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The Real Deal on Real Love

Check out this scenario. Duffy and K.Lo are tight. They are in love. Duffy gets into trouble and K. Lo bails. They break-up. He is whining. She already has a new boyfriend, before he can change his name to D. Diddy. By now you must be asking yourself, what's up? I thought they were in love?!
What's up is this. Before we can talk about what real love is, let's dish about what it's not.

She loves me NOT

Real love is not based on photo opportunities. In other words, it is deep, not superficial. It is not based only on physical or sexual attraction. Real love doesn't care if your cutie has big dollars or works at Mickey D's. It is based on who you are, not what you do. Real love isn't jealous. Not being jealous is different from not caring. You care - but it's cool if someone says hi to your girl or guy. You don't have to fight to prove to the world what you got. Cuz if it's like that, it ain't real love. Ya dig???

Mom's Love

Now what is real love? Think for a second or two. Imagine someone who loves you, no matter what. They take care of you when you're sick. They feed you when you're hungry. Ya get the picture? I bet that your mom's love for you is real love. When they're getting on your case, you probably don't feel like it is love, you just wish they'd leave you alone. But your mom always has your back. Believe that.

Real love

I think that what happens is when we're little, our moms and pops who love us read us too many fairy tales. You know "happily ever-after" stuff. We think that cupid has this big arrow - and POW!! - an automatic love connection. Well ya know what, it ain't happening. Sometimes ya gotta kiss a lot of toads to find that prince or princess charming. And that's okay because we're going to look at a prescription for real love.

Love RX

  • One dash of "keeping it real". Learn from your experiences. If someone is a jerk to you or your family, lose them quickly. People don't change that much. Real love is about treating yourself and others with respect all of the time.
  • Two dashes of limits. When someone loves you, they don't cross your boundaries. For example, your body is your body. When you say no, that means no. You can and should expect the person you love to follow that. Because real love means listening to what's being said.
  • Three pinches of the Real Deal. Sunshine Anderson sings "I heard it all before, baby this.. baby that... your lies ain't working now." Sunshine is right on. Lies and real love don't go together. Real love is about truth and honesty, even if it hurts. If they're lying, kick 'em to the curb.
  • A big scoop of 'whatever'. By whatever, I mean try to keep things in the moment. Don't be bringing up the past all the time - stuff like he said, she said. Learn to enjoy your time together. If it's meant to be, it will be.
  • Mix all of the above with self-control. Slow down, love will happen for you. Know yourself and what you want and deserve from your life. Don't settle for less. Remember, the more you love yourself, the better love you can give.
    Oh - and go give your mom a hug.

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    -Oracle- posted in Friends:
    "I'm finally learning to walk away from the people and situations that threaten my happiness, peace of mind, self respect and self worth." Most kids at my school pretend to be someone they're not purely to conform with their peers. [s] [c] [r] [e] [w] conformity. 
    reply about 2 hours
    Write an anonymous note. And tell him to put it somewhere that only you can get it back to see what he says.
    reply about 9 hours
    hey, i got a question, how would you get over a major mess-up, then try to act attractive, so you would still have a chance at maybe making a relationship with your crush.
    reply about 10 hours
    Ok, so how would you tell a crush you like them without them knowing it's you?
    reply about 14 hours
    drowning posted in Friends:
    I've been there when I was still in school. I don't personally have many friends now that I'm graduated, but that's more because the people here aren't worth being friends with. Off topic, my bad- Anyways, just try being a nice person. Sit with the other kid that's alone during lunch, find someone who needs someone to talk too, be open. I realize this can be difficult to do if you're shy, believe me, I've been there as well. Just remember that you need to stay yourself. I've lost friends because they turned out to be someone totally different than how they made themselves out to be. It's not worth it to pretend you're someone else. If it doesn't happen naturally after a little while, then you just have to keep in mind that it's your turn to put yourself out there. Remember that, "hey, I put myself out there and I made a friend, that's pretty cool." But, also remember that, "hey, I put myself out there and I didn't make a friend, that's pretty okay too." If you put yourself out there and someone doesn't accept it, then that's okay. It just means they weren't meant to be your friend and someone else will come along much better for you.
    reply about 19 hours