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The Real Deal on Real Love

Check out this scenario. Duffy and K.Lo are tight. They are in love. Duffy gets into trouble and K. Lo bails. They break-up. He is whining. She already has a new boyfriend, before he can change his name to D. Diddy. By now you must be asking yourself, what's up? I thought they were in love?!
What's up is this. Before we can talk about what real love is, let's dish about what it's not.

She loves me NOT

Real love is not based on photo opportunities. In other words, it is deep, not superficial. It is not based only on physical or sexual attraction. Real love doesn't care if your cutie has big dollars or works at Mickey D's. It is based on who you are, not what you do. Real love isn't jealous. Not being jealous is different from not caring. You care - but it's cool if someone says hi to your girl or guy. You don't have to fight to prove to the world what you got. Cuz if it's like that, it ain't real love. Ya dig???

Mom's Love

Now what is real love? Think for a second or two. Imagine someone who loves you, no matter what. They take care of you when you're sick. They feed you when you're hungry. Ya get the picture? I bet that your mom's love for you is real love. When they're getting on your case, you probably don't feel like it is love, you just wish they'd leave you alone. But your mom always has your back. Believe that.

Real love

I think that what happens is when we're little, our moms and pops who love us read us too many fairy tales. You know "happily ever-after" stuff. We think that cupid has this big arrow - and POW!! - an automatic love connection. Well ya know what, it ain't happening. Sometimes ya gotta kiss a lot of toads to find that prince or princess charming. And that's okay because we're going to look at a prescription for real love.

Love RX

  • One dash of "keeping it real". Learn from your experiences. If someone is a jerk to you or your family, lose them quickly. People don't change that much. Real love is about treating yourself and others with respect all of the time.
  • Two dashes of limits. When someone loves you, they don't cross your boundaries. For example, your body is your body. When you say no, that means no. You can and should expect the person you love to follow that. Because real love means listening to what's being said.
  • Three pinches of the Real Deal. Sunshine Anderson sings "I heard it all before, baby this.. baby that... your lies ain't working now." Sunshine is right on. Lies and real love don't go together. Real love is about truth and honesty, even if it hurts. If they're lying, kick 'em to the curb.
  • A big scoop of 'whatever'. By whatever, I mean try to keep things in the moment. Don't be bringing up the past all the time - stuff like he said, she said. Learn to enjoy your time together. If it's meant to be, it will be.
  • Mix all of the above with self-control. Slow down, love will happen for you. Know yourself and what you want and deserve from your life. Don't settle for less. Remember, the more you love yourself, the better love you can give.
    Oh - and go give your mom a hug.

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  • 16 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    moongemowl
    moongemowl posted in Friends:
    Okay, I've NEVER posted anything about my friends before, so bear with me. I've known that me and my BFF have the same crush since we met in 5th grade. But it always seems that my BFF is closer to him than I'll ever be. They went to 2 school dances together while I'm still in the friend zone with my crush. I pretend to not care but I really do care. I've never been in this situation before and don't know what to do about it. Should I tell my BFF how I feel or wait this whole thing out? Or even forget my crush being my crush and find a new crush? HELP!!!!!   :love :confused
    reply 43 minutes
    jordand08
    Maybe that's the only line that needs to be said? You don't have to write down a whole paragraph explaining about how you feel. Sometimes, one word or one sentence can be enough. :p but I don't know. Maybe I have no clue what I'm talking about. :p
    reply about 1 hour
    jordand08
    You'll have to remember, your parents love you, with that being said. If you feel like you can talk to them and they're reasonable, go ahead. But if you feel like waiting it's up to you. I think your family will support you, because they do love you. Maybe they'll be upset at first, but they'll come around, everyone does eventually. Is there anyone in your family that knows, like a cousin? Maybe you can ask for their opinion if you should tell your parents, and family. However, it's up to you. and remember, your parents care and love you.
    reply about 1 hour
    hugebear
    hugebear posted in Family Issues:
    You doesnt have to come out to your family until your ready and until they is ready too.  If you blurt it out it could be the shock.  You says that you think your Mums side of the family will be more supportive.  Has you got an Aunty or Uncle what you could discuss this with?  An adult member of your family what is most likely supportive  could probably give the best advises on how to tell your family and when and how and prepares you for how they will react. Good luck mate and takes your time :angel
    reply about 7 hours
    Mrawsomegamer
    I think my mothers side of the family would be fine with it. It's my dad's side I'm most concerned about. My dad says some dreadfully terrible remarks about homosexual people. I think I'm not gunna tell him at all. Ever...  Either way. Thanks for the advice!
    reply about 7 hours

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