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Posted almost 12 years ago

Posted By:

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Posts: 882

A man dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter asks him what religion he belongs to. The man tells him and Saint Peter says "oh, we have a lot of your kind here. In fact, we have a special room for all of you so you can all be together!"

He leads the man down a long hallway with doors on either side.

They pass one door and they hear a bunch of yelling and hollering inside. "Who''s in that room?" the man asks. "Oh, those are the holy rollers," says Saint Peter. "They make a lot of noise but they''re pretty harmless".

They pass by another door which is nearly shaking off its hinges. "Who''s in there?" the man asks. "That''s the room for the Shakers" replies Saint Peter.

Then they approach another door. Saint Peter whispers to the man, "we must be very quiet going past this door. Don''t make a sound."

They tiptoe past the door and when they get farther down the hallway the man asks Saint Peter who was in that room.

"Oh, those are the Catholics. They think they''re the only ones up here!"

-Dusk
__________________________________

Member of the emo-self-conscious-who-think-we-can''t-write Club


Posted almost 12 years ago

Posted By:

Default guy 2f448f46d95d5f9e435a7e65f0ed4d8f1bd4e0537d335baaa30428dc294fc57a
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Posts: 882

A man goes to the confessional and begins "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."

"What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back."Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest.

"I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."

"Is that when you swore?" "No, Father," says the man.

"After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."

"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Father again. "Well, no," says the man.

"You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"

"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed Priest. "No, not yet," the man replies.

"As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew toward the green. As it passed over a a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball."

"Did you swear THEN?" asks the now impatient Priest.

"No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole."

The Priest sighs, "You missed the putt, didn''t you?!?"

-Dusk
__________________________________

Member of the emo-self-conscious-who-think-we-can''t-write Club


Posted almost 12 years ago

Posted By:

Default guy 2f448f46d95d5f9e435a7e65f0ed4d8f1bd4e0537d335baaa30428dc294fc57a
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Posts: 34

I don''t get it.

~aggie_brat12~


Posted almost 12 years ago

Posted By:

Default guy 2f448f46d95d5f9e435a7e65f0ed4d8f1bd4e0537d335baaa30428dc294fc57a
Lock e1691472cafece64304be81c5c9c507a93800d3a6cd5948297266277351b71ef
Posts: 882

Date: 2/24/2006 4:15:54 PM
Author:
I don''t get it.


Lol...



A young boy, about eight years old, walks into the local grocery store and picks our a huge box of laundry detergent.

The grocer walked over, and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.

"Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I''m going to wash my dog!"

"But you shouldn''t use this to wash your dog. It''s very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he''ll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."

But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.

About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.

"Oh, he died," the boy said sadly.

The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog!"

"Well," the boy replied, "I don''t think it was the detergent that killed him."

"Oh? What was it then?"

"I think it was the spin cycle!"

-Dusk
__________________________________

Member of the emo-self-conscious-who-think-we-can''t-write Club


Posted almost 12 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl ebfa4eefafa81bb90719837d64c24469880b9b6f180430fe833764236bc8b5a4
Lock e1691472cafece64304be81c5c9c507a93800d3a6cd5948297266277351b71ef
Date: 2/24/2006 2:53:22 PM
Author:
A man dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter asks him what religion he belongs to. The man tells him and Saint Peter says ''oh, we have a lot of your kind here. In fact, we have a special room for all of you so you can all be together!''

He leads the man down a long hallway with doors on either side.

They pass one door and they hear a bunch of yelling and hollering inside. ''Who''s in that room?'' the man asks. ''Oh, those are the holy rollers,'' says Saint Peter. ''They make a lot of noise but they''re pretty harmless''.

They pass by another door which is nearly shaking off its hinges. ''Who''s in there?'' the man asks. ''That''s the room for the Shakers'' replies Saint Peter.

Then they approach another door. Saint Peter whispers to the man, ''we must be very quiet going past this door. Don''t make a sound.''

They tiptoe past the door and when they get farther down the hallway the man asks Saint Peter who was in that room.

''Oh, those are the Catholics. They think they''re the only ones up here!''

O_O


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