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Dear Dish-It, How Long Will We Just Be Friends?


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl when I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I am one of those guys who are not too weird or too cool but I have friends who are cool. They have girlfriends - I don't. I have never been on a date before in my life and I am 12. Anyway, there is this very cute girl who everyone likes. I want to know two things: one, how do I act to get a girl? And how do I act on a date? I am also one of those funny people around my friends but not really in front of girls. Please help.
help kid


Dear help kid,

Before I let you in on the secrets of getting a girl, I want to let you know that there is nothing wrong with never having been on a date at 12. You're super young and if I were you, I'd hold off even longer before getting all tangled up in the world of love and dating. Sure it's cool to have a girl to take the movies or talk to on the phone, but you can do all those things without committing to one specific person. Hang out with lots of people, girls and boys, and just have a good time. If you put too much pressure on getting a certain girl's attention, you are just going to stress yourself out and your issue of freezing up around girls is not going to get any better. So, to get a girl (who'll like you for you,) you have to be yourself. Don't put on an act, a show or a fancy costume - just act as you would around your friends! The same goes for how you act on a date. If a girl has agreed to go out with you, then they are looking forward to spending time with the guy that asked them out and no one else. Good Luck!


Dear Dish-It,

I don't usually make use of such sites as this, but in this case, I am desperate. I've had an interest in a particular female for some time now. I finally got my courage up to ask her out. Her reply was the well known, "Let's be friends first." This wasn't a problem in the beginning, since I wanted to get to know her better, anyway. The problem is, the more I get to know her, the more I like her. We have an incredible amount in common and she amazes me everyday with something new. How long does this "just be friends" thing last?
wildkarrde88


Dear wildkarrde88,

Ok, there are two possible reasons for this girl's response of, "let's be friends first." One, she likes you and wants to get to know you better but isn't quite ready to make the GF/BF commitment. Two, she just wants to be friends, and isn't interested in more, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings. So, depending on which scenario you find yourself in, the "just be friends" thing could last just a little while longer or indefinitely. Although this may not work in your favor, you should probably ask her to spell out her feelings. If she's just leading you on, you'll want to know sooner rather than later so you can decide where to go from there - continue on just as friends or cut her loose. So, talk to her and find out what the score is. Good Luck!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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  • 7 Comments

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    Worst Way to Be Dumped?

    • The "Let's be friends" line.
    • Finding out your guy/girl is cheating on you.
    • In front of your whole history class.
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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    rainbowpoptart
    Goodness... I see where your mother is coming from: if you eat too much, no matter how healthy the food is, and don't work off the calories, you're going to gain weight. But she's being very obsessive and dramatic about it. There is nothing wrong with eating pizza or a cookie every now and then, and there's nothing wrong with relaxing from time to time either. As long as you aren't constantly eating junk and not burning the calories, then you do not have a problem. Eating unhealthy things every now and then does not make you fat. EATING every now and then does not make you fat. Try explaining this to her, calmly and patiently. Tell her that you don't want to be forced to do all of this exercising - being forced to exercise makes it a lot less interesting. Do not take "This is for your own good" for an answer; if you do not want to do it, it is NOT for your good. (This, of course, would be a different story if you were actually fat.) ALSO tell her that exercising too much and not satiating your cravings is JUST AS UNHEALTHY AS BEING FAT IS. If you were to not eat healthful meals and not snack every now and then, no matter how healthy or unhealthy the food is, plus exercise so frequently, you would not be healthy.  Eating is good for you, even if the food isn't. Eating too little and eating too much is not healthy. Exercise is good for you. Not exercising enough and exercising too much is not good for you. If you talking to her doesn't help, try telling another adult how you feel, and maybe they can help get it through to her. Regardless of what happens, take care of yourself. Moderate how much you eat, but don't limit yourself to less than you feel you need. Exercise, but don't do something you don't want to; working out should be fun. Good luck with everything. I'm really sorry that she makes you feel so badly about this.
    reply about 7 hours
    jake495
    jake495 posted in Family Issues:
    Make sure she knows its your body not hers In a respectful way of course
    reply about 8 hours
    ThePaleWalker636
    I'm perfectly happy with myself. I'm around 5'6" and somewhere between 140-150 pounds, and I don't feel fat. But my mom is constantly telling me that I am, or, at least, that I'm going to be. She forces me to go to exercise classes because I don't like many sports, tries making me go on diets, but I don't want to. She tells me that if I continue the way I am, having an extra cookie once in a while and only eating cereal for breakfast, that I'll end up fat, and she makes sure to emphasize how horrible that is for a person to live with. She rolls her eyes and sighs whenever she sees me getting a snack, and just in general makes me feel awful for eating the things I like and for relaxing. I've told her that I don't want to do these things and that she makes me feel bad when she says things like that, but she swears it's for my own good and that I should never want to be fat, that it ruins people's lives. How should I deal with this?
    reply about 8 hours
    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    "NS12" wrote: I meet this guy at a festival and we have been talking for the whole week and my mum has noticed I keep texting someone and I know I need to tell her but I don t know how I am going to tell her, I doubt she ll get angry or anything but he lives about 4/5 hours away from me. I know I need to tell her as I don t like keeping secrets from her. I know this was a bit ago, but I truly hope that you were able to be open with your mother. If you feel as if they won't get mad at you, then chances are that your guardian will not. Honesty is the best policy, and if you feel guilt keeping a secret, then it is one you probably shouldn't be keeping.
    reply 1 day
    drowning
    I agree with @rainbowpoptart. You really shouldn't worry about relationships that much given your age. I promise, they're better things to worry about than boys and more secure romances occur later on in life anyways. But, given the situation, you shouldn't worry about either. The boy is unfaithful and so is your friend. If your best friend really valued your friendship, she would not have put it in a position that could end it. Don't waste your time on those who will not put you first just as you do for them; better people will come into your life and they are the ones who you should really worry about.
    reply 1 day