Dealing With an Eating Disorder

I'm an athlete, and I've always felt the pressure to be fit and not fat. I watched what I ate, my friends said I was probably the healthiest one out of all of them, but every once and a while, I wouldn't feel that way. The pressure to be lean and muscular sometimes got me down, to the point where I felt I had to purge - throwing up food I ate - in order to feel like I was healthy and eating the proper amounts. I knew what bulimia was when I started purging, and I thought that since I knew what it was, I could stop anytime I wanted to. That wasn't the case - it became obsessive.

After nearly six months of purging, I realized that this wasn't the way I wanted to be fit. I didn't want to be fit by throwing up what I ate, I wanted to be fit by getting out on the field and working like the other girls did. I knew I had a problem, so I went online and I found some information about bulimia. Even though I was scared - I was about to pee my pants - I talked to my parents about going to see a counselor. I went to my school counselor and I was set up with this food journal, where I wrote down what I ate, and how I felt at the end of the day. I've now gotten to the point where I don't need to write in my journal anymore. I can eat what I want, without worrying what's going to happen to me.

I still have fat days, but hey, everyone does, so I don't let them get me down. For any of you out there who had a problem like me, don't be afraid to get help! Tell someone, even though it's really hard, it shows that you're a strong, confident person, which you are inside.

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