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Dear Dish-It, I Don't Want to Lose My BF or My BFF

Dear Dish-It,

My best friend likes the same boy I like. She doesn't know I like him though. But the boy likes me back so we decided to be together. I'm worried that my best friend might find out. I don't want to lose my best friend, but I don't want to lose my boyfriend either. What should I do??
mystrygrl


Dear mystrygrl,

You're in a tough situation and no matter what you do, someone's going to get hurt and it'll most likely be your best friend. If you liked the same guy she liked, you should've been honest and upfront from the beginning cuz she probably would've been a lot more understanding about the two of you hookin' up. Sure, she would've been upset that her crush likes someone else (that's you), but she would've appreciated your honesty. But now you've lost that opportunity cuz you went behind her back and started going out with this guy. I suggest you talk to your best friend ASAP and tell her what's going on. The longer you wait, the worse the situation will be cuz she'll hear it from someone else - and there's nothing worse than finding out that your BFF is going out with your crush from some random girl who sits two rows over in Spanish class.


If your best friend is an amazingly understanding and forgiving person, then she'll get over it and be happy for you. But, you should be prepared for the possibility that she may never want to speak to you again. After all, you did betray her by going out with her crush behind her back. I really hope this doesn't happen, but you need to face up to your actions and the choices you've made.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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  • 33 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    bookwormlestrange
    I don't have ADHD, but I know plenty about it. One of my friends has ADHD and Tourette's, and the teachers were always turds about it. Anyway, i think that a good way to deal with ADHD acting up is either changing medication or trying to eat foods or drinks with caffeine. I'm not sure if it works for you, but a lot of people with ADHD have seen significant improvements after putting caffeine in their systems. If your friends are acting like turds, you need better friends. I hope my advice helps.
    reply about 15 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    I have one so annoying sister, that it feels like I have 200 of them, oh my god. She's pounding on the door right now, HELP! 
    reply 1 day
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Dad, obviously. I can't even explain what he does to me!
    reply 1 day
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Well, if they are your BFFs, they shouldn't be teasing you to make you feel bad. Me, and my BFFs tease each other all the time playfully, but I understand that this is different, and if it's making you feel bad it isn't playful at all.   Maybe your eldest friend is having some trouble with family issues, bad grades, body changes, etc. It's okay to be angry, so maybe you should leave her space for a few days, and see if it turns better. If it isn't, then try to first make her calm down. Then, make her talk to you about why she is so angry and ask if you can try to help. If nothing turns out better, tell her that you feel uncomfortable, and you want her to talk to you.  For your 3rd eldest friend, support her as much as possible, and stand up for her in this terrible situation. If you are all BFFs, then you should all be very close and comfortable around each other, and the fight shouldn't last long. If not, they are not your real friends, and you have to go on without them. I have tons of advice on how to make new friends, so just ask me if you want to know. Your 2nd eldest friend seems to be the main problem.  First of all, tell her to stop, and say how you don't like her bullying you. You must say what she is doing wrong, and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care, tell her you're serious, and you hate what she is doing to you. If it continues, ignore what trash she is saying, and just simply walk away. Focus on other things that will help make you feel better. Remember, all she is is a person, and it's up to you to act appropriately.  Stay positive, and calm. Focus on other things, and if she continues, tell her that you can all be friends and you miss her. Go get another friend to stand up with you, and tell her that you will report to an adult if she won't stop. She may be your friend, but she deserves it. I told on my BFF when she was mean, so it's all okay now.  If all else fails, get a trusted adult, and hang out with nicer friends. Your other friends will learn from their mistakes. If not, warn them, and give them a sincere kindness note of how you miss being friends. Then, also give one to the bully.
    reply 1 day
    AnnaOfExquizurd
    Yeah, @CyclonicBass the best option really is to find a girl with a quirky personality. Become friends with her. Possibly, over time, she'll grow close to you and accept a request to be with you. Hope it goes well!
    reply 2 days