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The White Beauty, Long Locks, and Red Cloak{A story written by Jalyn}

Posted By:
Jalynluv
Jalynluv
Member since:
January, 2013
Star
Status: Offline
Posts: 4
 
~Chapter one~
                     
 I long to be free. I wish I could see how the world is. I need to leave, but that’s never going to happen.
 
      I turn to my art wall, where I feel at home. Art is my passion, and it’s the only thing that speaks to me. I go to my drawer that holds all my art supplies. I need new paintbrushes. The others are bent, broken, or useless. I take a look around my small room. I look at the purple chipping paint on my walls, my shelf full of books big and small, and the designs of flowers on the ceiling. I walk to the window of my bedroom. I see beautiful birds in the blue sky filled with white, puffy clouds. I sit down on my hard bed and went under the pink and white, soft sheets to take a short little nap. Then I was awakened by a loud voice, “Rapunzel let down your hair!” I grunted and removed the sheets from my body, I quickly threw down my soft, silky, blonde hair. As my mother climbed up, she yelped. A thorn got in her wrinkly fingers. When she got to the top of the tower and jumped inside,she put her boney hands on my shoulders, ”Rapunzel, I’ll be back in three days time, but along my trip, I’ll get you a new set of paintbrushes.” I nodded and hugged her. She went down my hair, and blew me kisses. 
 
       Dusk was coming quickly, and I walked around the old, grey, and solitary tower. I went into the kitchen, filled with pastries of all sorts, fruits, and many soups.  I walked slowly pass a strange wall I never even thought about. I went back to observe it. It was very soft and felt like silk. It was painted green, blue, pink, and many more colors I can’t explain. I put my hand on it, my hand was gone. It somehow went through the strange wall.
       
       I felt a breeze caress my hand. I felt chills going down my spine. I felt something small crawl on my fingers, I quickly pulled it out. A small butterfly was slowly flapping its wings on my finger. I heard a scream. It was coming from the wall painted in pastel colors. I put my hand in once more, and a strong, calloused hand grabbed me inside the mystical wall.[/SIZE][/FONT]
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Thank you for taking time to read my story. This is my first story I ever wrote that will be continuing. I am working really hard to become a better writer. (Im terrible) I'll try to post a chapter when ever I'm able to.Please feel free to give me feedback.Thanks again!
~Jalyn


The White Beauty, Long Locks, and Red Cloak{A story written by Jalyn}

Posted By:
russell2311
russell2311
Member since:
February, 2013
Star
Status: Offline
Posts: 1
Brilliant story, wish I could write a story! I`m better at illustrating though. smile

MR : O


The White Beauty, Long Locks, and Red Cloak{A story written by Jalyn}

Posted By:
gymnast1407
gymnast1407
Member since:
February, 2013
Star
Status: Offline
Posts: 9
Great story!!!!! that was awesome!!!!!! smile

: )


The White Beauty, Long Locks, and Red Cloak{A story written by Jalyn}

Posted By:
Jalynluv
Jalynluv
Member since:
January, 2013
Star
Status: Offline
Posts: 4
 
__________________
~Chapter 2~
 
“What are you doing here?” said a man dressed in brown,
“You must leave this instant, bad things are happening!” 
My face was completely confused, “I apologize, but I’ll leave right now.” I turn back, but nothing was there for me to go in. 
There was only the green, grassy hills high above, the blossoming flowers dancing with the wind, and the blue sky inviting the birds to visit him.
The man crossed his muscular arms around his chest, “What are you waiting for?”
I turned back at him, my long braid following my every move, “I can’t leave.” “What do you mean you can’t leave?” asked the frustrated man.
He raised his long, strong arm at me.
I quickly reacted and ran as quick as I could.
“Wait, where are you going?” said the man waving his arms.
 
I didn’t look back. I just kept on running. As I was running, the world seemed to change. The blue sky was now a dark, dreary sheet in the air, the flowers were now dead, everything was gloomy and dark. The darkness was preparing to swallow me. My hair got stuck in branches, and feet were so tired and sore. My light pink dress that had a sheer white layer over it was now being torn apart. I stopped at a tree in the woods. An arrow shot right next to me in the tree stump. I screamed. A tall skinny girl with a beautiful, pale flawless face, and hair so fine that was jet black walked towards me, “I’m sorry about that.” “I gave her hand gesture that meant it’s fine. She sat right next to me. She wore a black and brown thief outfit." Who are you, and what are you doing in this terrible world?” She asked. “I went through a wall.” I said quietly. Her face was confused, “Okay, well I’m Snow, Snow White.” I shook her hand, “I’m Rapunzel.” “Nice to meet you Rapunzel.” she gave a grin at me. Snow put down her sack of arrows and her finely made bow.
 
“Where’s your prince charming?” I asked. She closed her eyes and sighed, “He was taken away.” “I’m so sorry for asking,” I said, “If it’s okay with you, what happened?” “Well, it was on our wedding day, I was in a beautiful laced dress, and he was in his blue and white suit, his face and I was filled with joy and dripping with tears, right when I was about to say the two magical words, Castin showed up, she waved her wand, and my soon to be husband was gone.” Snow's face was dripping with tears, “She told me that I would never be able to see him again until I was old.” I hugged her tightly, “I really am sorry, but does Castin live here?” Snow nodded, “She’s turning the land into something terrible, she’s torturing the villagers, and she’s giving herself joy.” 
 
