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Posted By:
esergio
esergio
Member since:
December, 2010
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 600
         Hello there, my name's Ethan. If you know who I am, you know that I come on here like every two weeks or so and write a really long blog about what I need to get off my chest. Well, today is one of those days. So I would like to tell my story about homosexuality, how I became who I am today. 
     I grew up in a small town. I was the cutest little boy. I remember as far back as three or four having crushes on little boys. As far back as I can remember. I didn't know I was different, I thought it was natural for me to like boys. I thought you could like anyone you wanted.
     But as I got older, (living in a religious community didn't help) I realized that people didn't like it. The media, my surroundings, society, everything brainwashed me to believe I was a disgrace. So right now I am about six or seven say. I wanted to be just like my big brother, and I knew I needed to like girls. So I did. I forced myself to believing that's what I wanted. I really had myself convinced that's what I wanted for a little while. About two years (kindergarten to part of first grade).   
     Now, moving forward to when I was about in the second grade. I had a crush on this boy, Gabe. He was really short, muscular, bleach blonde hair, with a face that always smiled. I knew then and there that this thing for guys, was not going away. So I just tried to hide it. Which, at the time, was easy.  I played football, and basketball, and soccer, so I seemed like a normal little boy. I had a girlfriend who I dated (and had been for the past two years), and went on dates with. I seemed completely normal. 
     Then I started third grade. This is when it started to go down hill. I know I was young, but it was bad. I got chubbier, I honestly don't know why, but I got FAT. I became socially awkward and didn't know how to talk to people. I became creepy. I was the weird kid who just sat in the corner. So, clearly I got picked on a lot. I started to become very flamboyant. I started became comfortable with who I was. I had no friends at all. I would seriously go home and cry myself to sleep.


It's been nine months, but I'm back, baby.


Posted By:
Theocrat Lock
Theocrat
Member since:
November, 2011
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 279
wow nice blog dude :^^^^)

r8'd comment & subscribed ;o)

i am neurotic and totally illogical


Posted By:
TearsInTheRain Lock
TearsInTheRain
Member since:
May, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 849
Quite a story. 

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain...


Posted By:
saveyou
saveyou
Member since:
December, 2012
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 1280
Sorry, but TL;DR
I'll read later.


Quotes!
SPOILER


Posted By:
NachozRule Lock
NachozRule
Member since:
March, 2010
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 8285

"Theocrat" wrote:

wow nice blog dude :^^^^)


r8'd comment & subscribed ;o)
flagged for spam 

H3H3H3H3 >:]


Posted By:
dances with wolves
dances with wolves
Member since:
December, 2012
StarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 20
#1. i know how it is 

directioner101


Posted By:
Betzy123
Betzy123
Member since:
November, 2012
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 3071
This is so sad omg ;~; 



Posted By:
TheoryofMind
TheoryofMind
Member since:
May, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 292

"NachozRule" wrote:



"Theocrat" wrote:


wow nice blog dude :^^^^)



r8'd comment & subscribed ;o)
flagged for spam 

How rude. Spm shundt b flaqqed. 


Posted By:
TheoryofMind
TheoryofMind
Member since:
May, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 292
That's an interesting story.


Posted By:
esergio
esergio
Member since:
December, 2010
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 600
Thanks guys, it means a lot. I'm also going to be writing letters (like they'd be sent to my ex's) but not really send them, and post them on here, to help get some emotions off.


It's been nine months, but I'm back, baby.


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