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Posted By:
esergio
esergio
Member since:
December, 2010
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 601
         Hello there, my name's Ethan. If you know who I am, you know that I come on here like every two weeks or so and write a really long blog about what I need to get off my chest. Well, today is one of those days. So I would like to tell my story about homosexuality, how I became who I am today. 
     I grew up in a small town. I was the cutest little boy. I remember as far back as three or four having crushes on little boys. As far back as I can remember. I didn't know I was different, I thought it was natural for me to like boys. I thought you could like anyone you wanted.
     But as I got older, (living in a religious community didn't help) I realized that people didn't like it. The media, my surroundings, society, everything brainwashed me to believe I was a disgrace. So right now I am about six or seven say. I wanted to be just like my big brother, and I knew I needed to like girls. So I did. I forced myself to believing that's what I wanted. I really had myself convinced that's what I wanted for a little while. About two years (kindergarten to part of first grade).   
     Now, moving forward to when I was about in the second grade. I had a crush on this boy, Gabe. He was really short, muscular, bleach blonde hair, with a face that always smiled. I knew then and there that this thing for guys, was not going away. So I just tried to hide it. Which, at the time, was easy.  I played football, and basketball, and soccer, so I seemed like a normal little boy. I had a girlfriend who I dated (and had been for the past two years), and went on dates with. I seemed completely normal. 
     Then I started third grade. This is when it started to go down hill. I know I was young, but it was bad. I got chubbier, I honestly don't know why, but I got FAT. I became socially awkward and didn't know how to talk to people. I became creepy. I was the weird kid who just sat in the corner. So, clearly I got picked on a lot. I started to become very flamboyant. I started became comfortable with who I was. I had no friends at all. I would seriously go home and cry myself to sleep.


Posted By:
Theocrat Lock
Theocrat
Member since:
November, 2011
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 279
wow nice blog dude :^^^^)

r8'd comment & subscribed ;o)

i am neurotic and totally illogical


Posted By:
TearsInTheRain Lock
TearsInTheRain
Member since:
May, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 849
Quite a story. 

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain...


Posted By:
saveyou
saveyou
Member since:
December, 2012
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 1280
Sorry, but TL;DR
I'll read later.


Quotes!
SPOILER


Posted By:
NachozRule Lock
NachozRule
Member since:
March, 2010
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 8285

"Theocrat" wrote:

wow nice blog dude :^^^^)


r8'd comment & subscribed ;o)
flagged for spam 

H3H3H3H3 >:]


Posted By:
dances with wolves
dances with wolves
Member since:
December, 2012
StarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 20
#1. i know how it is 

directioner101


Posted By:
Betzy123
Betzy123
Member since:
November, 2012
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 3071
This is so sad omg ;~; 



Posted By:
TheoryofMind
TheoryofMind
Member since:
May, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 292

"NachozRule" wrote:



"Theocrat" wrote:


wow nice blog dude :^^^^)



r8'd comment & subscribed ;o)
flagged for spam 

How rude. Spm shundt b flaqqed. 


Posted By:
TheoryofMind
TheoryofMind
Member since:
May, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 292
That's an interesting story.


Posted By:
esergio
esergio
Member since:
December, 2010
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 601
Thanks guys, it means a lot. I'm also going to be writing letters (like they'd be sent to my ex's) but not really send them, and post them on here, to help get some emotions off.


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