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The Real Deal on Real Love

Check out this scenario. Duffy and K.Lo are tight. They are in love. Duffy gets into trouble and K. Lo bails. They break-up. He is whining. She already has a new boyfriend, before he can change his name to D. Diddy. By now you must be asking yourself, what's up? I thought they were in love?!
What's up is this. Before we can talk about what real love is, let's dish about what it's not.

She loves me NOT

Real love is not based on photo opportunities. In other words, it is deep, not superficial. It is not based only on physical or sexual attraction. Real love doesn't care if your cutie has big dollars or works at Mickey D's. It is based on who you are, not what you do. Real love isn't jealous. Not being jealous is different from not caring. You care - but it's cool if someone says hi to your girl or guy. You don't have to fight to prove to the world what you got. Cuz if it's like that, it ain't real love. Ya dig???

Mom's Love

Now what is real love? Think for a second or two. Imagine someone who loves you, no matter what. They take care of you when you're sick. They feed you when you're hungry. Ya get the picture? I bet that your mom's love for you is real love. When they're getting on your case, you probably don't feel like it is love, you just wish they'd leave you alone. But your mom always has your back. Believe that.

Real love

I think that what happens is when we're little, our moms and pops who love us read us too many fairy tales. You know "happily ever-after" stuff. We think that cupid has this big arrow - and POW!! - an automatic love connection. Well ya know what, it ain't happening. Sometimes ya gotta kiss a lot of toads to find that prince or princess charming. And that's okay because we're going to look at a prescription for real love.

Love RX

  • One dash of "keeping it real". Learn from your experiences. If someone is a jerk to you or your family, lose them quickly. People don't change that much. Real love is about treating yourself and others with respect all of the time.
  • Two dashes of limits. When someone loves you, they don't cross your boundaries. For example, your body is your body. When you say no, that means no. You can and should expect the person you love to follow that. Because real love means listening to what's being said.
  • Three pinches of the Real Deal. Sunshine Anderson sings "I heard it all before, baby this.. baby that... your lies ain't working now." Sunshine is right on. Lies and real love don't go together. Real love is about truth and honesty, even if it hurts. If they're lying, kick 'em to the curb.
  • A big scoop of 'whatever'. By whatever, I mean try to keep things in the moment. Don't be bringing up the past all the time - stuff like he said, she said. Learn to enjoy your time together. If it's meant to be, it will be.
  • Mix all of the above with self-control. Slow down, love will happen for you. Know yourself and what you want and deserve from your life. Don't settle for less. Remember, the more you love yourself, the better love you can give.
    Oh - and go give your mom a hug.

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  • 18 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    lordoflego
    i also had a friend how is a girl, she liked me and all i had to was ask her out! now we are dating. :)
    reply 1 day
    Cutepandicorn
    Umm...If she is the kind of girl that likes to talk a lot and tells everybody what is going on then the whole school will know when she finds out you like her.  I say who cares if the whole school knows you like her.  I like it if a boy tells me he likes me and ask me out.  I don't like boys trying to be sneaky coz they stink at it and end up looking stupid.  If you want to be sneaky about it you can ask her if she can help you with your homework or ask her if she wants to hang with you and your friends at the mall or you can look at her and smile and see if she smiles back at you.
    reply 1 day
    Jojo132
    well, as a girl i know that i like it when boys are up front with there feelings. girls like to know that they can trust you to tell them the truth no matter who's watching you.  that may show that you really do like her. if you need to do it privately, then mabey if you do any after school activities and she does then ask her then. jojo(: 
    reply 2 days
    Epicryan2
    How would I ask her if she likes me without the entire school knowing? I like her too. Please answer I want to know by today
    reply 2 days
    zoomzoomkitty
    zoomzoomkitty posted in Style:
    Erm, my casual clothes are black and grey. 
    reply 2 days