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Posted almost 4 years ago

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Dear Dish It,
Ok so I'm adopted and my adopted father is my real mom's brother (do you follow?) anyway 2 years ago my dad was cheating on my mom for the fifth time in 24 years of marriage. My mom found out and told me and then when they split my dad decided to still go out with his girlfriend Colleen. Colleen has 3 daughters ages 24, 20, 18. Ashley the 18 year old lives with them and very much like her mom hates me. I didn't start out hating Colleen or any of them until I relized that Colleen was the one who persuaded my dad to move 500 miles away and that she had taken my dad away from me and that she had destoryed my life forever. I don't know my real dad and im not sure i ever will want to and now that I've lost both dads well I've mannaged to keep going but it hurts knowing that niether of my dads wanted me. I also have a 18 year old brother and he's not exactly supporting. I've been depressed for years now and this divorce has made it worse. And the icing on the cake is every one is telling me to grow up and get over it, cry me a river build a bridge and get over it, or its in the past so leave it there. They are all expecting me to just forgive my dad and his new fiancee  (meaning just got engaged 2 months ago) and move on and they are also expecting me to go to the wedding and be a stupid maid of honor. HELP what do I do? 


Posted almost 4 years ago

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Posts: 10

4get ur dad!  i wouldn't want 2 go to his wedding


Posted almost 4 years ago

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"emilyloveslucky" wrote:


Dear Dish It,



Ok so I'm adopted and my adopted father is my real mom's brother (do you follow?) anyway 2 years ago my dad was cheating on my mom for the fifth time in 24 years of marriage. My mom found out and told me and then when they split my dad decided to still go out with his girlfriend Colleen. Colleen has 3 daughters ages 24, 20, 18. Ashley the 18 year old lives with them and very much like her mom hates me. I didn't start out hating Colleen or any of them until I relized that Colleen was the one who persuaded my dad to move 500 miles away and that she had taken my dad away from me and that she had destoryed my life forever. I don't know my real dad and im not sure i ever will want to and now that I've lost both dads well I've mannaged to keep going but it hurts knowing that niether of my dads wanted me. I also have a 18 year old brother and he's not exactly supporting. I've been depressed for years now and this divorce has made it worse. And the icing on the cake is every one is telling me to grow up and get over it, cry me a river build a bridge and get over it, or its in the past so leave it there. They are all expecting me to just forgive my dad and his new fiancee  (meaning just got engaged 2 months ago) and move on and they are also expecting me to go to the wedding and be a stupid maid of honor. HELP what do I do? 


I have a friend in a similar situation.  Things happen and its out of our control.  Cry all you want, the more you let out the less it will hurt later (crying is never a weakness).  If her daughter is that horrible to you then don't give her the time off day.  As for your biological father,  later in life I can tell you now that you will want to meet him (its natural) every friend I have (with a biological father) has wanted to meet them.  As for the wedding if you don't want to go then you honestly do not have to go.  If he asks why, then calmly tell him why.  

Most importantly always remember 

At least fifteen people in this world love you.

The only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you

There are at least two people in this world that would die for you

You mean the world to someone.

Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you

When you make the biggest mistake ever,something good comes from it.

When you think the world has turned its back on you, Think of the positives.

Always remember the compliments you've received.

Forget the rude remarks.



 


You

Kill it with kindness

To the friends i have that reperesent this.


Posted almost 4 years ago

Posted By:

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thanks so much for helping me smile 


Posted almost 4 years ago

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Default girl ebfa4eefafa81bb90719837d64c24469880b9b6f180430fe833764236bc8b5a4
Posts: 2

Don't feel bad about it just keep going in life as long as you are happy with what you do don't worry about the rest people can be mean like that maybe when you are like twenty two you can see your real dad and maybe it will go well have faith... Wink


Posted almost 4 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl ebfa4eefafa81bb90719837d64c24469880b9b6f180430fe833764236bc8b5a4
Posts: 2

Dear dish-it my parents are divorced I feel like its my fault everybody says it's not I tried talking with my mom but she said that I should get over it... I tried talking to my counselor at school but that didn't work I hope you can help me out with this one ... Oops I almost forgot my dad lives in Mexico and I don't get to see him soo often and I feel horrible for that... Worried Frown


Posted almost 4 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl ebfa4eefafa81bb90719837d64c24469880b9b6f180430fe833764236bc8b5a4
Lock e1691472cafece64304be81c5c9c507a93800d3a6cd5948297266277351b71ef
U have to forgive ur father, no matter how bad he is u have forgive cuz he's ur father i know its hard to live moment like this so i hope u feel no pain and smile. Bout wedding, i know u hate ur father and u cant take anymore but believe there will be some great moments in ur life that will be laughing so hard, go to ur fathers wedding cuz and just ignore him and further wife. There are lot people like u so u r not alone u have brother if not u can talk with me here. Just forgive ur dad no matter how bad he is.

U R What U Love Not Who Loves U.
In The World Full Of Word Yes, Im To Scream NO NO!!
Alive but Alone


Posted almost 4 years ago
From personal experience? Forgive but never forget. Cry all you want. However, know that there is an up  to every down. Everything happens for a reason. This is going to be tough. But, resentment towards them won't help anything. Try to be happy for your dad and his fiancee. Something good might come out of it. Go to the wedding. Be there for him. Everything is going to be okay. 

This post was probably a waste of my time.


Posted almost 4 years ago

Posted By:

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Posts: 30521

Ello.

I follow about you being adopted by your Mum's brother who is your adopted Dad.

Your Dad didnt leave you..  He left cos he wasnt staying with your Mum anymore.  He didnt love her.. He still loves you. Gosh. He wants you to be his Maid of Honour at his wedding.. he wants you as part of his future life.

I does think you should re-think about this.. I doesnt think he wanted to hurt you.

This is just me opinion and I really hope it works out for you
Good luck Love





___________________________
hugebear from gracie and mia
classicalmusicisepicdonethis for me siggy :love thank you

from classicalmusicisepic for mesiggy


hugebearkeep calm and hug ted


Posted almost 4 years ago

"hugebear" wrote:

Ello.



I follow about you being adopted by your Mum's brother who is your adopted Dad.



Your Dad didnt leave you..  He left cos he wasnt staying with your Mum anymore.  He didnt love her.. He still loves you. Gosh. He wants you to be his Maid of Honour at his wedding.. he wants you as part of his future life.



I does think you should re-think about this.. I doesnt think he wanted to hurt you.



This is just me opinion and I really hope it works out for you

Good luck Love










Huge is exactly right. 

This post was probably a waste of my time.


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