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The Real Deal on Real Love

Check out this scenario. Duffy and K.Lo are tight. They are in love. Duffy gets into trouble and K. Lo bails. They break-up. He is whining. She already has a new boyfriend, before he can change his name to D. Diddy. By now you must be asking yourself, what's up? I thought they were in love?!
What's up is this. Before we can talk about what real love is, let's dish about what it's not.

She loves me NOT

Real love is not based on photo opportunities. In other words, it is deep, not superficial. It is not based only on physical or sexual attraction. Real love doesn't care if your cutie has big dollars or works at Mickey D's. It is based on who you are, not what you do. Real love isn't jealous. Not being jealous is different from not caring. You care - but it's cool if someone says hi to your girl or guy. You don't have to fight to prove to the world what you got. Cuz if it's like that, it ain't real love. Ya dig???

Mom's Love

Now what is real love? Think for a second or two. Imagine someone who loves you, no matter what. They take care of you when you're sick. They feed you when you're hungry. Ya get the picture? I bet that your mom's love for you is real love. When they're getting on your case, you probably don't feel like it is love, you just wish they'd leave you alone. But your mom always has your back. Believe that.

Real love

I think that what happens is when we're little, our moms and pops who love us read us too many fairy tales. You know "happily ever-after" stuff. We think that cupid has this big arrow - and POW!! - an automatic love connection. Well ya know what, it ain't happening. Sometimes ya gotta kiss a lot of toads to find that prince or princess charming. And that's okay because we're going to look at a prescription for real love.

Love RX

  • One dash of "keeping it real". Learn from your experiences. If someone is a jerk to you or your family, lose them quickly. People don't change that much. Real love is about treating yourself and others with respect all of the time.
  • Two dashes of limits. When someone loves you, they don't cross your boundaries. For example, your body is your body. When you say no, that means no. You can and should expect the person you love to follow that. Because real love means listening to what's being said.
  • Three pinches of the Real Deal. Sunshine Anderson sings "I heard it all before, baby this.. baby that... your lies ain't working now." Sunshine is right on. Lies and real love don't go together. Real love is about truth and honesty, even if it hurts. If they're lying, kick 'em to the curb.
  • A big scoop of 'whatever'. By whatever, I mean try to keep things in the moment. Don't be bringing up the past all the time - stuff like he said, she said. Learn to enjoy your time together. If it's meant to be, it will be.
  • Mix all of the above with self-control. Slow down, love will happen for you. Know yourself and what you want and deserve from your life. Don't settle for less. Remember, the more you love yourself, the better love you can give.
    Oh - and go give your mom a hug.

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  • 18 Comments

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    • Yes - I totally love Zac Efron (and Chris Brown and Justin Timberlake... you get the picture).

    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    CoolAsalah
    my grandma passed away 2 months ago. I cant stop crying. i miss her so badl.everything reminds me of her.she was so sweet ad loving. how can i stop crying/thinking about her??
    reply 1 day
    AVENGERSASSEMBLE
    I hardly ever get to see my bff anymore and she lives less than 5 mins up the road :( :( :(
    reply 1 day
    guppiGirl443
     [s:p/1s1e] :thumbsup :angel Hey people its lssy, i have been struggling with helping my best friends with there parents that are violently fitting and where just lost and so confused . im trying so hard to keep up everybody's mood up .i just want them to be positive even though its hard i want them to realize that there are pros and cons to this . so all people out there maybe going through things like this just know there are a billion kids like u out there so when we grow up lets be nothing like our parents, lets be there better version, lets be our better version.! PS: what are somethings i can do to help them out????
    reply 3 days
    orlibird
    I totally feel the same way. The one guy I thought was interested friend-zoned me, so I've been kind of closed to relationships. One thing I've learned is not to jump into a relationship just because everyone else is. Just think, in 20 years they'll have all these bad memories of their many relationships, and you'll learn from their mistakes. Wanting to be in a relationship doesn't make you desperate either. You just feel a little left out. Trust me, I've been there. Don't feel alone. Being single, well, sucks, but don't worry, we've got your back, and I just know there's someone out there waiting to meet you.
    reply 4 days
    orlibird
    orlibird posted in Family Issues:
    Hi everyone! I'm starting at a new school next year and I'm wondering if you have any tips. The thing is, it's my first ever year at a public school. I'm joining the 8th grade, so I'm so scared that everyone already knows eachother and I won't make any friends... :( If you have ANY advice or tips, I'd really appreciate it!
    reply 4 days