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Dear Dish-It, My Family Is Falling Apart and It's My Fault


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I have a serious problem. Yesterday I got in a huge fight with my mom. She wanted me to clean out my drawers and I had plenty of time so I took my time doing it. So, five hours later I'm still not done so she goes crazy and starts trashin' my room then my dad stepped in and I got a whole lot of lecturing and I got kicked out of my room. Now all my clothes are in bags and I have to sleep in my little sis's room. To make matters worse, she found a note I wrote about me hating her whenever I do something wrong and now she can't even look at me. She says to my dad that it's either me or her that's going to leave and if she leaves my three younger sibs won't have a mother. Not to mention how bad she'll make me look to my relatives. And if I leave she'll look like a bad mother. I really love her deep down but I don't know if she feels the same way. It's like my entire world fell apart and my family's going with it. I seriously need advice on how to handle this. HELP!
shawty240


Dear shawty240,

This is one of the most confusing times in your life. You're convinced that you know what's best for you, while your parents aren't quite ready to let you make all your own decisions yet. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your mom, but I do know that everyone has showdowns with their mom at some point in their teenage life. It sounds like you were kind of mad that she was making you clean up in your room, so you took your time in getting the task done. You've probably had similar fights with your mom in the past and when she realized that after five hours you still hadn't completed the task she had given you, she was angry. She probably over-reacted, but remember that your mom is only human, so when she's angry and frustrated, she may not always be 100% rational.


Your mom was angry, but I doubt that she wants either of you to leave. What she might want is to hear that you are sorry for trying to make her life harder by fighting with her about everything she asks of you. Sit down with your mom and have a chat about the recent fights you've been having and what might make your current situation better. Your mom definitely loves you, she's just doesn't know how to communicate with you right now. Be the bigger person and initiate a nice, calm chat with her. There will probably still be conflict with the two of you in the future, but they won't be nearly as dramatic if you each know what the other is feeling. Good Luck!


Dear shawty240,
I think your mom is just trying to scare you. My mom used to do that all the time. Try to do something to tell her how sorry you are.
Kidz Submit by:
Nickname: avril_fan_2005
Age: 13


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    bookwormlestrange
    I don't have ADHD, but I know plenty about it. One of my friends has ADHD and Tourette's, and the teachers were always turds about it. Anyway, i think that a good way to deal with ADHD acting up is either changing medication or trying to eat foods or drinks with caffeine. I'm not sure if it works for you, but a lot of people with ADHD have seen significant improvements after putting caffeine in their systems. If your friends are acting like turds, you need better friends. I hope my advice helps.
    reply about 3 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    I have one so annoying sister, that it feels like I have 200 of them, oh my god. She's pounding on the door right now, HELP! 
    reply about 15 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Dad, obviously. I can't even explain what he does to me!
    reply about 15 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Well, if they are your BFFs, they shouldn't be teasing you to make you feel bad. Me, and my BFFs tease each other all the time playfully, but I understand that this is different, and if it's making you feel bad it isn't playful at all.   Maybe your eldest friend is having some trouble with family issues, bad grades, body changes, etc. It's okay to be angry, so maybe you should leave her space for a few days, and see if it turns better. If it isn't, then try to first make her calm down. Then, make her talk to you about why she is so angry and ask if you can try to help. If nothing turns out better, tell her that you feel uncomfortable, and you want her to talk to you.  For your 3rd eldest friend, support her as much as possible, and stand up for her in this terrible situation. If you are all BFFs, then you should all be very close and comfortable around each other, and the fight shouldn't last long. If not, they are not your real friends, and you have to go on without them. I have tons of advice on how to make new friends, so just ask me if you want to know. Your 2nd eldest friend seems to be the main problem.  First of all, tell her to stop, and say how you don't like her bullying you. You must say what she is doing wrong, and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care, tell her you're serious, and you hate what she is doing to you. If it continues, ignore what trash she is saying, and just simply walk away. Focus on other things that will help make you feel better. Remember, all she is is a person, and it's up to you to act appropriately.  Stay positive, and calm. Focus on other things, and if she continues, tell her that you can all be friends and you miss her. Go get another friend to stand up with you, and tell her that you will report to an adult if she won't stop. She may be your friend, but she deserves it. I told on my BFF when she was mean, so it's all okay now.  If all else fails, get a trusted adult, and hang out with nicer friends. Your other friends will learn from their mistakes. If not, warn them, and give them a sincere kindness note of how you miss being friends. Then, also give one to the bully.
    reply about 15 hours
    AnnaOfExquizurd
    Yeah, @CyclonicBass the best option really is to find a girl with a quirky personality. Become friends with her. Possibly, over time, she'll grow close to you and accept a request to be with you. Hope it goes well!
    reply 1 day