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May 2004 Horoscopes (pg. 2)

Libra

Libra

September 23 - October 23
Lately you've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off (and that's sooo not a good look for you) trying to make everyone else happy. News flash: the world will not come to an end if you don't rush to the aid of a friend with a broken nail or (insert other silly problem here). Try thinking about yourself for a change - no one will hold it against you.

Scorpio

Scorpio

October 24 - November 22
Hey Dear Abby, it's time to cut out the advice-giving for a while cuz a piece of bad advice might come back to haunt you soon. Take a second to pull your foot out of your mouth and apologize before turning your good intentions towards your own problems.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius

November 23 - December 21
Your cheery attitude can't be stopped today - not by whiney friends, sadistic gym teachers or Mom's hot flashes (eeeww). So what's the catch? There isn't one - and the best part is that this happy-go-lucky attitude is going to hold out for the rest of the summer. Maybe this is karma paying you back for that donation you made to Oprah's Angel Network last semester.

Capricorn

Capricorn

December 22 - January 20
Ok, are you sitting down? This month you can expect to be dissed by someone you thought was a friend. Being turned on by your pal totally sucks, but the silver lining to this cloud is that at least you know who your real friends are now. You'll recover from this let-down fast, though, so turn that frown upside down and get ready for a kick butt summer with your new-and-improved posse.

Aquarius

Aquarius

January 21 - February 19
You've been getting along so well with your 'rents lately that you feel like you're on an episode of 7th Heaven - that's about to change. This month your stars spell out "communication issues" (well, not literally - they actually say something more like "kshiarnxi," but you get the point). If you try you best to be upfront with the fam, these issues will blow over fast.

Pisces

Pisces

February 20 - March 20
This month you're feeling less-than-confident and this will cause you to get a little cliquey. Ask yourself if making those snarky comments about the chubby kid in math class really makes you feel better cuz it certainly doesn't make you look any cooler to your peeps.

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Do You Believe In Horoscopes?

  • Yes - the stars know everything. I check them everyday.
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  • No way. The stars don't know anything - they're a scam.

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