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My First Song

Posted By:
CarrieFan23-l Lock
CarrieFan23-l
Member since:
January, 2007
StarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 22
It may stink, but I need feedback. Please be nice, but honest.

It doesn`t have a title yet.

? by CarrieFan23

Verse 1

I promised myself I wouldn`t cry,
But you never even said goodbye.

I promised that I would just let go,
but you never gave me the chance to show,
just how much I care. and now I..

Chourus 1

Just can`t believe how much I miss you,
no one knows what I`m going through.
It makes it so hard for me to move on,
When I hear... That same old song.

It`s been two months now, I guess I know,
That you really, have let go.

You called me just yesterday,
But I just didn`t have the words to say,
just what you did for me. Now I`m...

Chourus 2

Just sitting here, wonderin` why you weren`t there,
I don`t know how much more pain I can bare.
It makes it so hard for me to move on,
When I Hear... That Same old Song

Bridge

Today I am one year older,
Every Day my heart grows colder.
I wonder if you know,
I will never let go.

Repeat chourus 1&2

Tag: (softly) I heard Our song yesterday, I don`t know what to say.... (Spoken) Anymore.

This was all A true story. I only write from real life experiences.





Addicted To Idol

CARRIEFAN23


My First Song

Posted By:
xxstarkickerxx-l Lock
xxstarkickerxx-l
Member since:
January, 2007
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 342
Date: 6/28/2005 3:10:24 PM
Author:
If that''s the whole song, not only is it unbelievably short, but the lyrics are cliched and I''m sure theres songs that have almost the same exact lyrics (And more because real songs are longer). To put it short and honest it''s not that good, but keep practicing. I was writing songs for about 6 months because they even started getting remotely good. Even now I can still use practice. Plus you need better subject matter. Don''t write about that cliche stuff unless you can make it cool and unique.


U have some weird obsession with cliches.......

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*Summa*

I am nobody

~!~From a gangsta Goth ...deal with it~!~


My First Song

Posted By:
CarrieFan23-l Lock
CarrieFan23-l
Member since:
January, 2007
StarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 22
Thank you for the feedback! I `ve been writing since I was seven, but I usually just write to express my emotions. So I just write, and I don`t worry about anything else.

Addicted To Idol

CARRIEFAN23


My First Song

Posted By:
rocawear princess Lock
rocawear princess
Member since:
January, 2007
StarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 24
the song has a nice feel to it. i think u should work on putting stronger words into the versses but it''s really not bad. sure it''s cliche, but if those are your emotions and u wear them on you''re sleve, don''t worry about what bloggers have to say. if u like it, that''s all that matter.

My First Song

Posted By:
calli grl 36 27-l Lock
calli grl 36 27-l
Member since:
January, 2007
StarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 15
wow...i really liked that....it was really good !!!

My First Song

Posted By:
CarrieFan23-l Lock
CarrieFan23-l
Member since:
January, 2007
StarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 22
Thanx, Calli Grl 36 27. I`m glad you liked it!

Addicted To Idol

CARRIEFAN23


My First Song

Posted By:
Summer_Chick_355241 Lock
Summer_Chick_355241
Member since:
January, 2007
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 407
Date: 6/28/2005 3:06:40 PM
Author:
It may stink, but I need feedback. Please be nice, but honest.

It doesn`t have a title yet.

? by CarrieFan23

Verse 1

I promised myself I wouldn`t cry,
But you never even said goodbye.

I promised that I would just let go,
but you never gave me the chance to show,
just how much I care. and now I..

Chourus 1

Just can`t believe how much I miss you,
no one knows what I`m going through.
It makes it so hard for me to move on,
When I hear... That same old song.

It`s been two months now, I guess I know,
That you really, have let go.

You called me just yesterday,
But I just didn`t have the words to say,
just what you did for me. Now I`m...

Chourus 2

Just sitting here, wonderin` why you weren`t there,
I don`t know how much more pain I can bare.
It makes it so hard for me to move on,
When I Hear... That Same old Song

Bridge

Today I am one year older,
Every Day my heart grows colder.
I wonder if you know,
I will never let go.

Repeat chourus 1&2

Tag: (softly) I heard Our song yesterday, I don`t know what to say.... (Spoken) Anymore.

This was all A true story. I only write from real life experiences.







For your first time, thats awesome! If you make any more, make them longer. Like I said, thats was awesome. *claps hands*

~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~**Christy**~~

FrIeNdS aRe FoReVeR
bOyS aRe WhAtEvEr!!!!

Friends
*******
Ally
Steph
Gwathie
Gigi
Erin
Keith
Licia





My First Song

Posted By:
Summer_Chick_355241 Lock
Summer_Chick_355241
Member since:
January, 2007
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 407
I know a good title "Let Go". What do you think?

~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~**Christy**~~

FrIeNdS aRe FoReVeR
bOyS aRe WhAtEvEr!!!!

Friends
*******
Ally
Steph
Gwathie
Gigi
Erin
Keith
Licia





My First Song

Posted By:
CarrieFan23-l Lock
CarrieFan23-l
Member since:
January, 2007
StarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 22
"Let Go" is a great title! thank you!

Addicted To Idol

CARRIEFAN23


My First Song

Posted By:
CarrieFan23-l Lock
CarrieFan23-l
Member since:
January, 2007
StarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 22
Hi this is Carriefan23!

I just thought I`d tell you that this song means nothing to me anymore.
It`s stupid, because I don`t feel the same way about my situation.
The person I wrote about, is not the same person.

He`s a J-E-R-K Jerk!

Therefore, I don`t miss this person anymore!

I`m working on a new song called: I don`t Care/Jerk. I`ll post it when I`m done.

I haven`t chosen a title yet.
I like them both.

Addicted To Idol

CARRIEFAN23


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