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Posted By:
sandfur121
sandfur121
Member since:
January 2012
Status:
Offline

Posts: 2213
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
"Get out of here!" I scream at my brother as he looked at me despairingly, wanting deserately to save me from the door that was closing above my head. We both knew I would be imprisioned, locked up starved in a horrible cell. Let me take you back to the beginning; where this horror all started. This is 2332, and any people who had lived in the USA 300 years ago either fled or are dead. A rebel organization has taken over the seven continents. My name is Dawn Brown. I am fourteen years old. My ancestors did not flee; they stayed to defend their country. My parents are dead. The only kin I know of is my brother, Jay, who is eleven, hopefully far, far away from here.

Authors note:
Hi, I'm Sandy. This is Chapter one. 
 Will post Chapter two if at least five people post. :3


Posted By:
sandfur121
sandfur121
Member since:
January 2012
Status:
Offline

Posts: 2213
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
Anyone?
Please?


Posted By:
otakunini
otakunini
Member since:
November 2012
Status:
Offline

Posts: 566
StarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
It's good so far. tip: if you make them a little longer then that might helps carry the readers on. don't forget to add a cliff hanger every few chapters. 

Posted By:
sandfur121
sandfur121
Member since:
January 2012
Status:
Offline

Posts: 2213
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago

"otakunini" wrote:

It's good so far. tip: if you make them a little longer then that might helps carry the readers on. don't forget to add a cliff hanger every few chapters. 
Thank you. I forgot to edit that it was only part of chapter one, I kept writing.


Posted By:
HeadPhones-
HeadPhones-
Member since:
July 2011
Status:
Offline

Posts: 3328
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
In Love with this!!!!!


ıllıllı ιт's ∂αяк sσ үσυ cαη sεε тнε ℓιgнт αη∂ ιт's нαя∂ sσ үσυ cαη кησω ιт's яιgнт αη∂ яαιη ησтнιηg εvεя gяσωs ωιтнσυт үσυ αη∂ нυят ιs נυsт α cнαηcε тσ нεαℓ αη∂ тεαяs αяε נυsт α cαℓℓ тσ ғεεℓ αη∂ ραιη вεαυтү's נυsт α ωσя∂ ωιтнσυт үσυ вεαυтү's נυsт α ωσя∂ ωιтнσυт үσυ ıllıllı


Posted By:
sandfur121
sandfur121
Member since:
January 2012
Status:
Offline

Posts: 2213
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
@apenforyourthoughts
THANK YOU!!! Big Grin
Anyway, I have to go to bed. I will post in the morning.


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