Dear Dish-It, How Long Will We Just Be Friends?

Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl when I've thought about this some more".

Dear Dish-It,

I am one of those guys who are not too weird or too cool but I have friends who are cool. They have girlfriends - I don't. I have never been on a date before in my life and I am 12. Anyway, there is this very cute girl who everyone likes. I want to know two things: one, how do I act to get a girl? And how do I act on a date? I am also one of those funny people around my friends but not really in front of girls. Please help.
help kid

Dear help kid,

Before I let you in on the secrets of getting a girl, I want to let you know that there is nothing wrong with never having been on a date at 12. You're super young and if I were you, I'd hold off even longer before getting all tangled up in the world of love and dating. Sure it's cool to have a girl to take the movies or talk to on the phone, but you can do all those things without committing to one specific person. Hang out with lots of people, girls and boys, and just have a good time. If you put too much pressure on getting a certain girl's attention, you are just going to stress yourself out and your issue of freezing up around girls is not going to get any better. So, to get a girl (who'll like you for you,) you have to be yourself. Don't put on an act, a show or a fancy costume - just act as you would around your friends! The same goes for how you act on a date. If a girl has agreed to go out with you, then they are looking forward to spending time with the guy that asked them out and no one else. Good Luck!

Dear Dish-It,

I don't usually make use of such sites as this, but in this case, I am desperate. I've had an interest in a particular female for some time now. I finally got my courage up to ask her out. Her reply was the well known, "Let's be friends first." This wasn't a problem in the beginning, since I wanted to get to know her better, anyway. The problem is, the more I get to know her, the more I like her. We have an incredible amount in common and she amazes me everyday with something new. How long does this "just be friends" thing last?

Dear wildkarrde88,

Ok, there are two possible reasons for this girl's response of, "let's be friends first." One, she likes you and wants to get to know you better but isn't quite ready to make the GF/BF commitment. Two, she just wants to be friends, and isn't interested in more, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings. So, depending on which scenario you find yourself in, the "just be friends" thing could last just a little while longer or indefinitely. Although this may not work in your favor, you should probably ask her to spell out her feelings. If she's just leading you on, you'll want to know sooner rather than later so you can decide where to go from there - continue on just as friends or cut her loose. So, talk to her and find out what the score is. Good Luck!

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
    reply about 6 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
    reply about 6 hours
    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
    reply about 6 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    This is gonna be long:   I have this 'friend' Amelia. She and I bonded really fast last year and we've become inseparable.   But lately she's blowing me off and my other best friend Belen told me: Amelia is actually using you. She does this to new kids at school, especially from foreign countries. She thinks because you're Chinese and the Chinese teacher's daughter, you'll help her. She's also using you as a backup friend - a substitute. There's this new girl Daniela, who Amelia thinks is her new best friend. She thinks that when Daniela stop hanging out with her, she'll have you.   The thing is, Daniela is pretty nice and she probably doesn't know all the trouble she's causing. Belen's old 'best friend' Andrea is doing the same to her.   I also learned that Amelia is seemingly the 'most popular girl in school' because she's mean to everyone. She always passes by the little kids' classrooms and hugs them & stuff. They seem to love her, but now I know it's because they think if they're nice they won't get bullied.   Maybe she WAS using me but I dunno. Belen says that each kid in the entire school has a bad story about Amelia and something she did to them. I said, "Then how was she so nice to me last year?" Then Belen was all like, "She was using you."   I don't know if she's telling the truth. She and Amelia are deadly enemies and she might be making up the whole Amelia story just to get back at her. Although Amelia has been dropping a few signs that she IS using me as a substitute friend.   Sometimes when I walk in, she'll be like "OOOOHHH! CASSANDRA! HI! HOW ARE YOU! C'MON, LOOK AT THIS! WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOOOO MUCH FUN TOGETHER ..."   And other times I'm like, "Hey, Amelia!" and she says, "Oh. Huh? Yeah, hi ..."  Once during PE we had to sit down and on the way to the gym, she was chatting with me in a BBBBFFFF way. But then when we had to partner up she said with Andrea, Daniela and someone else who I forgot.   I don't know what to do. It's just so weird. Even though now I know she MIGHT be using me (I'm not sure if she really is) it just seems WEIRD. Even for a supposed ##### she was my possibly fake best friend for the whole of last year. It's WEIRD to suddenly switch.   I don't even know if this should be happening. We've only just started 5th grade. Doesn't this WEIRD #### start happening around middle school? Thank you, everyone who will help in advance. P.S. Please include flirting advice. - A Girl Who Might Just Lose Her Possibly Fake Best Friend
    reply about 7 hours
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