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Dear Dish-It, How Long Will We Just Be Friends?


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl when I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I am one of those guys who are not too weird or too cool but I have friends who are cool. They have girlfriends - I don't. I have never been on a date before in my life and I am 12. Anyway, there is this very cute girl who everyone likes. I want to know two things: one, how do I act to get a girl? And how do I act on a date? I am also one of those funny people around my friends but not really in front of girls. Please help.
help kid


Dear help kid,

Before I let you in on the secrets of getting a girl, I want to let you know that there is nothing wrong with never having been on a date at 12. You're super young and if I were you, I'd hold off even longer before getting all tangled up in the world of love and dating. Sure it's cool to have a girl to take the movies or talk to on the phone, but you can do all those things without committing to one specific person. Hang out with lots of people, girls and boys, and just have a good time. If you put too much pressure on getting a certain girl's attention, you are just going to stress yourself out and your issue of freezing up around girls is not going to get any better. So, to get a girl (who'll like you for you,) you have to be yourself. Don't put on an act, a show or a fancy costume - just act as you would around your friends! The same goes for how you act on a date. If a girl has agreed to go out with you, then they are looking forward to spending time with the guy that asked them out and no one else. Good Luck!


Dear Dish-It,

I don't usually make use of such sites as this, but in this case, I am desperate. I've had an interest in a particular female for some time now. I finally got my courage up to ask her out. Her reply was the well known, "Let's be friends first." This wasn't a problem in the beginning, since I wanted to get to know her better, anyway. The problem is, the more I get to know her, the more I like her. We have an incredible amount in common and she amazes me everyday with something new. How long does this "just be friends" thing last?
wildkarrde88


Dear wildkarrde88,

Ok, there are two possible reasons for this girl's response of, "let's be friends first." One, she likes you and wants to get to know you better but isn't quite ready to make the GF/BF commitment. Two, she just wants to be friends, and isn't interested in more, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings. So, depending on which scenario you find yourself in, the "just be friends" thing could last just a little while longer or indefinitely. Although this may not work in your favor, you should probably ask her to spell out her feelings. If she's just leading you on, you'll want to know sooner rather than later so you can decide where to go from there - continue on just as friends or cut her loose. So, talk to her and find out what the score is. Good Luck!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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  • 7 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    PerksBeingABookworm
    Dear Dish-It:  I recently became friends with an upperclassman guy, Tom*, from my high school. We started hanging out about a month or so ago. To be honest, I thought the relationship was platonic: we've never flirted although we've bantered, I don't use flirty emojis with him and although I spend a lot of time with him, he has always said how much I remind him of my brother (who is the same age as me), and he's never stolen glances at me or given me the impression that he was into me that way. I rationalized that he saw me as a little sister the same way as I viewed him as an older brother, since he constantly made references to my brother and never attempted to flirt nor gave off any of the typical visual signals of attraction. I also don't see myself as someone who'd be attractive or crush-worthy from the perspective of a high school junior, since I'm a freshman in high school and definitely not modelesque, and we pretty much stuck to group outings. So when he asked me out 2 weeks ago, needless to say it came as a surprise. We decided to remain friends, but I'm having trouble establishing boundaries, especially since my sister informed me that one of his friends told her that Tom "wasn't going to give up on me" and that Tom was going to adhere to the "Three Strikes Rule": apparently, he can wait and ask me out 2 more times before giving up on pursuing me.  Dish-It, how do I remain friends with this guy without this becoming awkward? What do I do? Just this past weekend he wanted to s**pe call me and kept s.n.a.p.ch*tting me. I literally feigned accidentally sleeping in yesterday to avoid meeting up with him (he invited my siblings and I to go play tennis at our high school), and I haven't talked to him since Saturday (we do track together so it was kind of unavoidable). I need space, and I want to remain friends, but he's really making me feel uncomfortable.  Thanks, -Perks. P.S.: This is the second junior who has asked me out this year (and the second guy I've rejected). Maybe I'm just really naive and oblivious, but I genuinely don't see myself as attractive to guys...how do I stop accidentally leading them on? Because I'm not trying to, really-I'm not flirty or anything. I have no idea why they like me, I don't think I'm being overly nice and I'm not answering texts right away or anything. This guy didn't get my phone information from me, he got it from another person on our coed sports team and he originally texted me 2 months ago to tell me that he was worried about my brother so I didn't think he was making a move on me. *Names have been changed for privacy reasons. (Also: the chat filter keeps unnecessarily censoring my writing).
    reply about 1 hour
    Shadeleaf
    Shadeleaf posted in Friends:
    I'm actually already being made fun of for my interests in Undertale. i kinda don't see how playing DnD can be that bad... it's fine. Thx .
    reply 4 days
    Shadeleaf
    "al######ote: i am in love with a boy ..and planning to marry him ..  [s:p/zwq] [s:p/oaq] [s:p/1koh] [s:p/1jn8] [s:p/1jks] Congrats! just hope he doesn't abandon you like mine terrible attempts at a relationship. You may be even luckier than me :3
    reply 4 days
    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    "Shadeleaf" wrote: I've been wondering. I got the  books and all i need would be extra graph paper and character sheets....  Anyways my dad gave me this idea on Friday and I was thinking of it today. Maybe find a few nerds like me... who knows. My dad told me people would make fun of me, but i don't care.... You will face a little making fun of, but as long as you can get past that and ignore others, I think you'll be just fine. If you're already aware of any others like you throughout the school, maybe you should look into making a group! Slip them a note or talk to them yourself, see if they're interested. Good luck!
    reply 4 days
    drowning
    ###### wrote: i am in love with a boy ..and planning to marry him ..  [s:p/zwq] [s:p/oaq] [s:p/1koh] [s:p/1jn8] [s:p/1jks] I realize that I got engaged young as well, but 10 is a tad different. :^)
    reply 4 days