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A Gaurdian for Good :)
A Guardian for Good
“When you lose all sense of hope, you lose all sense of your heart.”
Have you ever felt so lost and hopeless, but still try to keep faith in yourself to keep moving forward? Hope can be lost if you feel hurt, or depressed; the only way you can overcome your times of depression is by becoming more stronger and confident to keep going on. My childhood is where sadness brought me something I never thought I would need; hope.
My earliest childhood recollection of my mom began when I was about five or six years of age; a year or two before I was put into child protective services. Life in a foster home wasn’t pleasant at all, mainly because I didn’t understand why I was there. I was mostly in trouble which meant I was constantly in the corner. I sometimes wouldn’t even eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner which led to forceful eating. The only time I was ever cheerful was on my fifth birthday when I received presents on my birthday from someone very special, my grandpa, he had sent me a CAT remote control bulldozer, children books, and some coloring books. I was as happy as a poor boy finding 25 cents on a sidewalk almost like the boy off of “Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory”. I was really sad after though mainly because I couldn’t contact my grandpa and thank him. A few months’ later things would change, and it all started with a long ride.
A couple months later we went on a long ride. The long ride ended shortly after getting off a highway and pulling into a Kroger parking lot. I soon would find out why we were here, and it wasn’t to pick up groceries.
A little while after have parked I then saw a car pull up next to the van. Out came a woman walked up to the car and talked to my foster parent for a few minutes. As I watching they both stopped talking and looked at me opened the door, then suddenly the woman picked me up and gave me hug. She then said, “I missed you so much.”
I began crying loudly not knowing why she was holding me (and doing other things kids normally do). Before I stopped crying I was told the woman holding me was my mom. I hadn’t seen my mom in so long I hadn’t remembered her at all.
After the fast reunion, we headed out as soon as possible. On our way I wasn’t paying attention at all because I was mostly sleeping from the long ride to Flint, when I woke up a while later I found we had just gotten off a highway, and were driving through a very rugged torn down town, with graffiti everywhere, and even burnt down houses. Minutes later we pulled down a street called Oklahoma. Lastly, we pulled into a drive way to what looked like a tiny lime green house that looked to be a little crooked, and with steps that looked partly broken. I stepped out of the car and immediately felt like questioning why we were here. I then followed my mom towards the house, as she opened the door which creaked loudly. As soon as I walked in the house I began to observe my surroundings. The first things that had caught my eye were the walls, and floors. The walls were worn down to where you could see the paint peeling, and even some holes like someone had punched the walls. The floors were really rough and looked ugly with a color that looked like diarrhea. The last thing I had noticed was a dark/spooky room that I didn’t even bother going down. My mom then called me from a room in the front of the house. I walked in the room and saw blue walls, green carpet, a red bed post with a brand new bed and sheet set, a dresser, with new clothes in it, and I then immediately saw a toy which was one of my favorite characters Buzz Light-Year, and also the captain hooks complete boat set. After investigating I jumped on my bed. Mom said “Do you like your new room?”
I said “No mom, I love it!”
Every day since then I would never let my mom out of my site because I was afraid she would’ve left me again.
About a year and half passed since I had been living with my mom. Things started getting worst, it all started with my mom and her boyfriend being unable to pay the bills, only able to supply barely any food, and they’ve been inviting there friends to live in the basement of the house. Other things were caused by their friends that had a major impact on my life and health; I was affected mostly because drugs, alcohol, and domestic violence were involved. Since then their friends have been influencing bad actions on everyone my mom, her boyfriend, and even me.
They started by influencing my mom and her boyfriend by bribing her to let more people stay live in the already full house, and sometimes even violence. They also influenced me a great deal by forcefully making me drink bitter tasting alcohol. I use this predicament as a good future reference if I am ever influenced to do so again.
Other things even occasionally happened too, such as one occasion involving me walking down the street with Girl Scout chocolate mint cookies as I was eating them. Next thing I know an indigo colored van pulls up next to the sidewalk and a chubby, dirty looking man starts talking to me like he was in a rush. Not paying hardly any attention to what he was saying I, I then asked him if he wanted a Girl Scout cookie, he blatantly said no. Digging for another Girl Scout cookie I was suddenly picked up really fast, I screamed for help, seconds later a neighbor down the street came out with a shotgun and told the guy to put me down. The guy fled as quickly as possible.
Two days later my grandpa realized situation much enough to take initiative to try and get things together again. He did he paid all the late bills, bought food, and forcefully made all friends leave the house when doing so, a very angry individual pulled out a gun and regretted soon after my uncle and grandpa had taken of him and the weapon.
After all was taken care, weeks later it all occurred again. Soon realizing all these problems were never going to end, my grandpa moved us out of Downtown Flint. Into a better side of Flint on a street named South Garden Street.
Life was a little better now that we were out of all the reoccurring problems. But it didn’t mean all problems were solved, some problems still occurred such as problems paying bills, and supplying food. Most of the time we relied on child support which was five hundred dollars a month. That child support didn’t really get used for its intent most of the time. My mom would normally spend it on things from the mall like jewelry, make-up, or even for dates with her boyfriends. After using the child support check, she would pawn items that had value. Like my sisters necklace which was a birthday present from my grandma. These problems occurred for about four to five months before everything started changing for the good of everyone.
It was February of 2003; my sister and I were home alone with no electricity, and no food. It’s been a couple of days since we’ve seen our mom. My sister and I have been sleeping most of the time covered with one big blanket, with nothing else to do, starving, and cold. We felt so lost and hopeless; we only had each other. As we felt hopeless something happened that would change everything.
It was about four days after we had been left alone; a knock came to the door. Startled, I walked slowly, tired and weak, and tried opening the door with my frozen fingers. I opened the door to the sight of my grandma.
Months later my grandma gained custody of me and my sister. We moved in with my grandmas’ sister and brother in Clarkston, Michigan. Everyday my life changed living with my grandma. As time passed I became able to tie my shoes, and was fully potty trained, didn’t wet the bed anymore, and learned how to ride my first bike. Life became something worth living through everyday all because of one thing my grandma. Ever since I was eight years old my life could’ve never been better.
I think of my time with my mom as a memory both to dread, and to learn from. If my grandma would have never rescued us from our nightmare my sister and I probably would not even be where we are today. My grandma is my guardian and always will be.
During my childhood I didn’t have much hope. To me there was no such thing as winning the million dollar lottery, or even getting a toy that every child had that I didn’t. I think otherwise today. Hope was the only good thing from Pandora’s Box that could bring us from all the treachery of the bad times of life. Hope is what brought me from my treacherous times. Hope is what can bring you from yours.