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My ex boyfriend's best friend

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Posted over 5 years ago

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Okay, so, first off, this is gonna be pretty long, second, I know there will be the whole,"You're too young to have feelings" and "You're just a kid", well, I am 12 almost 13, and I admit, most 12 year olds are too young, but I'm waaaaayyyyy more mature than most my age, and, just as my sister says, IT MATTERS ON HOW MATURE YOUR HEART IS. So, even if you still feel that way, don't post, just ignore this. If you have advice, and you actually care, please tell me, because I'M A MESS!  So, 2 years ago, I was dating a guy, let's call him 'N'. After a while, he introduced me to his friend, let's call him 'J', well I had a friend let's call her 'A'. A and J met, and A started telling me that she had the biggest crush on J, so J found out and J and A started dating. Me and N broke up so many times because of him cheating and then I forgave him, and yeah. A couple of months of A and J dating, J overheard A making fun of him, so he broke up with her. Me and N broke up August of 2011, this time for good. A moved. In October of 2011, I started having feelings for J, in December of 2011, my friend D told him. N asked J out for me, but J said, "No, I promised N I'd never go out with you". So yeah. Every time someone asked us, "Does J like you back", he wouldn't say yes, and he wouldn't say no, he just said, "I promised N I wouldn't" Which made me and everyone else suspect that he liked me. Well....I met J's best friend, let's call him 'K'. Once me and J were talking and I was eating, some of it got on my shirt, I asked him to hand me my jacket, he handed it to me and offered to wipe it off my shirt....It was kind of odd, and also, we were playing guess who, and I had my hand and on top of the board, and he put his hand on mine and started rubbing my hand with his thumb....Also kinda odd.  In Feb, 2012, my feelings started to change, I started....Falling in love with him, at first I refused to accept it since he didn't even like me back, I knew that would leave me miserable for the rest of my life, but my sister kind of just, told me that there was no getting out of it. I was in love with him. As weeks went by, I fell deeper in love, to where I couldn't convince myself that I wasn't. No matter how rude he was to me, how mad I was at him, I would let myself die if it meant he lived. I REALLY cared about him. In March, of 2012, he told me he was moving. on May 16th, I told K(Now he was J's best friend) about my feelings, he promised he wouldn't tell J(AND J was moving the next day). The next day I was talking to J and K at school, K said, "Hey, Ranessa(my name), Don't you wanna tell J what you told me yesterday!?". "No, and you can't make me!", I said. Then J said, "Yeah, I'd rather you not.". I was confused, then J said, "K told me this morning.". "WHAT!? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!", I yelled at K. "Well, he's moving today so, why not?", he said. "Well we're still gonna talk on Fb and stuff, plus you promised me you wouldn't.", I said. "Yeah I just wanna be friends.", J said, awkwardly.  Later that day I was talking to my friends. J yelled from across the room, "Ranessa! did you see that episode of Friends last night?" Then we talked about TV like nothing happened that day. J's mom came to pick him up, he said bye and gave hugs and stuff to everyone...Except me..... After he left, everyone was happy and excited that he left, except me and K who sat in the hall crying." A couple of weeks later, me a my best friend C were talking and I told her everything, she told me to call him, I called and he didn't answer. The next day me and C were talking and I heard my phone ring, I remembered it was J's ringer(which is If You Ever Come Back by The Script). I answered it nervously, "Hello?" I heard him say. "Hey" I said, "You called me yesterday?" he said, "Oh, C told me to, sorry." "It's fine, I can't talk so call me tomorrow." "Okay" I called him the next day. We talked a little, about little things. So yeah, it's been two months since he left, and I'm a mess. We've talked a little since he left, but when we do it's little things. Neither of us have mentioned what K told him, and I'm okay with that, but I kinda want to talk to him about it, yanno? There's things I need to say about it. I've been crying at night, thinking about, thinking about how I'm never gonna get over him. You'll call me pathetic but I don't care, because I love him and I don't know how to, get over it, help?(Lol, told ya it would be a long post)


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