“Someone has to stop her.” Snow said angrily.
 
The man who pulled me in, was just a few feet away from us. He ran quickly in our direction, “Please, I didn’t mean to hurt you!” I stood up, but Snow’s hand grabbed me, “It’s okay, he’s my friend, Robin. I calmed down and sat back down. “You must leave,” said the man, “It isn’t safe here, the witch will only become stronger, and when she does, she rule the land and take the king's place." 
 
The sky was turning even darker. “She’s getting stronger, we must leave,” Robin said looking up. I was becoming scared and nervous. “I think I should go,” I said standing up. They tried to reach for me, but I was too far away for them."You can't leave, you're not safe out there by yourself!" Yelled Snow. I ran again, farther into the woods. Then I saw someone in a red cloak.I walked near the figure. I gently tapped their shoulder.
 
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I hope you enjoyed the second chapter! 
 
 
 


The White Beauty, Long Locks, and Red Cloak{A story written by Jalyn}

Posted By:
Jalynluv
Jalynluv
Member since:
January, 2013
Star
Status: Offline
Posts: 4
 
~Chapter 3~
 
 
A young girl with beautiful grey eyes, and face that sparkles in the moonlight stood in front of me. She looked right into my blue eyes and gave me a smile, "What brings you here in the woods at this time of day?" She carefully examined my face, and her eyes lit up. "Um, I was just strolling around," I said out of breath. She gave me a look, "I doubt that, anyways, my name is Red Riding Hood, but feel free to call me Red." I smiled, "My name is Rapunzel, just Rapunzel." I waved at her and walked in the other direction. "Where are you going?" she asked in a strange voice, "I'll be happy to take you in for the night." I stopped and took a deep breath, and my flowing dress twirled as I turned around, "That would be great." She nodded and gave me a signal to follow her. I walked behind her. She held a basket that was black. She held it very tight. 
 
 
She stopped at a small cottage. It was so dark I fell several times. She opened the wooden door to reveal a room. As we walk, the wooden floor creeked, I was very tired and exhausted. "Here Rapunzel, here's a bowl of hot vegetable soup," she handed me a small white glass bowl. "Thank you very much for the food and giving me a place to stay, you're too kind." I said as I blew the steamy soup on the spoon. She flashed a warming smile at me, "Oh, it's the least I could do, now go to sleep, you seem very tired and fatigue." I nodded and gave her the bowl and went under the soft knitted blanket. She left the room to goto her own bedroom. I moved around on the brown, soft couch. I heard howls of wolves, the wind speaking to the dark skies, and the sound of mother's voice in my head. Mother! Oh no! I completely forgot about Mother. I took lots of deep breaths. She'll be back in just two days. She's going to be so crushed and worried. Wait, it all makes sense. This is all just a dream. I'll wake up tomorrow in my hard little bed and everything will be fine. I took a deep breath again. I gently closed my eyes and felt Sandman softly sprinkle his magic dust on my eyes. 
 
I awakened to the sound of Red packing things in her basket and holding a mirror in her hand. I pretended I was still asleep. "Mirror Mirror in my hand, who will rule this terrible land?" she asked the mirror. "Dear Red, we shall not know quite yet, but you will soon see i bet," said the man in the mirror. This was very bizarre. Red grunted and took out a locket. She carefully opened it. A word was about to come out of her red lips, but then I felt a tickle in my nose, "Achoo!# "Morning Rapunzel, slept well?" asked Red quickly as she turned around. I nodded. "Well, I'm going out to do some business, so I think you're on your own for now darling." Red put on her cape. I stood up and opened the wooden door. A breeze blew against my forehead. She waved at me as I closed the door. I walked into the ugly and dark woods again.
 
There I saw Snow and Robin. "Aha, found you you little scamp," Robin pointed at me. "Please don't leave again, and are you alright?" asked Snow. I nodded rubbing my soft hair. "Come on, we must leave." said Robin scratching his scalp full of brown hair. 
 
We walked together in the woods until we got to a beautiful, glistening river. "This is the Mystical River, you can see anything you can imagine, from the past future or present." Snow explained. "We must keep on moving though or we'll be out of time." said Robin.
 
I thought about Red. 
 
"I'll catch up with you guys later." I went near the river. I closed my eyes, "Let me see Red Riding Hood." A girl dressed in red and black appeared talking to a locket. "Did you get her hair yet?" said a raspy voice. "Not yet, but I'll invite her to my house again." said Red. "You better, come by my lair and I'll give you a potion that will help just in case." the raspy voice spoke again. Red and the locket was now fading. 
 
I was in complete shock. How could she, and I thought she was my friend. My arms thrusted as I stomped my feet own the dusty dirt. I quickly rejoined with Snow and Robin. We then stopped. My face full of fury. I saw a person that
 betrayed me, Red stood right in front of us. 
 
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Hope you enjoyed the third chapter c:


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