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Posted almost 5 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl ebfa4eefafa81bb90719837d64c24469880b9b6f180430fe833764236bc8b5a4
Posts: 3350

Chapter 1

I woke up covered in newspaper and about 10 cuts on my legs. Newspaper isn't a nice blanket but that's all i have. Sitting up I look around at my crowded but comfy little space. All walls are this wonderful brown and i have my dad here...my dad.
Who am I kidding. My name is Tuko, i live in a shack for goodness sack. It's not comfy or cozy it's cold and horrible. And my dad isn't here. He died a month ago of a heart attack. Leaving me nothing but $1,000 dollars I moved out of my lovely home selling it for about $10,00 not enough to buy a new home. Not knowing what to do or where to go I i took some carboard and bought some tape and made that my home. I work 5 jobs every weekend. Even worse.... i'm just 15 years old. Of course I still have to go to school.
 School! Looking at my watch i see it say 6:45 a.m. I scramble out of the newspaper witch causes me to get another paper cut. I crawl through the tiny door and grab my clothes from on top of my little cardboard house. I go behind the trash can and change. I grab my backpack and run out onto  the streets. I stop by my first job which is cleaning hotel rooms and grab my pay check. It read $8.  At least i have enough this time to eat at the breakfest buffet called. Kuki. I grab a plate and piled some sugar rice on it and grabbing a few donuts. I rushed to eat scared i'd be late for school. I finished within 5 minutes.
 I rushed out the door and stopped for a moment so the sun rays can soak into my clothes. They where still a little wet from washing them in the pond. I quickly ran to school and was dissapointed that i was really early. Sitting on the rock i waited for the bell.

Awwww

~Claudia


Posted almost 5 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl ebfa4eefafa81bb90719837d64c24469880b9b6f180430fe833764236bc8b5a4
Posts: 3350

Questions

1. Rate 1 to 10?
2. Ideas?
3. You gonna read it till the end?

Awwww

~Claudia


Posted almost 5 years ago

Posted By:

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Posts: 5235

Pretty good!  Big Grin

My whole goal in life is to get AlphaT to debate Teh_Skittlez as an Atheist and for Teh_Skittlez to debate AlphaT as a Christian.

lolololololololol

That awkward moment when you realize that you couldn't see that amazing debate because you're not old enough to see the P&R section... -.-


Posted almost 5 years ago

Posted By:

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I'm rating this as a 10, I don't have any ideas yet, and yes. I will read it until the end.

I am who I am, and no one can change that.


Posted almost 5 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl ebfa4eefafa81bb90719837d64c24469880b9b6f180430fe833764236bc8b5a4
Posts: 3350

Chapter 2

It felt like a day passed before the bell finally rang. Running inside i walked into the principal's office. As usual he was arguing with his wife. Sometimes I wonder if they are right for each other. I search through my page seeing Mr. kutcho was starting to make sense that she was in his office so he said a hastey goodbye and hung up.
 Finally finding what i needed i dropped the packet on his desk. "I've decided to take your offer of writing a few stories for our newspaper." She sits down in a chair watching him laugh and smile while reading her stories. Once he closes the packet he smiles "I love all of them. Welcome aboard."
I walk out of the office excited to tell my friends the new knews. My friends names where Ranghu and Peku. Ranghu, i knew longer. She was very head strong and very protective of me, She is always interested in gangs so i wasn't suprised when a few days ago she told me she joined one. I'm just scared she will get hurt. Peku i met two years ago. She is a very dark person. She believes she can talk to ghost but i know it is just an act for attention. I love her anyway.
When i approach my locker i see both of them standing their very ahppy to see me. Of course Ranghu is the first to see my paper cuts and says. "Who has done this to you Tiku, i swear when i find out they will be in a world of pain" I brush her hand from my legs and say "Don't worry Ranghu"
I can see in Peku's eyes that  she has a burning question. I says softly "Peku" "id he like it?" Peku says suddenly. "Yes" i say. "That's good because i was telling Peku here that if he didnt i would-" I Brush the tangle i see from Ranghu's hair and say ," You don't always have to think about voilence."
Just then i see the hottest most nicest boy walk down the hallway, with of course his enturouge right behind him. Me being stupid thought me and my friends could pass him before we got trampled. Clumsy me tripped on a stool and fell. I  heared Ranghu yell and some manly hands under my back pick me up. Bravely  I look up.

Questions!
1.rate 1 to 100
2. What do you think the hottest most popularist boy in schools name should be? ( remeber this is taking place in Japan)
3. Should i make some drama happen with the popularist girl in school?

Awwww

~Claudia


Posted almost 5 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl ebfa4eefafa81bb90719837d64c24469880b9b6f180430fe833764236bc8b5a4
Posts: 3350

feedback?

Awwww

~Claudia


Posted almost 5 years ago

Posted By:

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Posts: 7

Very good and yes drama is interesting! I don't know any japanese names but so far i like the characters and ypu write well. keep it up. I wrote a short story you should read it. if you go to my profile and click on my forums is called short story please tell me what you think smile

"Our eyes met and sparks flew instantly"


Posted almost 5 years ago

Posted By:

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Nice!

lol :D


Posted almost 5 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl ebfa4eefafa81bb90719837d64c24469880b9b6f180430fe833764236bc8b5a4
Posts: 3350

(Thank you guys comments are always wonderful!)

Chapter 3

Looking up i see the most hottest,popularist boy in school, Kiku looking straight back at me. I scrambled out of his arms standing up and flattening out my skirt. "Thank you" I say before grabbing Ranghu's arm and Peku's arm and pulling them along. "Of all people does it always have to be me!" I say out of breath. We make our way to our homeroom with Mr. Hatsune. Ranghu and Peku take their seats in the back as usual but i just deside to lay between their two desks. "My life is over" I say. "Your not dead" Peku says. "Yah but i sure do feel like it" i say.
 That day went by real quickly. The thing that suprised me was at the end of the day when Peku asked, "When can Ranghu and I come check out your place we haven't seen your dad in forever!" Thats when i feel that pang of guilt come up on my chest. I still remeber the day when i swore to myself i'd never tell them. Peku would cry everytime she saw me and Ranghu would want to do everything for me. "Um not today but maybe later on this month.. My dad.. he has a ...he has...the stomach flu and i should probably get going home! Bye guys" I say before grabbing my stuff and running home.
 Once i was in my little space i put down my bag and started on my homework. Finishing in an estimate of two hours. Then i fix up my things in a nice organize manor so it looked somewhat nice in my little cardboard house. While i was folding my newspaper blanket i see it's very quite dirty. I had a few cents to buy a new one and i needed to wash my two pairs of outfits in the pond anyway. I grabed my small bag that my dad got me a few weeks before he died and stuffed my two outfits in it and a dollar. I ran out of the cardboard house and down the street to the newspaper stand. Buying a copy i then walked to the big pond. It was starting to get very dark outside when  i started washing my clothes. After i washed my clothes i changed into my pj's that where slighty wet and then washed my school uniform.
 I walked back to my cardboard house and put my wet clothes on top of it. I climbed in and unfloded the newspaper. I tried my best to soften up the edges before i started to read my book for the night. Today was a friday which ment tomorrow i had a free day to go window shopping before work. I finished up my latest book and settled down for the night. I pray a little then kiss my fingers and put them on the picture of my dad. "Goodnight dad" I say before closing my eyes.

Awwww

~Claudia


Posted almost 5 years ago

Posted By:

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rating my as 2 because when my alarm clock goes off i want to go back to sleep

sami1998


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