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The Real Deal on Real Love

Janet knows stuff!
Dr. Janet Taylor
Whose name would you put in this heart?
In Love

Check out this scenario. Duffy and K.Lo are tight. They are in love. Duffy gets into trouble and K. Lo bails. They break-up. He is whining. She already has a new boyfriend, before he can change his name to D. Diddy. By now you must be asking yourself, what's up? I thought they were in love?!
What's up is this. Before we can talk about what real love is, let's dish about what it's not.

She loves me NOT

Real love is not based on photo opportunities. In other words, it is deep, not superficial. It is not based only on physical or sexual attraction. Real love doesn't care if your cutie has big dollars or works at Mickey D's. It is based on who you are, not what you do. Real love isn't jealous. Not being jealous is different from not caring. You care - but it's cool if someone says hi to your girl or guy. You don't have to fight to prove to the world what you got. Cuz if it's like that, it ain't real love. Ya dig???

Mom's Love

Now what is real love? Think for a second or two. Imagine someone who loves you, no matter what. They take care of you when you're sick. They feed you when you're hungry. Ya get the picture? I bet that your mom's love for you is real love. When they're getting on your case, you probably don't feel like it is love, you just wish they'd leave you alone. But your mom always has your back. Believe that.

Real love

I think that what happens is when we're little, our moms and pops who love us read us too many fairy tales. You know "happily ever-after" stuff. We think that cupid has this big arrow - and POW!! - an automatic love connection. Well ya know what, it ain't happening. Sometimes ya gotta kiss a lot of toads to find that prince or princess charming. And that's okay because we're going to look at a prescription for real love.

Love RX

  • One dash of "keeping it real". Learn from your experiences. If someone is a jerk to you or your family, lose them quickly. People don't change that much. Real love is about treating yourself and others with respect all of the time.
  • Two dashes of limits. When someone loves you, they don't cross your boundaries. For example, your body is your body. When you say no, that means no. You can and should expect the person you love to follow that. Because real love means listening to what's being said.
  • Three pinches of the Real Deal. Sunshine Anderson sings "I heard it all before, baby this.. baby that... your lies ain't working now." Sunshine is right on. Lies and real love don't go together. Real love is about truth and honesty, even if it hurts. If they're lying, kick 'em to the curb.
  • A big scoop of 'whatever'. By whatever, I mean try to keep things in the moment. Don't be bringing up the past all the time - stuff like he said, she said. Learn to enjoy your time together. If it's meant to be, it will be.
  • Mix all of the above with self-control. Slow down, love will happen for you. Know yourself and what you want and deserve from your life. Don't settle for less. Remember, the more you love yourself, the better love you can give.
    Oh - and go give your mom a hug.

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    Comments

    kittycatty321

    kittycatty321 wrote:

    bc its an emotion that we cant live with out if we dont have love (even if it only last...
    commented: Sat Jul 12, 2014

    'Broken;Down'

    'Broken;Down' wrote:

    ; /
    commented: Tue Nov 27, 2012

    -Richelle Here-
    ikr
    commented: Tue Nov 27, 2012

    there are 16 more comments

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    MissD
    MissD posted in Friends:
    You are welcome & Good Luck!
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    snikko posted in Friends:
    A prefect friend is a person that is always with you when you need  them.  THey have you back and they don'bully ou. They hang out with you. THey treat you as an equal. They stand up for you. And they don't laugh at your tureself.
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    GottaLoveDance posted in Friends:
    "MissD" wrote:This might seem obvious but is there anyone else you might be able to walk home with? I always try to solve problems simply first. If yes, than I encourage you to invite that person to walk home with you. If not - let's take a step back and figure our why you are feeling left out/ignored. Do your friends talk about things that you don't understand, do they block you from participating in the conversation? If you guys have to walk together and there is no choice in the matter - YOU be the initiator of great conversation. Confidently smile - and talk to BOTH of them at the same time. It's so helpful to be able to navigate a conversation generously. That means you be the one on the high road - ask questions, people love talking about things that are interesting to them. Ask questions and figure out what common things all three of you have together and before you know it your walk will be over. Hope this helps. Let us know what happens. Inclusivity totally kicks butt over exclusivity!  thank you soooo much for the amazing advice, unfortunately I don't really have a choice because my friend walks to my house where her mum picks her up so it would hurt her feelings if I said no to walking with her but ill definitely try yor suggestions in the second paragraph. Thanks
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    MissD
    MissD posted in Friends:
    This might seem obvious but is there anyone else you might be able to walk home with? I always try to solve problems simply first. If yes, than I encourage you to invite that person to walk home with you. If not - let's take a step back and figure our why you are feeling left out/ignored.  Do your friends talk about things that you don't understand, do they block you from participating in the conversation? If you guys have to walk together and there is no choice in the matter - YOU be the initiator of great conversation. Confidently smile - and talk to BOTH of them at the same time. It's so helpful to be able to navigate a conversation generously. That means you be the one on the high road - ask questions, people love talking about things that are interesting to them. Ask questions and figure out what common things all three of you have together and before you know it your walk will be over.  Hope this helps. Let us know what happens.  Inclusivity totally kicks butt over exclusivity! 
    reply about 4 hours
    GottaLoveDance
    GottaLoveDance posted in Friends:
    I have this one best friend and she is wonderful. But two of my other friends are best friends with each other and when I walk home from school with them I feel really left out and ignored. I don't want to ruin their friendship but I don't know what to do about it. Any suggestions?
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