now more than ever before. Try to be the bigger person and show her the love, even when she doesn't seem to deserve it. Good Luck!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share, we'll dish 'em up, too.


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    Comments

    lonnie123

    lonnie123 wrote:

    I don't like no fake ppl that say that there you best friends nahh that not I need some...
    commented: Mon Jul 28, 2014

    SashaFierce178
    I agree with lilmama_1246!
    commented: Wed Jan 02, 2013

    lilmama_1246

    lilmama_1246 wrote:

    HAVING A BEST FRIEND SOMETIMES AINT WAHT IT CRACKS OUT TO BE YOU GE TIN MORE ARGUEMENT...
    commented: Mon Dec 31, 2012

    there are 11 more comments

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    kaykay2002
    kaykay2002 posted in Friends:
    "Wooper1255" wrote:No. Just no. Mr. Face does not approve this. ._.Okay, okay, let's get serious.Your best friend BULLYING you? And loves it when you get mad? What the heck? SHE'S NOT EVEN YOUR FRIEND!You should have a talk with your best friend. No seriously, she doesn't have any friends cause she's a bully and no one likes to be friends with a bully...You should tell your best friend that she NEEDS to change her attitude! She needs to be more nicer to others also.Also, a best friend is: Caring, Kind, Loyal, Nice, Thoughtful, and will stand up for you against bullies, will be there if you're upset, maybe they'll even CRY with you!A best friend is totally NOT: Someone who bullies you, Someone who likes it when your madYou should ask her any of the following questions:Are you Okay?Why are you bullying me? You're my friend.Is something wrong like family issues?Questions like that are good because there may be a reason for bullying. She could be suffering from depression, or is confused or lonely. Just talk to her. Have a discussion with her. Also, you should talk to other people. Ask them why they aren't friends with your best friend. Then maybe, after they tell you what they don't like about her, you can go back to your best friend and tell her the things she needs to improve on. Also, if necessary, tell an adult like your mom, a teacher, consular, or her mom.Whatever you think will solve this conflict between you and your best friend well... just go for it. But think about the outcome too.Hope I helped, I might add some tips and suggestions to you. :3  your right and the only reason I have put up with her this long is because her dad died but I cant stand her anymore so but seriously I feel like there is another reason bcuz she has had people confront her saying "u know what I have put up wit this for a while and I have told u to stop and u don't listen and I know your dad died but that doesn't mean u can treat people like that "  but she still does it and for the past 3 yrs. I have put up with it but not anymore I will talk to her about it. Thanks.
    reply about 7 hours
    Wooper1255
    Wooper1255 posted in Friends:
    You NEED to tell your parents or HER parents about her attitude, this is abuse from your OWN best friend! Tell an adult, don't be afraid, it's not even SILLY to tell an adult, this is serious, she is HURTING you! Tell someone before things get out of hand and she REALLY hurts you! D=
    reply about 8 hours
    Wooper1255
    Wooper1255 posted in Friends:
    No. Just no. Mr. Face does not approve this. ._. Okay, okay, let's get serious. Your best friend BULLYING you? And loves it when you get mad? What the heck? SHE'S NOT EVEN YOUR FRIEND! You should have a talk with your best friend. No seriously, she doesn't have any friends cause she's a bully and no one likes to be friends with a bully... You should tell your best friend that she NEEDS to change her attitude! She needs to be more nicer to others also. Also, a best friend is: Caring, Kind, Loyal, Nice, Thoughtful, and will stand up for you against bullies, will be there if you're upset, maybe they'll even CRY with you! A best friend is totally NOT: Someone who bullies you, Someone who likes it when your mad You should ask her any of the following questions: Are you Okay? Why are you bullying me? You're my friend. Is something wrong like family issues? Questions like that are good because there may be a reason for bullying. She could be suffering from depression, or is confused or lonely. Just talk to her. Have a discussion with her. Also, you should talk to other people. Ask them why they aren't friends with your best friend. Then maybe, after they tell you what they don't like about her, you can go back to your best friend and tell her the things she needs to improve on. Also, if necessary, tell an adult like your mom, a teacher, consular, or her mom. Whatever you think will solve this conflict between you and your best friend well... just go for it. But think about the outcome too. Hope I helped, I might add some tips and suggestions to you. :3
    reply about 8 hours
    Boysrock50
    Boysrock50 posted in Friends:
    Yeah I had a friend in the same situation as you, he was too scared to say anything so we spoke for him. Now the 'friend' has changed and hes our mate. Just tell her straight and firmly, its the only way
    reply about 8 hours
    kaykay2002
    kaykay2002 posted in Friends:
    "Boysrock50" wrote:She is obviously NOT your best friend.I wouldn't even call her a friendShe is a bully who thinks she can have her own wayShe thinks she can control you like you're her follower because she the truth is she needs youBe smart and leave her because she's only going to keep you down and then one day she will find  friends just like her and she will just ignore you forever, thinking shes too cool for you.I would either:Tell her straight that she needs to make her own friends because you don't want to be friends anymoreor:Tell her that you don't like what she does and either she changes her ways and acts more like a friend, or you cant be friends anymore.I'm not trying to be harsh, I'm being wise and you should be wise too. Thanks I actually might try that but she is really stubborn and will not take no for an answer I have tried just ignoring her but he will kick, hit, or punch me to get attention. my parents also don't like her bcuz she is bossy. I also have to go to summer camp with her for the next 2 weeks and w have to be buddies for it so i think i might die
    reply about 8 hours

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