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someone please read my poem

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Posted By:
lemonadewithbrownies
lemonadewithbrownies
Member since:
May 2012
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Posts: 295
StarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
its for my writing class' poetry slam tommorow and i need feedback,so please...
"Breakfast"
I always wake up to food
It seems to set my mood
It's either waffles or pancakes
Hash-browns or mancakes
And what is a waffle without syrup?
I must have syrup or else it'll taste like a turnip
Syrup,syrup,syrup,I'm missing you today
I might as well go eat breakfast in may
I love you dearly
Turnips merely
I must have you today

I live in America and I love anime.Here's what I wanna say to you : BLUE CHICKENS AND MONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Toriko
One of my favorite animes
toriko


Posted By:
lemonadewithbrownies
lemonadewithbrownies
Member since:
May 2012
Status:
Offline

Posts: 295
StarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
btw mancakes are giant pancakes

I live in America and I love anime.Here's what I wanna say to you : BLUE CHICKENS AND MONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Toriko
One of my favorite animes
toriko


Posted By:
WizardGirl3311
WizardGirl3311
Member since:
April 2013
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Posts: 2682
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
Cute poem!

A signature pic. (Thanks, MechanicWolf!)

No roleplay is quite the same, no matter how many times we use the same plot. Each one presents a new challenge, a new adventure.


Posted By:
lemonadewithbrownies
lemonadewithbrownies
Member since:
May 2012
Status:
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Posts: 295
StarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
thx,im going against 2 of the smartest people in my class,the winner gets a suprise,my friend dared me to do it since he thinks im such a good writer(i always help him with spelling and stuff)

I live in America and I love anime.Here's what I wanna say to you : BLUE CHICKENS AND MONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Toriko
One of my favorite animes
toriko


Posted By:
WizardGirl3311
WizardGirl3311
Member since:
April 2013
Status:
Offline

Posts: 2682
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
-nods -

A signature pic. (Thanks, MechanicWolf!)

No roleplay is quite the same, no matter how many times we use the same plot. Each one presents a new challenge, a new adventure.


Posted By:
shae508
shae508
Member since:
January 2012
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Posts: 9212
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
the poem makes me hungry. Wink

Being normal is so boring~
Why not be insane instead?
Devil

6000th post 9/16/2014 6:13 PM Big Grin
8888th post 3/27/2015 (For you huge! Big Grin)


Posted By:
lemonadewithbrownies
lemonadewithbrownies
Member since:
May 2012
Status:
Offline

Posts: 295
StarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago

"shae508" wrote:

the poem makes me hungry. Wink

haha,yeah

I live in America and I love anime.Here's what I wanna say to you : BLUE CHICKENS AND MONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Toriko
One of my favorite animes
toriko


Posted By:
PeachyArtist_2467855 Lock
PeachyArtist_2467855
Member since:
May 2013
Status:
Offline

Posts: 140
StarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
Cute, I like it! ;3

Posted By:
WizardGirl3311
WizardGirl3311
Member since:
April 2013
Status:
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Posts: 2682
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
I heard that poems express feelings. Read this:
Water, Water, everywhere,
But not a drop to drink.
Doesn't that make you thirsty? So, if reading your poem makes you hungry when you read/hear it, then you should be able to tell if it has feeling.

(Thanks for helping me remeber that, Shae508!)

A signature pic. (Thanks, MechanicWolf!)

No roleplay is quite the same, no matter how many times we use the same plot. Each one presents a new challenge, a new adventure.


Posted By:
shae508
shae508
Member since:
January 2012
Status:
Offline

Posts: 9212
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago

"WizardGirl3311" wrote:

I heard that poems express feelings. Read this:

Water, Water, everywhere,

But not a drop to drink.

Doesn't that make you thirsty? So, if reading your poem makes you hungry when you read/hear it, then you should be able to tell if it has feeling.


(Thanks for helping me remeber that, Shae508!)




your welcome!

Being normal is so boring~
Why not be insane instead?
Devil

6000th post 9/16/2014 6:13 PM Big Grin
8888th post 3/27/2015 (For you huge! Big Grin)


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